dream out loud pt 18

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annj

War Child
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Dec 2, 2003
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uk
Home sweet home' Rosie gratefully murmered as she let herself into her London apartment, and dropped her holdall on the floor, The American leg of the tour was over now they were taking amonths break to recoop themselves before starting on the Eurpoean one that would also take them to Austrailia before the year was out. But Rosie didnt want to think about that, she was wiped out and just glad to be able to sleep in her own bed without worrying about getting up and travelling for miles from town to city and states.

What was better she didn't have to suffer Bono for a while as he had stayed behind with Fay for another few weeks to help support her with her new album coming out.
As they had flew home in the plane she had been sitting next to Adam who sensed she was in a despondent mood over Bono's behaviour lately.. from all the time she knew him, she was aware of his arrogance, but at least she had always a grudging respect for him. now even that was starting to vanish he was more concerned with being the centre of attention than music, the more famous they got the worse he became in character and scruples, espicially from he got involved with Fay Lawson.

"Don't let it get you down too much Rosie" Adam had told her, "Bono and Fay, their relationship, its not even based on anything solid like love, its all about media hype, more like a business relationship with sex thrown in, they are just using each other.. anyone can see that"

Thinking about it Rosie realised he was probably right, but she was really past caring any more if thats how Bono got his kicks who was she to tell him otherwise, her only concern that Bono didn't sacrifice the integrity of the band just because he enjoyed having his ego stroked by Fay.. but for now she put all that behind her, she was going to have a long soak in the bath and relax and not think about anything in particular and take it easy.

But the week hadn't even gone by to enjoy this little luxury, when Rosie got a phone call from Edge who was back in Dublin

"Hey Rosie hows it going?" he asked

"I am finally starting to unwind from the tour and catching up with my sleep, so I am doing good" she informed him

"Glad to hear it" Edge paused "Look Rosie , I just havent phoned you up just to find out how you are, I have something I think you need to know"

The graveness in Edge's tone made Rosie feel slightly uneasy

"What is it Edge?"

"Its about your mother" Edge replied "I know you haven't been in contact with her for a few years now after all that happened when she went to the newspapers trashing you...but I heard from my mother that she is very seriously ill in Hospital, apparently she doesn't have anyone, and has been refusing to let the authorties get in contact with you, only my mum heard it from a neighbour who knows her, and was concerned, and decided to try and get in contact with you some way." Edge explained

"I see" Rosie replied, trying to take in in this information with mixed feelings which included dismay tinged with guilt, because she had almost forgot about her mother's existence.. now to find this out. it suddenly brought it all back to her and had shaken her.

"I guess I had better come over and find out what is going on" she then said trying to remain calm and rational despite the alarm bells going of in her head.

"Yeah I think you should" Edge replied "Look you can stay with us while you are over, we are here for you" he told her

"Thanks" Rosie replied gratefully, then hung up, running a hand through her dark hair, not sure how she was going to be able to deal with this new situation.

************************************************************

Two days later she had arrived in Dublin, after a few phone calls back and forth she had discovered whathospital her mother was in, and also that the illness was indeed serious, it seemed all the drinking had affected her liver badly, to the point now that there was no saving it or her.. It was only a matter of time, apparently the doctors had been warning her for over two years what would happen if she didnt give up the drink.. but she had paid no heed, espicially when she too sick and Sean walked out on her leaving her to fend for herself.

On the plane over Rosie was now consumed with guilt that she had not kept in touch with her mother and taken better care of her, now it was going to be too late to make it up.. but still she had to see her, it didn't matter that her mother still didn't want anything to do with her.

Edge met her at the airport giving her a supportive hug "How are you doing?" he asked.

"I am holding up so far" she managed a smile and let him take her bag and lead her to his car. She went back to his place to freshen up then Edge drove her to the hospital, tactfully deciding to wait in the car for her.

Rosie's heart was in her mouth as she went into the hospital reception desk and made the enquiries to find where the ward her mother was in, the receptionist recognising her was very helpful and got someone to come along and take Rosie directly to where her mother was, in a small ward by herself, she was connected to tubes and wires attached to machines at each side of the bed, Rosie stood at the doorway shocked at how much weight her mother had lost, her skin had a yellowish tinge to it, there were dark rings under her eyes, she was asleep in the bed as Rosie tentively entered the room to go over to her bedside. she looked so frail and so much older than she was, for a moment Rosie wondered was it really her mother lying there looking so helpless

"Oh Ma, what have you been doing to yourself" she murmered and suddenly all the past bitterness she had felt dissolved, as she took her mother limp hand in her own.

Her mother stirred, and hazily peered at her, the nurse had warned Rosie that she was heavily medicated and might not be too coherent, but she seem to recognise her still "Rosie?" she spoke in a low voice

Rosie found her lips quiver as she forced herself to smile "I am here Ma, I am here"

"I didn't want you here" her mother croaked shaking her head with what little energy she could summon "I told them I didn't want you here, I don't want you to see me like this.. I don't need your pity"

"Its ok Ma" Rosie replied now sitting in the bench next to her mother "Please let me stay, I can't leave you, not now" Rosie gulped back the threatening tears

"You shouldn't have come Rosie, you should just have let me die alone.. it would have been better all around" her mother then rasped seeming to find it hard to speak and it was taking all her effort

Rosie shook her head "I am not leaving you Ma, no matter what, please don't try and make me go" she pleaded squeezing her hand gently

Her mother shook her head again "You always were a stubborn little cow" she muttered in a tone that held no malice only resignation and too weak to argue any more and turned her head away and closed her eyes again.

Rosie remained sitting holding onto her mothers hand trying to be strong for both of them.
 
annj said:
Rosie stood at the doorway shocked at how much weight her mother had lost, her skin had a yellowish tinge to it, there were dark rings under her eyes, she was asleep in the bed as Rosie tentively entered the room to go over to her bedside. she looked so frail and so much older than she was, for a moment Rosie wondered was it really her mother lying there looking so helpless

Oh man, I related so much to that it actually made me cry. Heh.

This story is getting better and better :)
 
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