Animals/insects:
Elephants
aren't any more important
than insects
but I'm on the side
of elephants
unless one of them tries
to crawl up my leg
(John Newlove)
The fly
God in his wisdom made the fly
And then forgot to tell us why
(Ogden Nash)
Pussycat, pussycat, where have you been,
Licking your lips with your whiskers so clean?
Pussycat, pussycat, purring and pudgy,
Pussycat, pussycat. WHERE IS OUR BUDGIE?
(Max Fatchen)
Strange people:
There was a young lady from Ickenham
Who went on a bus trip to Twickenham.
She drank too much beer,
Which made her feel queer,
So she took off her boots and was sick-in-'em.
Horace
Much to his Mum and Dad's dismay
Horace ate himself one day.
He didn't stop to say his grace,
He just sat down and ate his face.
'We can't have this!' his Dad declared.
'If that lad's ate, he should be shared.'
But even as he spoke they saw
Horace eating more and more:
First his legs and then his thighs,
His arms, his nose, his hair, his eyes …
'Stop him someone!' Mother cried
'Those eyeballs would be better fried!'
But H. was on his second course:
His liver and his lights and lung,
His ears, his neck, his chin, his tongue;
'To think I raised him from the cot
And now he's going to scoff the lot!'
His Mother cried: 'What shall we do?
What's left won't even make a stew …'
And as she wept, her son was seen
To eat his head, his heart, his spleen.
And there he lay: a boy no more,
Just a stomach on the floor …
None the less, since it was his
They ate it – that's what haggis is.
(Monty Python)