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Old 11-11-2005, 12:13 PM   #1
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A Guide to male expressions - What men mean

"I'M GOING FISHING"
Means: "You boring woman, I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid,and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."

IT'S A GUY THING"
Means: "You women never understand, it's just fun. There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical".

"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
Means: "Why isn't it already on the table?"

"UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR..."
Means: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response. If anything, it means; "I haven't heard what you said."

"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
Means: "I have no idea how it works."

"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND."
Means: "I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra."

"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD".
Means: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
Means: "Are you still talking?"

"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
Means: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but sorry, I forgot your birthday."

"I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES".
Means: "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."

"OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
Means: "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."

"HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING".
Means: "And I sure hope I can think of some pretty soon."

"I CAN'T FIND IT."
Means: "Help, it didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

"I HEARD YOU."
Means: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me."

"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."
Means: "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."

"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
Means: "Please stop trying on any more dresses, I'm starving."

"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
Means: "No one will ever see us alive again."

"WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK."
Means: "I make the messes, she cleans them up."
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Old 11-11-2005, 12:46 PM   #2
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Re: A Guide to male expressions - What men mean

Quote:
Originally posted by Eliv8

"I CAN'T FIND IT."
Means: "Help, it didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."





Not the funniest one by far, but a certain someone I know said the exact thing to me once.
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Old 11-11-2005, 02:03 PM   #3
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Old 11-11-2005, 02:09 PM   #4
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Now I completely understand men! Thanks!
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Old 11-11-2005, 02:48 PM   #5
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Old 11-11-2005, 02:51 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally posted by Eliv8

"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
Means: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but sorry, I forgot your birthday."
omg.

Change what's remembered to every detail of every motor and frame of every Harley and Indian and BMW and every other bike ever made, and change the forgotten to details of errands and important phone messages and that's my life.
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Old 11-11-2005, 06:14 PM   #7
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Re: A Guide to male expressions - What men mean

Quote:
Originally posted by Eliv8


"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
Means: "No one will ever see us alive again."

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Old 11-12-2005, 12:23 AM   #8
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Quote:
"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
Means: "Please stop trying on any more dresses, I'm starving."
It's true!



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Old 11-12-2005, 12:25 AM   #9
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AHHHHHHH! Never let the ladies behind the curtain.
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Old 11-12-2005, 01:05 AM   #10
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And then there's

"I love you"
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Old 11-12-2005, 01:11 AM   #11
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BAW is my #1 translator. Any faux pax is typically followed by, "You know what I meant......"




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