Effanbee
The Fly
Free Falling
Chapter 4
One morning I managed to persuade Bono to ride with me. We wanted to visit the hidden bay and it was really too far to walk.
‘I don’t know about this,’ Bono prevaricated, lying on my bed and watching me dress. ‘Maybe you’d better persuade me some more.’
‘Enough with the persuasion. Come on, Bono, get up, there’s a beautiful day out there …’
Bono gave up and padded across the bedroom, stretching, the muscles of his arms and shoulders lovingly outlined by the morning sun. Oh, my. I thought. Do you know how beautiful you are?
On the way out to the paddock Bono was still talking himself into the challenge of riding again.
‘I haven’t done this for ages. I’ve forgotten how.’
‘Yes, Bono.’
‘But then, you said the same thing to me a while ago and we did alright then.’
‘Bono! It’s not the same thing at all.’
‘I guess I’ll be OK riding Echo though.’
‘Ah.’
‘What?’
I stopped walking. ‘Bono, you won’t be riding Echo today. She lay down for her last sleep two years ago. She’s buried under the willow in the home paddock.’
‘Oh shit, Roo. I’m sorry. I know how much your horses mean to you. Echo was a grand old mare.’ Bono put his arm round me.
‘We went back a long way together,’ I told Bono. ‘Way back, when we were both young and thought we were invincible. I used to compete on Echo, eventing.’ I smiled at the memory, reliving the adrenalin rush of riding cross-country. When we were young … I shook my head and walked on. ‘Jack will look after you,’ I assured Bono. ‘You’ve seen how good he is when Edge rode him.’
‘Edge has some sort of hypnotic effect on animals,’ said Bono. ‘They are overawed by the might of his brain.’
‘I think you’re right there. And he has a sort of magnetic attraction to cats.’ I laughed, recalling Effy’s habit of draping herself over Edge whenever he sat down.
Bono smiled. ‘Edge told me he had a great time over here with his family. He was thinking about buying a place - what do you call it here? A bach?’
‘Really? That would be so good. Edge’s kids had a whale of a time, we borrowed some ponies and you should have seen them, swimming with the horses and Edge showing off his riding skills. And Morleigh, she was just lovely. Tried to teach me to dance.’
Bono looked amused. ‘You must show me what you learned sometime.’
‘No chance - I was a lost cause. But it was fun trying.’
We rode the long track up the ridge, taking it easy. Jack behaved himself very well, like the gentle horse he was, and Bono relaxed into the four-beat rhythm of Jack’s long stride. The sea below us shimmered like melting glass and Bono took a deep breath of the salt air.
‘You know, this place could restore anyone,’ he said. ‘Anyone tired of life, sick at heart. Look at that, have you every seen anything so beautiful?’
I looked out over the cliffs to the long curve of the hidden bay. Only you, in the morning, waking to a new day, I thought but did not say.
We settled the horses in the paddock behind the beach and unpacked the saddle bags. Sand burning hot as we shared our simple lunch, feeding the scraps to the seagulls.
Bono lay back on the sand with a contented sigh. ‘We could be the only people on earth, it’s so peaceful here,’ he said. ‘Last time we were here I made you run away from me. Be with me now, Roo.’ Bono fitted me comfortably by his side. ‘You’re so good to me, sharing all this, putting up with me.’
‘I’m just helping a friend,’ I said, kissing Bono’s neck.
‘Is that what I am, just a friend?’
‘Well, more than just a friend,’ I conceded.
‘Why so guarded, Roo? Won’t you tell me what you really feel?’
I looked up at the clouds shaping and reshaping above us. I was sure Bono knew what I felt by now, but it seemed he needed to hear it spoken aloud. ‘Bono, you’re very special to me, as well you know. But I’m not going to start using the l-word. That’s when people start leaving in a hurry, in my experience.’
‘You think I’m going to take off?’
‘I know you will, whatever I say.’
Bono tightened his grip on me. ‘Ah, Roo, I do love you. You look the truth right in the eye, so honest … and there, I’ve used the dreaded l-word.’
I took a breath. ‘Bono, I’ve loved you for years. To have you come back after so long, it was like a second chance for me. And I made the choice, to take that chance. But I know I’m not the love of your life, just as you aren’t the love of mine.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Remember I told you once I could never go home?’
‘Yes, I remember it well.’
‘The real reason I can’t go back - well, when I was young a man came into my life. He was older than me, and I just adored him. Would have died for him, I loved him so much. the snag was, he was married. Ten years, on and off, we lived a secret life. And in the end, guess what? He left. I moved halfway across the world to get away from the hurting. Even now, decades on, I can’t trust myself to go back. Because I would have to seek him out.’
Bono was silent, thinking about this.
‘What I’m trying to say, Bono, is that we shouldn’t let the love of our lives slip away. I lost mine, I’d hate to see you lose yours.’
Bono shook his head. ‘I’m in uncharted waters, Roo. Having only ever loved one person before now, never learned how to deal with the changes, I don’t know where the hell I am with it. Now there are two people I love …’
That twisted a knife in my heart. It told me so clearly that Bono still loved his wife, a fact that was killing in its simplicity. I put my sunglasses on to hide my eyes, which didn’t fool Bono for a moment.
‘God, Roo, I’m sorry. That was so thoughtless,’ Bono said.
‘Never be sorry about telling the truth,’ I said. My voice sounded shaky and teary and I took a second to master it. ‘I know you love her, Bono. If you didn’t you wouldn’t have come here, would you? You’d have filed for divorce and moved on. As for loving us both, well, there really isn’t much of a choice, is there?’ I placed my fingers over Bono’s lips as he began to speak. ‘No, Bono. Let me say this now, before I lose my courage. Try again, to restore your marriage. It’s just too precious to lose.’
‘I have tried,’ said Bono. ‘I’ve tried everything I can think of. It takes two people to make or break a marriage.’
‘I don’t doubt you, Bono, and I’m sure you have the strength to go that extra step. Don’t let it fade away.’
Bono thought his thoughts for a while, scooping handfuls of hot sand and letting it trickle through his fingers. ‘Where would that leave you, Roo? Where would it leave us?’
My turn to think. I closed my eyes and listened to the rise and fall of the waves.
‘It would leave me back where I started, I guess. No, that’s wrong, because you’ve been with me and we’ve loved each other, for a while.’
‘Right now,’ Bono said, ‘I want to stay here, with you. Living like this, I’ve never done this before.’
‘My dearest man,’ I said, stroking his sun-warmed arm. ‘Whatever would you do, here with me? Become a gentleman farmer?’
Bono smiled ruefully, knowing that he wasn’t really cut out for that lifestyle.
‘You know, there’s nothing I’d like more than to have you stay with me, Bono,’ I continued. ‘But I’d only try to keep you here if I didn’t love you, can you see that?’
‘Yes, I can see what you’re saying,’ said Bono. ‘I know what I should do, what I need to do. I’m so sorry, because you’re going to be hurt all over again.’
‘Bono, don’t be sorry. Let’s not ever regret what we’ve done. Somehow, we’ll move on from here, you’ll pick up your life again and do all the great things you do. And I’ll …’ What would I do? I asked myself. ‘I’ll be writing the next chapter of my life. It’s all blank pages at the moment - who knows what will happen?’
Bono turned over to face me, leaned his forehead against mine. ‘You’re an amazing woman, Roo. I’m never going to regret being here with you.’
How could we have any regrets? We may only be together for a little while, but it would have to be enough to fill my cup for the rest of my life.
Chapter 4
One morning I managed to persuade Bono to ride with me. We wanted to visit the hidden bay and it was really too far to walk.
‘I don’t know about this,’ Bono prevaricated, lying on my bed and watching me dress. ‘Maybe you’d better persuade me some more.’
‘Enough with the persuasion. Come on, Bono, get up, there’s a beautiful day out there …’
Bono gave up and padded across the bedroom, stretching, the muscles of his arms and shoulders lovingly outlined by the morning sun. Oh, my. I thought. Do you know how beautiful you are?
On the way out to the paddock Bono was still talking himself into the challenge of riding again.
‘I haven’t done this for ages. I’ve forgotten how.’
‘Yes, Bono.’
‘But then, you said the same thing to me a while ago and we did alright then.’
‘Bono! It’s not the same thing at all.’
‘I guess I’ll be OK riding Echo though.’
‘Ah.’
‘What?’
I stopped walking. ‘Bono, you won’t be riding Echo today. She lay down for her last sleep two years ago. She’s buried under the willow in the home paddock.’
‘Oh shit, Roo. I’m sorry. I know how much your horses mean to you. Echo was a grand old mare.’ Bono put his arm round me.
‘We went back a long way together,’ I told Bono. ‘Way back, when we were both young and thought we were invincible. I used to compete on Echo, eventing.’ I smiled at the memory, reliving the adrenalin rush of riding cross-country. When we were young … I shook my head and walked on. ‘Jack will look after you,’ I assured Bono. ‘You’ve seen how good he is when Edge rode him.’
‘Edge has some sort of hypnotic effect on animals,’ said Bono. ‘They are overawed by the might of his brain.’
‘I think you’re right there. And he has a sort of magnetic attraction to cats.’ I laughed, recalling Effy’s habit of draping herself over Edge whenever he sat down.
Bono smiled. ‘Edge told me he had a great time over here with his family. He was thinking about buying a place - what do you call it here? A bach?’
‘Really? That would be so good. Edge’s kids had a whale of a time, we borrowed some ponies and you should have seen them, swimming with the horses and Edge showing off his riding skills. And Morleigh, she was just lovely. Tried to teach me to dance.’
Bono looked amused. ‘You must show me what you learned sometime.’
‘No chance - I was a lost cause. But it was fun trying.’
We rode the long track up the ridge, taking it easy. Jack behaved himself very well, like the gentle horse he was, and Bono relaxed into the four-beat rhythm of Jack’s long stride. The sea below us shimmered like melting glass and Bono took a deep breath of the salt air.
‘You know, this place could restore anyone,’ he said. ‘Anyone tired of life, sick at heart. Look at that, have you every seen anything so beautiful?’
I looked out over the cliffs to the long curve of the hidden bay. Only you, in the morning, waking to a new day, I thought but did not say.
We settled the horses in the paddock behind the beach and unpacked the saddle bags. Sand burning hot as we shared our simple lunch, feeding the scraps to the seagulls.
Bono lay back on the sand with a contented sigh. ‘We could be the only people on earth, it’s so peaceful here,’ he said. ‘Last time we were here I made you run away from me. Be with me now, Roo.’ Bono fitted me comfortably by his side. ‘You’re so good to me, sharing all this, putting up with me.’
‘I’m just helping a friend,’ I said, kissing Bono’s neck.
‘Is that what I am, just a friend?’
‘Well, more than just a friend,’ I conceded.
‘Why so guarded, Roo? Won’t you tell me what you really feel?’
I looked up at the clouds shaping and reshaping above us. I was sure Bono knew what I felt by now, but it seemed he needed to hear it spoken aloud. ‘Bono, you’re very special to me, as well you know. But I’m not going to start using the l-word. That’s when people start leaving in a hurry, in my experience.’
‘You think I’m going to take off?’
‘I know you will, whatever I say.’
Bono tightened his grip on me. ‘Ah, Roo, I do love you. You look the truth right in the eye, so honest … and there, I’ve used the dreaded l-word.’
I took a breath. ‘Bono, I’ve loved you for years. To have you come back after so long, it was like a second chance for me. And I made the choice, to take that chance. But I know I’m not the love of your life, just as you aren’t the love of mine.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Remember I told you once I could never go home?’
‘Yes, I remember it well.’
‘The real reason I can’t go back - well, when I was young a man came into my life. He was older than me, and I just adored him. Would have died for him, I loved him so much. the snag was, he was married. Ten years, on and off, we lived a secret life. And in the end, guess what? He left. I moved halfway across the world to get away from the hurting. Even now, decades on, I can’t trust myself to go back. Because I would have to seek him out.’
Bono was silent, thinking about this.
‘What I’m trying to say, Bono, is that we shouldn’t let the love of our lives slip away. I lost mine, I’d hate to see you lose yours.’
Bono shook his head. ‘I’m in uncharted waters, Roo. Having only ever loved one person before now, never learned how to deal with the changes, I don’t know where the hell I am with it. Now there are two people I love …’
That twisted a knife in my heart. It told me so clearly that Bono still loved his wife, a fact that was killing in its simplicity. I put my sunglasses on to hide my eyes, which didn’t fool Bono for a moment.
‘God, Roo, I’m sorry. That was so thoughtless,’ Bono said.
‘Never be sorry about telling the truth,’ I said. My voice sounded shaky and teary and I took a second to master it. ‘I know you love her, Bono. If you didn’t you wouldn’t have come here, would you? You’d have filed for divorce and moved on. As for loving us both, well, there really isn’t much of a choice, is there?’ I placed my fingers over Bono’s lips as he began to speak. ‘No, Bono. Let me say this now, before I lose my courage. Try again, to restore your marriage. It’s just too precious to lose.’
‘I have tried,’ said Bono. ‘I’ve tried everything I can think of. It takes two people to make or break a marriage.’
‘I don’t doubt you, Bono, and I’m sure you have the strength to go that extra step. Don’t let it fade away.’
Bono thought his thoughts for a while, scooping handfuls of hot sand and letting it trickle through his fingers. ‘Where would that leave you, Roo? Where would it leave us?’
My turn to think. I closed my eyes and listened to the rise and fall of the waves.
‘It would leave me back where I started, I guess. No, that’s wrong, because you’ve been with me and we’ve loved each other, for a while.’
‘Right now,’ Bono said, ‘I want to stay here, with you. Living like this, I’ve never done this before.’
‘My dearest man,’ I said, stroking his sun-warmed arm. ‘Whatever would you do, here with me? Become a gentleman farmer?’
Bono smiled ruefully, knowing that he wasn’t really cut out for that lifestyle.
‘You know, there’s nothing I’d like more than to have you stay with me, Bono,’ I continued. ‘But I’d only try to keep you here if I didn’t love you, can you see that?’
‘Yes, I can see what you’re saying,’ said Bono. ‘I know what I should do, what I need to do. I’m so sorry, because you’re going to be hurt all over again.’
‘Bono, don’t be sorry. Let’s not ever regret what we’ve done. Somehow, we’ll move on from here, you’ll pick up your life again and do all the great things you do. And I’ll …’ What would I do? I asked myself. ‘I’ll be writing the next chapter of my life. It’s all blank pages at the moment - who knows what will happen?’
Bono turned over to face me, leaned his forehead against mine. ‘You’re an amazing woman, Roo. I’m never going to regret being here with you.’
How could we have any regrets? We may only be together for a little while, but it would have to be enough to fill my cup for the rest of my life.
You can't do this! Ack.... This has to be more or less thee best story I've read here on fanfic, (sorry anyone else, no insults or rejections intended - it'a a matter of personal taste) and you go and make it all sad with longing... 
Shame on you!
) giggles etc...
Come out of the corner, sweetie, be nice now! 
There are still some giggles and rumpy-pumpy to come.
where's that new chapter??? I said trade gifs for chapter... I posted gifs... 
Effanbee.... so how fast are you gonna give us a new chappy?
Purfect 
