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Old 06-05-2002, 01:25 AM   #1
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crys A heavy motha thread ....titled: "LIFE...WHY?"

I try to pray, i'm inclined to believe i'm just not good @ it.
All i can think of is "please help".....the thing is i hate,hate,HATE asking for help; but i tried... i just ended up balling. And i hate to cry, i feel so much like a baby (yes, i'm female btw...i bring that up because i assumed you all would think i'm a guy, 'cause you know its only guys that are supposed to not wanna cry...i donno; anyway...)
Its weird, don't get me wrong I believe (even tho I wouldn't say i have the strongest faith), but sometimes, even when i'm praying its like "is there even anyone (God) really listening"I don't know, even tho i believe (take that at what you will) its like "damn, i wish that this life is all there is", i can't explain it, its so hard to comprehend total happiness (i.e. heaven) its like sometimes i think the only total happiness i could have is ultimately death (i won't lie, i don't exactly love life)
sorry for ramblin' (and for this thread), i'm just really tired of struggling w/ every thought that comes into my head

sorry for being so introspective/stupid/whatever.....argh!
fuck life, is it even necessary, for WHAT?
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Old 06-05-2002, 05:58 AM   #2
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I always questioned life. It's like, why does ANYTHING even have to exist???? WHY?

But it does...so all we can do is make the most of it. I rely on friends so greatly, which makes it hard that all of my good friends live 400 miles away, and John lives 650 miles away...I never see anybody! But I've got my dad here...he's like a best friend...and my co-workers are great. All you can do is try to find the good things. All the bad things in life make us appreciate those more.

It took me about 8 years to feel this way, but I think I finally do...about time I practice what I've been preachin' instead of being a hypocrite.
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Old 06-05-2002, 06:00 AM   #3
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Just thought I should add...

U2002revolution! , if you ever want somebody to talk to, feel free to private message or email me.
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Old 06-05-2002, 11:53 AM   #4
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I wonder everyday. I see all these people who walk around and wonder if people see the same way I do about what I see. It is hard not to be cynical. Very hard. When I see things sometimes I become to introspective and sometimes get mad at myself. I think sometimes I am trying to hard to be ratiocinative about the world so I can be calmer and not be all freaked out about how chaotic everything really is.
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