Sad_Girl
Blue Crack Supplier
U2, unfortunately, are not mine. They are real people who I have written about here in a fictional situation that never happened. I don’t have their permission to use their likenesses, but I make no money from the story and it really is just all meant in good fun. Remember, please, that this is just a twisting, turning story out of my imagination which should not reflect upon the band or the individuals within it. It’s only make-believe. There will be some adult themes within this story, and almost undoubtedly a lot of offensive language. Read at your own discretion.
Catalina Chronicles Book 4:
Someone else’s dream
Chapter Six
Loneliness
is a place that I know well
it’s the distance between us
and the space inside ourselves
and emptiness....
Is the chattering in your head
It's the call of the living
and the race from life to death
from ‘Loneliness’ by Annie Lennox
Adam was sound asleep on the bed, the blankets pulled aside but not covering him, a small bedside lamp still glowing, a book open and resting against his chest as if he had thought only to rest his eyes for a moment. Cat shed her jacket and left it on the floor where it fell. She stepped out of her shoes and shimmied out of her jeans, climbing up on the bed eagerly.
She slipped the book out of his hands gently and leaned in to brush a whispery kiss over his mouth. She loved Adam’s mouth! That sexy, full lower lip of his was the epitome of temptation in Cat’s opinion. He jumped slightly, startled by her intimate invasion of his breathing space, but quickly smiled as he recognized the situation.
“Welcome home,” he murmured, his breath tickling her lips. Cat lifted heavy eyelids to see his incredibly blue eyes open and looking back at her now. She smiled wickedly at him, letting him know exactly what was on her mind without having to utter a word. He let out a low sigh of pleasure at the very thought, his eyes immediately shifting down to gaze at her lips.
With the slightest tilt of his face, he closed the distance between them, their mouths melding in a dance of desire. It was clear tonight that Cat was the one taking the lead. Adam leaned back against the headboard, submitting to her onslaught of kisses and love bites without complaint.
“Productive night at the studio?” He asked with a seductive chuckle to let her know he was loving every minute of her method of waking him. Cat didn’t reply with words, instead she lowered her hips to grind herself against him, her head falling back, her long hair touching the soles of her feet.
“I need you,” She murmured as she began to rock against him only slightly more gently. “Please, Adam! Please…” she begged, completely breathless. Adam was surprised, but not unpleasantly, at her aggressive advances.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“It had been way too long,” she told him as they caught their breath. He smiled and murmured a note of agreement, his face buried in her hair and the crook of her neck. There certainly had not been much time spent like this since the baby was born, but they had both been so busy that Adam had barely realized it. It surprised him now, to think of it; he had always been a man of voracious sexual appetite.
He rolled aside but pulled her up against the length of him, still needing to be in close contact with her. The fact that he was so content in their marriage that he hadn’t been going crazy with desire was a sign of the sincerity of their love, in his mind. He’d certainly never had that with any other woman.
“You’ll just have to keep me in line better from now on,” he told her playfully as he reached behind him to turn off the lamp.
“I’ll do that,” she replied quietly as he kissed her on the corner of her mouth, settling into bed sleepily. She chewed on her lower lip nervously and lay in his arms, wishing she could shake the slightly guilty feeling that was oozing out of the deep dark corners of her mind. She had nothing to feel bad about, after all. She hadn’t done anything wrong.
She had already been wound tight with sexual frustration before spending the night in a pub with Larry. He had nothing to do with the urgent need she had felt to make love to Adam.
When she finally began to doze, she dreamt that there was a third person in the room, sitting in the corner chair and watching them sleep. She knew he was there but refused to look at him, because she did not want to see those steel blue eyes judging her.
*********************************************************
The red light of the alarm clocks digital numbers and the occasional glow from the burning end of a cigarette were the only lights in the otherwise black room. Simone crushed out the remnants of her fourth smoke and stared at those numbers with a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach.
2:48 A.M.
Larry had, occasionally, stayed out all night or most of the night when the band got together to work on new songs, but she had talked to both Edge and Adam earlier and neither had seen Larry all evening. Bono was, as usual, with Edge at his house.
She lit another cigarette and brushed away the tears welling in her eyes. She was probably just being selfish, she scolded herself. She wanted him to be there for her, to hold her and assure her that everything would be all right. The truth was that he was struggling as much or more with this Toby situation than she was.
She wished she could find a way to do the right thing and still make everyone happy. Despite the way he’d broken her heart, Simone could not bring herself to hate Toby. He had been immature and self-centered, but he was here, now, trying to make amends. She didn’t want him back or anything, she shuddered at the thought. She did think it was only fair that a father and a son should have a chance to know one another.
Larry shouldn’t feel threatened; Pauley adored him as much now as he had since they first met. Larry had immediately filled a void in Pauley’s life which he had not been responsible for. He was Pauley’s father in more ways than Toby could ever dream of being.
Pauley had been very excited to meet Toby, who he knew about only from the television show. She wasn’t sure he entirely understood what she had tried to explain about him being Pauley’s genetic father, at first. It was when he had asked her, in front of Larry, when his dad was coming to meet him that she realized he understood more than she’d given him credit for.
She had immediately glanced over at Larry, cringing inwardly. Larry had remained characteristically silent, but Simone had seen the hurt in his steel blue eyes. He was not as invulnerable as he liked people to think; his tough-guy act was exactly that, an act.
In the nearly perfect silence, Simone could hear the engine of the Harley from a long way off. So when she heard the front door slam closed without the warning of his approach, she was both surprised and concerned.
Uncertain about the situation, she remained seated on the bed, waiting. It was only a few minutes before she heard the familiar sound of his footsteps at the doorway to their bedroom. She heard him bump into the wall, muttering curses under his breath, and realized why she hadn’t heard the motorcycle’s roaring engine.
“You need some help?” She asked weakly. He was nearing fall-down drunk, but at least he’d had the sense to get a ride home.
“No,” he told her sharply, stumbling through the darkness to collapse on the bed hard enough that the whole thing shook beneath them.
“I was starting to think you weren’t going to come home tonight,” she told him after a tense moment of silence.
“Why not? It’s me own fookin’ house,” he replied, his accent so thick and his words slurring so much that she could barely understand him. “Unless the contractor that built it has come ‘round wanting a chance to live here or something,” he added bitterly.
Simone bit her tongue. There was no point in arguing with him right then, not in the condition he was in. She brushed a stray tear off her cheek and mashed out her barely smoked cigarette with a sigh.
“Are you going to get under the covers?” She finally asked, but was answered only by a gentle snoring. She untied his motorcycle boots and slipped them off, then covered him up with a spare blanket before retreating to Lorna’s room to sleep on the sofa on which she had spent many nights over the course of the last year.
*************************************************************
Cat smiled at Adam when he opened the door and held it for herself and Trine, and loved the way he placed his hand on the small of her back as they entered the building where the studio was located. She had been woken that morning much the same way she had woken him the night before, and now she was floating in a haze of love and satisfaction.
Her contentment was blown away like a pile of autumn leaves in a strong wind, however, the moment they stepped into the studio itself and heard what the others were working on.
“I-I’ve got me a dirty little secret…” Bono’s voice cut through her like a knife.
“What are you doing?” She demanded, rushing in to the studio and grabbing her notebook, pulling it out of Bono’s hands. Krash and Edge both stopped strumming their guitars to stare up at her in surprise, and as Larry stopped drumming the echo was the only sound.
“We were taking a look at your new song,” Bono told her. “I didn’t realize it was confidential, top-secret information.” He attempted to sound playful, but his voice was tainted with dismay. Cat held her breath and counted to ten, trying to reign in her temper. She couldn’t make a big deal out of this song. That would be the worst thing she could do, and she may already have revealed too much.
“Sorry,” she muttered, lowering her head to study the page, her hair obscuring her face from their sight. “it’s just… it’s not ready yet.”
“It’s a great start, though, Cat! The best thing you’ve written in awhile,” Krash told her, trying to be encouraging.
“I liked what I heard,” Trine agreed. Adding “It’s very ‘I want you to want me’ .”
“I tried to tell her that last night,” Larry piped in, rising from behind the drums and stretching his slender frame. Cat forced herself to look away when his shirt lifted to reveal a peek at his flat belly, including the line of fine blonde hair leading from his navel down under the waist band of his jeans.
“Give it a go, Cat,” Bono urged, nodding toward the mic stand. “God knows our songs start out a lot rougher than they end up on the record.”
Cat pursed her lips and racked her brain for a way out of it, but no matter how hard she searched, she could see no escape. She pointed out a couple of changes to the melody for Krash and gave Trine a basic starting point for a bass line.
I-I’ve got me a dirty little secret…” she sang the words she already knew by heart, studying the notebook only because she didn’t want to look at any of them. She wished she had taken the book home, or that she had never written the words in the first place. Music had always been a way to vent her demons; but she thought perhaps this was one demon that should have been kept bottled up.
“… making love to him these days, I close my eyes and it’s you I see,
don’t get me wrong, I love him and I’ll never leave
but you’re in my head, in the deepest darkest part
I never wanted to think of you, I know it isn’t smart
So now you know, you’re my dirty little secret
I just had to show you my dirty little secret…” she sang, her voice reflecting every ounce of angst the words held. She sang the chorus, leading into the bridge, her voice growing bolder just as befitted the song. She managed to steal a glance in Larry’s direction to see him scowling at her. She knew too well that it was the next lines which would draw the line between them again. Maybe, though, that was a good thing. Being too close to him was dangerous.
“You’ve been with her for so long, you could’ve told her by now
but it’s something that either your head or heart can’t allow
she doesn’t know how you feel about me, oh I know it’s true
I – I’m your dirty little secret too!”
Larry’s brow furrowed as he listened to Cat’s song, and as he heard the words, his stomach twisted into knots and his heart raced with anxiety. There was no way this song meant what it seemed to. He realized he was clenching his hands into fists and forced himself to relax them. He was tired, hung over, and upset over the way things were going with Simone. He had to be reading too much into Cat’s song.
She glanced up at him, her green eyes shimmering and he swore he saw a memory reflected in them. A memory of pressing his body against hers, pinning her to the wall and kissing her with all of the repressed passion he had felt for her in those early days.
“Let me hate you,” he had begged her. He needed to hate her so that he didn’t fall in love with her, she was already Adam’s. She had been Adam’s since the moment they met. There had been so much that happened since then; he’d met Simone and fallen in love with her. He’d been there when Cat had given birth to Adam’s son! Somewhere along the way he’d forgotten to hate her.
He gathered up all of his riotous emotions and tucked them all away, deep inside himself the way he had learned to do after he’d lost his mother. He had made a mistake by letting his guard down, by being her friend. It hurt too much; and it had the potential to destroy everything important in his life and the lives of his friends.
The others were all applauding her, praising her song.
“Is there something I should be worried about?” Adam joked, and Cat blanched, shaking her head weakly.
“I thought of it after watching some TV show one night. Some trashy soap opera like footballer’s wives or something,” she lied. Everyone else was happy enough believing her, but Larry knew when she was lying, and he knew why. He also knew what he had to do.
He had to learn to hate her again.
if you want the unedited scene from the beginning of this chapter, just let me know
Catalina Chronicles Book 4:
Someone else’s dream
Chapter Six
Loneliness
is a place that I know well
it’s the distance between us
and the space inside ourselves
and emptiness....
Is the chattering in your head
It's the call of the living
and the race from life to death
from ‘Loneliness’ by Annie Lennox
Adam was sound asleep on the bed, the blankets pulled aside but not covering him, a small bedside lamp still glowing, a book open and resting against his chest as if he had thought only to rest his eyes for a moment. Cat shed her jacket and left it on the floor where it fell. She stepped out of her shoes and shimmied out of her jeans, climbing up on the bed eagerly.
She slipped the book out of his hands gently and leaned in to brush a whispery kiss over his mouth. She loved Adam’s mouth! That sexy, full lower lip of his was the epitome of temptation in Cat’s opinion. He jumped slightly, startled by her intimate invasion of his breathing space, but quickly smiled as he recognized the situation.
“Welcome home,” he murmured, his breath tickling her lips. Cat lifted heavy eyelids to see his incredibly blue eyes open and looking back at her now. She smiled wickedly at him, letting him know exactly what was on her mind without having to utter a word. He let out a low sigh of pleasure at the very thought, his eyes immediately shifting down to gaze at her lips.
With the slightest tilt of his face, he closed the distance between them, their mouths melding in a dance of desire. It was clear tonight that Cat was the one taking the lead. Adam leaned back against the headboard, submitting to her onslaught of kisses and love bites without complaint.
“Productive night at the studio?” He asked with a seductive chuckle to let her know he was loving every minute of her method of waking him. Cat didn’t reply with words, instead she lowered her hips to grind herself against him, her head falling back, her long hair touching the soles of her feet.
“I need you,” She murmured as she began to rock against him only slightly more gently. “Please, Adam! Please…” she begged, completely breathless. Adam was surprised, but not unpleasantly, at her aggressive advances.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“It had been way too long,” she told him as they caught their breath. He smiled and murmured a note of agreement, his face buried in her hair and the crook of her neck. There certainly had not been much time spent like this since the baby was born, but they had both been so busy that Adam had barely realized it. It surprised him now, to think of it; he had always been a man of voracious sexual appetite.
He rolled aside but pulled her up against the length of him, still needing to be in close contact with her. The fact that he was so content in their marriage that he hadn’t been going crazy with desire was a sign of the sincerity of their love, in his mind. He’d certainly never had that with any other woman.
“You’ll just have to keep me in line better from now on,” he told her playfully as he reached behind him to turn off the lamp.
“I’ll do that,” she replied quietly as he kissed her on the corner of her mouth, settling into bed sleepily. She chewed on her lower lip nervously and lay in his arms, wishing she could shake the slightly guilty feeling that was oozing out of the deep dark corners of her mind. She had nothing to feel bad about, after all. She hadn’t done anything wrong.
She had already been wound tight with sexual frustration before spending the night in a pub with Larry. He had nothing to do with the urgent need she had felt to make love to Adam.
When she finally began to doze, she dreamt that there was a third person in the room, sitting in the corner chair and watching them sleep. She knew he was there but refused to look at him, because she did not want to see those steel blue eyes judging her.
*********************************************************
The red light of the alarm clocks digital numbers and the occasional glow from the burning end of a cigarette were the only lights in the otherwise black room. Simone crushed out the remnants of her fourth smoke and stared at those numbers with a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach.
2:48 A.M.
Larry had, occasionally, stayed out all night or most of the night when the band got together to work on new songs, but she had talked to both Edge and Adam earlier and neither had seen Larry all evening. Bono was, as usual, with Edge at his house.
She lit another cigarette and brushed away the tears welling in her eyes. She was probably just being selfish, she scolded herself. She wanted him to be there for her, to hold her and assure her that everything would be all right. The truth was that he was struggling as much or more with this Toby situation than she was.
She wished she could find a way to do the right thing and still make everyone happy. Despite the way he’d broken her heart, Simone could not bring herself to hate Toby. He had been immature and self-centered, but he was here, now, trying to make amends. She didn’t want him back or anything, she shuddered at the thought. She did think it was only fair that a father and a son should have a chance to know one another.
Larry shouldn’t feel threatened; Pauley adored him as much now as he had since they first met. Larry had immediately filled a void in Pauley’s life which he had not been responsible for. He was Pauley’s father in more ways than Toby could ever dream of being.
Pauley had been very excited to meet Toby, who he knew about only from the television show. She wasn’t sure he entirely understood what she had tried to explain about him being Pauley’s genetic father, at first. It was when he had asked her, in front of Larry, when his dad was coming to meet him that she realized he understood more than she’d given him credit for.
She had immediately glanced over at Larry, cringing inwardly. Larry had remained characteristically silent, but Simone had seen the hurt in his steel blue eyes. He was not as invulnerable as he liked people to think; his tough-guy act was exactly that, an act.
In the nearly perfect silence, Simone could hear the engine of the Harley from a long way off. So when she heard the front door slam closed without the warning of his approach, she was both surprised and concerned.
Uncertain about the situation, she remained seated on the bed, waiting. It was only a few minutes before she heard the familiar sound of his footsteps at the doorway to their bedroom. She heard him bump into the wall, muttering curses under his breath, and realized why she hadn’t heard the motorcycle’s roaring engine.
“You need some help?” She asked weakly. He was nearing fall-down drunk, but at least he’d had the sense to get a ride home.
“No,” he told her sharply, stumbling through the darkness to collapse on the bed hard enough that the whole thing shook beneath them.
“I was starting to think you weren’t going to come home tonight,” she told him after a tense moment of silence.
“Why not? It’s me own fookin’ house,” he replied, his accent so thick and his words slurring so much that she could barely understand him. “Unless the contractor that built it has come ‘round wanting a chance to live here or something,” he added bitterly.
Simone bit her tongue. There was no point in arguing with him right then, not in the condition he was in. She brushed a stray tear off her cheek and mashed out her barely smoked cigarette with a sigh.
“Are you going to get under the covers?” She finally asked, but was answered only by a gentle snoring. She untied his motorcycle boots and slipped them off, then covered him up with a spare blanket before retreating to Lorna’s room to sleep on the sofa on which she had spent many nights over the course of the last year.
*************************************************************
Cat smiled at Adam when he opened the door and held it for herself and Trine, and loved the way he placed his hand on the small of her back as they entered the building where the studio was located. She had been woken that morning much the same way she had woken him the night before, and now she was floating in a haze of love and satisfaction.
Her contentment was blown away like a pile of autumn leaves in a strong wind, however, the moment they stepped into the studio itself and heard what the others were working on.
“I-I’ve got me a dirty little secret…” Bono’s voice cut through her like a knife.
“What are you doing?” She demanded, rushing in to the studio and grabbing her notebook, pulling it out of Bono’s hands. Krash and Edge both stopped strumming their guitars to stare up at her in surprise, and as Larry stopped drumming the echo was the only sound.
“We were taking a look at your new song,” Bono told her. “I didn’t realize it was confidential, top-secret information.” He attempted to sound playful, but his voice was tainted with dismay. Cat held her breath and counted to ten, trying to reign in her temper. She couldn’t make a big deal out of this song. That would be the worst thing she could do, and she may already have revealed too much.
“Sorry,” she muttered, lowering her head to study the page, her hair obscuring her face from their sight. “it’s just… it’s not ready yet.”
“It’s a great start, though, Cat! The best thing you’ve written in awhile,” Krash told her, trying to be encouraging.
“I liked what I heard,” Trine agreed. Adding “It’s very ‘I want you to want me’ .”
“I tried to tell her that last night,” Larry piped in, rising from behind the drums and stretching his slender frame. Cat forced herself to look away when his shirt lifted to reveal a peek at his flat belly, including the line of fine blonde hair leading from his navel down under the waist band of his jeans.
“Give it a go, Cat,” Bono urged, nodding toward the mic stand. “God knows our songs start out a lot rougher than they end up on the record.”
Cat pursed her lips and racked her brain for a way out of it, but no matter how hard she searched, she could see no escape. She pointed out a couple of changes to the melody for Krash and gave Trine a basic starting point for a bass line.
I-I’ve got me a dirty little secret…” she sang the words she already knew by heart, studying the notebook only because she didn’t want to look at any of them. She wished she had taken the book home, or that she had never written the words in the first place. Music had always been a way to vent her demons; but she thought perhaps this was one demon that should have been kept bottled up.
“… making love to him these days, I close my eyes and it’s you I see,
don’t get me wrong, I love him and I’ll never leave
but you’re in my head, in the deepest darkest part
I never wanted to think of you, I know it isn’t smart
So now you know, you’re my dirty little secret
I just had to show you my dirty little secret…” she sang, her voice reflecting every ounce of angst the words held. She sang the chorus, leading into the bridge, her voice growing bolder just as befitted the song. She managed to steal a glance in Larry’s direction to see him scowling at her. She knew too well that it was the next lines which would draw the line between them again. Maybe, though, that was a good thing. Being too close to him was dangerous.
“You’ve been with her for so long, you could’ve told her by now
but it’s something that either your head or heart can’t allow
she doesn’t know how you feel about me, oh I know it’s true
I – I’m your dirty little secret too!”
Larry’s brow furrowed as he listened to Cat’s song, and as he heard the words, his stomach twisted into knots and his heart raced with anxiety. There was no way this song meant what it seemed to. He realized he was clenching his hands into fists and forced himself to relax them. He was tired, hung over, and upset over the way things were going with Simone. He had to be reading too much into Cat’s song.
She glanced up at him, her green eyes shimmering and he swore he saw a memory reflected in them. A memory of pressing his body against hers, pinning her to the wall and kissing her with all of the repressed passion he had felt for her in those early days.
“Let me hate you,” he had begged her. He needed to hate her so that he didn’t fall in love with her, she was already Adam’s. She had been Adam’s since the moment they met. There had been so much that happened since then; he’d met Simone and fallen in love with her. He’d been there when Cat had given birth to Adam’s son! Somewhere along the way he’d forgotten to hate her.
He gathered up all of his riotous emotions and tucked them all away, deep inside himself the way he had learned to do after he’d lost his mother. He had made a mistake by letting his guard down, by being her friend. It hurt too much; and it had the potential to destroy everything important in his life and the lives of his friends.
The others were all applauding her, praising her song.
“Is there something I should be worried about?” Adam joked, and Cat blanched, shaking her head weakly.
“I thought of it after watching some TV show one night. Some trashy soap opera like footballer’s wives or something,” she lied. Everyone else was happy enough believing her, but Larry knew when she was lying, and he knew why. He also knew what he had to do.
He had to learn to hate her again.
if you want the unedited scene from the beginning of this chapter, just let me know
I'm not sure if I'm gonna like what gonna happen! Poor Simone and Adam!
thanks for the email 
Excellent work SG. I love the way you take the story and make it so unpredictable. You leave us at the "edge" of our seat. No one does it better
to the extended chapter
