U2 jokes, no light bulbs allowed!

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Jenni_Anne

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Okay, so we've all heard the one about Bono and the light-bulb... e.g. How many members of U2 does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One. Bono holds the light bulb and the world revolves around him!

:lol: :laugh: :rolleyes: but has anyone got any others to donate? I have a few...

Larry is tinkering around with his motorbike while Bono goes out for a night on the tiles.
When Bono comes back, Larry is still sitting there, covered in grease, fiddling with something.
"What's the matter, Larry?" Bono asked.
"Piston broke," came the reply.
"Yeah, sho am I..." mumbled Bono.

~*~*~*~

At the studio, Bono and Adam are having a knowledge contest.
"Hey, Adam," smirks Bono, "Let's put some money on this."
"How much would you say, Bono?"
"Well, if one of us can't answer the others question, he has to pay... 10 quid."
"Come now," said Adam, "You were top of the grade at school. How about if I can't answer your questions, I pay you 5 and if you can't answer mine, you pay me 10?"
Bono thought about it, and decided that since he was much smarter than Adam, it wouldn't be that much of a loss, and agreed.
"I'll go first," said Adam, smirking. "What has sixty legs and flies backwards shrieking?"
Bono thought about this long and hard, but to no avail.
"I don't know," he said finally, putting down 10 pounds, "What *does* have sixty legs and flies backwards shrieking?"
Adam pushed back five of the coins. "I don't know either, Bono, I made it up. But here's your money."
 
Ok, here's a good one...........................




One time Stephanie was at a concert and she grabbed Bono's arse.

BWAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!!:evil: :macdevil: :mac:



*runs out of thread*
 
:rolleyes: That's fanfiction *BOOMCHAA!* :mac:

I didn't get those jokes. :huh: But it's nothing personal, I never get jokes. :tsk:
 
Jenni_Anne said:
Okay, so we've all heard the one about Bono and the light-bulb... e.g. How many members of U2 does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One. Bono holds the light bulb and the world revolves around him!

:lol: :laugh: :rolleyes: but has anyone got any others to donate? I have a few...

Larry is tinkering around with his motorbike while Bono goes out for a night on the tiles.
When Bono comes back, Larry is still sitting there, covered in grease, fiddling with something.
"What's the matter, Larry?" Bono asked.
"Piston broke," came the reply.
"Yeah, sho am I..." mumbled Bono.

~*~*~*~

:lol: I like that one! I don't know any U2 jokes to tell!
 
I think I saw this on enjoyU2.com...

Bono opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he had died.
He quickly phoned Adam. "Did you see the paper?" asked Bono. "They say I died!"
"Yes, I saw it!" Adam replied. "Where are you calling from?"

It's kind of dumb, but little things make me laugh...
 
Schmeg said:
I think I saw this on enjoyU2.com...

Bono opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he had died.
He quickly phoned Adam. "Did you see the paper?" asked Bono. "They say I died!"
"Yes, I saw it!" Adam replied. "Where are you calling from?"

It's kind of dumb, but little things make me laugh...

I didn't get that at first. I think I read it wrong, but then...:lmao:
 
flaming june said:

I didn't get those jokes. :huh: But it's nothing personal, I never get jokes. :tsk:
LMFAO

That is one of the funniest jokes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



LMAO
 
Dunno if this qualifies as a joke or if it was just my friend making a quip, but from back in the '80s...

"Didja hear? Bono went out for a walk and got hit by a yacht."

**crickets chirping**

Uh ... because he was, um, walking on water.

**more crickets**

Geddit?

**coughing**

Okay, I'll just go then.

:sexywink:
 
I heard this joke a long time ago and I know I posted it here...but I'll post it again:



In many years from now Paul McCartney dies :( . Anyway he goes to heaven where he is greeted by St. Peter. St. Peter gives him a tour around heaven and explains how the afterlife is.
St. Peter then shows Paul to your average sized house with a small flag that says "The Beatles" on it. Paul seems kind of disappointed, since his house on Earth was much grander. However, he couldn't really complain because Heaven is such a great place.
So a few year pass and Paul is having a great time in heaven. One day his is walking around and sees this enormous house. On the top of the house are these giant flags that say U2 on them, and there are topiaries in honor of the members. All the gardeners are wearing U2 T-Shirts, and U2 music is being blasted from large speakers outside the house.
Outraged, Paul finds St. Peter and says, "Hey, that is not fair, I revolutionized music, I changed pop culture. How is it that Bono gets a big house and I get a small one. If it weren't for me, there would probably be no Bono!!!!" St. Peter laughs and says, "No, my son, Bono isn't dead. That was God's house you passed."
 
well my english is awful so i will try to post the joke as good as i can

they were a priest, a seated politician and Bono in a bank, the politician said to have the cellular telephone of God the priest and the politician after awhile decided to call to God mark the telephone and the cel phone of bono begins to sound

sorry for my bad english!
 
Great joke, Daisy. :lol:

voxxie said:
well my english is awful so i will try to post the joke as good as i can

they were a priest, a seated politician and Bono in a bank, the politician said to have the cellular telephone of God the priest and the politician after awhile decided to call to God mark the telephone and the cel phone of bono begins to sound

sorry for my bad english!

That's a great joke, Voxxie, I've heard it before. You did a great job at translating the majority of it. But the entire version I've heard is:

A bishop, a politician, and Bono are sitting on a boat. The bishop and the politician are comparing stories as to which one of them has better connections. The politician says, "Yeah, well I have the president of the United States on speed dial." To prove his point, the politician takes out his cellphone and calls up the president. "Well," the bishop says, "I have God on speed dial." To prove his point, the bishop takes out his cell phone and calls up God.

Bono's cell phone rings. :D
 
I just checked out enjoyu2.com and read all their jokes--super funny! Different lightbulb jokes and this one (supposedly said by one of Bono's kids):
"Mum, Dad's hanging on the chandelier, waving the bedsheet again. He says it's not a rebel song."
BTW, I've read that obituary joke several times and I still don't get it. *embarassed*
 
This is a different version of a lightbulb joke...

How many members of U2 does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: All 4.

Bono writes a song asking for deliverance from the dark.
Larry says it doesn't matter whether it's light or dark. He's the drummer, and chicks dig him.
Adam wonders if it's worth getting naked if no one can see him
And Edge, being the mechanical genius in the group, watches the other three, shakes his head and changes the lightbulb.

:D

Lame, ok. But it's all I got. ;)

~Bona
 
Bonavoix said:
This is a different version of a lightbulb joke...

How many members of U2 does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: All 4.

Bono writes a song asking for deliverance from the dark.
Larry says it doesn't matter whether it's light or dark. He's the drummer, and chicks dig him.
Adam wonders if it's worth getting naked if no one can see him
And Edge, being the mechanical genius in the group, watches the other three, shakes his head and changes the lightbulb.

:D

Lame, ok. But it's all I got. ;)

~Bona

:lmao: that is soo funny. And so catered to who u2 is..!! i love it
 
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