Echo
War Child
Okay, here's what I came up with...I know there's not much for MacPhisto or the Fly, but you guys are welcome to add to it.
I'd like to thank the lovely and talented ScottPhisto for helping me with the Bachelors' introductions. I made him the host of the show; the Bachelorette remains nameless so we can all picture ourselves in such a fortunate position...
*LIGHTS COME UP*
SCOTTPHISTO: Hello and welcome to another episode of the Dating Game!
*APPLAUSE & CHEESY MUSIC*
SCOTTPHISTO: Let's meet our contestants: He's a demonic cat from the Netherworld who likes to call random government facilities from rock concerts. He enjoys martinis, sequins, and brimstone.....give it up for MaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaacPhisto!!!!
*APPLAUSE*
SCOTTPHISTO: He's a Dublin-born blonde bombshell who's a Harley-Davidson enthusiast! He'll take you for a ride...and then he'll show you his motorcycles! Here's Larry...Mullen....Junior!
*APPLAUSE*
SCOTTPHISTO: He'll give you the shirt off his back, and his sarong too, let's hear it for Adam Clayton!
*APPLAUSE*
SCOTTPHISTO: All he's got is a red guitar, three chords, and the truth. He enjoys leather, chess, and saving the world, here's Bono!
*APPLAUSE*
SCOTTPHISTO: He's the man with the shiniest crotch on the planet, give it up for the FLYYYYYYY!!!!
*APPLAUSE*
SCOTTPHISTO: Oh, and last we have the Ledge.
EDGE: Um, that's "Edge."
SCOTTPHISTO: Wedge, whatever. Let's play the game!
BACHELORETTE: Bachelor Number Four, if you were a drink, what kind of drink would you be?
BONO: I'd be a pint of Guinness, darlin'...dark, rich, and goes down easy.
LARRY: Don't forget "thick."
BACHELORETTE: Bachelor Number One, same question.
MACPHISTO: I'd be a Martini, my dearest, because I'm classy, my wit is always dry, and you can't resist gulping me down.
AUDIENCE: WOOOOOOOOOO!!
SCOTTPHISTO: Hey, don't look at me, folks, I didn't write that one.
BACHELORETTE: Bachelor Number Three, if you were President for a day, what laws would you try to pass?
ADAM: (Quickly hides bong behind back) What?! Me? I...em...let's see (rubs chin) what laws would I want to change...hmm...
*Adam uncrosses legs, "Basic Instinct"-style*
AUDIENCE: *GASP!*
*Adam re-crosses legs.*
ADAM: I think I'd just make a law outlawing trousers.
BACHELORETTE: *Ahem* Well, Bachelor Number Four...
LARRY: Oh, no...don't...
BACHELORETTE: Same question.
LARRY: Gah!
BONO: Well...To be interested in the rest of the world is necessary for all of us, and we need it. What I'm working toward on a daily basis is that next year's G8 summit will be a chance for the world to regroup on these issues. Even militarists recognize that this is a war you can't win with the usual ammunition. In our time an entire continent - Africa - has burst into flames, and we've stood around with watering cans. And then we wonder. We've just seen what happens when one nation, i.e., Afghanistan, implodes. What if the entire continent of Africa were to explode or implode? That is its present trajectory. You have 40 million AIDS orphans in the next ten years. The teachers are dying faster than you can train them. This is not just a problem unsustainable for Africa, but for the world. As somebody who's been working this groove for a while, to hear Colin Powell addressing these issues now gives me the greatest faith in the future. Perhaps out of this could come a newer, fairer world order, because it is clear that globalization does not work for most of the lives it impacts. The great thing about the United States is you have an expanding middle class. You want that for the rest of the world - the sense that they can get on the merry-go-round. When most people are left out of the equation, history tells us that revolt is around the corner...
SCOTTPHISTO: Okay, Bachelor Number Four, I think we get the point.
LARRY: I warned you! Didn't I warn you!
BACHELORETTE: This is a question for all the bachelors: If we were going to stay in and watch a video, what video would we rent?
LARRY: "Bang the Drum Slowly."
MACPHISTO: "Glitter."
BONO: "The Million Dollar Hotel."
EDGE: "The Naked Edge." *blush* Oh my God I can't believe I just said "The Naked Edge!" *blush* *Claps hand over mouth* Oh no I just said it again!
ADAM: Hm, well I'd have to say, then, "The Naked Adam."
BACHELORETTE: That's not a movie!
ADAM: Not yet...
BACHELORETTE: Bachelor Number Two.
LARRY: Yes.
BACHELORETTE: If you were given five thousand dollars to spend on me, what would you buy me?
*Suddenly one of Larry's buttons pops off, flies across the stage, and hits the Bachelorette in the eye.*
BACHELORETTE: OW!
LARRY: Um...safety goggles?
BACHELORETTE: Bachelor Number Three.
ADAM: Mmm. *Nods, eyes dart back and forth*
BACHELORETTE: What do your hobbies include?
ADAM: *Is silent*
BACHELORETTE: Bachelor Number Three?
ADAM: *won't open his mouth*
SCOTTPHISTO: We need an answer, Bachelor Number Three
BONO: (Laughs cruelly) Come on, Adam! Tell her! (He smacks Adam on the back. Adam wheezes and a plume of smoke billows out of his mouth)
ADAM: *Cough* Well, I uh...I have a little garden...
BACHELORETTE: Bachelor Number Six. If I were a stack of pancakes, what kind of syrup would you pour all over me?
EDGE: *Blush* Well, I...*bluuuush* I usually just have Rice Krispies...
BACHELORETTE: Bachelor Number Five, where would you take me on a romantic date?
THE FLY: Well, baby, I'd take you to the carnival, and we'd go through the Hall of Mirrors, that way we could BOTH spend all evening gazing at me!!
BACHELORETTE: Bachelor Number Three...Bachelor Number Three didn't you have a shirt on earlier?
ADAM: (Poker-faced) Nope.
BACHELORETTE: Are you sure?
ADAM: Yep.
BACHELORETTE: Hm. Okay. Bachelor Number Three, where would YOU take me on a romantic date?
ADAM: Well, first we'll go to the park and watch other people exercise. And then we'll go back to my castle, and I'll show you exactly why I'm going to be featured in the next issue of TAMALE Magazine.
BACHELORETTE: Bachelor Number Two, same question.
LARRY: Well, I'd take you to a vegetarian restaurant, 'cause I'm sick of having to give people my meat.
*Entire audience faints.*
*From some mysterious location Mona's voice can be heard.* WOOOOO YEAH!!!
EDGE: Did anyone else hear that?
BACHELORETTE: Bachelor Number Four. If you were an animal, what kind of animal would you be?
BONO: Well, I...
*Suddenly Mona falls out of the rafters and directly onto Bono.*
BONO: Oof!
MONA: (Shoves him into burlap bag and drags him offstage) Come on, Boner, we've got many lands to conquer...Your dressing room...the Green Room...the commissary...heh heh...
------------------
*Echo* The Proud Owner of Animatronic Edge!
"Romance is dead. Turns out all this time someone had just put sunglasses
on it and propped it up in a chair." -James "Kibo" Parry
"Are you implying that I'm an internet slut?" -Bono
Bono-Man! An Epic Superhero Adventure http://www.geocities.com/bonogoestovegas
The Official PLEBA Glossary: Replacing Crippling Confusion With Mere Disorientation!
http://www.vodkatea.com/g/glossary.asp?gid=165
I'd like to thank the lovely and talented ScottPhisto for helping me with the Bachelors' introductions. I made him the host of the show; the Bachelorette remains nameless so we can all picture ourselves in such a fortunate position...
*LIGHTS COME UP*
SCOTTPHISTO: Hello and welcome to another episode of the Dating Game!
*APPLAUSE & CHEESY MUSIC*
SCOTTPHISTO: Let's meet our contestants: He's a demonic cat from the Netherworld who likes to call random government facilities from rock concerts. He enjoys martinis, sequins, and brimstone.....give it up for MaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaacPhisto!!!!
*APPLAUSE*
SCOTTPHISTO: He's a Dublin-born blonde bombshell who's a Harley-Davidson enthusiast! He'll take you for a ride...and then he'll show you his motorcycles! Here's Larry...Mullen....Junior!
*APPLAUSE*
SCOTTPHISTO: He'll give you the shirt off his back, and his sarong too, let's hear it for Adam Clayton!
*APPLAUSE*
SCOTTPHISTO: All he's got is a red guitar, three chords, and the truth. He enjoys leather, chess, and saving the world, here's Bono!
*APPLAUSE*
SCOTTPHISTO: He's the man with the shiniest crotch on the planet, give it up for the FLYYYYYYY!!!!
*APPLAUSE*
SCOTTPHISTO: Oh, and last we have the Ledge.
EDGE: Um, that's "Edge."
SCOTTPHISTO: Wedge, whatever. Let's play the game!
BACHELORETTE: Bachelor Number Four, if you were a drink, what kind of drink would you be?
BONO: I'd be a pint of Guinness, darlin'...dark, rich, and goes down easy.
LARRY: Don't forget "thick."
BACHELORETTE: Bachelor Number One, same question.
MACPHISTO: I'd be a Martini, my dearest, because I'm classy, my wit is always dry, and you can't resist gulping me down.
AUDIENCE: WOOOOOOOOOO!!
SCOTTPHISTO: Hey, don't look at me, folks, I didn't write that one.
BACHELORETTE: Bachelor Number Three, if you were President for a day, what laws would you try to pass?
ADAM: (Quickly hides bong behind back) What?! Me? I...em...let's see (rubs chin) what laws would I want to change...hmm...
*Adam uncrosses legs, "Basic Instinct"-style*
AUDIENCE: *GASP!*
*Adam re-crosses legs.*
ADAM: I think I'd just make a law outlawing trousers.
BACHELORETTE: *Ahem* Well, Bachelor Number Four...
LARRY: Oh, no...don't...
BACHELORETTE: Same question.
LARRY: Gah!
BONO: Well...To be interested in the rest of the world is necessary for all of us, and we need it. What I'm working toward on a daily basis is that next year's G8 summit will be a chance for the world to regroup on these issues. Even militarists recognize that this is a war you can't win with the usual ammunition. In our time an entire continent - Africa - has burst into flames, and we've stood around with watering cans. And then we wonder. We've just seen what happens when one nation, i.e., Afghanistan, implodes. What if the entire continent of Africa were to explode or implode? That is its present trajectory. You have 40 million AIDS orphans in the next ten years. The teachers are dying faster than you can train them. This is not just a problem unsustainable for Africa, but for the world. As somebody who's been working this groove for a while, to hear Colin Powell addressing these issues now gives me the greatest faith in the future. Perhaps out of this could come a newer, fairer world order, because it is clear that globalization does not work for most of the lives it impacts. The great thing about the United States is you have an expanding middle class. You want that for the rest of the world - the sense that they can get on the merry-go-round. When most people are left out of the equation, history tells us that revolt is around the corner...
SCOTTPHISTO: Okay, Bachelor Number Four, I think we get the point.
LARRY: I warned you! Didn't I warn you!
BACHELORETTE: This is a question for all the bachelors: If we were going to stay in and watch a video, what video would we rent?
LARRY: "Bang the Drum Slowly."
MACPHISTO: "Glitter."
BONO: "The Million Dollar Hotel."
EDGE: "The Naked Edge." *blush* Oh my God I can't believe I just said "The Naked Edge!" *blush* *Claps hand over mouth* Oh no I just said it again!
ADAM: Hm, well I'd have to say, then, "The Naked Adam."
BACHELORETTE: That's not a movie!
ADAM: Not yet...
BACHELORETTE: Bachelor Number Two.
LARRY: Yes.
BACHELORETTE: If you were given five thousand dollars to spend on me, what would you buy me?
*Suddenly one of Larry's buttons pops off, flies across the stage, and hits the Bachelorette in the eye.*
BACHELORETTE: OW!
LARRY: Um...safety goggles?
BACHELORETTE: Bachelor Number Three.
ADAM: Mmm. *Nods, eyes dart back and forth*
BACHELORETTE: What do your hobbies include?
ADAM: *Is silent*
BACHELORETTE: Bachelor Number Three?
ADAM: *won't open his mouth*
SCOTTPHISTO: We need an answer, Bachelor Number Three
BONO: (Laughs cruelly) Come on, Adam! Tell her! (He smacks Adam on the back. Adam wheezes and a plume of smoke billows out of his mouth)
ADAM: *Cough* Well, I uh...I have a little garden...
BACHELORETTE: Bachelor Number Six. If I were a stack of pancakes, what kind of syrup would you pour all over me?
EDGE: *Blush* Well, I...*bluuuush* I usually just have Rice Krispies...
BACHELORETTE: Bachelor Number Five, where would you take me on a romantic date?
THE FLY: Well, baby, I'd take you to the carnival, and we'd go through the Hall of Mirrors, that way we could BOTH spend all evening gazing at me!!
BACHELORETTE: Bachelor Number Three...Bachelor Number Three didn't you have a shirt on earlier?
ADAM: (Poker-faced) Nope.
BACHELORETTE: Are you sure?
ADAM: Yep.
BACHELORETTE: Hm. Okay. Bachelor Number Three, where would YOU take me on a romantic date?
ADAM: Well, first we'll go to the park and watch other people exercise. And then we'll go back to my castle, and I'll show you exactly why I'm going to be featured in the next issue of TAMALE Magazine.
BACHELORETTE: Bachelor Number Two, same question.
LARRY: Well, I'd take you to a vegetarian restaurant, 'cause I'm sick of having to give people my meat.
*Entire audience faints.*
*From some mysterious location Mona's voice can be heard.* WOOOOO YEAH!!!
EDGE: Did anyone else hear that?
BACHELORETTE: Bachelor Number Four. If you were an animal, what kind of animal would you be?
BONO: Well, I...
*Suddenly Mona falls out of the rafters and directly onto Bono.*
BONO: Oof!
MONA: (Shoves him into burlap bag and drags him offstage) Come on, Boner, we've got many lands to conquer...Your dressing room...the Green Room...the commissary...heh heh...
------------------
*Echo* The Proud Owner of Animatronic Edge!
"Romance is dead. Turns out all this time someone had just put sunglasses
on it and propped it up in a chair." -James "Kibo" Parry
"Are you implying that I'm an internet slut?" -Bono
Bono-Man! An Epic Superhero Adventure http://www.geocities.com/bonogoestovegas
The Official PLEBA Glossary: Replacing Crippling Confusion With Mere Disorientation!
http://www.vodkatea.com/g/glossary.asp?gid=165
