DISCLAIMER: You may not want to read this. But it's FUNNY.
U2 - BONO DONATES HIS EYES TO STARVING AFRICAN CHILD - 23rd August 2001
Bono, lead singer of Irish group, U2 and long time campaigner against Africa and poverty and orphans has today announced that he has donated his eyes to an African child. Bono, speaking from a hospital bed to a hospital bed told me that he had donated the eyes to silence critics of his humanitarian gestures, "You know, people just don't take all this Stop The Debt stuff seriously, they just think that I'm doing it to sell records and kinda, make me into some kind of Jesus figure, which I suppose in a way I am..." I told Bono that I was at the other side of his bed, he turned to me and continued, "I think that donating my eyes to an African child is something that no fucking music reporter or journalist or poxy Red Cross worker can say is an empty gesture, and it makes me feel better about myself aswell."
"You know, as a group, I think that U2 have moved on from needing to actually have eyes, I mean, It's all about the music now, not the image. This is like a symbolic symbol of the bands progression, in a metaphorical way I suppose, but I think people will know what I mean." Bono told me that his love of sun glasses would be of an advantage now he had only two gaping holes in his face. "The doctors were going to sew the holes up, but I told them no, I mean, why should I hide from the fact that I have no eyes?" Bono makes a good point and is optimistic about life without sight. "I think I've seen everything I need to see in this lifetime, you know: my wife's tits, my bank balance, starving African children, all that sunset shit, and er, porn." I asked Bono what his favourite visual memory was, "...hold on a minute... holy shit, what have I done, porn... lovely, lovely, what the f... no more porn, none, wha.. holy fucking Christ, no... no, no, no I can't see the porn, I can't... I CAN'T SEE THE PORN!" I stepped back as Bono thrust about furiously on his bed screaming for porn and knowing that, no matter what, he can never see lovely porn again. Or his wife either.
It is a tragic yet inspiring story, one of a man, a rock star man, who like some great martyr from heaven gave up his eyes so that a little African child could see. What makes this story all the more touching is the fact instead of being transplanted into the little blind African child, the bastard ate them. Bono has still not been told of the news, although he might have had a very good view of it happening, if the eyes were still attached to his head, which they weren't. But there you go. - Cullen.
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~*Mona*~ LOVE me, give me SOUL
"I think I just said I was smart there - I'm sorry about that." ~Bono
"This DEFINITELY needs a disclaimer before the post! Women,small children & Mona may die!" ~Fishy~
"I still believe that you're the Smut Messiah"
The Man Corral
U2 - BONO DONATES HIS EYES TO STARVING AFRICAN CHILD - 23rd August 2001
Bono, lead singer of Irish group, U2 and long time campaigner against Africa and poverty and orphans has today announced that he has donated his eyes to an African child. Bono, speaking from a hospital bed to a hospital bed told me that he had donated the eyes to silence critics of his humanitarian gestures, "You know, people just don't take all this Stop The Debt stuff seriously, they just think that I'm doing it to sell records and kinda, make me into some kind of Jesus figure, which I suppose in a way I am..." I told Bono that I was at the other side of his bed, he turned to me and continued, "I think that donating my eyes to an African child is something that no fucking music reporter or journalist or poxy Red Cross worker can say is an empty gesture, and it makes me feel better about myself aswell."
"You know, as a group, I think that U2 have moved on from needing to actually have eyes, I mean, It's all about the music now, not the image. This is like a symbolic symbol of the bands progression, in a metaphorical way I suppose, but I think people will know what I mean." Bono told me that his love of sun glasses would be of an advantage now he had only two gaping holes in his face. "The doctors were going to sew the holes up, but I told them no, I mean, why should I hide from the fact that I have no eyes?" Bono makes a good point and is optimistic about life without sight. "I think I've seen everything I need to see in this lifetime, you know: my wife's tits, my bank balance, starving African children, all that sunset shit, and er, porn." I asked Bono what his favourite visual memory was, "...hold on a minute... holy shit, what have I done, porn... lovely, lovely, what the f... no more porn, none, wha.. holy fucking Christ, no... no, no, no I can't see the porn, I can't... I CAN'T SEE THE PORN!" I stepped back as Bono thrust about furiously on his bed screaming for porn and knowing that, no matter what, he can never see lovely porn again. Or his wife either.
It is a tragic yet inspiring story, one of a man, a rock star man, who like some great martyr from heaven gave up his eyes so that a little African child could see. What makes this story all the more touching is the fact instead of being transplanted into the little blind African child, the bastard ate them. Bono has still not been told of the news, although he might have had a very good view of it happening, if the eyes were still attached to his head, which they weren't. But there you go. - Cullen.
------------------
~*Mona*~ LOVE me, give me SOUL
"I think I just said I was smart there - I'm sorry about that." ~Bono
"This DEFINITELY needs a disclaimer before the post! Women,small children & Mona may die!" ~Fishy~
"I still believe that you're the Smut Messiah"
The Man Corral
