Inside Scoop on Sunday's Announcment

[WildHonee]

*disclaimer* Mona is not worldly enough to really know anything except for what she sees on TV, like the following:

*************************************
Yee-ah.

Switch it up....this is the remix, y'all....

We got the ins....

Gather around my TV, everyone....there's somethin you should see....

LIVEfrom the MTV studio at Times Square in New York City....we are pleased to bring you today's episode of TRL!!!!!

FANS: WOOOO!!!!!! *applause* *screaming*

CARSON: What up, yo?

Welcome to our very SPECIAL episode of TRL. I know it?s Sunday....and that?s how SPECIAL this is. And we're not gonna run any of the countdown today, partly because the camera man, Bobo, was starting to choreograph his own dances, and, well, that got a little messy. We wanted to give him a break. ALSO because today...we will have RIGHT HERE....a very special guest.

FAN 1: OMG Is Britney gonna be here?! *scream*

FAN 2: Britney, I love you!! Jump my bones!!!

CARSON: Heheh I WISH. No, today we have a guest that's so secret that-- o, I'm just recieving word that Kid Rock is entering the studio.

FAN 3:...that's the surprise? He's here EVERY day.

CARSON: I know...What up wit' THAT, yo? No, I think he might have something to say about our guests. OOOH did I say guestS!! That?s right, it?s more than ONE person.

FAN 1: JUSTIN!!! I LOVE YOOOUUUU!!!!!

CARSON:...it?s NOT NSync.

FANS: Aaaaww....

KID ROCK: Hey, Carson, mind if I stop by the show today?

CARSON: Well....you?re already here, so.....

KID ROCK: Man, I was at this party last night and it was like rumble in the Bronx, man, y?know that sh*t?s right. *^%$

CARSON: ...hey, Bob, man. This is a kid?s show.

KID ROCK: You know who I?m dating? Pamela Anderson. That?s right, buckos. &%#$ That?s some weird sh*t goin? on in here!!

CARSON:....are you here for any reason?

KID ROCK: Yeah, I wanted to meet Regis.

CARSON: Excuse me?

KID ROCK: Regis Philbin. Man that guy?s TIGHT. &%$#.....Got some crazy sh*t goin? down!!!

CARSON:....I think you?re in the wrong studio.

KID ROCK:...well....could you sign a T-shirt for me, Carson? I love you, man. $#%@....

CRAZED RABID FAN HUNGRY FOR SOME CARSON MEAT: Not even!!! Sit your skinny white self down!!

KID ROCK: Man, kids these days. I tell ya, man, that?s some weird sh*t goin? down!!! I mean #$%@ *&^%....$#@%....

CARSON:...yeah....well....Listen, why don?t you go talk to the Nekkid Cowboy or something....

*Kid Rock is dragged away*

CARSON: I am SO sorry. I think my grandma was watching today, too. Well, you can always use some new words in your vocabulary, right? Heheh...well...Let?s cut to a commercial

*******************************************


------------------
~*Mona*~ Echo's Pimpstress Protege
97% compatible with Bono

Love me, give me soul.

"For the good of the nation, you must defile Bono!" ~Echo~

STING:Some dark-haired girl in a camo hat chloroformed me and Bruce Springsteen and put us in these big jars in the basement.~Echo~

 

[WildHonee]

BONO: Can I explain? I think what Adam meant was that we?re not going to concentrate ourselves within just a certain range of the audience. We want to make sure we appeal to EVERYONE.

RABID CARSON FAN: You appeal to me, Baby! Wooo!!!

CARSON: Get her out of here, NOW. I DON?T LOVE YOU ANYMORE, Rabid Fan!! *cry*

***ZZZZZTTTT********************************

------------------
~*Mona*~ Echo's Pimpstress Protege
97% compatible with Bono

Love me, give me soul.

"For the good of the nation, you must defile Bono!" ~Echo~

STING:Some dark-haired girl in a camo hat chloroformed me and Bruce Springsteen and put us in these big jars in the basement.~Echo~

 

[WildHonee]

CARSON: OK, We?re back. Now, with an EXCLUSIVE performance of U2cool4me?s first single, ?Tearin? up my...pants??

................

LARRY: *beats the wooden fish* *background vocals* You could?ve torn up my shirt, I would?ve let ya. You could?ve torn up my heart, I would?ve let ya....*fish fish*

BONO: It?s tearin? up my pants when I get har---

****ZZZZTTT*******What kind of show do they think this IS anyway?

CARSON: Man o man. This has been the weirdest episode ever. Half of the fans are vibed out, and the other half has fainted from seeing these boys. I sense they have a promising future. And you saw them start out right here on MTV. Good night, America. Please call us with your opinions on the bew U2..er..U2Cool4Me
....*ahem*...

BONO: Also-- Edge gives killer lap dances!!!

CARSON: I quit.

BONO: And you wanna know Adam's size? In the metric system, it's--

WATCH FOR U2COOL4ME ON TOUR THIS SPRING,

COMING SOON TO A CITY NEAR YOU

------------------
~*Mona*~ Echo's Pimpstress Protege
97% compatible with Bono

Love me, give me soul.

"For the good of the nation, you must defile Bono!" ~Echo~

STING:Some dark-haired girl in a camo hat chloroformed me and Bruce Springsteen and put us in these big jars in the basement.~Echo~

 

[Bonavoix]

ROTFLMFAO!!! Good greif, Mona!! You crack me up.

------------------
"I wish that I could cry, fall upon my knees. Find a way to lie about a home I'll never see... I can't stand to fly. I'm not that naive. I'm just out to find a better part of me. Up up and away from me, It's alright you can all sleep safe tonight. I'm not crazy or anything... Even heroes have the right to dream..." -Five for Fighting "Superman"
All my pictures are located here:
LadyHeartland's pics.

 

[Gina Marie]

ROTFL!!! OMG-this has my vote as the MOST creative, funniest thread I've seen here in ages. Thumbs up Mona!

I knew there was a reason I should check in here tonight

U2cool4me-are they opening for Britney any time soon?

*SHUDDERS*

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If you are really good friends with The Edge, you can just call him The~ Adam

The right side of my brain is kinda redundant~ Larry

 

[WildHonee]

Originally posted by Gina Marie:
ROTFL!!! OMG-this has my vote as the MOST creative, funniest thread I've seen here in ages. Thumbs up Mona!

I knew there was a reason I should check in here tonight

U2cool4me-are they opening for Britney any time soon?

*SHUDDERS*

Thanks. Man, I just re-read this. It's insanely long!!!! OMG I should be finishing Hamlet. O I'll just read Echo's version again

------------------
~*Mona*~ Echo's Pimpstress Protege
97% compatible with Bono

Love me, give me soul.

"For the good of the nation, you must defile Bono!" ~Echo~

STING:Some dark-haired girl in a camo hat chloroformed me and Bruce Springsteen and put us in these big jars in the basement.~Echo~

 

[sparkys girl]

**ROFL!!!**
Mona...you never cease to amaze me!

------------------
"She is the dreamer, she's imagination..."

*+*MaRiA*+*
Adam's Press Secretary/Personal Assistant

 

[WildHonee]

CARSON: Welcome back, everyone. We?re still waiting to introduce our special guests. O, look, we have a phone call....Hello?

BEYONCE: Hi, Carson, it?s Beyonce and the girls!

FANS: WOOO!!!!!!!! *applause*

CARSON: Wow, thanks for calling, ladies. This is TIGHT. Hey...speaking of tight....Beyonce, what?re ya wearing right now, huh?

CAMERAMAN: Mr. Daly!!! This is neither the time nor the place.

CARSON: No, it?s cool. Just turn off the camera and get the kids outta here. I?m good. So, listen...

BEYONCE: ....uh....is the special guest there yet?

CARSON: Well, if by ?special guest, you mean my--

***ZZZTTT***** PLEASE EXCUSE THE TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES

******************************************

------------------
~*Mona*~ Echo's Pimpstress Protege
97% compatible with Bono

Love me, give me soul.

"For the good of the nation, you must defile Bono!" ~Echo~

STING:Some dark-haired girl in a camo hat chloroformed me and Bruce Springsteen and put us in these big jars in the basement.~Echo~

 

[WildHonee]

CARSON: And we?re back!! Sorry, kids. I...I don?t know what happened there. But, um. Well, I guess Destiny doesn?t have a Love Child in store for my future, right? Heheh....*ahem*....wow I need a real job.

Okay....well. Legally, I?m not allowed to talk to Beyonce anymore. So....well what?dya say, who wants to take the call?

KID ROCK: *&%^ man, I got that sh*t, y?know what I?m saying? Beeee--aaatttchhhh.

CARSON:....didn?t they take you away?

BEYONCE:....hello?

CARSON: Hey...kids....let?s all sing the national anthem, ok? It?ll be fun...um...I love America!! Woo!!!

CRAZED RABID FAN HUNGRY FOR SOME CARSON MEAT: *grabs the phone* Hey, I don?t care HOW bootylicious you are, you keep your sequined self offa Carson, ya hear?

BEYONCE: I know how the special guest is.

CARSON: WHAT? How could you? Nobody knows.

BEYONCE: I have my ways....

CARSON: No, don?t spoil the surprise!!! Cut the line! Someone?

BEYONCE: It?s Bono.

FANS: ...Bon....oh?....

CARSON: &%$. You ruined the surprise, Beyonce.

BEYONCE: The kids don?t even know who I?m talking about. Aw, Carson. It?s no big deal.

CARSON: Promise to make it up to me?

BEYONCE: Uh....

KID ROCK: Woo!! Beee--aaatt--

***ZZZTTTT****PLEASE EXCUSE THE TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES****
*******************************************

------------------
~*Mona*~ Echo's Pimpstress Protege
97% compatible with Bono

Love me, give me soul.

"For the good of the nation, you must defile Bono!" ~Echo~

STING:Some dark-haired girl in a camo hat chloroformed me and Bruce Springsteen and put us in these big jars in the basement.~Echo~

 

[WildHonee]

CARSON: Man. Welcome back. AGAIN. What a great commercial that was, huh? Nothing makes you feel better than a nice new pair of Reebocks.

CAMERAMAN: That was a commercial for herpes medication.

CARSON: O. Well...that?s good, too.....um....Geez, I hate commercials. Well, in case you?re just tuning in, before the break, Beyonce blew it.

CAMERAMAN: You wish, Carson.

FANS: *are scandalized*

CARSON: *mind wanders to uncharted territory* .....o....I mean she...spilled the beans. She ruined the surprise. Heheh.

And yes, it?s true. Our special guest IS Bono. And he?s got the rest of U2 with him. Let?s show ?em a picture of the guys.

You know them, kids!! Come on.

They?re multi-time Grammy winners, they did the Joshua Tree, they relieved over 200 million dollars of debt in Third World Countries....their tour was insanely successful...

OK look. Girls, here's a picture of the drummer, OK?

FEMALE FANS: HOO-AH!! Bring it, stick boy! Bang me!

BONO: *runs into studio* Listen, Mr. Daly, I don?t know who you are, or what yer doing on TV....but we?re here to make an important announcement.

CARSON:I'm gonna ignore the fact that that doesn't make sense....um....Bono, what?re you wearing?

BONO: What d?you mean?

CARSON: Well, it looks like you?ve got on leather pants (how do you sit down in those things?)
...a pair of Skecher?s...eh...boots...

and...an interesting shirt. Can we SHOW this on TV?

(Sex Is Not The Answer. Sex is the question. Yes is the answer.)

BONO: You don?t like me shirt?

CARSON: Well.....

BONO: *ran away while Carson was thinking and sat on some random girl in the audience*

You can call me Bonosaurus Rex. I?m not old, I?m not a fossil like you might think. But fossils.....are hard...and meant to be unearthed...and discovered.......

FAN: *faints*

CARSON: He?s still got it....after all these years.

MALE FAN: Bono, man. I?d turn gay for you.

BONO: *falls over* Em....

CARSON: Let?s take a break. Someone bring in the hose....

EDGE: Pardon?

CARSON: Some of these ppl need showers.

EDGE: *blush*asaurus Rex
********************************************

------------------
~*Mona*~ Echo's Pimpstress Protege
97% compatible with Bono

Love me, give me soul.

"For the good of the nation, you must defile Bono!" ~Echo~

STING:Some dark-haired girl in a camo hat chloroformed me and Bruce Springsteen and put us in these big jars in the basement.~Echo~

 

[elevatedmole]

ROFLMAO!

Mona is so talented.

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love, lift me up out of these blues, tell me something true, i believe in you..

 

[WildHonee]

CARSON: Welcome back. As you know, we have Bono here. Now, Bono, we heard rumors that U2.com was supposed to be releasing some kind of exciting news.

BONO: That?s right.

CARSON: So....are the rest of the guys here?

BONO: Maybe. Hold on. I?ll be right back. We put together a video for you to explain our big news. Here. *goes over to video woman* Put this in the slot.

VIDEO WOMAN: *faints*

BONO: Feck. I?ll do it myself....the video, I mean. Heheh. O my.
*********************************************

------------------
~*Mona*~ Echo's Pimpstress Protege
97% compatible with Bono

Love me, give me soul.

"For the good of the nation, you must defile Bono!" ~Echo~

STING:Some dark-haired girl in a camo hat chloroformed me and Bruce Springsteen and put us in these big jars in the basement.~Echo~

 

[sparkys girl]

keep going Mona!!! it's getting very interesting......
*SG still ROFL*

------------------

"She is the dreamer, she's imagination..."

*+*MaRiA*+*
Adam's Press Secretary/Personal Assistant

 

[WildHonee]

The video....
THE HOTTEST NEW BOY BAND ON THE PLANET IS......U2COOL4ME

BONO: The cute one.

BONO: If you have an accent, you can call me Boner!

EDGE: The shy one. *bluuush*

EDGE: I tend to *brood* a lot.

LARRY: The cool one.

LARRY: It?s all about the drooms, man. Now....whar?s me dog collar. I can?t live unless I wear me dog collar. I?m cool like that.

ADAM: Adam who?

ADAM: You have me on this as Adam Who? Can....can we rewind it or something? Tape over this part, you promise?

That?s right, the best band of the world is now the hottest group of the pop world. We?ve completely revamped ourselves to reach all generations of music fans:

CARSON: Hey, aren't those just old pictures from.

BONO: Pull it, Edge!

EDGE: WHAT?! *bbllluusssh*

BONO: The VCD cord. Wanker.
******************************************

------------------
~*Mona*~ Echo's Pimpstress Protege
97% compatible with Bono

Love me, give me soul.

"For the good of the nation, you must defile Bono!" ~Echo~

STING:Some dark-haired girl in a camo hat chloroformed me and Bruce Springsteen and put us in these big jars in the basement.~Echo~

 

[WildHonee]

CARSON: Wow. Hey, that--that?s great, guys. So...that?s your big announcement? You even changed your name and everything. Wow.

at this point, all 4 of them are there

BONO: Yes. We are U2Cool4Me. We decided to change with the times and rearrange ourselves a bit.

EDGE: ...d?you mean we?re gonna change positions? Bono, you promised me we?d never---*sees camera* *bluuusshh* *falls off stool* *gets back on*

BONO: We got the balls to pull it off.

EDGE:*bluussshh* Pull WHAT?

ADAM: But we?re not just a bunch of falsetto-voiced wimps. Sorry ?bout that, Edge.

EDGE: It?s OK.

ADAM: I mean, have you SEEN the sizes of our instruments?

LARRY: Yeah, I got a MASSIVE setup. And it revolves!

CARSON:...excuse me?

LARRY: Well, they put the drums in this rotating steel cage, and--

CARSON: o....the drums.

LARRY: Yeah....what?d you think I meant? *stands up* Huh, pretty boy? What, am I TOO COOL for you? Do I make you feel like a little man? Feck. You made me lose a spike off me dog collar. They just pop off......

*****COMMERICAL BREAK**********

------------------
~*Mona*~ Echo's Pimpstress Protege
97% compatible with Bono

Love me, give me soul.

"For the good of the nation, you must defile Bono!" ~Echo~

STING:Some dark-haired girl in a camo hat chloroformed me and Bruce Springsteen and put us in these big jars in the basement.~Echo~

 

[WildHonee]

CARSON: Listen, I can?t get over just how you guys are dressed. We already saw Bono?s shirt, and made him put on another one instead...

BONO: Em...help...

CARSON: Now, let?s let the cameras pick up what the rest of you guys have. Well....wow you all have matching leather pants. That?s.....great.

EDGE:

WHo?s yer daddy?
ADAM:

I?m just one big f*ckin? ray of sunshine, aren? I?

LARRY:

(if I were to throw a stick, would you leave?) Can I not wear that? Sorry. *peels off shirt*

FANS: *start to scream*

LARRY: Better?

(If you can?t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.)

RABID CARSON FAN: ...I could do SO much with that. ...... TAKE IT OFF, baby!! Wooo!!

LARRY:...I?m too cool for your advances.

RABID CARSON FAN: You?re too HOT to be wearing clothes! *lunge*

CARSON: I feel so...USED. *sob*

LARRY: I like to wear mesh shirts. They?re cool.

BONO: ...Mesh shirts?.....Bonosaurus Rex does NOT approve.

LARRY: You?re just jealous ?cause you?re not cool like me.

CARSON: Em.....I think Adam has something to say. Adam, we?ve established the roles of the other boys--

BONO: Oo. Hey, kids, who wants to do a little role-playing with--

CARSON: Shut his mic off.

CARSON: But you?ve been kind of ambiguous.

ADAM: You think I?m gay?

CARSON: What? OK well.....anyway, I think it?s good that you guys are....evolving.

EDGE: I know he meant something dirty by that......

CARSON: I mean, staying relevant is something you guys have always done. And you?re veterans of the music biz, so I?m sure you could teach those other boy bands a thing or two.

ADAM: Yes.....But you know what hasn?t changed? Even though we may be starting to dress differently and wear more jewelry and shop in Abercrombie and drink fancy coffee drinks and get in touch with our hip-hop roots....it?s still all about size.

EDGE: Is anyone else feeling a bit hot? *is blushing* Could we open a window?

LARRY: Edge, have you seen me spike anywhere?

EDGE: *falls over*

CARSON: Size, Adam?

ADAM: In inches? I?d say about te--

***ZZZTTTTT*****TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES

------------------
~*Mona*~ Echo's Pimpstress Protege
97% compatible with Bono

Love me, give me soul.

"For the good of the nation, you must defile Bono!" ~Echo~

STING:Some dark-haired girl in a camo hat chloroformed me and Bruce Springsteen and put us in these big jars in the basement.~Echo~

 

[WildHonee]

OK I seriously wanna know what's going on.

------------------
~*Mona*~ Echo's Pimpstress Protege, 97% compatible with Bono
Love me, give me soul.

"I said I believed in standing, and in leaving your life for rock and roll, and in television, and in origins..."

"For the good of the nation, you must defile Bono!" ~Echo~

A little less circuitry,
a little more poetry.

 

[Courtney]

OMG! That was so funny! I nearly fell out of my chair laughing!
If this is the kind of thing going on at TRL these days, maybe I should start watching it again...

Courtney

------------------
"Thank you. It was an amazing night."
- What Bono said to me after the April Dallas show, and what I think every female U2 fan would like to hear.

 

[Mullen-Girl]

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! U2 the Boy band??? ahhhhhhh tha'ts so funny!!! Tearin up my pants??? *falls on the floor and rolls around*


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The U2 revolution has been reinstated.

THE Larry Mullen Jr. Page
http://www.geocities.com/kiti_regia/index.html

Meeting Larry:
*MG shows Larry poster*
*Larry reads poster*
*Larry smiles and says "Thank you that's very nice of you"*
*Larry signs paper, shakes MG's hand*
*MG almost dies then sees tearaway pants and gets bad ideas*

 

[WildHonee]

Originally posted by Mullen-Girl:
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! U2 the Boy band??? ahhhhhhh tha'ts so funny!!! Tearin up my pants??? *falls on the floor and rolls around*

lol!

------------------
~*Mona*~ Echo's Pimpstress Protege, 97% compatible with Bono
Love me, give me soul.

"I said I believed in standing, and in leaving your life for rock and roll, and in television, and in origins..."

"For the good of the nation, you must defile Bono!" ~Echo~

A little less circuitry,
a little more poetry.