susannag75
The Fly
DISCLAIMER: Everything is pure invention... I don't know the members of U2, I don't make money from this... just for fun of writing. PG-13 for themes, and some... bad words.
Here we are - chapter 2. Let me know if you liked it. Hope so.
Reality check - Chapter 2
I come back to the hotel at late evening. We are supposed to be at an award ceremony but I have no rush to get ready on time. I cannot give a damn about it. Many things seem to have been losing importance lately. I still put all of myself in what I do, but it feels a lot different. I don’t know why I am doing this anymore. It all has lost its sense.
The present and the time of no more are the measures I have to take into account now. The present is something I live for. The time of no more… it will come, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to recognize it.
Space and time… they are just categories from some philosophical dissertation.
I could spend all day sitting in a park, far away from home… and in the evening I would not realize how I got there or how I could possibly have stayed there until dark.
Too many things to do… too few hours a day… These are the moments in which I would love to call Ali. She’s so strong… but I cannot. It would not make sense. She could not help me with this thing. It would be too much to ask her to understand.
I miss Edge’s advices… I miss him comforting me. I miss him spending time caring about me. I miss them all. I would like to confide in them. But this thing is about me, and me alone. I cannot burden them with my own matters.
Many people from our entourage are drinking in the lounge and as soon as they see me, they all start talking in a low voice, glancing at me with strange faces.
“Hey Bono, where have you been all day long? People have been looking for you, you know.” Edge stands right in front of me.
“Oh, just some sort of business meetings… foundraising and such kind of stuff.” I try to answer as plainly as I can, although I know that my voice is betraying some kind of emotion in me… I must pay attention.
Edge comes nearer to me. He now speaks in my ear.
“May I just point out to you that your shirt is upside down? And, erm… a bit… dirty with… lipstick, I dare say?”
“Lipst… what?” I pass a hand on my neck and my shirt and I find it quite dirty in pink. “Oh, maybe someone who kissed me goodbye at the meeting, I guess. So what?” I say, genuinely surprised at him pointing that out to me. We’re always covered in some stranger’s lipstick, aren’t we?
“So nothing. Just, people are looking at you. You can’t come out like this. Wouldn’t you just go and get a change of clothes? We need to go in a little time.”
“Yes, of course. Just give me a minute.” He was so strange… what was that he was thinking about before? What were they all thinking about? I wonder if they might have found out the truth. No, it’s impossible… I’ve paid attention. I think I did everything with care.
I need to get ready as soon as I can… Edge seemed to be quite upset with me. Hell, this life is becoming too much hard for me…
I quickly dress and go downstairs to meet the others.
They look at me and I can see such coldness in their eyes. I am shocked at this.
Even if they knew, why would they be so distant? It is not my fault. Things like this just happen, sometimes. No, it can’t be this. Probably I am just getting too much suspicious. I’ll try to lighten the mood.
“Let’s go collect our prize people!” I just say, trooper-style, and try to smile.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I sit next to you in this car and you don’t say a fucking word. What the hell is on your mind? I’m afraid to ask.
You went out and came back with a lipstick mark on your shirt. You acted as you did not know about it. I don’t believe you, Bono, you’ve always been a bad liar.
I always felt like I could trust you… I thought I could read your mind. What happened, Bono? Why are you doing this to me? Why are you doing this to her?
I look at you, and I see you got asleep, your head on the car window and not on my shoulder as usual. Why are you afraid of getting near to me? You normally would lean on me and have a childish, peaceful look on your face. Now you don’t. You look older than you are... it’s quite some time that I would like to tell you. I can’t stop thinking about this. Everything just seems to work out as a piece of a puzzle.
“We’ve arrived, Bono.” I gently call you, touching your shoulder.
I’m sure you wiped a tear before turning towards me with a smile. It makes my heart sink.
I can’t forget who you are. You might have done whatever stupid thing, but you are always my friend Bono, the one who needs me to care about him…
We collect our prize, and you are happy as a four-years old on his birthday. It seems like you are a completely different person now.
As soon as they call out our names, you are the Bono I know again; you scream, you jump, you hug us and talk brilliantly.
You seem to enjoy every moment of it. I love it when you’re like this. You bring life to me, Bono. You are the lymph and we are the leaves. I need your crazy ways, your exaggerations. I need you to bring your lively ego into every song, every show, everything we do. I like you when you’re noisy and annoying. You’re Bono, and you must be like this.
But just when I was starting to think I had gotten terribly wrong, you come next to me.
“Edge, I have to go back to the hotel. I’m waiting for a call from abroad and all my papers are there. Please would you tell the others?”
“Bono, I thought we had agreed that your matters would not interfere with our job… Do you really NEED to go?”
“Listen, it is only for this time. Please.”
I don’t want to make an issue of this in public. If it’s just for this time…
“OK, I’ll tell them. We’ll talk about this later. I’m sure Larry will have many things to shout at you.”
“I’ll take it, I just cannot stay.” You say. The look in your eyes makes me shiver. Such a dry, cutting gaze. Your eyes have darkened. You are worried, I know. I’d say you’re scared. What do you have to do? Will you see her?
I have to use my best diplomatic abilities to break the news to Larry and to prevent him from running straight to you and killing you… People around ask about you, and we try any sort of excuse. We soon get tired of that and go back to the hotel.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“This is really something he shouldn’t have done. It’s time to end this. He acts like a child. I won’t bear anything like this from him anymore…” I know Adam and Edge aren’t listening to me. They love your ways. They will just have a shout at you and then comfort you when you will put on the “oh-how-I’m-sorry-it’s-all-my-fault” face. But you will listen to me when I’ll be home, you fool. Just let me get you, and you’re lost. I can’t see you survive this time.
How can someone be so inconsiderate?
As soon as we get to the hotel, I literally storm to you.
“Larry please don’t be mad” Edge is shouting at me but I’m already opening your room’s door.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” I burst at you. You are lying on your bed, and as soon as you get up and look at me, I can see you’ve been drinking.
“So, did you leave the three of us there alone just to came here and get drunk?” I’m nearly thinking I’m having a nightmare.
“I’m not drunk.” You just say, but you can’t even stand on your feet.
“What are you trying to do? You get drunk, you spend days away without telling anyone, your phone’s always switched off… we’re in the middle of a tour and you’re fucking things up. I warn you – your wife will get to the truth…” I did not want to say that… yet, I’m happy it went out.
“My wife what?” you seem surprised. “What are you talking about?”
“Don’t play stupid with us.” I say, and my anger is growing. “Stop seeing her. Whoever she might be.”
“What? I’m not seeing anyone… what the hell... Edge, Adam, tell him something…” Your face’s turned red and you are clearly shaking. A statement of guilt, I think.
I look at the others. They think the same, and stare at you.
“Well, Bono, I think it is quite obvious to all of us. There’s no point in trying to deny it. Repair things until you can.” Adam is really great in staying cool. He tells things like I would if I had his self control, which I terribly lack I must admit.
“But…no, listen. You got it wrong… Wouldn’t you be listening to any of those… rumours?” You have somehow managed to get up and take a few steps back, as if you were afraid of us.
“Bono, it’s not just the rumours. You act strangely… I’ve seen you going around suspiciously. I’ve seen marks of lipstick on your shirt. You were as cold as stone with Ali the other day… Would you explain?” Edge is trying to take you back to reason, as usual. He gets near to you and tries to put his hand on your shoulder. You look out of your mind. I suddenly think I might have gone too far. I’m sure I hurt you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry Bono. Your eyes are filling with tears and I just don’t know what to do. Still, I think this time they caught you red handed. And it’s a serious issue, cheating on your wife of 23 years, the mother of your children.
You look at us searching for a friendly gaze but we are still coldly staring at you and you run out of the room. Nobody tries to stop you. I hope I won’t regret letting you go. Would you run to her?
“It’s not my fault… things like this happen…” you just say.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“I don’t know what to think, really.” Edge says looking at me.
I thought you were the icon of the perfect husband and father… now I’m not so sure about it anymore.
You seemed sincere in your outburst before, but I just cannot believe you right now. I’m not one who believes in coincidences… that rumour… you acting like this…
There’s a piece of folded paper on your bedside table. I take it. There’s a female writing on it, stating your name as the addressee. I open it. “Tuesday at 10 am. Laura.” Then, it’s true. You are seeing someone. Bono… why? If anything was wrong with Ali you should have talked about it to us… I can’t believe you are doing this just for lust. I know you too well… Either this, or I don’t know you at all.
I fold it again and put it in my pocket. I don’t want anyone else to see this. You’re really naïve. Maybe you just don’t have experiences of this. Didn’t you think about how many people could enter a hotel room during the day? No wonder the news was already on everyone’s mouth. I want to help you. You’re a man after all. She might just be gorgeous… Yes, I do understand you. Tomorrow I will follow you.
I try to be as discreet as possible. You walk quite fast and I have to stay far behind, as you turn often back to check no journalist is there.
You did not say a word this morning during breakfast. I could see that you were deeply in thought. You did not seem to have slept as well. Is your conscience getting back at you?
Meanwhile, we’ve arrived to your destination. I take a look at the place. A woman comes to open the front door for you. Will she be the one, I wonder. She is nice, yes but, really, not a beauty. I can see you walking with her through a windowed corridor. I come along holding my head under the windows. I hope no policemen are around… getting arrested in this situation would be quite embarrassing. I would have quite a lot to explain.
I hear you say “Hello, Laura.” I look up, and suddenly everything gets at its place in my mind.
I just wish I did not follow you today. I just wish I did not know.
I slowly start my journey back home.
I can’t confront you here in the streets. I even don’t know if I should tell the others. I am a lot angry with you. I would have preferred to hear this story from you. Why do you always mess up, Bono? Why can’t you act plainly as all humans do?
Well, it’s not all about you. I feel like shit.
Here we are - chapter 2. Let me know if you liked it. Hope so.
Reality check - Chapter 2
I come back to the hotel at late evening. We are supposed to be at an award ceremony but I have no rush to get ready on time. I cannot give a damn about it. Many things seem to have been losing importance lately. I still put all of myself in what I do, but it feels a lot different. I don’t know why I am doing this anymore. It all has lost its sense.
The present and the time of no more are the measures I have to take into account now. The present is something I live for. The time of no more… it will come, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to recognize it.
Space and time… they are just categories from some philosophical dissertation.
I could spend all day sitting in a park, far away from home… and in the evening I would not realize how I got there or how I could possibly have stayed there until dark.
Too many things to do… too few hours a day… These are the moments in which I would love to call Ali. She’s so strong… but I cannot. It would not make sense. She could not help me with this thing. It would be too much to ask her to understand.
I miss Edge’s advices… I miss him comforting me. I miss him spending time caring about me. I miss them all. I would like to confide in them. But this thing is about me, and me alone. I cannot burden them with my own matters.
Many people from our entourage are drinking in the lounge and as soon as they see me, they all start talking in a low voice, glancing at me with strange faces.
“Hey Bono, where have you been all day long? People have been looking for you, you know.” Edge stands right in front of me.
“Oh, just some sort of business meetings… foundraising and such kind of stuff.” I try to answer as plainly as I can, although I know that my voice is betraying some kind of emotion in me… I must pay attention.
Edge comes nearer to me. He now speaks in my ear.
“May I just point out to you that your shirt is upside down? And, erm… a bit… dirty with… lipstick, I dare say?”
“Lipst… what?” I pass a hand on my neck and my shirt and I find it quite dirty in pink. “Oh, maybe someone who kissed me goodbye at the meeting, I guess. So what?” I say, genuinely surprised at him pointing that out to me. We’re always covered in some stranger’s lipstick, aren’t we?
“So nothing. Just, people are looking at you. You can’t come out like this. Wouldn’t you just go and get a change of clothes? We need to go in a little time.”
“Yes, of course. Just give me a minute.” He was so strange… what was that he was thinking about before? What were they all thinking about? I wonder if they might have found out the truth. No, it’s impossible… I’ve paid attention. I think I did everything with care.
I need to get ready as soon as I can… Edge seemed to be quite upset with me. Hell, this life is becoming too much hard for me…
I quickly dress and go downstairs to meet the others.
They look at me and I can see such coldness in their eyes. I am shocked at this.
Even if they knew, why would they be so distant? It is not my fault. Things like this just happen, sometimes. No, it can’t be this. Probably I am just getting too much suspicious. I’ll try to lighten the mood.
“Let’s go collect our prize people!” I just say, trooper-style, and try to smile.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I sit next to you in this car and you don’t say a fucking word. What the hell is on your mind? I’m afraid to ask.
You went out and came back with a lipstick mark on your shirt. You acted as you did not know about it. I don’t believe you, Bono, you’ve always been a bad liar.
I always felt like I could trust you… I thought I could read your mind. What happened, Bono? Why are you doing this to me? Why are you doing this to her?
I look at you, and I see you got asleep, your head on the car window and not on my shoulder as usual. Why are you afraid of getting near to me? You normally would lean on me and have a childish, peaceful look on your face. Now you don’t. You look older than you are... it’s quite some time that I would like to tell you. I can’t stop thinking about this. Everything just seems to work out as a piece of a puzzle.
“We’ve arrived, Bono.” I gently call you, touching your shoulder.
I’m sure you wiped a tear before turning towards me with a smile. It makes my heart sink.
I can’t forget who you are. You might have done whatever stupid thing, but you are always my friend Bono, the one who needs me to care about him…
We collect our prize, and you are happy as a four-years old on his birthday. It seems like you are a completely different person now.
As soon as they call out our names, you are the Bono I know again; you scream, you jump, you hug us and talk brilliantly.
You seem to enjoy every moment of it. I love it when you’re like this. You bring life to me, Bono. You are the lymph and we are the leaves. I need your crazy ways, your exaggerations. I need you to bring your lively ego into every song, every show, everything we do. I like you when you’re noisy and annoying. You’re Bono, and you must be like this.
But just when I was starting to think I had gotten terribly wrong, you come next to me.
“Edge, I have to go back to the hotel. I’m waiting for a call from abroad and all my papers are there. Please would you tell the others?”
“Bono, I thought we had agreed that your matters would not interfere with our job… Do you really NEED to go?”
“Listen, it is only for this time. Please.”
I don’t want to make an issue of this in public. If it’s just for this time…
“OK, I’ll tell them. We’ll talk about this later. I’m sure Larry will have many things to shout at you.”
“I’ll take it, I just cannot stay.” You say. The look in your eyes makes me shiver. Such a dry, cutting gaze. Your eyes have darkened. You are worried, I know. I’d say you’re scared. What do you have to do? Will you see her?
I have to use my best diplomatic abilities to break the news to Larry and to prevent him from running straight to you and killing you… People around ask about you, and we try any sort of excuse. We soon get tired of that and go back to the hotel.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“This is really something he shouldn’t have done. It’s time to end this. He acts like a child. I won’t bear anything like this from him anymore…” I know Adam and Edge aren’t listening to me. They love your ways. They will just have a shout at you and then comfort you when you will put on the “oh-how-I’m-sorry-it’s-all-my-fault” face. But you will listen to me when I’ll be home, you fool. Just let me get you, and you’re lost. I can’t see you survive this time.
How can someone be so inconsiderate?
As soon as we get to the hotel, I literally storm to you.
“Larry please don’t be mad” Edge is shouting at me but I’m already opening your room’s door.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” I burst at you. You are lying on your bed, and as soon as you get up and look at me, I can see you’ve been drinking.
“So, did you leave the three of us there alone just to came here and get drunk?” I’m nearly thinking I’m having a nightmare.
“I’m not drunk.” You just say, but you can’t even stand on your feet.
“What are you trying to do? You get drunk, you spend days away without telling anyone, your phone’s always switched off… we’re in the middle of a tour and you’re fucking things up. I warn you – your wife will get to the truth…” I did not want to say that… yet, I’m happy it went out.
“My wife what?” you seem surprised. “What are you talking about?”
“Don’t play stupid with us.” I say, and my anger is growing. “Stop seeing her. Whoever she might be.”
“What? I’m not seeing anyone… what the hell... Edge, Adam, tell him something…” Your face’s turned red and you are clearly shaking. A statement of guilt, I think.
I look at the others. They think the same, and stare at you.
“Well, Bono, I think it is quite obvious to all of us. There’s no point in trying to deny it. Repair things until you can.” Adam is really great in staying cool. He tells things like I would if I had his self control, which I terribly lack I must admit.
“But…no, listen. You got it wrong… Wouldn’t you be listening to any of those… rumours?” You have somehow managed to get up and take a few steps back, as if you were afraid of us.
“Bono, it’s not just the rumours. You act strangely… I’ve seen you going around suspiciously. I’ve seen marks of lipstick on your shirt. You were as cold as stone with Ali the other day… Would you explain?” Edge is trying to take you back to reason, as usual. He gets near to you and tries to put his hand on your shoulder. You look out of your mind. I suddenly think I might have gone too far. I’m sure I hurt you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry Bono. Your eyes are filling with tears and I just don’t know what to do. Still, I think this time they caught you red handed. And it’s a serious issue, cheating on your wife of 23 years, the mother of your children.
You look at us searching for a friendly gaze but we are still coldly staring at you and you run out of the room. Nobody tries to stop you. I hope I won’t regret letting you go. Would you run to her?
“It’s not my fault… things like this happen…” you just say.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“I don’t know what to think, really.” Edge says looking at me.
I thought you were the icon of the perfect husband and father… now I’m not so sure about it anymore.
You seemed sincere in your outburst before, but I just cannot believe you right now. I’m not one who believes in coincidences… that rumour… you acting like this…
There’s a piece of folded paper on your bedside table. I take it. There’s a female writing on it, stating your name as the addressee. I open it. “Tuesday at 10 am. Laura.” Then, it’s true. You are seeing someone. Bono… why? If anything was wrong with Ali you should have talked about it to us… I can’t believe you are doing this just for lust. I know you too well… Either this, or I don’t know you at all.
I fold it again and put it in my pocket. I don’t want anyone else to see this. You’re really naïve. Maybe you just don’t have experiences of this. Didn’t you think about how many people could enter a hotel room during the day? No wonder the news was already on everyone’s mouth. I want to help you. You’re a man after all. She might just be gorgeous… Yes, I do understand you. Tomorrow I will follow you.
I try to be as discreet as possible. You walk quite fast and I have to stay far behind, as you turn often back to check no journalist is there.
You did not say a word this morning during breakfast. I could see that you were deeply in thought. You did not seem to have slept as well. Is your conscience getting back at you?
Meanwhile, we’ve arrived to your destination. I take a look at the place. A woman comes to open the front door for you. Will she be the one, I wonder. She is nice, yes but, really, not a beauty. I can see you walking with her through a windowed corridor. I come along holding my head under the windows. I hope no policemen are around… getting arrested in this situation would be quite embarrassing. I would have quite a lot to explain.
I hear you say “Hello, Laura.” I look up, and suddenly everything gets at its place in my mind.
I just wish I did not follow you today. I just wish I did not know.
I slowly start my journey back home.
I can’t confront you here in the streets. I even don’t know if I should tell the others. I am a lot angry with you. I would have preferred to hear this story from you. Why do you always mess up, Bono? Why can’t you act plainly as all humans do?
Well, it’s not all about you. I feel like shit.
very intriguing, update quickly!
