sparkys girl
Refugee
I found these on this great website today! They are so funny I thought I'd share....
ONE
A musician dies and goes to heaven. He meets Jimi Hendrix, Elvis Presley, John Lennon - and then sees Bono flying by. "Hey," the musician says, "I didn't know Bono was dead!" "He's not," Elvis replies, "Thats God - He likes to pretend He's Bono!"
TWO
One day an Englishman, an American, and an Irish man walked into a pub together. They proceeded to each buy a pint of Guiness. Just as they were about to enjoy their beverage three flies landed in each of their pints.The Englishman pushed his beer away from him in disgust. The American fished the offending fly out of his beer and continued drinking it as if nothing had happened. The Irish man picked the fly out of his drink and started shaking it over the pint, yelling, "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT YOU BASTARD!!!!"
THREE
It is the year 2028, thirty years after Popmart has closed it's doors. The Edge walks into a bar in Dublin, orders four pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders four more.
The bartender asks him, "You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it; it would taste better if you bought one at a time." The Edge replies, "Well, you see, since Bono's on Pluto, Adam's on Venus, and Larry's on Mars, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together." The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there. Edge becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way: he orders four pints and drinks them in turn.
One day, he comes in and orders three pints. All the other regulars notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss." Edge looks confused for a moment, then a light dawns in his eye and he laughs. "Oh, no." he says, "Everyone's fine. I've just quit drinking." Thanks to Brigitte.
------------------
"They'll think we've lightened up. Which is totally untrue...we're miserable bastards." - Bono
*+*MaRiA*+*
She is the dreamer....she's imagination
ONE
A musician dies and goes to heaven. He meets Jimi Hendrix, Elvis Presley, John Lennon - and then sees Bono flying by. "Hey," the musician says, "I didn't know Bono was dead!" "He's not," Elvis replies, "Thats God - He likes to pretend He's Bono!"
TWO
One day an Englishman, an American, and an Irish man walked into a pub together. They proceeded to each buy a pint of Guiness. Just as they were about to enjoy their beverage three flies landed in each of their pints.The Englishman pushed his beer away from him in disgust. The American fished the offending fly out of his beer and continued drinking it as if nothing had happened. The Irish man picked the fly out of his drink and started shaking it over the pint, yelling, "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT YOU BASTARD!!!!"
THREE
It is the year 2028, thirty years after Popmart has closed it's doors. The Edge walks into a bar in Dublin, orders four pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders four more.
The bartender asks him, "You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it; it would taste better if you bought one at a time." The Edge replies, "Well, you see, since Bono's on Pluto, Adam's on Venus, and Larry's on Mars, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together." The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there. Edge becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way: he orders four pints and drinks them in turn.
One day, he comes in and orders three pints. All the other regulars notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss." Edge looks confused for a moment, then a light dawns in his eye and he laughs. "Oh, no." he says, "Everyone's fine. I've just quit drinking." Thanks to Brigitte.
------------------
"They'll think we've lightened up. Which is totally untrue...we're miserable bastards." - Bono
*+*MaRiA*+*
She is the dreamer....she's imagination
