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Old 06-28-2003, 02:58 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally posted by madonna's child
thanks, girlfriend.
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Old 06-28-2003, 02:59 PM   #17
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Originally posted by souLnation2002
Make a list of reasons why you love your hubby.

good advice...i'm not sure i have enough paper in the house...

it's true, i do love him. and day by day my dumb crush ebbs away.

i'm getting over it!!! I know I am!!
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Old 06-29-2003, 07:24 AM   #18
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confession time.

elizabeth you may laugh your ass off now. same thing was happening to me right now - in the other position, so to say...

i was at a party yesterday and there was a very attractive girl. actually we liked each other, danced, talked a lot, nearly kissed.. a little, then she backed off, told me she had a boyfriend. not married, but 4 years together. anyway we contiued to talk and dance and play piano and nearly touch... and there was this incredible tension... she told me she wanted me but couldnīt, i said i understood... shit shit shit!

we were sleeping under the stars in a hammock together... but nothing happened except of being near.

oh i fell for her... but well, unlucky like always. tsah. anyway, i can understand her and its ok. but this tension...

i guess iīll try to get her out of my mind.

why why why???
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Old 06-29-2003, 11:09 AM   #19
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well now...hearing things from the other side is very interesting. i was thinking (while drinking) last night that i wanted to at least tell this guy how i felt in a casual lighthearted way and just see if he even had any small similar feeling. but now i see that it could come off as being...well....sort of "no point" and just a big tease. i don't want to be like that...i just want to know...

well hiphop...is there ever any chance of you seeing this girl again?
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Old 06-29-2003, 12:33 PM   #20
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Ok, my two cents-

Don't say ANYTHING about this to Ed. It would just hurt him unnessecarily. It doesn't sound like you are going to do anything about it, and kudos on that! It's just I've been in relationships where someone has told me they're attracted to someone else and my response was to ask, "Well, what can I do about it?"

The answer: nothing.

Maybe take some time to remember why you married your husband and that this guy looks perfect right now because you're not close. Romance is created by the illusion of perfection, by the projection of one's needs onto another person. Yeah, he looks exotic now but I bet he picks his nose on the bus. Lol. You get what I mean, though.

Maybe taking some time to see why you're attracted to this guy is good, like not just "he's pretty" but really think about what ABOUT him attracts you. It sounds like being exotic and alternative and activist is what gets you the most ... maybe you just need more of THAT in you, in your life. Maybe things are a little routine and you feel like there are still things out there you need to do and try. Whatever it is, answer that need by changing YOUR life, talking to your hubby about travelling, or just deciding to do some activist work of your own.

You're a strong person to have stopped yourself and I think this thread is a great idea!

*HUG*

Bluey.
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Old 06-29-2003, 02:34 PM   #21
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bluey, bluey, bluey...

you and some other people i have been talking to are really right.

it's an exoticism thing...an i-want-new-things-in-my-life thing.

i know it. i can talk about it. i just need to wait this out.

and you know what else would help? if the stupid crush guy would reply scathingly to my joking email...then i would have things taken care of once and for all!!

(i know that works for me to get rid of obsessive crushes because i once wrote this incredibly long letter to a celeb i had a crush on, and i asked a bunch of serious questions, told a lot, etc...i was so NAIVE...and rec'd two postcard sized photos in return. that was IT. boy did i stop watching all HIS movies. for a few years at least. so anyway the point is, if i get a nice, hearty rejection then all is well!!)
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Old 06-29-2003, 03:25 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally posted by elizabeth
well now...hearing things from the other side is very interesting. i was thinking (while drinking) last night that i wanted to at least tell this guy how i felt in a casual lighthearted way and just see if he even had any small similar feeling. but now i see that it could come off as being...well....sort of "no point" and just a big tease. i don't want to be like that...i just want to know...

well hiphop...is there ever any chance of you seeing this girl again?
I gave her my phone number so she can call me up if she wants to. I got her emailadress, but not her number, I thought it was better not to ask for it, since I would be tempted to call her up. Lets see if she calls me - but I do not think so. I donīt know if I will write her a mail.

I might see her on a 2 days jazz festival she is going to attend with her boyfriend. I better not meet that sucker. I will be with friends. Great, huh.

What do you think should I write her one of those pseudo-nice-not-very-caring emails saying "Hey just wanted to say hi it was very nice call me up whenever"... or maybe I simply shouldnīt waste time.

I know a boy a boy called trampoline you know what I mean I think I know what he wants I think I know what he wants
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Old 06-29-2003, 11:18 PM   #23
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Quote:
Originally posted by bluephisto
Maybe take some time to remember why you married your husband and that this guy looks perfect right now because you're not close. Romance is created by the illusion of perfection, by the projection of one's needs onto another person. Yeah, he looks exotic now but I bet he picks his nose on the bus. Lol. You get what I mean, though.
Ooh. Good point. . Very true.

Quote:
Originally posted by bluephisto
Maybe taking some time to see why you're attracted to this guy is good, like not just "he's pretty" but really think about what ABOUT him attracts you. It sounds like being exotic and alternative and activist is what gets you the most ... maybe you just need more of THAT in you, in your life. Maybe things are a little routine and you feel like there are still things out there you need to do and try. Whatever it is, answer that need by changing YOUR life, talking to your hubby about travelling, or just deciding to do some activist work of your own.
Mmhm.

Hiphop, so sorry to hear that about the girl. . I know how it feels to like someone and then find out that they do have someone else in their life (or at least, from what you've heard, they have someone else in their life). It's frustrating. But perhaps someday things could turn around for the better. And even if romance between you two never blossoms, look at it this way, you'll have gained a good friend. .

*Sigh*

Love really does hurt sometimes, doesn't it?

Angela
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Old 06-30-2003, 02:29 AM   #24
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Hi, I know I dont know you but im new here and was interested with your story

I think this will happen to most people in their lives, This crush sounds like someone most people on here would be drawn to or inspired by...and I think soemtimes we get carried away with our feelings for someone when they seem so different and fresh.

I think the writing down why you love your husband is a good idea...

Glad your crush is fading out....it may seem like it never will at first but it really does..

Good luck
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Old 06-30-2003, 11:44 AM   #25
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I think it does happen to most people, myself included. You have to take a deep breath and look to the future. Fantasy is a wonderful thing, but putting your marriage in jeopardy is a terrible, terrible risk.
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Old 06-30-2003, 03:48 PM   #26
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Quote:
Originally posted by Moonlit_Angel



*Sigh*

Love really does hurt sometimes, doesn't it?

Angela
Thanks. Yes it does. Anyway ~ I risk to look like a fool for love, because I wrote her an email, just a few sentences, but deep... no mediocricity in my life.

well. whatever.
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Old 06-30-2003, 04:34 PM   #27
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Originally posted by whenhiphopdrovethebigcars
no mediocricity in my life.

ahhhh, hiphop...I believe you and i share the same addiction to drama and extremes. that's all my crush is, i know it. i just have to keep doing the day-to-day until i'm back to normal. and then something else will come along to spice up my life and i'll rant and rave about how i'm madly in love with whatever new thing comes along...

it's just my way of keeping my life interesting...complicated... SIGH!!!!! I'm such a goober.

it's funny how many people have told me they've felt this in one way or another...here in this thread, and then a friend from college told me the same thing...and that was a GUY, so at least it's not a gender thing.

i guess it is good to hear in the long run that many people go through this and come out ok. i KNOW i will come out ok because there is NO DAMN WAY i can live without ed. i just truly love the physical rush that is associated with this. you all know what i mean. it's that kind of feeling you only get with imagining and anticipating and wondering...there is a different kind of wonderful, lovely, warm feeling i get from ed...and that's the one that doesn't fade after a week or so.
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Old 06-30-2003, 09:45 PM   #28
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well, folks, Oscar Wilde warned me. He said, "the very essence of romance is uncertainty." I should've listened!

My dumber side has been confirmed. My crush sent me a message by not sending me a message and instead sent a message to me and my husband. Now I know he has rec'd my stupid personal message, decided not to reply in reply, and my stupid wishful thoughts have disappeared like dew, warmed by the sun, until nothing is left but a faint mark.

damn.

now i know why they call it a crush.
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Old 06-30-2003, 09:48 PM   #29
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You know this is for the best, right? (as cliche as that is )

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Old 06-30-2003, 09:54 PM   #30
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I know but it SUCKS!!!!!

i wanted something...anything in response....anything's better than being ignored, right? A joking response could mean that he's flattered, thanks, let's be friends! and i'd be like "cool!" and probably get over it.

No response at all, in my mind, means "ok, back up weirdo stalker."

ok i'll be brave here. This is all my email said...and since email DOES NOT have a tone (despite grad professor's theories to the contrary) you can infer what you will. I read his emails from Central America (recall they were extremely witty) and said

"****. after reading all your emails from Central America, I can't decide if I love you or hate you. elizabeth."

i deleted his name because i'm a wussy.

now YOU tell ME....was that so horrible that it didn't warrant even a single line of response?@?!@ nothing?@!#$%?@#!$





P.S. I'm not the only one suffering here! everyone who reads this should send caring thoughts to those in REAL need.
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