I am an asshole.......

[Lemonboy]

Well Valentine threads aside something has been bothering me all night......

How come you suddenly get attractive when you?re not single.....

Friday night my university had it's annual International evening as a gettogether for all the foreign exchange students......

Anyway I went there with my buddies and I met this gorgeous girl from New York and it turned out she was a U2 fan so we talked the whole evening and danced a little too.....

Then she followed me home and we sat in my bed all night talking about all sorts of things and life in general but absolutely nothing "dirty" happened....The thing is, it could easily have done so......Then when she left in the morning she gave me her phonenumber and told me that she would only be here until June.......


I still have her phonenumber on my cellphone and haven't told my girlfriend about this.......

I love my girlfriend more than anything in the world however I can't get that American girl out of my head......


I am so confused......


Don't hate me......

 

[Kristie]

How come you suddenly get attractive when you?re not single.....

now that is a question I've pondered myself.

My theory on that is that once you become un-single you get the confidence of knowing that you don't have to try and impress other (insert gender here) anymore, and confidence is very attractive.
Honestly, that's the only thing I can think of.

As to your current situation, were I your girlfriend I'd rather you talk to me about it. I'm a very understanding person though. You might want to give it a few days first and bring it up if it's still persistantly on your mind.

My boyfriend was, shall we say, "tempted" by someone else last year... though he didn't do anything at all with her, at the end I wish he'd just freaking told me about it in the first place instead of put me through all the stuff he did.

Of course, you know your girlfriend better than I do.

 

[MrsSpringsteen]

I agree-talking to your girlfriend about it is the best policy. I would think she would appreciate your honesty, especially since nothing untoward happened.

The fact that this happened doesn't necessarily mean there's anything wrong in your relationship-after all, you're human, and it is usually flattering to get positive attention from the opposite sex. When you act on this attention or obsess on it is when the problems start, obviously.

Being so troubled about it is a good sign. Only you know in your heart how you feel, so you have to listen to that and act accordingly

 

[verte76]

I'd talk to your girlfriend. Like Mrs. Springsteen says it doesn't mean anything is wrong with your relationship with your girlfriend. You just ran into another very nice girl. But you're the only one who knows how you feel.

 

[bluephisto]

I'm hearing two different things from you LB.

1) I was a gentleman, nothing happened, everything is fine.

Good, loyalty is SO important in a relationship and your girlfriend is lucky to be with someone who will honor that.

2) I was really attracted to this girl and she was attracted to me and I got her phone number.

KEEPING her phone number is a problem if you're attracted to her, that's just the start of a WHOLE can of ugly - trust me.

You have to be honest with yourself now -

1. WHY are you keeping her number? As a memento of the mutual attraction like a "trophy"? As a way of contacting her to meet her again?

2. Why do you seem to want to tell your girlfriend about this? Do you really think that there is a problem with your future fidelity? Do you want reassurance? Do you (And please don't take this the wrong way) want to show her that hey, someone else finds you attractive too?

Being flirted with isn't a problem, and you did the right thing not to be unfaithful ... just be really honest with yourself about your feelings now and my advice is to only tell your girlfriend about this if you think doing so will make your relationship better. Bottom line: is this something YOU need to deal with or something you AND your girlfriend need to deal with?

*HUGS*
that's my 2 cents. Don't know if it's worth even that.

- The B

 

[Mullen-Girl]

I think you should definitely tell her although if I was your girlfriend i'd prolly try to kick your ass LOL j/k no but really honesty is always the best policy no matter what cos it might end up biting you in the ass in the future if you didn't tell her

 

[Lemonboy]

I was at my girlfriends place today.....

However I erased the New York girl's number this morning...

And when my girlfriend opened that door and I saw her smile and the sparkle in her eyes, I didn't only feel that I had made the right decision but that I was one of the easiest decisions I have ever made......

But when I came clean her eyes darkened(Mind you they are dark as the night from the start...) and I could actually hear my heart beating......Anyway she said that she took my word that nothing happened....

then she said the she love me but if it happened again she would hang my balls next to my heart,which she already where's around her neck in the form of the golden heart I gave her for valentines day......

And then what happened next is up to anyone's imagination......


Sorry, but I don't think I can wait until 2007......

 

[dream chaser]

My 2 cents from a 5 year married 30 year old female who's had several relationships prior to my hubby... tho it's a bit late now...

I would not have told her.

Over the years I've learned a few things:

1. Once it is established that one person in a relationship has found another person attractive to the point of talking a lot, getting a number, and almost "hooking up," then the other person will always feel insecure about the prospect of being left for someone else. Of course, there are exceptions to every rule, but every relationship I've ever had where something like this has happened to either myself or the guy and one of us came clean, the relationship just dwindled away afterwards.

2. It is human nature to find others attractive & interesting even if you are madly in love with a girlfriend or boyfriend. Most people will not admit to it, but they have undoubtedly at one point during the relationship met or even just seen someone and thought, "Damn! I wonder what it would be like to be with him/her?" It doesn't mean they don't want to be with you or vice versa, it's just nature. (And this goes BOTH ways, not just this whole man spreading his seed business, us girls look & wonder, too!)

3. As long as you look & don't touch, you're fine! You don't need to say a word, unless you are interested in something more. If that's the case... move on to #4.

4. If you really really want to get with the other person and you tear yourself away out of duty or obligation, well, um, something's up, man. Whenever I've either had the urge to cheat or actually cheated on a boyfriend, I quickly had a chat with the guy and more often than not ended the relationship. To this day I am still friends with 90% of my ex-boyfriends. And on the flip side, if some guy said to me, "Oh, I would've hooked up with her, but I just felt that wouldn't be right out of duty blah blah blah" I'd be like, um... Get out! I don't want to be just a duty! I want to be adored! lol

5. Whenever I have truly been in love and the relationship has been healthy, etc. the mere thought of being intimate with anyone else has sickened me. Oh, I've still acknowledged others as being "attractive" (cough cough Larry cough), but that's it. And anyone I hit it off with, became a friend -- not a "potential."

But... that's just me & based on my experiences... lol, but I totally understood what you said & wanted to give my advice to take or leave.

Cheers!
-Mel

 

[Lemonboy]

Well Mel (It rhymes) you make good points....


But I feel that if you don't have honesty in a relationship then what do you have left????


I think it was good that it happened because it made me see(not that I didn't know already) what a fortunate guy I am.....

It would take alot more than a good looking girl who likes U2 to make me leave what is the love of my life......


When I said that something could have happened it was she who was pushy and of course I was flattered....


But I haven't cheated on a girlfriend yet and I won't start now......


I have always been a one-woman man........