PLEBA girls party-DG's homecoming....sort of.

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A big :hug: for all you girls. I'll just post it here cause it'll save me bothering everyone for their e-mails...

Alright so this past year was a year of major changes/adjustments in my life...some good and some not so good at all. I won't bore you with the details but many of my relationships with other people (namely a cousin I was extremely close with, and one of my best friends) took a turn for the worse and I don't even know how to talk to these people anymore. So I thought I was doing ok with that...I thought I had come to terms with the fact that things were now going to be different. But I guess they're still really bothering me. One thing that I haven't been able to shake yet is my uncle's suicide last September.

I really thought I had been doing well for a long time there and I figured I was done with the whole therapy thing...(a few years back for about 6 or 7 months I was clinically depressed). We'll see how it goes though, I may consider it again if this keeps up.

And the one thing that I really hate about myself is how I hold on to good memories and feelings in the past...like somehow I go through my days trying to relive or recreate those moments which were a hell of a lot better than things are going right now. I wish I could just let things go and focus on the present.

Woha yeah ok so now that I've ruined everyone's good night and VP's buzz :laugh: I think I'll put a lid on it now :wink:
 
FlyYourKite said:
A big :hug: for all you girls. I'll just post it here cause it'll save me bothering everyone for their e-mails...

Alright so this past year was a year of major changes/adjustments in my life...some good and some not so good at all. I won't bore you with the details but many of my relationships with other people (namely a cousin I was extremely close with, and one of my best friends) took a turn for the worse and I don't even know how to talk to these people anymore. So I thought I was doing ok with that...I thought I had come to terms with the fact that things were now going to be different. But I guess they're still really bothering me. One thing that I haven't been able to shake yet is my uncle's suicide last September.

I really thought I had been doing well for a long time there and I figured I was done with the whole therapy thing...(a few years back for about 6 or 7 months I was clinically depressed). We'll see how it goes though, I may consider it again if this keeps up.

And the one thing that I really hate about myself is how I hold on to good memories and feelings in the past...like somehow I go through my days trying to relive or recreate those moments which were a hell of a lot better than things are going right now. I wish I could just let things go and focus on the present.

Woha yeah ok so now that I've ruined everyone's good night and VP's buzz :laugh: I think I'll put a lid on it now :wink:
Click to expand...

:hug:

1. There is no shame in clinical depression or therapy
2. It takes a lot of time to get to the point where you are better about the death of a relative; it's not something you really ever 'get over' but it does get better.
3. You have a pretty good idea already of what you need to do. Look forward a little bit, live mostly in the moment. Cherish the good moments, but don't let them get in the way of new ones.
4. Your relationships with friends and family will go back and forth; just because there is a distance now does not mean you will never be close again.

(ie: my best friend throughout childhood and high school, who then slept with my boyfriend on the night of my graduation :| , is now my best friend again. there were many many years in which I never thought we would be close again, but it happened. :) )
 
Thanks Bri, Jules and SG :hug:

What really makes me mad at myself though is how I deal with things...I tend to do stupid things like go for the alcoholic beverages which lead to an even stupider (is that a word? lol) thing with someone. :|

I need to take up knitting or something.

I really shouldn't even be this crazy about everything...which leads me to believe there is something not right again. The last time I was feeling the same way and couldn't really put my finger on a direct cause. :shrug: Meh, who knows.
 
FlyYourKite said:
Thanks Bri and Jules :hug:

What really makes me mad at myself though is how I deal with things...I tend to do stupid things like go for the alcoholic beverages which lead to an even stupider (is that a word? lol) thing with someone. :|

I need to take up knitting or something.
Click to expand...

That's no fun...:hug: anyways...again.

Have you ever thought about having/writing in a diary?
 
FlyYourKite said:
A big :hug: for all you girls. I'll just post it here cause it'll save me bothering everyone for their e-mails...

Alright so this past year was a year of major changes/adjustments in my life...some good and some not so good at all. I won't bore you with the details but many of my relationships with other people (namely a cousin I was extremely close with, and one of my best friends) took a turn for the worse and I don't even know how to talk to these people anymore. So I thought I was doing ok with that...I thought I had come to terms with the fact that things were now going to be different. But I guess they're still really bothering me. One thing that I haven't been able to shake yet is my uncle's suicide last September.

I really thought I had been doing well for a long time there and I figured I was done with the whole therapy thing...(a few years back for about 6 or 7 months I was clinically depressed). We'll see how it goes though, I may consider it again if this keeps up.

And the one thing that I really hate about myself is how I hold on to good memories and feelings in the past...like somehow I go through my days trying to relive or recreate those moments which were a hell of a lot better than things are going right now. I wish I could just let things go and focus on the present.

Woha yeah ok so now that I've ruined everyone's good night and VP's buzz :laugh: I think I'll put a lid on it now :wink:
Click to expand...

:hug: Fly I'm glad you shared! Your in good company. I understand how your feeling. I don't know if you know that my my good friend died earlier this year and my brother tried to commit suicide as well. I understand how you feel. Sometimes its so much for one person to handle. And there is nothing wrong with doing counseling. I've honestly been thinking about it for myself as well. I was in a grief support group for a while and on anti-depressants.

You can always share with us anytime you need too. Alot of us can understand so well what your going thru. And know that you are never alone! :hug: :heart:

And this goes for all of you I'm here day or night anytime! If anyone wants my phone number its yours! Mr. Cat is use to middle of the night calls. We never question, if there is a need we are here. I've been there in my life when I wish I had someone like that.

4am by myself in a dark carpark crying so hard I thought I was going to throw up, the only thing that saved me was SYCMIOYO. I wish that day I would have had you guys. And I still worry everytime the phone rings that it will be someone telling me that my brother has finally done it and is gone. :( Honestly sometimes I hate him for that. And then I feel guilty.
 
FlyYourKite said:
A big :hug: for all you girls. I'll just post it here cause it'll save me bothering everyone for their e-mails...

Alright so this past year was a year of major changes/adjustments in my life...some good and some not so good at all. I won't bore you with the details but many of my relationships with other people (namely a cousin I was extremely close with, and one of my best friends) took a turn for the worse and I don't even know how to talk to these people anymore. So I thought I was doing ok with that...I thought I had come to terms with the fact that things were now going to be different. But I guess they're still really bothering me. One thing that I haven't been able to shake yet is my uncle's suicide last September.

I really thought I had been doing well for a long time there and I figured I was done with the whole therapy thing...(a few years back for about 6 or 7 months I was clinically depressed). We'll see how it goes though, I may consider it again if this keeps up.

And the one thing that I really hate about myself is how I hold on to good memories and feelings in the past...like somehow I go through my days trying to relive or recreate those moments which were a hell of a lot better than things are going right now. I wish I could just let things go and focus on the present.

Woha yeah ok so now that I've ruined everyone's good night and VP's buzz :laugh: I think I'll put a lid on it now :wink:
Click to expand...

Ruin my buzz? Pfft. I'm too far gone, not possible. :wink:

Okay, maybe I'm not thaaaat bad. But getting there. :lol:

First of all, you're an amazing young woman. You're actually accomplishing shit, while so many others are sitting on their asses!! You have goals and aspirations!! I'm proud of you for that. :hug: You also have talked about some lifestyle issues, and I seriously admire you for the way you face them. You rock, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise!!! :love: :heart:

I'm by no means an expert, but I have studied depression in depth. When you have crappy life experiences that it's based on...well, that kinda sucks...but they can be overcome, as you know. And depression is cyclical...there are periods of remission, and things will get brighter whether you seek help or not (a well-kept secret in the field)...it's just that seeking help will make the remission happen faster.

You are SO sensible...SO level headed...I know that if you feel yourself slipping that much, you'll talk to someone. But if this is just a passing blue mood, you can rely on us, and others who are important to you.

And on a personal note, I had a cousin I was VERY close to through my early teen years, and for reasons I had no idea about at the time, she turned away from me. I was very, very hurt. Later, as adults, we rekindled what we had, and we're very close again. :heart: People go through phases...maybe that's all this is??
 
Russty Cat said:


:hug: Fly I'm glad you shared! Your in good company. I understand how your feeling. I don't know if you know that my my good friend died earlier this year and my brother tried to commit suicide as well. I understand how you feel. Sometimes its so much for one person to handle. And there is nothing wrong with doing counseling. I've honestly been thinking about it for myself as well. I was in a grief support group for a while and on anti-depressants.

You can always share with us anytime you need too. Alot of us can understand so well what your going thru. And know that you are never alone! :hug: :heart:

And this goes for all of you I'm here day or night anytime! If anyone wants my phone number its yours! Mr. Cat is use to middle of the night calls. We never question, if there is a need we are here. I've been there in my life when I wish I had someone like that.

4am by myself in a dark carpark crying so hard I thought I was going to throw up, the only thing that saved me was SYCMIOYO. I wish that day I would have had you guys. And I still worry everytime the phone rings that it will be someone telling me that my brother has finally done it and is gone. :( Honestly sometimes I hate him for that. And then I feel guilty.
Click to expand...

:hug:





:sigh:





:hug: :heart:
 
Russty :sigh: :hug: Thank you for sharing that.

And a huge :hug: to all of you girls. I keep this stuff from all of my close girlfriends for a variety of reasons, but I find it so easy to share everything with you guys. And I appreciate you all so much.

Thanks for your reply VP :hug: You've made me feel better about my preferences and now this as well.

I will certainly come to you girls when I need to vent. :)
 
FlyYourKite said:
Russty :sigh: :hug: Thank you for sharing that.

And a huge :hug: to all of you girls. I keep this stuff from all of my close girlfriends for a variety of reasons, but I find it so easy to share everything with you guys. And I appreciate you all so much.

Thanks for your reply VP :hug: You've made me feel better about my preferences and now this as well.

I will certainly come to you girls when I need to vent. :)
Click to expand...


We are always here when you need someone to vent to.

:hug: :hug: :hug:
 
:hug: to all of ya!

When I finally decide to run away from Mr. Cat I'm going to build a Pleba commune so you can all come live with me in teepees in the mountains. :giggle:

Fly I can't even imagine having to go thru stuff when it comes to making choices about who you love. As you may have realized recently I've been having a bit of a time with that myself. I've been raised to believe that being gay is wrong. I give you so much credit for being mature about it and trying to go at it the way you have. I don't know if I will ever make my peace with the whole issue. I know in my heart that I love Mr. Cat and that won't ever change, but that doesn't make me love some other people in my life any less. I wish there was some easy answer to it all.
 
FlyYourKite said:
Russty :sigh: :hug: Thank you for sharing that.

And a huge :hug: to all of you girls. I keep this stuff from all of my close girlfriends for a variety of reasons, but I find it so easy to share everything with you guys. And I appreciate you all so much.

Thanks for your reply VP :hug: You've made me feel better about my preferences and now this as well.

I will certainly come to you girls when I need to vent. :)
Click to expand...

I know exactly what you mean :hug:

I have severe clinical depression, and for me it never goes away. I'm on meds constantly, and I know that my Grandmother and mother and sister (and late brother) have all also been on prescriptions on a long term basis. I've actually been to the point where it's been possible for me to get government assistance because it interferes with me being able to work. But with my faith in God, help from my doctor and my therapist, my family and friends, I'm doing pretty well, even through a terribly rough time in my life. We're here for you :hug: I know I can't really openly talk about this with my old friends or my family who were around during my suicide attempt because it scares them, so I understand what you mean about not being able to talk to yours as well
 
Since this is my 6666th post...I decided to release some smilies in honor of this (I promise...no evil clown ones).

24.gif


19.gif


9.gif


I don't want to scare anyone to death...even though I want to post some excellent ones I found.
 
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