Look but dont Touch

[bonosloveslave]

Well, just reading that, he may not have picked up on the undertone you meant to infer in that - I probably wouldn't have.

Maybe he's just really dense like me.

 

[elizabeth]

you're not dense.

i just figured it was innocent enough to elicit SOME response...without being too overtly suggestive.

 

[elizabeth]

DAMN.


well, loyal readers, elizabeth DID receive an email just to her, from ****, and it was innocent and casual.

so of course, being the smart, healthy, well-adjusted person that she is...she takes it one step further and replies with a STUPID EMAIL.....

GOD SHE"S DUMB.

distance yourself now, while you're still safe!

 

[BAW]

omg Elizabeth! You poor thing!



check your email

 

[elizabeth]

you're the best, babe.

 

[hiphop]

Heh elizabeth. confused?

 

[bluephisto]

Ok,

Ask yourself here. WHAT DO YOU WANT by sending this guy emails? What do you really want? Just an adrenaline rush? Confirmation that you're still a sexual being to other men outside of your marriage? Do you need an ego boost?

It concerns me that you felt like the situation was resolved and you're stirring it up again. I hate to be a downer, but how much would it hurt your husband to know what you're doing?

I'm just saying these things so that you don't get in over your head. Examine your thoughts. What do you really REALLY need from this guy? I get the strong feeling that your crush isn't really about this guy, but what the guy REPRESENTS to you.

- Do you need him to tell you you're still young?
- Do you need him to give you another life?
- Do you need him because you feel like you have nothing of your own in your life that your husband isn't involved in?
- Do you want an excuse to uproot and start over?
- Do you need the rush of new love? The rush of the chase? It gets addicting after a while.

Give it some solid thought and consider that he may just give this information to your husband if he's his friend.

I hope this all works out okay, sweetie.
-Bluey

 

[elizabeth]

Ok,

Ask yourself here. WHAT DO YOU WANT by sending this guy emails? What do you really want? Just an adrenaline rush? Confirmation that you're still a sexual being to other men outside of your marriage? Do you need an ego boost?

you're right. yes to all.

It concerns me that you felt like the situation was resolved and you're stirring it up again. I hate to be a downer, but how much would it hurt your husband to know what you're doing?

it was resolved...but not the way I wanted it. again, ego. this would hurt my husband. he doesn't even like it that i want to see pirates of the carribean.

I'm just saying these things so that you don't get in over your head. Examine your thoughts. What do you really REALLY need from this guy? I get the strong feeling that your crush isn't really about this guy, but what the guy REPRESENTS to you.

YOU'RE RIGHT. I know it. It's not HIM at all. Dammit. I know.

- Do you need him to tell you you're still young?
- Do you need him to give you another life?
- Do you need him because you feel like you have nothing of your own in your life that your husband isn't involved in?
- Do you want an excuse to uproot and start over?
- Do you need the rush of new love? The rush of the chase? It gets addicting after a while.

Give it some solid thought and consider that he may just give this information to your husband if he's his friend.

I hope this all works out okay, sweetie.
-Bluey

all this is SO right on. you should either be a therapist or write poetry. And you're not the only one reminding me of these very important things. Others have said the same thing...different ways with the same basic meaning. Don't worry...i'm already fixing things...

for instance, after i rec'd the last email from him Monday night, I didn't feel the need ONCE to check my email for messages from him all day Tuesday! Not a single check! And I didn't realize it until this morning! I'm proud of myself. I'm also thinking of this whole experience in terms of fiction writing. I think I could come up with some good poetry or short stories, where I see myself of a week ago as a different person experiencing this dilemma. Because I'm getting out of it, like I knew I would.

Besides, dancing with ed to a song by alexi murdoch is a good way to really feel the love. He's a romantic guy, my husband. I'm very, very happy with him... and I know it. It's just all that excess ego baggage that crops up every once in while to keep me on my toes.

Ed's actually lucky....because after one of these innocent crushes, I always treat him really well. Not out of guilt, because I didn't DO a thing! (YAY!) but out of renewed attraction and committment.

and you know what??? everyone here who responded is amazing. And I love you all very much!!

 

[bluephisto]

*hugs*

I'm so glad you feel a little better, it's a hard situation to be in, very confusing.



-Dr. Bluey

 

[Mrs. Edge]

Elizabeth, it has happened to me to.

*gasps of horror from the crowd*

I hate to talk about it in public because so many people know me, and consider my husband and me to be the perfect couple, and in many ways we are.l...but I wanted to say that you are not alone, and that this happens much more than people realise.

In my case, the main reason I think it happens is because I got married at age 19, and I will never stop wondering if you can find the right person for yourself at such a young age, especially when I have changed so much as a person. Much as I love and care for my husband, I can't muster much enthusiasm....at least of the romantic variety. I can never stop wondering what if...what if.......but just supposing.....

It's horrible. I will have to continue working through this, and coming to some sort of decision, but I just wanted to give you a word of support to say that I know EXACTLY how you feel, and if you want to email or PM me, please feel free.