a lil' joke to get you on your way, guys. - U2 Feedback

Go Back   U2 Feedback > Lypton Village > Lemonade Stand > Lemonade Stand Archive
Click Here to Login
 
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
 
Old 03-10-2005, 05:59 PM   #1
ONE
love, blood, life
 
Zoomerang96's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: canada
Posts: 13,462
Local Time: 12:45 PM
a lil' joke to get you on your way, guys.

ok guys, ready for a joke?

i caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan't heeeaaaaar you? are you ready for a joke?

ok, this is one of my favourites. i've always said, the best jokes are the ones that can be said in 10 seconds or less. this one certainly comes close.

alright here it goes.

there's this man, randall i think his name was, he's like 29 or 30 or something. he's single, hasn't dated in years and was really feeling randy in the pubic area.

so one day he goes to old man steptoe, whom he'd known since he was a little boy.

now old man steptoe wasn't a man of great beauty, intelligence, or charm. but his three daughters, they had more than of it to make up for him.

so randall asks greggy (old man steptoe) "you know greggy, i need to spread the ol' seed if you know what i mean. any chance you can hook me up with that hot broad of yours?"

old man steptoe hadn't a problem with that, so he gave him the keys to the heart of his oldest daughter.

the two went out ona date the very next day, and the cat came back. sandwhiches are wonderful, sandwhiches are fun

~fred penner

now where was i.

ok, so the date. yeah, whatever, the date was fine, and when greggy came back old man steptoe couldn't wait to hear what randy randall had to say about the evening.

"yeah, it was ok...i guess."

"well, what went wrong?"

"she's just not what i'm looking for."

so, with that old man steptoe exchanged proverbial keys and gave randall the rights to date his middle daughter pagauses.

so out they went, and yada yada, nothing really happened.

when they got back randall told steptoe she wasn't all that shit-hot either, and told steptoe that if his last daughter wasn't better than the last two, he'd kick the piss out of him.

naturally, randall took out steptoes last daughter, and sure enough - it was a success!

the new york observer wrote:

"nights don't get much better for young lovers, than the one experienced by randall and old man steptoes youngest daughter. they had a great time!"

the globe in mail in ontario wrote:

"the toronto maple leafs dealt forwards gary roberts and tie domi to the edmonton oilers in exchange for ryan smyth and defenceman steve staios in a trade that has left the entire national hockey league shaking it's head in collective bewilderment."

randall had a girlfriend, and old man steptoe didn't get the shit beat out of him.

__________________

Zoomerang96 is offline  
Old 03-10-2005, 06:06 PM   #2
Paper Gods
Forum Administrator
 
KhanadaRhodes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: a vampire in the limousine
Posts: 60,629
Local Time: 12:45 PM
this is like goldilocks on crack.
__________________

__________________
KhanadaRhodes is offline  
Old 03-10-2005, 06:09 PM   #3
ONE
love, blood, life
 
Zoomerang96's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: canada
Posts: 13,462
Local Time: 12:45 PM
did you at least like the newspaper clippings? i thought they added nice reinforcement of the facts.

Zoomerang96 is offline  
Old 03-10-2005, 06:14 PM   #4
Paper Gods
Forum Administrator
 
KhanadaRhodes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: a vampire in the limousine
Posts: 60,629
Local Time: 12:45 PM
yes, they were wonderful.
__________________
KhanadaRhodes is offline  
Old 03-10-2005, 07:43 PM   #5
Blue Meth Addict
 
u2popmofo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Texas
Posts: 37,088
Local Time: 12:45 PM
I totally just snorted my juice box out my nose and stuff!!! That's how funny this joke is!!!! Hahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahha, and so on.
u2popmofo is offline  
Old 03-10-2005, 07:58 PM   #6
ONE
love, blood, life
 
Zoomerang96's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: canada
Posts: 13,462
Local Time: 12:45 PM




Zoomerang96 is offline  
Old 03-10-2005, 08:01 PM   #7
ONE
love, blood, life
 
MrBrau1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Verplexed in Vermont
Posts: 10,436
Local Time: 12:45 PM
Pass the bong this way.
__________________
"If you needed my autograph, I'd give it to you." Bob Dylan
MrBrau1 is offline  
Old 03-10-2005, 08:09 PM   #8
ONE
love, blood, life
 
Zoomerang96's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: canada
Posts: 13,462
Local Time: 12:45 PM
only if i can get a kiss.
Zoomerang96 is offline  
Old 03-10-2005, 08:13 PM   #9
ONE
love, blood, life
 
MrBrau1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Location: Verplexed in Vermont
Posts: 10,436
Local Time: 12:45 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by Zoomerang96
only if i can get a kiss.
Where? Top or bottom?
__________________
"If you needed my autograph, I'd give it to you." Bob Dylan
MrBrau1 is offline  
Old 03-10-2005, 08:14 PM   #10
Rock n' Roll Doggie
 
Calluna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Cloud Cookoo Land
Posts: 3,542
Local Time: 10:45 AM
What a happy story. Everything works out in the end.

I am assuming this is not the same Randall who is a correspondent on Zedbetty's blog. Nothing ever works out right in that Randall's world.
Calluna is offline  
Old 03-10-2005, 08:15 PM   #11
ONE
love, blood, life
 
Zoomerang96's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: canada
Posts: 13,462
Local Time: 12:45 PM
hard luck randall?

it might be, i don't know. i guess i can ask?
Zoomerang96 is offline  
Old 03-10-2005, 08:16 PM   #12
Rock n' Roll Doggie
 
Calluna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Cloud Cookoo Land
Posts: 3,542
Local Time: 10:45 AM
Trust me, it's a different Randall.
Calluna is offline  
Old 03-10-2005, 08:25 PM   #13
Rock n' Roll Doggie
Band-aid
 
lmjhitman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: tbtf
Posts: 4,317
Local Time: 11:45 AM
*clap*



*clap*



*clap*







lmjhitman is offline  
Old 03-10-2005, 08:26 PM   #14
ONE
love, blood, life
 
Zoomerang96's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: canada
Posts: 13,462
Local Time: 12:45 PM
oooh look, someone here has the clap.

~cujo
Zoomerang96 is offline  
Old 03-10-2005, 08:27 PM   #15
Rock n' Roll Doggie
 
Calluna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Cloud Cookoo Land
Posts: 3,542
Local Time: 10:45 AM
Well, does your Randall look like this?
__________________

Calluna is offline  
 

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 12:45 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Design, images and all things inclusive copyright © Interference.com