The Bible

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MissZooropa

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I'm now reading Flanagans, U2 - At the end of the world again. I read it a couple of years ago and loved it then. But when I read it now I understand that my english has improven alot cause it's a totally different book now.
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Well, to the point. Everyone that have read it says that they laugh out load reading it so I just thought that can't we collect the quotes that hit us the most while reading it.

Yesterday I read about U2 attending a show with... Ahh, of course I forgot who. Oh well, at least the guy invites the HIV positive Michael Johnson (basketballplayer) onstage to sing Sex machine with him. Bono says in surprise:
" Sex machine? Well, he can be a sex machine, but for God sake use a condom"

I was in bed while reading this and I just started to laugh so hard. It's such a typical comment from Bono. I could really see him saying it, so serious and surprised.

So, what made you laugh??

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"U2 on it?s own is a very interesting group and all. But U2 with it?s audience is a culture" - Bono

"That's ok, in Sweden we don't wear underpants" ~ Bono, June 11th -92, Stockholm, Globen

"The only thing louder then a U2 gig is the people who comes to a U2 gig" ~Bono
 
There are alot of moments that I could write about here but the funniest would have to have been when they were waiting to go to mexico ...waiting...waiting... everybody was at the airport and the car was ready to go but nobody told them to 'get into the car' so they just sat there! When they eventually got in the limo bono was trying to change channels on the tv but it was stuck on a self-help commercial. He gave up trying and handed the remote to Edge to figure it out. Every time edge changed the channel it went back to the commercial. They were oblivious to the fact that Larry was clicking the remote control next to him each time they changed it. In the end they gave up!
I wonder if Larry ever told them it was him??
cheeky boy!!



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'well...2 years and finally we make it down the end of the yellow brick road to sydney australia...' Bono Zoo TV
 
When those people were telling Bono to get out of their house, and Bono had no pants on.
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Trust In God...But Lock Your Doors

[This message has been edited by Bonochick (edited 09-10-2001).]
 
Okay, this is a bit of a spoiler for those new to the Flanagan bible, but they're too funny not to pass along:

Bill (the author) goes out drinking (what else?) with the guys the night before Edge has to fly to LA to do the live version of "Numb" on the VMA's for MTV (another VMA, back when they were worth something), and they all proceed to get toasted. While walking back to the hotel with Bono, Bono is being all goofy and crazy, like he is prone to do, and at one point, tries to get Bill to do the "Monkee walk" with him like the Monkees used to do at the beginning of their TV show! ("Here we come?walkin down the street?")
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He then darts out into the street, oblivious to oncoming traffic, and Bill *immediately* sobers up enough to grab Bono and yank him out of what might have been certain death!
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Bill says: "Imagine if I hadn't. At the funeral, everyone would be asking me what Bono's final words were, and I'd have to tell them "Hey, hey, we're the Monkees, and people say we monkey around."
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LOL!!

The other hilarious bit (which I don?t' remember verbatim) was the story of Edge and the Secret of The Universe," where Edge scarfs down a bunch of mushrooms, has an out of body experience, is given the secret of the universe, and?being the very smart person we all know him to be?has the wherewithall to record said Secret on his Dictaphone/Walkman recorder. However, when he wakes up the next day and remembers he recordd this fabulous secret, he runs to his Walkman, plays it back only to find?complete gibberish. He'd either recorded it upside down, or was incoheent while recording but he can't understand one word of it!!!
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Disco
 
Okay, this is a bit of a spoiler for those new to the Flanagan bible, but they're too funny not to pass along:

Bill (the author) goes out drinking (what else?) with the guys the night before Edge has to fly to LA to do the live version of "Numb" on the VMA's for MTV (another VMA, back when they were worth something), and they all proceed to get toasted. While walking back to the hotel with Bono, Bono is being all goofy and crazy, like he is prone to do, and at one point, tries to get Bill to do the "Monkee walk" with him like the Monkees used to do at the beginning of their TV show! ("Here we come?walkin down the street?")
smile.gif
He then darts out into the street, oblivious to oncoming traffic, and Bill *immediately* sobers up enough to grab Bono and yank him out of what might have been certain death!
frown.gif
Bill says: "Imagine if I hadn't. At the funeral, everyone would be asking me what Bono's final words were, and I'd have to tell them "Hey, hey, we're the Monkees, and people say we monkey around."
biggrin.gif
LOL!!

The other hilarious bit (which I don?t' remember verbatim) was the story of Edge and the Secret of The Universe," where Edge scarfs down a bunch of mushrooms, has an out of body experience, is given the secret of the universe, and?being the very smart person we all know him to be?has the wherewithall to record said Secret on his Dictaphone/Walkman recorder. However, when he wakes up the next day and remembers he recordd this fabulous secret, he runs to his Walkman, plays it back only to find?complete gibberish. He'd either recorded it upside down, or was incoheent while recording but he can't understand one word of it!!!
biggrin.gif
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Disco
 
Originally posted by Discoteque:
Okay, this is a bit of a spoiler for those new to the Flanagan bible, but they're too funny not to pass along:

Bill (the author) goes out drinking (what else?) with the guys the night before Edge has to fly to LA to do the live version of "Numb" on the VMA's for MTV (another VMA, back when they were worth something), and they all proceed to get toasted. While walking back to the hotel with Bono, Bono is being all goofy and crazy, like he is prone to do, and at one point, tries to get Bill to do the "Monkee walk" with him like the Monkees used to do at the beginning of their TV show! ("Here we come?walkin down the street?")
smile.gif
He then darts out into the street, oblivious to oncoming traffic, and Bill *immediately* sobers up enough to grab Bono and yank him out of what might have been certain death!
frown.gif
Bill says: "Imagine if I hadn't. At the funeral, everyone would be asking me what Bono's final words were, and I'd have to tell them "Hey, hey, we're the Monkees, and people say we monkey around."
biggrin.gif
LOL!!

The other hilarious bit (which I don?t' remember verbatim) was the story of Edge and the Secret of The Universe," where Edge scarfs down a bunch of mushrooms, has an out of body experience, is given the secret of the universe, and?being the very smart person we all know him to be?has the wherewithall to record said Secret on his Dictaphone/Walkman recorder. However, when he wakes up the next day and remembers he recordd this fabulous secret, he runs to his Walkman, plays it back only to find?complete gibberish. He'd either recorded it upside down, or was incoheent while recording but he can't understand one word of it!!!
biggrin.gif
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Disco

lol! O my BabyBono! be careful! next time. In the days Bono and I were swinging in the trees we were the MONKEES! (We stole honey from a swarm of bees)
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that Edge story sounds like something off the cartoon network (minus the hallucinogens....) Poor Edgey!
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~*Mona*~
"I'd like to thank you for letting me rub up against you!" ~Bono~

"Hold me....thrill me...kiss me....kill me...*sexually suggestive noises*"
 
Originally posted by Bonochick:
When those people were telling Bono to get out of their house, and Bono had no pants on.
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whoa I literally almost fell out of my chair. *AHEM* I must get this book. I'm 5 pgs into the color purple for english class but it traumatized me. This U2 bible sounds much safer
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~*Mona*~
"I'd like to thank you for letting me rub up against you!" ~Bono~

"Hold me....thrill me...kiss me....kill me...*sexually suggestive noises*"
 
Sigh. I'm just gonna start calling you MOAN-a. Hehehehe....
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Yeah, Boner, er, BONO without pants is on the very FIRST PAGE of chapter one!!! OMG, I about croaked when I started reading...if that doesn't hook you, I don't know what will.
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*mmm...thinks about Bono clad in only a t-shirt...and no pants...pant pant pant*

oh dear. time for another cold shower.
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Originally posted by Discoteque:
He then darts out into the street, oblivious to oncoming traffic, and Bill *immediately* sobers up enough to grab Bono and yank him out of what might have been certain death!
frown.gif
Bill says: "Imagine if I hadn't. At the funeral, everyone would be asking me what Bono's final words were, and I'd have to tell them "Hey, hey, we're the Monkees, and people say we monkey around."
biggrin.gif
LOL!!

Hmmm... Did this happened twice?? Cause I just read another story of Bill and Bono walking home early in the morning when Bono walks out in the street and Bill has to save him and he thinks about what he has to answer on the question of what Bono?s last word was. But it was something else cause it wasn't about Monkee?s for sure!
Can someone look it up that have the book nearby, I'm at work myself. It's pretty early in the book, probably in the first 50 pages.

Sara



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"U2 on it?s own is a very interesting group and all. But U2 with it?s audience is a culture" - Bono

"That's ok, in Sweden we don't wear underpants" ~ Bono, June 11th -92, Stockholm, Globen

"The only thing louder then a U2 gig is the people who comes to a U2 gig" ~Bono
 
Is anybody else wondering if Larry ever found that letter where he is describes as inflatable??? I think Edge really got a kick out of this one
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Another great moment is when Naomi Cmpbell walked into a glass door after having a tamdrum and Adam just says: "That?ll staighten her out." So cool!!!

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"The bass player's got it. The bass player's fucking got it." Bono, Boston 6-9-01
 
One of my favorite stories is when Bono wants more whiskey to drink, sees a big ship in the harbor and says "The US Navy!! They'll know me! They'll give us whiskey!" and he takes a row boat out to the ship and starts banging on the side of it with his oar shouting "WE WANT WHISKEY!" Can you just picture him banging on the side of a huge Naval ship like that?? Turns out it was not the US Navy at all...but the French Navy, who were not amused...but Bono safely gets away!!!
 
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