EIGHTY-FOUR
BonaPhisto arrives in Hell, and does her best to blend in as well as possible, trying to cope with the heat and blood everywhere. She passes a room with a table in the center. Knowing all too well what that table is used for she cringes, and is horrified even further when she sees MacPhisto's image cast upon the wall, her own image with it, frozen in what appears to be mid-kiss. She freezes as she watches the image change until she's watching herself having mad, raging sex with MacPhisto on the basement floor. The image pauses again as MacPhisto is in mid-thrust, his tongue lapping at the space between her collar bones, her head is thrown back onto the cement floor, back arched and mouth wide open in a cry of ecstasy. BonaPhisto watches all of this in horror, knowing full well that this exact scene has happened millions of times over the past three thousand years, but it never occurred tonight. She begins to tremble as she realizes exactly what they've done to Bluey. No doubt she's been transformed already. BonaPhisto comes to her senses and runs off toward a specific office, trying desperately to figure out how to repair the incredible damage done. She comes to Screwtape's door and knocks hard. There is no answer, and BonaPhisto breaks her way in. Screwtape looks up from his desk in surprise.
"Well, my dear Bona. I thought you'd gone human for the little drummer boy?"
"Fuck you. Where's Bluey? What did you do to her?"
"Well I think you know that all too well."
"Where is she?"
"With the Father Below, hating you and hating your precious Mackie-poo." He laughs.
BonaPhisto turns to run out of the room but Screwtape grabs her and pins her against the wall. She struggles to free herself, but Screwtape presses himself full against her and she does her best to kick him, anything she can do to free herself from his grasp. He suddenly looks down and gasps.
"What's this now? You're expecting the little Elvis-wannabe drummer's BABY?! Oh, that's just too much."
"You lied to her! This is all designed to break her!"
"That's true. The Father admires her work and could use her around here..."
"NO!"
Screwtape moves to kiss her and she cannot do anything about it. She can't move and just as he's unzipping his pants, he's thrown off of her and onto the floor again. Shocked, BonaPhisto looks up and there stands BluePhisto, now a gorgeous devil. BluePhisto has Screwtape pinned to the floor of his office.
"Bluey! Thank god I found you..."
"Fuck you."
"Bluey please... it was fabricated!"
"You've always been after him..."
BonaPhisto tries to point out her transformation. "Bluey, look at me! What am I?"
"Besides a lying bitch? Nothing to me anymore. Now leave before I change my mind and decide to kill you again."
BonaPhisto runs out of the room, physically injured and in tears and finds a staircase. She rushes up and up and up until she feels familiar red carpeting beneath her feet, and she runs down the hallways until she bursts into the bedroom and collapses to the floor, unconscious.
EIGHTY-FIVE
Larry has been pacing nervously back and forth. Adam finally speaks up and projects her image onto the wall, so they can watch BonaPhisto as she is in Hell trying to find BluePhisto. They have been watching this entire time and when BonaPhisto bursts into the room and collapses on the floor, Adam rushes over to her. He scoops her up in his arms, knowing how badly she's been injured. Larry is frozen with shock and can do almost nothing but stare, cry and pray. Adam examines her for a moment, then Fly, Bono and Larry are shocked to see tears stream down Adam's face. He holds her very close to him, almost burying his face in her neck and whispers frantically to her.
"Please don't do this, please don't die... Please, God... Bona, don't do this. I love you Bona, please don't do this..."
Larry's jaw hits the ground at this last phrase, but he says nothing. Bono runs off out onto the balcony and launches himself off into flight. Larry instinctively knows that Bono has gone for Jesus.
MacPhisto bursts into the room, sensing Bona's injury and his eyes fall upon the floor where Adam still clutches BonaPhisto tightly in his arms still whispering to her.
"Just hang on, Bona... please stay with us. Bona, please hang on... I love you, please don't die..."
MacPhisto doesn't have to ask what happened, he knows already. He had been expecting it, dreading it. He only moves over to Adam and kneels down beside BonaPhisto, Adam still clutching her tightly and whispering to her frantically.
"Please... please stay... I love you... Please don't go..."
EIGHTY-SIX
"Well, welcome back," says Screwtape. He struggles a little against her grasp and shoves her off of him with some effort. BluePhisto sits with her back against the wall. "That was a silly little stunt you just pulled my dear." He rearranges his suit and stands over her, contemplating her utter indifference to him. "Now what would be so wrong with me having a little fun with BonaPhisto? I thought you hated her."
"I do...I also hate you. So excuse me if I don't stand aside and let you satisfy yourself."
Screwtape takes a step towards her. "Well, now I'm all dressed up with no where to go..." He touches her hair, she doesn't even look up. This irritates him greatly and he walks away from her suddenly, sulking behind his desk. "I trust your meeting with The Father went well?"
"As could be expected...he didn't show up."
Screwtape laughs. "I forget how new you are...you look so, sophisticated. He was there you silly girl, he was watching you. No one ever has ever seen The Father, he sees us. He has, however communicated to me that he is very pleased with you and wants me to commence your training quickly."
"Training?"
Screwtape rises from the desk and slinks towards her. "Though I must confess, you need almost no training to be a temptress...You are remarkably...effective. "He traces a finger from her chin down to the last visible piece of skin showing through her low cut dress." It's hard for a man to think clearly around you, I can hardly imagine what you will do to the mortals!" He grips her face in his hands and leans in to kiss her, before he knows it he is on the ground again. BluePhisto coolly stands above him with one stiletto heel against his jugular.
"May I also remind you that I am also a remarkably effective assassin? Don't fucking push me, Screwtape."
She turns and sits in a chair, lighting a cigarette. Screwtape rises and rubs his tender neck, smirking. He was teaching her to underestimate him, and she would be fun to break in. He rises to his feet...
"Let us begin our first lesson."
EIGHTY-SEVEN
In Larry's room, MacPhisto watches Adam hold the injured BonaPhisto to his chest. He knew this was a bad idea. BluePhisto was still down there and BonaPhisto lay bleeding on the floor. MacPhisto would have been concerned if he wasn't so damn tired. The Fly is staring at him, and motions for MacPhisto to come out into the hallway. MacPhisto follows The Fly into the room directly opposite. The Fly shuts the door and shifts his weight from foot to foot, anxiously.
"How did Bona get to be a devil?"
MacPhisto sighs. "I kissed her so she would become a devil."
"You kissed her!?" MacPhisto saw his worn, worried face reflected back to him twinned in The Fly's ridiculous glasses.
"I had to, I didn't do it because I felt like kissing someone you dolt."
"And then she became a devil?"
MacPhisto collapses onto a couch, exasperated and exhausted. "Yes, Fly...are you deaf!? I kissed her and she became a devil. Anything else?"
"Does that work with anyone?"
MacPhisto stands up. The Fly stands in his way with an odd expression on his face. "Fly...what are you doing?"
"I'm going after her."
"You're an idiot. You're a human. What's more if Bona couldn't come back with her..."
"No...Bluey just refused to go with her, or talk to her."
"What? Why?"
"She hates her."
"Well why in the world would Bluey suddenly start to hate."
"They showed her a tape of you and Bona in the basement having sex."
MacPhisto is horrified. "What? But we didn't! I only kissed her to make her a..."
"Okay, okay I believe you...long story short, I can come back with her. She doesn't hate me!"
MacPhisto is still reeling from the implications of what they have done to BluePhisto to break her. "Go away Fly...I want to be by myself now." He pictures her having to watch that for hours. She must hate him now ...MacPhisto wishes more than anything that he could just storm down there and take her out himself. It's torture to know what the woman he loves more than anything in heaven, hell or earth is being put through. As he feared, they are breaking her.
"Mac, listen!"
MacPhisto pushes The Fly out of the room, on the verge of tears. "Just leave me alone, I want to be alone right now..."
"You have to make me a devil too, so I can go and get her!"
MacPhisto still not listening, and pushing The Fly. "Get out...I've got to think, there has to be a way..."
"Damn it, Mac!" The Fly braces himself, grimacing. He grabs an unsuspecting MacPhisto by the collar and kisses him hard on the lips. MacPhisto's eyebrows shoot up and he pushes The Fly off him.
"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!?"
The Fly wipes his mouth, looking as though he bit a lemon. "Did it work?"
"Did what work!?"
The Fly feels his head for horns. "Am I a devil?"
"That's not the way it works you fucking moron!"
"Well make it work then! Come on do the thing..." He reaches for MacPhisto's collar again. MacPhisto backs up quickly.
"Are you out of your MIND!? Get away from me you idiot!"
"Don't you want her back?"
"More than anything but you can't bring her back." He sighs and sinks into the couch once again. "You have no idea what it's like down there, no idea. You would just be throwing your life away, it really wouldn't be worth the effort." MacPhisto holds his head in his hands and The Fly looks down at him. The last thing in the world that MacPhisto wants to do (besides kiss the Fly again) is to start crying in front of him, but a couple of tears escape.
"Sorry I kissed you there."
"So am I." MacPhisto pauses and almost laughs at the absurdity of the last couple of sentences, but the impulse is so diluted in worry that the corners of his mouth don't even turn up. He looks at the Fly. "I remember when the biggest thing between Bluey and I was you."
"Yeah?"
"Yes. I really miss those days right now."
"What are they doing to her?"
"Fly...have you ever had a dream so terrifying that when you woke up you were afraid to speak about it for fear that articulating it would somehow make it real?...I don't even want to talk about it and you really, really do not want to know. Suffice to say that I wish she had just been married to you instead."
The two men sit for a few minutes side by side staring off into space. The Fly gets up and walks towards the door.
"I'm gonna check on Bona now." Before he closes the door he looks at the haggard yet elegant MacPhisto on the couch and smirks. "Hey Mac.."
"What?"
"You are, hands down, the worst date I've ever had."
EIGHTY-EIGHT
The Fly shuts the door. As he looks down the hallway he notices a dark trail...it's BonaPhisto's blood. He bends down and inspects it. The trail runs down the stair and around the corner. The Fly straightens his shades and follows the trail down all sorts of stairs until he gets to a room within a room, within a room. In the final room there is a door that is usually behind a mirror. The mirror was thrown aside when BonaPhisto rushed out of Hell. This was the portal to Hell.
The Fly slowly turns the knob and reels as oppressive heat and the smell of blood hit him. He steadies himself, sighs, unzips his black leather jacket and steps into the Inferno.
EIGHTY-NINE
MacPhisto walks out of the opposite bedroom and back to Larry's room, where Adam has moved BonaPhisto to the bed. He's doing his best to heal her as much as he can, but not much is happening. As soon as Mac walks in the room, Larry shoots a glare at him that would have killed him if looks could kill.
"Larry, it never happened. They fabricated it to break Bluey."
"Why should I believe you?"
MacPhisto slips. "Because I can't lie."
Adam looks up from Bona's broken frame, shocked. Larry steps back a little, and it dawns on him what is different about MacPhisto.
"You're an..."
"An angel. I made a deal with God to make me an angel so Bluey could trust me and it kind of backfired."
"No kidding..." Larry pauses. "So that tape of you and Bona..."
"It never happened. I kissed her to make her a devil again and that was it."
"Well she has to become human again somehow," Adam says. "Jesus can't heal her at all if she's still a devil."
MacPhisto inches over to her and sits beside her on the bed.
"Adam, I've never done this before."
Adam nods. "It's okay... go ahead."
MacPhisto leans forward and brushes a hand across BonaPhisto's forehead. He reaches up and takes her horns, pulling at them until they give and come off her head. She starts to tremble and MacPhisto brushes another light kiss across her lips. She trembles even harder and the three men watch as her body transforms back to it's human state.
EIGHTY-NINE
"Heeeeey, how ya doing?"
The thin, dusty devil clerk turned to look at the strange looking mortal in the leather suit and huge glasses. He just stood there audaciously as if he belonged.
"Okay, I'll take that as a good. I'm fine too, thanks for asking. I was wondering where is your boss?"
The clerk just stares...The Fly was a rock star and used to getting his way, and he thought Hell would be a lot worse than this.
"Hello? Do you speak English down here?" He speaks louder and slower. "I need to see your BOSS, capice? Take me to your leader!"
The Clerk looks around to see if anyone else was curious about this bizarre mortal who was unattended but didn't seem to need attending. Most mortals down here unattended would have escaped by now, this one seemed to want in ...He must be someone special.
"You have clearance?"
"Yeah...oh yeah. I got clearance."
"Okay, I'm going there with these files. You can come with me."
The Fly slaps the Clerk on the back and lights a cigar from a nearby well of fire. "Thanks hombre. Let's go."
The Fly is inwardly gracious for his gift of bravado and searches for Bluey out of the side of his shades as the clerk takes him to meet The Father Below...
NINETY
Larry's mouth is still open from the news...
"Lemme get this straight. You're an angel?"
"Yes, Larry. I seem to have to repeat everything I say tonight two or three times..."
Adam adjusts his thin glasses. "How are you feeling?"
"Great Adam, just fantastic. If I hadn't made this ridiculous deal, she would be back by now." He sinks into a chair and lights a cigar.
"Wow," Larry says flippantly. "If you really are an angel, you are the bitchiest angel I've ever met."
Larry's last comment, although meant to be light, was the straw that broke the proverbial camel's back. MacPhisto throws his cigar to the marble floor and stands up quickly, as angry as anyone has ever seen him. "Look Mister Mullen, if I'm not fucking cheery enough for you how about you put Bona back in Hell, make her hate you more than anything in the world, and sit up here with the knowledge of exactly what unnamable tortures they are inflicting upon her at this very moment and then while you're at it why don't you just tie your hands so you can do nothing but sit there and fucking watch!" He walks towards Larry and Larry's eyebrows go up. "When you do all those things you can come back here after a couple of days of this and tell me to smile a little more but as it is...The woman you love is safe, her mind and body are intact." He gestures emphatically to Bona's sleeping figure. "She's right there beside you on the bed. She loves you. She's even going to marry you and have your baby..." He hisses these last words and looks away from everyone for a second, biting his lip. When he looks back at Larry, his eyes are full of tears. "I can say none of those things, so I think you should keep your mouth shut you lucky son of a bitch."
NINETY-ONE
Screwtape leads BluePhisto from his office down a hall.
"Where are we going?" BluePhisto asks.
"To commence your training."
As BluePhisto follows Screwtape she shudders as demons walking past lick their lips when they see her. She walks a little closer to Screwtape.
"What kind of training?"
"Well, there are many steps in training a new tempter or temptress...dissection of the human psychology, intense scrutiny of the enemy's techniques, desensitization to the suffering of others." He opens a door with a key and enters the room beckoning for her to follow. "Fortunately, what made you such an attractive candidate for the position is that you have extensive experience in all of these fields." BluePhisto looks around the room, it is very dimly lit and she can make out bookshelves and a desk. Screwtape disappears into an adjoining room, still talking through the closed door. "In fact, you outrank many of our senior tempters in many areas. Your knowledge of theology, and your manipulative abilities are almost unmatched; but you do need to learn one thing before you are the perfect temptress."
"What is that?"
Screwtape returns from the other room wearing only a black robe. "You have to learn to separate love from sex."
BluePhisto backs up to the door, disgusted. "And you think you're going to teach me that?"
"If I must...oh don't bother, the door is quite securely locked." BluePhisto tries the door anyway and she cannot budge it. Her heart starts to pound, she tries not to show her fear. Screwtape is right behind her. He puts his hands on her waist.
"This could be pleasurable if you let it..." He runs a hand down her arm and BluePhisto takes a swing at him but faster than she can even see, he has her pinned to the floor.
"Yes, I'm afraid I outrank you here." BluePhisto fights him but he holds her down. She looks at the door.
"Are you waiting for someone? Is someone going to burst through that door and save you at the last minute from me?" He shakes his head and kisses her ear. "Not this time dear." He smiles, a new thought just occurring to him and he whispers to her. "You know...I'm a little amazed he hasn't bothered to show up either. But I know that he's probably watching us..."
"Get the fuck off me you sick bastard! NO!"
He frowns and slaps her so hard she bleeds. "Shut up."
No one comes to rescue her this time.
NINETY-TWO
She wakes up alone. The room is dark again and she feels...sick. BluePhisto sits up and everything is painful, she has nothing on. The door opens and a bundle of clothes are thrown in at her feet, a voice tells her to get dressed, The Father wants to see her. Slowly, she crawls to the clothes and holds them to her. She finds a lamp and it's feeble light flickers on at her touch. BluePhisto looks down, her skin is bleeding almost everywhere...scratch marks and bite marks and bruises. She shakes and everything comes flooding back to her...she is so disgusted that she is physically sick in a trash can. For a long time she just cries and cries, and tries to forget it all. There is a knock at the door and she dresses in a long black dress quickly with shaking hands and crouches behind the desk. The door opens, it's Screwtape. He sees her immediately and talks to her as though nothing happened.
"You're not ready yet?" He grabs her again and she immediately begins to fight him, but he holds her arms down by her sides. "Stop that. You need to get cleaned up, I can't take you there like this." He shoves her into the bathroom and she slams the door in his face, locking it.
"Get away from me!" She hears keys jangle and the door opens. Screwtape looks annoyed.
"Clean up." She just cries so he shakes his head and wipes the blood off of her face roughly with a towel. He spins her around and laces her dress up in the back cruelly tight, and jams long black elbow gloves onto her shaking arms to cover the cuts and bruises. Satisfied, he drags her out of the bathroom like a doll and almost carries her down the long dark hallway.
"Don't embarrass me in there my girl."
"I'm not your girl you sick fuck!"
Screwtape holds her arm painfully tight. "Oh yes...you are. No one else wants you..."
NINETY-THREE
Larry rises and moves out to the balcony. He leans against the rail and stares out into the gardens, feeling very sorry and very guilty for MacPhisto. It's been a long time since he'd felt this guilty about setting someone off, and as it was he really could not imagine the pain MacPhisto must be in. He turned when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Adam stood before him. Adam's earlier words hit Larry again like a ton of bricks, and again he could see Adam on the floor, clutching BonaPhisto to his chest whispering over and over "I love you..." Adam sensed his thoughts and spoke.
"Larry, please listen..."
"Why is it that every man in this house seems to be falling in love with my fianc?e?"
"Larry, I'm sorry."
Larry shrugs dismissively. "No, that's alright... Everyone else has, why not have you jump on the bandwagon too, right Adam?"
"Larry, that's not it at all." He pauses, figuring out exactly how he should phrase this. "My time with Bona is long over. You see, Bona was born human. She was born over three thousand years ago in what is today Ireland. When she was in her late twenties I was assigned to her to protect her. Satan was after her desperately because of her ability to bring a man to his knees. I was warned about her, but over the course of the several years I was assigned to her, I fell in love with her." He sighs. "Listen..." He moves closer to Larry and lowers his voice. "What I'm about to tell you not many people know about. By that I mean the only other people that have any knowledge or recollection of any of this is God, Bluey and Bono. Larry, I fell for her. Just like Bono did. I lost my wings, I lost everything. I almost lost Heaven for her too. I became totally human and I'll have to say it was the scariest experience I've ever had. Bona was the only thing that kept me going, that and my contact with Bluey and Bono. When I fell, I lost all ability to locate her, so I spent days, weeks even wandering through the streets trying to find her. I had nowhere to stay, nothing to eat or drink at all. I lived off the land as best as I knew how until I'd finally lost all hope and patience and I gave up. She found me on a street corner one morning, unconscious, starved and left for dead. She took me home, and when I woke up her face was the first thing I saw. Over the course of my healing I suppose she saw something in me, and when I was healthy again we began a very intense affair. I was away one afternoon gathering food and when I'd returned, MacPhisto had gotten to her. There was no warning, nothing. That morning I left her standing in the kitchen, a human and the love of my life, and I returned to a devil, no longer able to feel anything. I would gladly have died after that and descended into Hell if it meant being with her, but Bluey and Bono wouldn't hear of it. They stayed by my side and pulled me out of the pit I was in, and God was gracious enough to allow me to take my position as an archangel again. That's how it's been ever since. All I want is her happiness and her safety. She doesn't love me. She loves you. Can't you see that?"
NINETY-FOUR
When MacPhisto and Adam enter, BonaPhisto is sitting on the bed with Larry, talking seriously. They have been talking about the wedding.
"Do you think we should have it that soon? I mean honestly, it just seems like that's not enough time to plan..."
"When's the wedding?"
"A little over a week."
MacPhisto marvels. "That's a little quick, don't you think?"
"With the baby coming," explains BonaPhisto, "we don't want to wait too long. I want to still be able to fit in my dress. Em, I hate to ask this of you, Mac, but could we use your mansion for the wedding?"
"Absolutely."
"Well, Larry," Bono pipes up, "how do you feel about shopping for a tuxedo?"
"Sure." Larry rises to leave with Bono. Bono crosses to Bona and gives her a goodbye hug.
"Thanks for everything," Bona says. "I'll see you two in a bit?"
Bono suddenly freezes and holds Bona even closer, a concerned and almost panicked look on his face.
"Bono, what's wrong?"
Bono shoots a look at Adam. Larry looks concerned and searches Bono's face for an answer. Bono lets her go and motions for Adam to come over and makes another motion for Adam to hold Bona exactly the way Bono was. Adam comes up to her and wraps his arms around her waist, pulling her right up to him and clutching her tightly. After a minute he lets her go and shoots Bono a look like "I think you're right." The two angels contemplate Bona for a minute and then Bono speaks up.
"Bona...I don't feel the baby anymore."
NINETY-FIVE
"Hey...pssst! You! Yeah you with the horns." The Fly holds out a cigar. "You gotta light baby?" The baffled clerk in front of The Fly snaps his fingers and a small flame leaps out. The Fly smiles and lights his cigar. "Wow, that must be popular with the ladies!" The clerk sighs and raises an eyebrow. They were standing with about 900 other demons in the Great Hall, the place where The Father resided. Not that anyone had ever seen The Father, but this is where his voice was heard. Being such a "holy" place, everyone observed an almost ritualistic code of behavior. No laughing, no speaking out of turn, best dress only, no talking back...there were even designated spots to stand according to your status in Hell. The most prestigious demons got to stand close to the towering throne, which was so high that no one could see The Father sitting on it at the top. The Fly and the clerk stood at the back of the room, The Fly looked around. This place wasn't so bad. From what MacPhisto had told him he expected them to be dismembering people in the hallways. It was just a little musty, he decided. He leans over to the clerk again.
"So is Satan showing up soon? I don't have all day."
"You must stay silent and wait to be addressed. Furthermore, you must address him as 'The Father.'"
"Fine..."
NINETY-SIX
Screwtape ushers BluePhisto into the Great Hall and they stand near the towering black throne. Screwtape holds BluePhisto's arm behind her back. He had warned her in the hallway that if she started to cry in the Hall, he would give her something to cry about later. She is silent, and her eyes are dead, plastic. Still her outward appearance in the black dress and gloves is so hauntingly beautiful that many tempters turned from their spots to stare at her hungrily.
The Fly grabs the Clerk excitedly, which annoys the clerk to no end. "Hey! Hey! I know her!" He points to BluePhisto. "I Know her!!! BLUEY!!! HEY BABY! OVER HERE!"
BluePhisto thought she heard her name, but trumpets blared a fanfare and drowned it out before she could be certain. A solemn figure took the middle of the floor and started to read a text from a long scroll in a loud voice in the language of Hell. Finally, he rolled up the scroll and walked off to the side and smoke started to pour down from the throne, indicating The Father's presence. The Fly jumped at his chance and pushed his way out onto the floor. Gasps filled the room at the breech in protocol. BluePhisto's jaw drops open in surprise, The Fly came to take her back!?
"Hey...Sorry to interrupt but I just want to say this really quick everybody..." He pushes up the sleeves on his leather jacket and continues, totally oblivious to the glares from nine hundred directions. "You all have a nice place and everything, it's not as bad as I thought it would be, really! But my girlfriend got taken down here and she didn't do anything so I'm here to take her back...Sorry for the interrupt---"
A voice echoes through the entire hall and everyone but The Fly falls to their knees.
"WHO ARE YOU!?"
The Fly turns around, looking for the source of the voice. "Who said that?"
"IT IS I...THE FATHER BELOW."
"Oh good. Just the guy I wanted to see."
"WHO ARE YOU?"
The Fly runs a hand through his hair. "You mean you don't recognize me? I'm kind of a big rock star. Maybe you don't get MTV down here..."
"Prove it." A guitar is thrust at The Fly.
"You want me to play something!?...Just a min." He thinks and adjusts his glasses, strapping the guitar on. "Any requests?"
"JUST PLAY, MORTAL."
The Fly turns and finds a mic in front of him. He strums a couple of chords and then starts to play for the court of Hell. BluePhisto is now convinced that she has finally passed out again and is dreaming this...it's just not possible.
The Fly looks at Bluey as he sings in a low voice over the introduction to the song. "Love...you shine like a burning star that's fallin' from the sky...tonight.." Somehow the sound of the single guitar expands to become the whole band. The Fly breaks into his song with gusto. When he finishes there is no applause until a slow clapping is heard from the throne. Everyone quickly follows suit and applauds loudly. To BluePhisto's astonishment, The Fly keeps playing song after song and The Father keeps applauding and requesting another. The Fly is equally amazed that he was not vaporized or some shit by now. Finally, there is a long silence after the applause...no one dares breathe.
"YOU PLEASE ME, MORTAL. WHAT DO YOU WANT?"
The Fly pushes his hair from his sweaty face. "Well, first of all this disembodied voice thing is creepy. Come out. Lemme see ya if we're going to chat."
Gasps echo around the room and stop abruptly as a figure is seen coming from the throne. A blond man in a black suit descends the stairs and stands before the stunned assembly. Satan, the Lord of all Evil, a remarkably average looking blond man with a calm face stands before The Fly in a totally black suit.
The Fly is totally unimpressed. "I didn't figure you for a blonde. Hmm. Funny world."
"What is it you desire?"
"I want to take my girlfriend home."
Satan is amused. "I can give you anything you want...anything."
"Yeah, that's pretty much it. Just her."
Satan shrugs. "Alright then, I suppose so. you did entertain me for the first time in thousands of years. Which one is she?"
The Fly smiles towards BluePhisto and walks over to her, taking her hand and pulling her away from Screwtape. "This is her. I want to take her home with me." Screwtape pulls her back towards him and The Fly turns to him.
"Man...if you pull her back to you one more time I am going to fucking pop you one, got it?"
Satan bursts out laughing at the strange mortal in the large dark glasses. He really amused him for the first time in ages. He motions for Screwtape to release BluePhisto which he does quickly, but he glares daggers at her as The Fly takes her to the middle of the floor.
"Wait. That temptress is your girlfriend?"
"Yeah, we were even going to get hitched before you all Shanghi-ed her on me."
Satan is contemplative. "I don't know if I can let you take this one...take any other woman you desire. I have plans for this one here."
The room is packed with sexy temptresses but The Fly doesn't even look around.
"Nope. Sorry. Just this one."
Satan sighing. "Well, alright then. I will make you a deal...It's an oldie but a goodie. You can take her home if you go all the way home in front of her and don't look back once."
"Okay. Sounds good. If I look back, she stays, right?"
Satan grins. "Right, and I also get to keep you around for my entertainment. Deal?"
"Deal! Starting now?"
"Starting now." The Fly turns and finds what looks like the world's longest staircase up. It gets narrower and narrower towards the top. He starts to climb. Satan smiles. He knows with The Fly's attention span and his impulsiveness that he and BluePhisto are as good as his.
The Fly calls back. "Bluey...are you following me?"
Satan watches her slowly start to climb the stairs after him. Soon she would be back though. She was Screwtape's little toy for now, but Satan actually had his eye on her...A former angel, an assassin at that...the idea was intriguing.
The Fly just keeps climbing. He almost looks back to make sure that she is actually there, that she is okay, or that she is still following him but he just keeps going up. He even takes his shades off because he worries that seeing her reflection in the lens accidentally might count as "looking back". He climbs for what must have been twenty minutes, his legs ache and he wants to collapse but he just keeps going singing snatches of songs to keep him focused.
"If you walk away walk away...I will follow..."
He was so tired and hot he was almost delirious by now. He listened. He couldn't hear any steps behind him...nothing. Maybe she wasn't there and he was just leaving without her...they were all probably laughing at him back in Hell. He almost turned just to see...just to make sure she was there but he stopped himself, closed his eyes and began to climb again.
"Don't you turn around...don't you turn around again, don't turn around, your gypsy heart..."
Finally, he reached the door. He was just about dead by now and turned the knob, stepping inside. He stood there for what seemed like forever with his eyes closed and the door open so that BluePhisto could come back in if she was indeed there.
"Fly...Fly, you can shut the door now." He shut the door, his eyes still closed tightly.
"Can I look now?"
"Yes, open your eyes." He opened his eyes. He was back in the secret room in the mansion with BluePhisto. He couldn't believe it. She smiled in relief and sat on the floor. "You saved me...you actually just walked into Hell and took me out! You're CRAZY!"
"Well, baby, you stood me up. I'm not a man to give up easy!" He looked at her sitting on the floor. She was indeed a devil now. Her makeup was heavier and she was white as paper, and horns pierced her black hair...but she was still beautiful to him. He held out a hand to her.
"Come here baby." He pulls her up and moves to hold her but she pushes him away with a grimace. Her eyes are shiny with tears. She whispers, "I'm sorry Fly...I just I don't want to be touched right now. Okay?"
"Okay honey, whatever you want...Whatever you want is fine. I'm just glad you are back."
They hear doors opening and feet pounding down flights of stairs. BluePhisto stands behind The Fly with narrowed, anxious eyes. "It's okay honey...It's just the others, we were all worried sick about you...Especially Macphis..."
BluePhisto slaps a hand over his mouth. "I don't even want to HEAR his name, okay? Just keep him out of the room."
BluePhisto stands with her head in her hands...she listens to the four men outside the door whisper about her and she collapses onto the black satin couch...exhausted in every way.
BonaPhisto stands in shock, near tears. Larry pulls her to him, taking her head and placing it on her shoulder.
"The baby... I can't have lost the baby..."
Adam swallows hard. "We don't know for sure yet, so don't worry too much until we do..."
BonaPhisto cuts him off, speaking urgently. "Bluey's back."
Adam and Bono practically sprint out of the room and MacPhisto follows them. Adam turns, stopping him.
"Mac, I'll bet you anything she's not going to want to see you."
"She has to know the truth."
The three men run out of the room, leaving Larry and BonaPhisto alone, trying to cope with the possibility of losing their child. The thought horrifies Bona, and she finally breaks down and sobs on Larry's shoulder. He holds her tightly, closely, trying his best to comfort her through his own upset.
NINETY-SEVEN
Adam, Bono and MacPhisto run through hallways, down corridors and down staircases until they come to a room. The door opens and out steps the Fly. He looks at MacPhisto apologetically.
"Well, she's back. She's a bit traumatized, but she's mostly okay."
"Can we see her?" MacPhisto asks.
"They can see her. I'm sorry, Mac. She doesn't even want to hear your name right now."
"She's a devil now?"
"Yeah. She's a devil."
"Somebody's gotta talk to her," says Adam. "Mac, you go and keep an eye on Bona and Larry."
Adam, Bono and the Fly all walk into the room and find BluePhisto asleep on the couch. Adam walks over to her and crouches in front of her.
"Bluey, wake up."
She opens her eyes heavily.
"How are you feeling?"
"I'm just thankful to be out of there."
"Bluey, there's certain things you need to know..."
MacPhisto reluctantly made his way up stairs to BonaPhisto and Larry's room. He stands outside the door and knocks. He can hear Bona crying and Larry murmuring things to her. Larry opens the door.
"She doesn't want visitors right now," MacPhisto says darkly. "How are you, both of you?"
"Well..." MacPhisto reads his thoughts.
"I expected as much." He stands there awkwardly. How does one check on people anyway?
"Well, thanks," says Larry. "I'm glad Bluey's back."
He waves and MacPhisto, having fulfilled his task hurries back downstairs to be near Bluey in case she came to her senses.
Bono crouches beside BluePhisto on the couch. She didn't want anyone to touch her, and she kept looking at the door nervously.
"Bluey, there are some things you need to know."
Bono interrupts. "Do you need anything, Bluey? Something to eat or drink? What would you like?" Adam looks up in surprise at the interruption. Bono thinks at him that she needs to rest before absorbing any more shock today and Adam agrees.
"Yes...Bluey dear, what would you like to do?"
"I'd like to take a bath." She stands and wavers.
"Would you like someone to help you?"
BluePhisto whispers, "Fly."
Adam summons The Fly, who smiles at BluePhisto and approaches her slowly, she hesitantly wraps an arm around her and he lifts her off the ground. As soon as he begins to walk, she has put her head against his shoulder and is out like a light.
"Aw, poor honey," he whispers. "She's so tired!" They hear rapid footsteps on the stairs above them which slow as MacPhisto senses Adam and Bono, and...BluePhisto. The Fly stops as MacPhisto descends the stairs in front of him.
"She's asleep," says Adam. "You can come down."
MacPhisto makes his way over to his unconscious beloved, unspeakably relieved to see her again. He sighs deeply, and his bright blue eyes shine as he looks down at her.
"My arms are getting tired, Mac. Here..." Before Adam or Larry can protest, The Fly hands her to MacPhisto. She rests her head on his shoulder and he smiles at her. Holding her close to him, he seems like he's in another world entirely. Without moving his eyes from Bluey, MacPhisto whispers to The Fly.
"Thank you." No one moves or speaks as he stands there for a few more minutes, just cherishing the weight of her in his arms. He doesn't think he will ever let go. Eventually, they start to climb the stairs again and arrive at her bedroom. Adam opens the door and MacPhisto carries her to the bed. He hasn't taken his eyes from her this entire time, and now that it is time to lower her into the bed, he finds he cannot. He just stands there, holding her.
I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry I couldn't protect you from that, dearest. I will never, ever allow anything like that to happen to you again. If you hate me, or despise me, it will make no difference to me. I will protect you forever. Why can't I let you go? I'm afraid if I do, you'll disappear again.
Adam pulls the green covers of the bed back and MacPhisto sighs and very slowly lowers her into the bed. He lets her go, but stays sitting on the edge of the bed with her.
Adam frowns. "Mac...she doesn't know the truth yet, maybe you shouldn't be here when she wakes up, which could be anytime..."
MacPhisto sits like a statue, looking down at her with a soft smile on his usually intense face, and pulls the covers up around her. It's very hard for him not to touch her, but he knows not to. Finally, he stands slowly and walks out of the room backwards, staring at her until he closes the door behind him.
"How long will she be out?" Bono asks.
"Not long..."
MacPhisto just looks at BonaPhisto sadly with eyes full of pity and leaves, closing the door behind him. Bono slides the gloves off of her arms. "These can't be comfortable...Oh my GOD! Adam!"
Both of her arms are covered with still bleeding cuts and what appear to be bite marks. Both angels are repulsed at the depth and obvious brutality of the wounds. The Fly, dropping his shades to the ground, sweeps her long hair away from her shoulders. The horrific marks go all the way down her back.
"I've never seen anything like this," whispers a stunned Adam. "I mean...dear God."
"What happened?" asks The Fly. "I don't understand."
Adam looks up at him. "You don't want to."
NINETY-EIGHT
Adam, Bono and The Fly walk back into Larry's room where he still holds BonaPhisto. She is still crying into Larry's shoulder, though she has calmed down a bit. Adam walks up to her and takes her in his arms.
"Adam, what did I do? What happened?"
"I don't know. Everything will be alright. I have a strange feeling that this isn't because of your injury. There's something much bigger at work here."
Bona looks up at him, searching his face.
"The only reason I can think of that you would lose the baby so abruptly is if something happened to you while you were in Hell that we didn't see."
BonaPhisto thinks a minute, and from her three thousand years of experience with Hell, something dawns on her. Her hand flies up to her mouth, and her eyes widen. She backs away from Adam and straight into Larry. She startles and runs across the hall to the room where MacPhisto sits with BluePhisto. Adam and Bono both sense her thoughts and both are horrified, and almost physically sick. MacPhisto senses her thoughts as well and when she approaches the door he opens it. She enters and collapses into a chair on the other side of the room.
"I can't believe they..."
"I know, Bona. I know."
BonaPhisto breaks down into tears again, and MacPhisto sits next to her, consoling her as best he can. She sobs into his shoulder.
"You're the only one who would understand this... I can't believe they did this..."
NINETY-NINE
"Mac, I just can't...He took the baby..." BonaPhisto sobs into his coat and for a moment, MacPhisto wraps his arms around her to calm her down.
"Good morning," says BluePhisto coldly.
MacPhisto looks at BluePhisto horrified that she should open her eyes at the worst possible moment, to see him holding BonaPhisto on her bed yet.
"Bluey...you're awake!"
"Shut up Bona. Just shut up you overdressed, melodramatic, cheating, lying, two faced BITCH!? Does Larry know about this? I think he should, or maybe he should just have to watch the two of you fuck each other for hours in Hell! You've always been after him...and..." She rounds on MacPhisto. "Any you've always been more than ready to accommodate her."
MacPhisto tries to calm her. "No, dearest, it never happened! He made it up to break you..."
"Excuse me if I remain skeptical." She paces angrily, and spits the words out. "Let's examine a little pattern shall we? The very day that you show any sort of feeling for me you end up kissing her behind my back! I forgive you and we move on. You continue to flirt outrageously and I look the other way until you sleep with her! I forgive you again and the minute I disappear, I mean what was I, In Hell for five goddamn minutes? And you two are going at it in the basement! Which made for some great television, as I lay there bleeding to death, let me tell you. Do you know what MacPhisto? I would not be this upset if it was anyone else, but why HER !!? What is so goddamned special about her!? It's always somehow about Bona isn't it? So where you just killing time with me? Trying to make her jealous?" She leans in close to MacPhisto and whispers at him harshly. "I meant nothing to you...nothing. I can't believe I ever thought that you loved me, knowing what I know now..."
"Stop this. Stop it." MacPhisto walks to BluePhisto and reaches out to touch her shoulders and calm her. His eyes search hers for some point of contact. "I love you, I only love you..."
BluePhisto laughs in his face. "Really? Fine, then tell me something will you?" She rips off her other glove and holds out her mutilated arms at him. "Where were you when he did this to me?" MacPhisto looks at her sadly, and tries to answer but she cuts him off. "Where were you? Or was it true what he said, that you were probably just watching him rape me from somewhere up here with a nice glass of chardonnay!?" MacPhisto flinches at that last accusation. "Because to tell you the truth, when I couldn't fight back anymore, when I couldn't get him off of me , I kept looking at the locked door, hoping that you would come in and stop him...but you never came. You just let him...you let it happen, and now I know why, you were probably busy with her."
She starts to walk out but MacPhisto catches her by her shoulder and she goes to shove him away again, but he grabs her wrists and pulls her closer to her*
"Let me go!"
"Listen..."
"You bastard, I hate you! You lying, rotten son of a bitch!"
MacPhisto shouts over her. "I'M AN ANGEL! I am an angel now and it killed me, it just KILLED me not to be able to go down there and save you!" BluePhisto stops struggling and stares at him, her lips open in shock. She backs up a step and whispers.
"I don't believe you...
He touches her mangled arms for a second, his hands are very warm. When he pulls his hands from her skin, the places where his palms were are now perfectly healed.
"See?"
Just then, Larry bursts into the room and runs to BonaPhisto, smothering her in a massive hug.
"What did he do to her?"
"Are you sure you want to hear this?"
"Yes."
"Okay. When he had her pinned against the wall in his office... He had the baby removed from her womb by... while he was kissing her he had the baby tagged by some kind of process that I didn't quite catch from Bona's thoughts, but when she awoke and went to the bathroom, they took it. It was expelled from her body and they took it. It's very disgusting..."
"Did they...hurt her?" Larry asks apprehensively.
"No, she can conceive again, thankfully."
"So why'd she run over to Mac just now?"
"Because he's the only one who would understand what they did to her. Speaking of, she ought not be in the room when Bluey wakes up..."
"She wouldn't hurt her..."
"With the level of hatred she has right now, it wouldn't surprise me."
Larry bolts up and out of the room, across the hall and he bursts in, relieved to see BonaPhisto has been unharmed. He runs over to her and practically knocks her over with a hug. He picks her up and spins her around, showering her face with kisses.
"Hi Larry. Listen, can I ask you a question? Do you know how long your BITCH of a girlfriend has been after MacPhisto?"
"I told you it NEVER HAPPENED!"
"...And have you noticed that every time you turn your back she's in MacPhisto's arms again? Did you happen to notice their enormous attachment to each other? That right after you proposed to her she ran to MacPhisto?"
"That was a lie, Bluey. And by the way, she lost the baby."
"I know. I was the one who took it from her, after Screwtape had tagged it."
Larry's rage rises, and MacPhisto's mouth hangs wide open. Bona just shakes with tears and shock.
"Why?"
"Because I was told to and I hate her. She fucking deserved it!"
"Really?!" Larry spins around to face her. "There's a few things you need to know, Bluey. First of all, the tape was fabricated. But we've told you that how many times already and you still don't seem to get it? Do you want to know what really happened in the basement between Bona and Mac? Hmm? He kissed her to make her a devil so she could come down and save you! She was just as horrified as you were when she found the tape, and her only goal in Hell was to get you out!" Larry has been inching his way toward Bluey this whole time. Now he has her cornered, but he does not touch her. He only has his face inches from hers and he spits the words out at her like bullets. "Bluey, Bona nearly died trying to save you! Do you understand that? She almost died for you! The only reason she survived was because of Jesus and then she wakes up to discover the very woman who she was trying to save was the very one who took her child, her pride and joy from her? That's one hell of a way to thank somebody, Bluey."
Larry spins around and heads for the door. Bona starts to follow him, still very nervous and wanting only to get out of the room. Larry suddenly spins around again.
"And by the way, did you know that MacPhisto was writhing with pain knowing that there was no way he could save you? He sat in the basement for hours sobbing his eyes out and he even tried to kill himself because he thought it would get him into Hell so he could save you. We all hated the fact that you were tortured down there. We all wish that you would never have been kidnapped in the first place. And you have every right to be angry, hurt, upset, whatever, but the two people you hate the most right now were the very two people that sacrificed their lives trying to save you. And you thank them how?! Think about that. I'm sorry, Mac, but it had to be said."
Bluey stands with a stunned and truly sorry look on her face.
Larry quickly spins around and walks out the door before he loses control of his temper and ends up hurting BluePhisto or anyone else. Out in the hall, BonaPhisto catches up to Larry and takes his hand, if only to try and calm his anger. They get into the room and Larry plops down on the bed, BonaPhisto next to him, rubbing his back trying to get him to relax a little. Adam, Bono and the Fly stand with awed looks on their faces. Adam sits next to Larry and as BonaPhisto holds him, he speaks.
"I hope you got through to her, but I'm only sorry it had to be that way..."
ONE HUNDRED
BluePhisto stands as still as a stone. Larry's words pulled the rug out from under her feet and for the first time since she woke up in the black room, she feels totally awake.
MacPhisto whispers gently, "Bluey..."
BluePhisto jumps. "I didn't know you were still here." She looks at him apprehensively, waiting for his anger to fall on her like rain.
He recognizes the look on her face. It is the same look that plagued his face when she walked in on him after he had cut BonaPhisto. It seemed like so long ago, but in her expression he remembered precisely what it felt like to realize what you have become...and to hate it. She shivers and he takes off his black velvet jacket and drapes it across her shoulders. She looks at him, puzzled. "You look cold...maybe you should sit down."
"I don't deserve this...especially from you."
"We all make mistakes."
"Not like this...What have I done?"
"You weren't even sane...it's not your fault."
"Why are you being so...kind?"
The corners of his mouth turn up slightly. "I think you already know the answer to that, dearest." She pulls the jacket around her tightly and sat on the bed. "You really kissed Bona to make her a devil?"
"Only to make her a devil..." He pauses and sits beside her, smiling again. "If it makes you feel better, I kissed The Fly too."
"The Fly?"
MacPhisto smirks mischievously. "Yes...Well, he grabbed me and kissed me to try and make himself into a devil."
"Wow...that's loyalty." He looks into the fireplace and she contemplates his face for a moment. "Mac? Why did you become an angel? When did that happen?"
"The morning after we slept together I woke up and you were gone. I knew you thought I couldn't be trusted, so I made a phone call."
"You became an angel just so I would trust you? Are you serious?"
"Well, I can't lie can I?" He looks younger than he did, brighter and smoother. "But, I went to the wedding to stop you if you were going to marry The Fly anyway...but you never came. And by that point, I couldn't help you."
"I know. It was a rule imposed by God to protect angels from abduction, and also by The Father to stop an invasion... It had to be enforced by both sides." She pauses and MacPhisto examines her the devil sitting beside him. The already dramatic features of her face were made even more striking by the smoky makeup. He realized that there would never be a moment when she could be unlovely to him.
"Mac...do you think Bona and Larry will be alright? God...I feel awful."
"Would you like anything?"
"No, no. I'm as fine as I will ever be..." An idea strikes her, and she fights to keep her face and thoughts from being too excited. "Actually," she turns to MacPhisto and smiles, "a glass of wine from the cellar would be perfect. I've never had wine before."
MacPhisto nods and leaves the room gracefully and saunters down the hall and the many stairwells to the cellar to retrieve a bottle of wine for BluePhisto.
As soon as he is gone, BluePhisto leaps off the bed and runs to the bathroom searching under the sink for something. She pulls out a box and opens it. "Elvis, you little gun fiend you." She takes out three guns and hides two, fully loaded, in the coat, loading the third as she races down the stairs.
MacPhisto is in the wine cellar, trying to select the perfect bottle of red to introduce someone to wine with when he realizes something.
"I will never drink this again...Hmm. Small price to pay I suppose." He remembers BluePhisto after she drank the bottle of vodka, and smiles. His thoughts turn to her and he focuses on her...The bottle drops to the ground and he sprints up the stairs. She is thinking just for him as she runs, armed towards the hidden room in the basement.
I'm so sorry Mac...I have to do this. Tell Bona and Larry I'm sorry and I will make everything right again.
Bluey rushes down the final flight of stairs and reaches the bottom just as a panicked MacPhisto reached the top. She turns into the hidden room at top speed. MacPhisto is running so fast he almost falls down the last half of the stairs and reaches the door just in time to see her disappear into the portal with a gun in her hand.
ONE HUNDRED AND ONE
BluePhisto pulls the hammer back on the gun in her hand as she walks towards Screwtape's office. She finds it, and pushing the sickening memories of the last time she was here to the back of her mind, she kicks the door in. He is sitting at his desk on the phone.
"I'll have to call you back..." He hangs up and smiles at her. "Well, well, BluePhisto...back for more I see?"
BluePhisto raises the gun at his head. "Give Bona her baby back you son of a bitch."
Screwtape is startled at BluePhisto's complete change in attitude. He liked her better when she was broken and cowering in fear. "BluePhisto...that is no way to talk to a superior demon."
"Give the baby back...NOW or I am going to blow your disgusting head off."
"I don't know what you are talking about." BluePhisto fires a bullet into his shoulder. He clutches his arm as it bleeds. "FUCK! What are you DOING!?"
"I'm getting really tired of this. Give the baby back now." She walks right up to him and holds the gun to his temple. He knocks the gun away with his free arm, but as soon as it is out of her hands she has two more...one in each hand. He gasps. "I'm going to shoot you every time you make me repeat myself."
"Fine...fine, you crazy bitch." He pulls a file out of his desk slowly and leafs through it, signing some blank lines. She shot him in his writing arm, and he winces with every stroke of the pen. "There, done. It's back."
BluePhisto picks up a phone and dials, keeping a steady gun on Screwtape at all times.
The phone rings in Larry and BonaPhisto's room. All three angels and The Fly lunge for the phone at the same time. Adam grabs it first.
"Adam" BluePhisto says, "get Bono to check Bona."
Bono helps BonaPhisto up off the bed and holds her, closing his eyes. He waits and shakes his head.
"Nothing Bluey."
BluePhisto frowns at Screwtape.
"What are you trying to pull?" She lowers the gun from his head and aims it between his legs. His eyes widen.
"I can make this very painful."
"Okay, okay..." He signs a page at the end and backs up again, his hands in the air.
"Try again."
Adam motions for Bono to try again, he hugs Bona again and nobody in the the room exhales. A smile spreads across his face and he nods.
"It's back." Bona cries from relief, and collapses on the bed beside Larry, who hugs her.
MacPhisto reaches for the phone, but BluePhisto has already hung up.
BluePhisto hangs up the phone and as she does so Screwtape dashes to the other side of the room and grabs the gun she dropped. Triumphantly he points it at her head. They stand in the center of the room, pointing guns at each other in a standoff.
"You idiot."
BluePhisto tightens her grip on her guns. "Drop it. Drop it now."
"No, I don't think I will." With lightening speed he knocks the other two guns from her hands and shoves his gun into her temple. "Now that's more like it. Take your clothes off."
"No."
He shoves her against a wall. "You are in no position to talk back. Now come on..." He lunges for her, and she shoves him back. He squeezes the trigger and the bullet hits her in the chest. BluePhisto falls to the ground. Screwtape walks over to her...he leans down to see if she is dead. Suddenly, she springs to life kicks him in the head...sending him crashing into the desk. She is not even bleeding.
"I knew you'd go for the one I dropped... those are blanks."
Screwtape lunges for her again, but she jams a gun against his head. His eyes widen as hers narrow. He glances at the door.
"Oh, Screwtape, is someone going to burst through the door and save you from me?" He scowls, his words coming back to haunt him. "Not this time... Sorry." She pulls the trigger.
ONE HUNDRED AND TWO
MacPhisto bursts into Larry and Bona's room, absolutely beside himself and out of breath.
"SHE'S GONE! Bluey, she ran back into Hell."
"WHAT? I just got her out of there!"
"She's gone." He looks at Larry. "She's gone to get your child."
"Oh my God! I didn't want her to do that!"
"Well she's gone now! You idiot! Do you have any idea what could happen?"
ONE HUNDRED AND THREE
MacPhisto, The Fly, Bono and Adam are all waiting in the hidden room, staring at the portal.
"Should I just go get her again? They like me down there..."
"You met the Father?"
"Oh yeah...Blondie."
The door at the end of the room opens and the four men turn. BluePhisto walks out of Hell, her hands covered in blood. All four men stare at her. Bono whips his vest off and wraps them around her hands, trying to find the source of the blood.
"It's not my blood Bono. I'm fine. How is Bona?"
"She's good, everything is back to normal...I really can't believe it."
BluePhisto's eyes land on MacPhisto, who walks towards her slowly. His voice is faint and trembling. "BluePhisto...are you trying to kill me? Darling, you could have been...Don't you dare do anything like that again!"
"I can't promise that...what the hell, I can lie now. Sure, I promise."
MacPhisto unwraps Bono's vest, and takes her hands in his.
"I'm quite serious dearest."
The Fly clears his throat loudly.
"Hi...remember me? The guy who dragged you out the first time? I just want to make it clear that I am also glad you are back. I'm not an angel or nothing, but I am still also glad. Very glad. Equally glad in fact. Glad."
The Fly smiles, relieved to have broken the moment between MacPhisto and BluePhisto. Mac is not so relieved, and raises an eyebrow at the Fly.
BluePhisto smiles. "I really should go...I have some apologizing to do."
MacPhisto and The Fly are left alone in the room. They stare at each other.
"Well, if it isn't Ashley Wilkes..."
"If you think you're Rhett Butler in all of this, you are even more deluded than I previously imagined."
"Well, if I'm not Rhett, who the hell am I?"
"What was the maid's name again?"
"Shut it, Paleface."
MacPhisto raises his eyebrows and lights a cigar. "So...we're back to this are we?"
"I guess so." They start to walk up the stairs, to catch up with BluePhisto. "Well, at least I know you're a lousy kisser."
"I wasn't prepared!"
"Whatever..."
ONE HUNDRED AND FOUR
Edge and EchoPhisto are among the last guests to leave the aborted wedding. EchoPhisto is no less amused by it's failure than she would have been by its success.
"That man was hitting on me not 24 hours ago. Now all of a sudden he's the marrying kind."
"You said it yourself."
"Said what myself?"
"About MacPhisto's parties."
EchoPhisto and Edge chat amiably as they leave the garden. Immediately upon their return to the mansion, she becomes noticeably uncomfortable.
"Are you alright?"
EchoPhisto clenches her teeth, as if she is expecting a chill wind to make them chatter.
"There is something incredibly not right going on in this house. Can't you feel it?"
Edge closes his eyes and everything is quiet for a moment. When he opens his eyes, he nods.
"Let's go back outside. Doesn't MacPhisto have a hedge maze?"
EchoPhisto inquires of a butler about the hedge maze and she and Edge are directed to it. EchoPhisto becomes apprehensive when they reach the entrance.
"Should we be going in there? What if we get lost?"
"Don't worry." He crouches down and points to a tiny indentation in the stony path. "See that? These tell you how to get in and out. They're all over the maze."
"How ingenious. Well, that would have made "Labyrinth" about fourteen minutes long."
Edge and EchoPhisto meander through the maze, conversing. Edge lets the chatty EchoPhisto do most of the talking.
"...See, Salman Rushdie said that perhaps God is where we put things that have no place else to go. And so perhaps what separates atheists from theists is not any inclination towards sin or virtue, or a matter of ethics or morals...what makes atheists different is that they carry everything around with them. They cannot put things in God's hands. They cannot blame Him, or thank Him, or praise Him, or ask anything of Him, or give anything to Him. They keep everything for themselves, and to themselves. And sometimes that's a good thing and sometimes...it's not. Doesn't make one any more or less inclined to believe in Him, I suppose."
"I don't understand how someone can live their whole life like that."
"For some, it's actually easier. God is an obligation."
"I've never looked at him that way."
"Edge, if everyone looked at God the same way, U2 would have a lot fewer songs in their catalogue."
When they reach the center of the maze, EchoPhisto sits and bids Edge do so as well. They lounge in a little patch of grass, surrounded by stones of Euclidean perfection.
Looking up, the sky is bordered on all sides of their vision by the sky-scraping hedges. The clouds that pass are their own private theater. They lie on their backs, separated no longer by disdain and despair but only by a few blades of grass, and they compare their respective impressions of cloud shapes.
Edge points. "What does that one look like to you?"
"A suspended mass of water and ice particles."
As the afternoon expires, the clouds have all passed and Echo and Edge are left in silence with a dimming cobalt sky. It's a more profound quiet than most people know; the quiet produced by one person who gets paid by the word and another who gets paid by the note.
Edge feels what he nearly always feels; a serene calm. Unaware of the drama that threatens to crumble the walls of the mansion, he thinks only of a particular middle-eight riff he'd been working on. A slow, minimalist bit, he'd debates to himself if it is too predictable.
Meanwhile, EchoPhisto is about to explode. She taps her toes imperceptibly inside her boots and bites the insides of her cheeks. Timing, timing, timing. The only thing that controls her overwhelming impatience is her need for the right place at the right time. However, it was a skill honed with the written word, not in the presence of other people. Having no delete key on her person at the time, EchoPhisto is frustratedly waiting for the most theistic dependency of all: The Sign.
For her, The Sign comes in the form of a tiny white suspended mass of water and ice particles that appears in the theater from the east. It arrives alone, as if lost.
EchoPhisto rolls over and kisses him.
Edge's reaction is immediate and urgent. He kisses back. Hard. She struggles to stow her incredulity in order to fully enjoy it. She expected a gentle kiss, then she would slowly pull back and they would share a thoughtful gaze. But Edge is more passionate than she expected. He pushes her back into a supine position with only the force of his kisses. EchoPhisto hasn't time to open her mouth before he has slid his tongue inside. She savors the taste of his mouth as though it were her last meal before execution. Edge's breathing grows rapid and ragged. He plants one hand on either side of her and wedges first one of his knees, then the other, between hers. He doesn't wait for her to invite him; he spreads her legs with his own and makes her aware of his erection. For EchoPhisto this is too much; she breaks their kiss in order to gasp.
Ever the director, she awaits with lip-smacking anticipation the next line in the script. Tell me how good it is, tell me how good it is, tell me how you regret having waited so long...
Edge hovers over her, gazing at the ground to the right of her shoulder as though it were a great distance away. His breathing slows.
"I don't know if we should do this..."
ONE HUNDRED AND FIVE
Bona buries her face into Larry's neck, and cries from sheer relief and joy. Larry exhales heavily and rubs her back, then takes her face in his hands and kisses her slowly, softly but with passion. The other four in the room sense that they need time alone.
"We should go wait for Bluey," says Adam.
"Yes..." MacPhisto motions to the door. "Shall we?"
They head out of the room and close the door. Larry breaks the kiss and smiles at her.
Larry whispers, "I told you everything would be okay."
He leans down and kisses her again and she tightens her grip on him. His kiss comes harder and he moves down to her neck, laying her down on the bed. She breaks the kiss and looks up at him.
"Do you think we have time to do this?"
"We can try..."
BonaPhisto laughs as he continues planting kisses all over her neck and face and eventually she gives, but they only lay there in a tight, relieved embrace. There is a knock on the door and they rise, Larry answers the door. Everyone walks in, BluePhisto being the last to walk in. BonaPhisto smiles ear to ear at her, another set of tears running down her cheeks. Bluey slowly approaches her.
"Bona, I'm so sorry. I never meant to..."
"I know, Bluey. It's okay. Thank you for making things right again."
"Bluey, you didn't have to do that."
"I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if I hadn't. Your words were a much needed wake up call. I'm sorry for all the grief I've caused you all..."
"And I'm sorry about everything I've done to hurt you as well," BonaPhisto says.
"Forgiven, but if it happens again I'll have to remind you of just how skilled of an assassin I am."
"Fair enough."
They stand quietly for a moment, awkwardly until Bona moves forward and embraces BluePhisto in a hug.
"I'm just glad you're okay..."
The dust from Larry's departing motorcycle hangs in the air like smoke and BonaPhisto waves at them from the back of the bike, clutching her fianc?, and smiling like a maniac. Bono and Adam stand in the doorway waving and smiling.
"Well, all's well that ends well," Adam says.
"Yeah," Bono agrees, "that's the way it goes... speaking of which, are we heading off now?"
"Yes, we should get back. I need some rest and some therapy before the wedding I think."
"What a party..."
"You said it."
Adam and Bono walk together across the expansive, manicured lawn and disappear into a haze of fog hanging in the night air.
ONE HUNDRED AND SIX
Edge sits up, looks down, left, anywhere but at Echo.
"What do you mean, you don't know if we should do this?"
"I'm sorry, I just...I don't think it's right."
Desperate, she clutches Edge's arm. "Nothing has ever felt more right to me."
Edge pulls his knees to his chest and rests his chin on them. "I can't. I mean, you're a wonderful person. I feel like I have a lot to learn from you. But I just don't feel that way about you, and I can't take advantage of you like this."
"Look, I am begging you, take advantage of me!"
"Echo, you know I'll only hurt you, in the end. Do you think I'm different than any other man? You don't need me. Look at all you have. You're brilliant, you're talented... "
"Okay you listen to me. All my life I've been told how lucky I am..." She adopts mocking tone. "...to be sooo brilliant and sooo talented. You know what? Being brilliant and talented is the air I breathe. I'm brilliant and talented every day of my life. It might be something special to you, but it means nothing to me because it's all I've ever had."
"I'm sorry. But I'm not in love with you, and it wouldn't be right. I'll only toy with your emotions. What you need is peace of mind, and that I can't give you that."
"I don't want to live in tranquility. Good prose doesn't grow there." She stands and adjusts her mussed hair. She leaves him hunkered in the grass.
"It's a small world, Mr. The Edge, and our paths will surely cross again."
She smiles cryptically and looks down at the stony path to find the arrow that will lead her out of the maze.
ONE HUNDRED AND SEVEN
MacPhisto enters the ballroom, the scene of so many intrigues these past nights and finds The Fly laying on a couch smoking. MacPhisto raises a black eyebrow and leans over the back of the couch looking at The Fly as he lights a cigar...
"Oh, hey Mac."
"Good evening Fly." He clears his throat. "I hope you enjoyed the party."
"I did." There is silence between them. The Fly raises an eyebrow behind his huge shades. "Oh, is that a hint?"
"I was merely enquiring as to whether or not..."
"Cut the crap."
"Go home Fly."
BluePhisto enters. Both men turn and stare. She is still wearing her black dress and MacPhisto?s jacket and is smiling at both of them.
MacPhisto walks towards her. "How are you dearest?"
"Feeling much better thank you."
"Hey...baby. You've never seen my pad have you?"
MacPhisto sneers at The Fly.
"No I haven't," BluePhisto says. "...I'd love to sometime."
"Perfect honey! How bout now? You can hang out there with me until the wedding."
BluePhisto hugs The Fly and kisses him on the cheek. "You know I would but everything I have is here, and I am very tired from all that's happened. I'm sorry Fly." She can see the disappointment on his face, and she kisses his other cheek and he brightens.
"You're really something baby, you know that?"
"Thank you. And thank you for helping me earlier. I'll see you again in just a week, alright? I'm just too tired to go anywhere else. Do you understand? I don't mean to disappoint you, and I have to help Bona and Larry get this place ready."
"I understand sugar...no problem." He hugs her tightly and whispers in her ear. "I still love ya baby, I'll see you soon." He smooches her quickly and runs out waving at MacPhisto and sticking out his tongue at him.
MacPhisto shakes his head for a moment at The Fly and turns...he gasps. BluePhisto has taken his black jacket off and is kneeling on one knee. She is smiling up at him.
"Bluey, dearest..." MacPhisto's blue eyes are wide with surprise. "What are you doing?"
"I thought it was obvious...I'm proposing to you." He drops his cigar on the floor and she reaches up, smiling, and takes his hand. MacPhisto's eyebrows shoot up and he smiles so widely that his face hurts. For the first time in his life, he blushes. He wants to say so many things to her right now, but they all collide into a lump in his throat.
BluePhisto slips the gold ring that he left in his coat pocket onto his trembling finger. She speaks softly to him. "Mac, I don't care if you are a devil or an angel or anything in between...I love you, and I don't ever want to be without you again. Ever. Will you marry me?"
He is so overwhelmed that he can barely answer. He has gone in one day from being sure he will never be with her again, to being offered the chance to never have to be without her.
"Yes." He pulls her up, takes her in his arms, and kisses her passionately, repeating between kisses: "Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes."
His hands on her bare arms undo the damage done in Hell, and when he opens his eyes and looks at her...she is beautiful, glowing, and happier than he has ever seen her.
MacPhisto grins down at his fianc?. "Have you ever made love to an angel?"
"Not yet."
He kisses her again and carries her into the bedroom, shutting the door...The ballroom is dark, and for a while, there is nothing but peace and happiness in the mansion.