Touch pt 4

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Sad_Girl

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Disclaimer: Absolutely not true. Just a fun little fantasy inspired by but in no way meant to represent the true actions/feelings of any person(s) mentioned herein.

.reader discretion is advised; adult themes

Feels Like Home
(As performed by Chantal Kreviazuk)
There's something in your eyes
Makes me wanna lose my self,
Makes me wanna lose myself in your heart,
There's something in your voice
That makes my heart beat fast
Hope this feeling lasts
For the rest of my life


She stared into her suitcase with a sinking feeling in her stomach. What the hell was she supposed to wear on a date? It had been years since she’d been on a date at all, and never a date like this one. The boys she’d dated when she was a teenager had thought dinner at the local dairy stop and a rented movie was a grand date. The man who’d become her husband had thought so too, only he would tell her how fat the food at the dairy stop would make her and then rent whatever he pleased regardless of her opinion.

They were in Seattle, a trendy city as far as she was concerned, with far more possibilities than Ceili could even imagine as she tried to figure out what to wear. Most of her wardrobe consisted of loose fitting scrub tops, which suited her well when she was working. They allowed for freedom of movement and she didn’t have to worry about choosing which one because they were all either green or blue. She’d thought it was a great idea, at the time. Now she cursed herself as a real idiot.

It was only five o’clock in the afternoon, but Larry had told her to skip lunch because he wanted to take her out to an early dinner, before the show. It was going to be more than a week before they actually had a rare full night off, and he didn’t want to wait.

“I promise, I’ll take you on a proper date then, this is just … dinner.” He’d said with a shrug, his hands stuffed in his pockets in such a boyish manner she’d been absolutely unable to resist. *Dinner.* She thought. *Just Dinner* It sounded pretty casual. She had no idea what to expect, she like a fish out of water. She’d never known a man like Larry in her life. Finally she threw on her favorite jeans, the pair of cute open toe sandals she had not yet broken in and had wondered why she’d even bothered buying, and a black sleeveless turtle-neck shirt. Casual, but not cheap, she thought as she looked in the mirror.

She carefully applied a little eye shadow and some blush. Then she washed it off again. She started over on her make up three times before she decided it was ok, wasting so much time that she hadn’t yet done anything to her hair when he knocked on her door.

“Oh, shit!’ She panicked, tossing aside her toiletries and grabbing for her brush which escaped her grasp twice, making her chase after it as it skidded across the floor. Another knock, this one a bit louder. “Almost ready!” She called, finally catching the elusive brush and running it through her hair and deciding it was a hopeless cause. Her hair had always been obstinate, wavy in some places and dead straight in others, with the occasional full blown curl thrown in. She tossed aside the useless brush and raked her hands through the mess. She drew in a deep breath to steel herself and opened the door.

He was leaning against the door frame in an oh-so-casual pose which was too casual not to be on purpose, looking like the cliché’ of every fathers worst nightmare. He smiled crookedly at her, and she was relieved to see that he wore a simple button down white shirt and a pair of jeans. A pair of very nicely filled out jeans, she thought as her eyes washed over his square hips and long legs appreciatively. She had never known the type of men who wore jewelry, but damn did it look right on him, she thought as her eyes came back up to his face and noticed the earrings and necklace.

“What?” He asked, his silvery blue eyes sparkling. She started a bit, her eyes widening as she realized she’d been staring. Her cheeks flushed hot.

“I was just… thinking.” She replied with a little shrug.

“Thinking what?” He asked, arching a blonde eyebrow playfully.

“I was thinking…” she started, smiling so hard her cheeks hurt. Finally she decided she might as well spit it out, since she was probably going to be thinking it all night. “That I had never gone on a date with a man who was prettier than I was before.” Larry laughed so hard at this that his shoulders shook, he lowered his head, hiding his face behind one ring clad hand.

“Well, I could argue the facts on that. But I think I’ll just take the compliment gracefully, this time.” He told her, stepping back into the hallway and picking up the two helmets which sat on the floor there. He held one out to her and she looked at it as if he were the strangest thing she’d ever seen. “What’s wrong?” He asked, his smile fading as she continued to stare.

“That…” she started, shifting her weight and pursing her lips nervously, “That looks like a motorcycle helmet.” She finally said.

“Well would you look at that, so it is!” He exclaimed sarcastically. “I guess it’s a good thing, since my Harley’s waiting in the garage.”

“I’ve never ridden on a motorcycle before.” She told him, and his already playful smile broadened quickly.

“Don’t worry.” He told her with a wink. “I’ll be doin’ all the work. All you gotta do is hold on t’me and enjoy the ride.” She thought her face must be as red as her hair by now, she was blushing so furiously. As if she hadn’t been nervous about riding the bike, now she was thinking of it as a metaphor for the other thing she’d been so nervously thinking about. She accepted the helmet and fell into step beside him, which was no small task with his long legs.

“You look great, by the way.” He told her, casting a sideways glance in her direction. Her hair was the kind of casual messy that made him think of what it must look like after having a good tumble between the sheets. He realized suddenly that she wore almost no jewelry whatsoever, just a simple gold chain with a crucifix around her neck and tiny gold hoop earrings. He was not only wearing more jewelry than she was, but he was pretty certain he had more gel in his hair than she did, despite the fact that she had three times as much hair in length.

“Thanks.” She told him, rolling her eyes. She was not accustomed to receiving compliments, they made her a little uncomfortable even.

“So where are we going?” She asked as they found their way to the sub-level garage where Larry’s motorcycle waited. She’d heard that he tended to ride from gig to gig, but as yet had not seen the infamous bike. She hadn’t even considered it as a part of their date.

“What do you like to eat?” He asked as they reached the dreaded machine and he straddled it casually, bracing it with one strong leg and gesturing for her to climb on. She took his hand and managed to straddle the bike without falling on her face, somehow.

“Nothing fancy.” She told him, slipping on her helmet and tightening the chin strap.

“Pizza it is.” He replied with a smile, and she nodded gratefully. “Hold on!” he told her once he had his helmet and sunglasses on. The bike roared to life and as it lurched forward, she grabbed him tightly around the waist, pressing herself up against his back and holding on for dear life.

**********************************************************************

“Where did you grow up?” Larry asked once they were seated in a corner booth at a tiny little Italian eatery. It was dimly lit, even though it was the middle of the afternoon, and the jukebox seemed to be stocked only with Sinatra and friends CD’s. It was a charming atmosphere, and the smells coming from the kitchen made Ceili’s stomach grumble in anticipation. They had quickly fallen into a back-and-forth conversation, asking each other questions. The rules, Larry had informed her when she’d jokingly asked for some, were ‘anything goes.’ So far, anything consisted of the basics. How old are you, are you happy with your job, what’s your middle name and so on.

“Well, I was born and raised on my parent’s dairy farm in Wisconsin. The closest town was Casco. I think the population was like a thousand people or less. Pretty tiny.” She told him. “We weren’t too terribly far from Green Bay, that’s the only city most people know of from Wisconsin, usually.” She took a long drink from her iced tea. “What about you?”

“What about me?”

“Where did you grow up? I mean, I know Ireland but…” She shrugged. He smiled at her suspiciously.

“You don’t know a damned thing about us, do you?” He asked.

“Hey, it’s my turn to ask questions!”

“Seriously, you didn’t know we were from Dublin?” he asked and she shook her head. “Have you ever listened to any of our music?”

“Sure. I mean, I knew who you were when I interviewed for the job. How could I have not heard something, here or there.”

“Name one of our songs. One song over our entire career, that’s more than twenty years and fourteen albums, or even solo and film projects. One song.” He demanded playfully.

“Well there’s… oh, that one… the one that goes… Oh, crap I don’t know.” She finally admitted, hiding her face in her hands. He chuckled at her and shook his head in disbelief.

“What kind of music do you listen to?” He asked.

“I’m embarrassed.” She told him, peeking out from behind her fingers. He sat back and waited, arms crossed over his chest. Finally she sighed and dropped her hands back to the table. “Mostly I just listen to Country music.” She admitted, nervously tearing her paper napkin into little strips. “And to oldies, you know the type of stuff that was old before I was even born.”

“There’s nothing wrong with that.” He told her. “I worked with Emmylou Harris on some of her stuff.”

“Really?” she asked, and he laughed at the look on her face as she recognized the name.

“Yeah. And I have special place in my heart for Elvis, too.” He informed her.

“I can believe that.” She replied as the waiter returned with their order. They talked about childhood, about Larry’s Labradors JJ who had died, and Missy. She told him about the strange things kids would find to entertain themselves when they lived on a farm.

They talked about anything under the sun. She particularly loved to watch him talk about things which mattered to him. When he became enthusiastic, his facial expressions and hand gestures were dramatic. Dinner would normally not have taken more than forty five minutes, but they talked so much that it lasted twice that time. Larry cursed under his breath when he saw the time.

“I need to get to the arena.” He informed her as he stood and dropped a fifty dollar bill on the table. He collected his helmet and quickly dialed his mobile phone. Ceili listened as he spoke briefly to someone, informing them that he would be arriving at the stadium on his bike and would need security to let him in. “Looks like you get to see your first show tonight.” He told her as they mounted the bike once more. “Hope that’s ok.”

“Well, you know I did have other plans…” she told him with a playful sigh. Security was waiting to escort them into Key Arena, and as they climbed off the bike Ceili heard the crowd inside beginning to clamor already. Several small groups of fans were gathered outside still, and when they recognized the drummer they hurried to try and get his attention. He smiled politely, waved and nodded in the direction of the barricades.

Ceili smiled to herself at the tug of pride she felt, to be with this man whom so many wanted. As he waved to the gathering crowd, he reached back behind himself and grabbed her hand, guiding her into the arena with him. She heard the click and whir of several cameras snapping photos of the moment. After that, everything happened so quickly, it was a blur. She was mesmerized, watching the show. They really were incredible entertainers, she realized. Their fans sure loved them, too.

One fan near the stage had brought Larry a present of some sort, some Elvis related memorabilia from what she could tell. He presented the girl with a set of drumsticks, leaning down to hear what she was trying to say. Ceili’s eyebrows raised as the girl grabbed hold of him and kissed him (on the cheek because Larry saw it coming and turned slightly), making Larry smile broadly and, Ceili thought, even blush a little.

She couldn’t help but think that he could have his pick of the thousands of women in the arena tonight, but she was the one he was going back to the hotel with. She was the one he’d promised to see after the show. She was the one with butterflies in her stomach at the thought of where the night might lead.

After the show everyone was gathering in one of the rather posh hotel rooms, relaxing as only a group of rock and rollers could. Ceili was seated on an overstuffed couch near the floor to ceiling windows, looking out at the city lights, when he entered the room looking for her immediately. He was freshly showered, moisture still clinging to his muscular arms in places, his hair damp. He hadn’t bothered with a shirt or shoes, his bare chest and feet a sign that he was comfortable with the people he would be around. His jeans seemed to fit even better now than before, Ceili thought, her heart fluttering at the sight.

“Hey.” He greeted her with a smile, plopping down next to her and sprawling out on the couch. “Thanks for waiting for me.”

“It was worth it.” She told him, her eyes washing over him greedily. She could hardly believe she’d said it a out loud. She probably wouldn’t have if she hadn’t already finished her second beer. He was pleasantly surprised by her forward comment, smirking in response. He knew how damned sexy he was, he’d been told since he hit puberty. There was a difference between cockiness and confidence. Cockiness came with a lot of unsubstantiated swagger, but that was not Larry. He was confident in himself, and rightly so. He could even be modest at times.

He took the bottle from her hand and helped himself to a long drink in an intimate gesture. He leaned back into one corner of the sofa and gestured for her to come closer. His feet were propped up on the coffee table in front of them, leaving room for her to squeeze in beside him, if she didn’t mind being pressed up against his side. She scooted over beside him and he wrapped a well toned arm around her as she rested her head against his shoulder.

“So where were we?” He asked, bringing them back to their game from earlier.

“Do you remember the first girl you ever kissed?” She asked, gazing up at him from her cozy spot.

“Of course. I was twelve. How about you?”

“I was fourteen.” She told him.

“How old were you when you lost your virginity?” He asked, and she pushed herself up to face him.

“Getting a little personal there.” She teased.

“Anything goes.” He told her, his voice still playful but the timbre low enough she could feel the dynamics between them shifting from friendly to intimate.

“I was fifteen.” She told him, her gray eyes growing distant and sad. He didn’t press her on the issue.

“Me too.” He said, taking another long drink of her beer. “How many lovers?” He asked, and she hid her face against his chest shyly.

“I think I see a pattern forming.” She told him, making him laugh. “Two.” She replied after it became clear he was waiting for her answer. They continued this pattern for awhile, drinking and getting bolder with each question. As they talked, she traced the tattoo on his arm with the tip of her finger, then ran her hand over his chest. He was whispering his questions in her ear, trying with each one to make her blush more. The chemistry between them crackled like electricity, and she realized she was not breathing at all. She laughed nervously, making him smile too.

“I’ve never known a man like you.” She told him softly, nudging his nose with her own. He closed the distance between them finally, his broad mouth against hers. She let out a low moan as he traced her lips with the tip of his tongue, sending shivers through her. She sank backwards against the couch as he slid down to lay beside her, pinning her between himself and the back of the sofa. She could imagine no better place to be at that moment. Her hand slid up into his hair, her fingers running through it and making him moan this time. They sank into each other, the kiss deepening slowly.

One kiss turned into a series of shorter, sloppier kisses on gasping breaths. His tongue slid into her mouth teasingly, making her want more but never satisfying that desire. Her back was arching off the couch as she leaned toward him, chasing him as he retreated playfully. Finally, her eyes fluttered open to gaze up at him, the need shining brightly in them. He smiled intimately at her before his eyes drifted shut and he leaned in and kissed her with all the passion he’d been withholding. They clung to each other tightly, her hands grasping his bare shoulders hard enough to make white impressions in the skin.

She gasped desperately for air as the kiss broke, and Larry rested his head against the side of hers. He was nearly panting, too, she realized. The very idea that she could affect him so much was intoxicating. It had made her completely forget where they were, and that they were not alone. It was the sound of people talking and laughing across the room which finally broke the enchantment of the moment, reality intruding rudely.

He let out a deep sigh which turned into a groan before becoming a chuckle. She was blushing again, wishing she could disappear into the couch rather than get up and have to face the small group which was still gathered there. He sat up and raked his hand through his hair, composing himself. He glanced around the room to see that they were being ignored. Or, at least, left alone. He stood and offered her a hand up, then led her out of the room silently. He was sure to hear about it from Bono or Adam tomorrow, but he didn’t care at this point. He was acting like a teenager because he felt like one.

When they reached her door, she leaned back against it with his arms against the door on either side of her, and he kissed her again, sliding his kisses down to her neck and making her knees tremble. He nipped at her earlobe and breathed into her ear.

“You make me feel like I’m eighteen years old.” He told her, drawing her tightly up against him to emphasize his meaning. She ‘mmm’ed against his mouth in surprise but didn’t pull away. She reached behind herself and turned the doorknob, sending them stumbling into the dark room. He kicked the door closed as he scooped her up into his arms and carried her to the bed, his mouth on hers the entire time.

A few moments of deep kisses and heated caresses later, however, an old familiar panic began to creep up inside of her. Ceili fought it off, but the harder she fought the panic the more she thought about it and the more she thought about it the worse the fear became. It was as his hand found the bare skin of her belly where her shirt had come untucked that she finally gave in to the panic. She grabbed his hand and stopped it in it’s course, her entire body becoming tense beneath him.

“Ceili?” he asked, propping himself up to put a little distance between them.

“I… I’m sorry. It’s just… getting a little intense.” She mumbled, biting her lip nervously.

“Is that a bad thing?” he tried to joke. She wriggled out from under him and stood to begin pacing the floor. She ran a hand through her hair anxiously. “Ceili?” he asked again, baffled by her sudden change.

“I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry, Larry but I can’t do this.” She told him, and he could hear the tears threatening in her voice.

“That’s ok.” He told her, springing to his feet and gathering her up in his arms. “Hey, I’m sorry. I was being pushy.” He said.

“No, no… you weren’t. You’re so sweet, and I wanted to… God I wanted to!” she told him, wrapping her arms around his waist. “I just… I get scared sometimes.” She told him, and he held her, stroking her hair and waited for her to continue. “I can’t believe I’m telling you this, and I know I shouldn’t use it like an excuse. I… when I was fifteen, I was raped by my boyfriend.”

“Oh, Ceili.” He mumbled against her hair.

“I know it’s no excuse and I’m sorry I can’t…” her voice drifted off, and Larry took her by the shoulders and held her at arms length.

“You have nothing to apologize for. Listen to me. Nothing!” he told her quietly but firmly. Even in the dark room, she could see those silvery blue eyes gazing down at her. They were full of genuine concern.

“I’m sorry I wasted your time.” She told him, and he scowled.

“What the hell kind of men have you been dating?” he asked her as he gathered her up into his arms again. She laughed slightly, although a tear spilled over from one eye at the same time. “Do you want me to leave?” He asked after awhile, and she shook her head.

“No. Unless that’s what you want.” She told him. He kissed the top of her head before turning back and laying down on the bed. He kept his hands folded beneath his head, and she crawled over next to him, draping one arm over his stomach and resting her head against his chest. The steady rhythm of his heart was the most beautiful music she’d ever heard.

“If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?” He asked, falling back to the game which had served them so well.

“Right here.” She told him. “Just like this.”

“Not what I meant.” He laughed.

“Oh, ok…” she sighed, relaxing as they talked about everything under the sun.
 
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