Do you think you're pretty?

[Ultraviolet Light]

I want in on these lego boys...

[high school flashbacks]

Idiot in my German class: So, yer like 12, right?
Me: I'm 18, genius.
(yeah, yeah, I know, I'll appreciate it later...)

*first day of freshman year*
Me:*walks in to Western Civ class* *sits down*
Random Girl Next to Me: Hi...are you anorexic?
Me:
(I shit you not. That actually happened.)

[/high school flashbacks]

I definitely think there is a double standard when it comes to telling people they are "fat" or "skinny", since it is generally assumed that those who are considered "skinny" want to be that way, and those who are considered "fat" don't. I mean, I've actually had people come up to me and ask me how much I weigh...akorse, they don't believe me when I say I don't know...but hey, s'not my fault my metabolism runs like a mofo...

*looks at thread title* oh...heh...
I don't really consider myself to be "pretty" because, to be honest, I don't think about that much. I dunno why, I just don't.
Also, when people say the word "pretty" I think of pink and skirts and "girlie girl" stuff (nothing against above said things, that's just what I think of)...and I don't consider myself a "girlie girl" in most respects.
Here's me piccie, in case yer wonderin'...(yah, i know, it's frighteningly similar to Laura's)...

 

[Naya]

a bit more on the subject...

I must also say that I don't have a lot of self confidence but it's not as bad as it used to be. I got teased when I was younger, because I had a retainer, I wore glasses, I was taller than most boys, I was skinny and my hair was a big fuzzball. I was also unpopular in high school and never got asked on dates. My "friends" also teased me about my nose, saying it was too big and that I looked like a duck...

Now I feel a bit better, I have learned how to control my hair and I now consider it to be one of my best features. Though whenever I look at myself in the mirror I mostly see flaws. I don't like my skin, my nose, my chin, my breasts or my butt, but I can also recognize that I do have nice physical features but what I find unnatractive in myself is often more important than what I find attractive in myself. It's still a big battle for me to gain more assurance and more acceptance...I'm working on it though.

 

[the_fly2002]

OMG! That is sooooo RUDE! I would have just slapped them That makes me angry, what nerve. People these days have NO tact whatsoever, I'd like it if people THINK before they say such insensitive and rude things. Don't worry though, you are TEN TIMES better than them, you are very pretty and NOT too skinny at all, don't let anyone tell you differently

I think "thinner" girls have get stereotyped as well. I'm pretty slim and I've been called anorexic. I don't look like Kate Moss or Calista Flockhart, I'm not THAT skinny but still people think I look sick. It's not fair and people should realize it hurts.

P.S I like Sarah Michelle Gellar, but I don't really think I look like her LOL, I have brown hair and she has blond hair, I have no idea what some of my friends are on......

Goodnight everyone!

 

[Lilly]

much like my ahtwin iris, i feel ugly when things are going shittily.

this morning was a rough end to a rough day. so i wasn't feeling too hot. but i moved on and my hair curled up and i went shopping and i feel good.

perhaps not everyone finds me physically attractive, but i always know that my best assets are my character...intelligence...some say wit and or sarcasm...(what's that?). but yeah...like everything, it fluctuates.

 

[the_fly2002]

That's a great way to look at it Lily. I look at it this way, I look at all the "beautiful" women in the media or just women walking around or some of my girlfriends who look like "models" and think, if they have no personality or intellect whatsoever, than, what do they have to offer? Not that beautiful women are all stupid, but some are and they have to face the fact that looks only get you so far in life. We all get old and wrinkly, it's just a part of life. As my grandfather once said, looks fade, but stupid is forever! LOL, so true

 

[Ultraviolet Light]

sarcasm

wait wait wait....yer sarcastic? NOW i'm confused....i think i might need a diagram...

 

[Kristie]

warning: long Kristie post ahead

I don't particularly think I'm pretty (there's a pic in my profile), but I also don't particularly care. I've got issues with about every part of me... what really pisses me off is my skin though, I have some whacked out skin allergies (Lilly 'n' Hippy have seen my arms..) and basically my arms/legs look like I have chicken pox all the time. Basically, there's very little I can do about it. Anyway, on to the weight thing
yo, so like.. in 7th grade, I waas.. *math* 12? and like 170 pounds... Went to Jenny Craig and lost 56. It worked well but DAMN that place is expensive... anyway, I've gained about half of it back but when I was smaller I had my only boyfriend, EVER, and that was five years ago. Plus all my friends are like 10 times better looking than me (but they all love country music, bleh) so I sorta have this subconscious "why would anyone go for me when they could go for HER?" thing going on. It also doesn't help that I can't find pants to fit my large bum
ANYWAY, this is what I learned in jazz band:
If you act like you're the best, people will believe you. It also goes for pretty.
so I just wander around being myself and hope somebody'll find me cool someday...

[/rant]

*edit cos I was informed that I spelled my own flippin' name wrong

 

[mocool12]

Feeeeeeeeckin ay I get the "Oh my gosh you're way too skinny" crap all the time. It sucks, a lot. Anyway, no, I don't think I'm that pretty. I have millions of insecurities going on w/ everything about me though. I don't think I could every really think positively, b/c I never want to become one of those conceited girls that are incredibly shallow and just... bah- So full of themselves. Ugh, it's not that I'm always comparing myself to these model chicks, but I just don't see anything about me that is special. I'd post a pic but I'm not on my comp...

You guys are all GORGEOUS though, and such cool people!

 

[Stories for Boys]

kristie~guys are dumb.....they have no real taste......i mean, i've only had 1 boyfriend too, and i don't really think i can even call him that, but that's another story...... we're the real "catches" so they'll realize it in a couple o' years, then feel stupid, then we can smack them and say we'd rather be librarians....or.......something.....anyway....guys are just stupid........they don't see REAL beauty when they see it!!

 

[zooropamanda]

Flaming June..you are gorgeous, and that was my response before I scrolled further to see how much weight you've lost, which is just amazing.
Congrats babe!

im sick of worrying about my looks, to be honest. i will be dead in my coffin andtill wondering if it makes me look fat, if i dont change my ways.

 

[LarryMullen's POPAngel]

Wow, ladies...lots of you took the words right out of my mouth.

Women are very often judged too harshly on their appearance.

Recently it has come to my attention that it may not be my looks that are the problem, but my "don't screw with me" look that makes guys wonder, "Oh, she doesn't like small talk....stay away!" Thing is, I'm SO not a bitch....(yeah, I'm really not!) Ugh, all these damn issues.

 

[Lilly]

kristie~guys are dumb.....they have no real taste......

ex-twin...i think next year you will be surprised at how much better the boys will be. knowing that someone else thinks you're absolutely beautiful the way you naturally are is one of the best feelings on earth. like tom petty said: the waiting is the hardest part.

 

[NicaMom]

I think there's no ugly U2 fans, all you ladies are beautiful inside and out.
I don't feel so hot during my MPS days but most of the time I think I'm OK.
My hubby thinks I'm beautiful and sexy, poor guy, he got it bad.

ps:
My pic is on my profile and at my site.

 

[MiniFly]

While I don't think I'm all that feminine, I've been told I have a certain charm. This one's not that great, I'm flipping the Scottish bird.

 

[Jody]

I'm not very pretty.
It doesn't bother me though, of course I would like to be really pretty, who wouldn't. I don't think I'm ugly because I don't have any self confidence or anything. I am a very confident person but for me its just a fact. Yeah I'm not pretty but I dont care.
For me what's inside is far more important, and I know I'm a nice person on the inside.
BTW all the brave ladies that posted pics, you are all beautiful.

 

[flaming june]

Flaming June..you are gorgeous, and that was my response before I scrolled further to see how much weight you've lost, which is just amazing.
Congrats babe!

im sick of worrying about my looks, to be honest. i will be dead in my coffin andtill wondering if it makes me look fat, if i dont change my ways.

Thanks! Boy, am I going to be a vain little girl today! J/K

I also get sick of all this worrying about my appearance. When I get together with my female cousins and friends, they mostly talk about their weight, hair, skin, cellulite, etc... I get so bored! Why do women think about this so much??? There are so many other important things to think about...

 

[Gina Marie]

Wow, I think this is a great thread. It just brings up so many issues for me.

I guess I'd have to answer honestly-no, I don't. It's a lot easier said than done to have self-confidence and self-esteem when society, your childhood, and other factors are constantly putting 'voices in your head', for lack of a better way to say it..I guess that's the ultimate struggle for me-to drown these out and feel good about myself. Of course, it has to do w/ a lot more than looks. Ultimately it's more important to me to be complimented on my intelligence, sense of humor, or the kind of person I am.

I got the most compliments ever when I was at my thinnest. Now that I find it impossible to achieve that weight again, I wonder what ever happened to those compliments I think it's very important for women to support each other and compliment each other.

This is one of my favorite poems-by Maya Angelou

This is for all of you wonderful ladies..

Phenomenal Woman

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman

Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

 

[daisybean]

Wow Gina Marie that poem was great!!!!!!!

 

[FishNeedsABicycle]

I don't feel so hot during my MPS days but most of the time I think I'm OK.

Please tell me you meant PMS...LOL...cause I was sitting here (pre-coffee) thinking..."Nica's never been to the MPS...and we certainly never made her feel bad..."

*twitch*

LOL!

*hugs*

The Feesh

 

[U2Kitten]

I used to think that if you didn't look like Heather Locklear you weren't 'pretty.' Yes I think society does hold a certain standard of pretty and lots of us feel we do not match up. I don't look like Heather Locklear, so to me I guess I'm not pretty. But you know, there are different views of beauty. Look at us here. We all have different opinions of what beauty is. We all like different guys and looks. Some of the pics some of you 'drool' over don't do a thing for me. With so many different concepts of beauty, what is beauty anyway? It's not the same for everybody. If one guy thinks we're 'ugly' another might find us beautiful!

I do know what Sherry is getting at though, about girls having their self esteem damaged at a young age and how that can ruin the way the see themselves for the rest of their lives.

Question girls: If you had the money, and weren't afraid of surgery, would you get some type of cosmetic surgery done to improve something you don't like about yourself, and would that give you better self esteem?

 

[foray]

Answering the original question, I've never thought that I'm ugly, but this is only because many people tell me that I am good-looking. If one day they stopped, I would probably question my own looks. Their only gripe is that I don't wear skirts often enough; don't you just hate guys who think that long hair and a skirt makes for a pretty woman? I am seriously contemplating going bald but the only thing stopping me is that it requires high maintenance which I don't have time for.

foray

 

[Gina Marie]

TLC - Unpretty

I wish could've tied you up in my shoes
Make you feel unpretty too
I was told I was beautiful
But what does that mean to you
Look into the mirror who's inside there
The one with the long hair
Same old me again today

My outsides look cool
My insides are blue
Everytime I think I'm through
It's because of you
I've tried different ways
But it's all the same
At the end of the day
I have myself to blame
I'm just trippin'

You can buy your hair if it won't grow
You can fix your nose if he says so
You can buy all the make up
That MAC can make
But if you can't look inside you
Find out who am I to
Be in the position to make me feel
So damn unpretty
I'll make you feel unpretty too

Never insecure until I met you
Now I'm bein' stupid
I used to be so cute to me
Just a little bit skinny
Why do I look to all these things
To keep you happy
Maybe get rid of you
And then I'll get back to me

My outsides look cool
My insides are blue
Everytime I think I'm through
It's because of you
I've tried different ways
But it's all the same
At the end of the day
I have myself to blame
I'm just trippin'

 

[oliveu2cm]

Please tell me you meant PMS...LOL...cause I was sitting here (pre-coffee) thinking..."Nica's never been to the MPS...and we certainly never made her feel bad..."

*twitch*

LOL!

*hugs*

The Feesh

LMFAO!!!!

On a more serious note- MVD to that exboyfriend who .. .. anyway

Stories- both my sisters had the same "problem" or difficulties as you, especially my sister who is 20 (i'm 23) and she is 5'11. Growing up she was always taller than the boys and got teased mercelessly for this. My parents worked very hard to encourage her to stand up tall and not slump to hide her height, but the teasings can really hurt. High school was hard for her, but now she is in college where there are many more people, and lots of tall girls too so she is much more comfortable her height is sexy and beautiful and now she knows it. We laugh b/c she is a full 9 inches taller than me!!

My other sister is 19 and she is very thin, extremely athletic. I find it offensive like Sicy & others mentioned that it is acceptable in this society for people to comment on healthy girls and women being too thin, and commenting to their face.

Okay thats all I had to add for now. Great thread- definitely stuff that I think needs to be talked about more. We all need to give ourselves a break- and help those girls going through middle & high school because that's an AWFUL period for ANY girl - which is why sports, band, etc are so important to give confidence..

 

[daisybean]

Question girls: If you had the money, and weren't afraid of surgery, would you get some type of cosmetic surgery done to improve something you don't like about yourself, and would that give you better self esteem?

I think I would get a breast reduction. Sometimes I have a hard time finding shirts that fit me right (especially button down shirts). It also makes me uncomfortable when a guy will stare right at my chest when I am talking to him. LOL, I feel like saying "Yo, the sounds you hear are coming from my mouth, not my boobs."

 

[oliveu2cm]

I would also like to add to my ramblings to throw away the fashion magazines

that stuff leaks into your brain no matter HOW hard you try not to let it and you look in the mirror feeling insufficient and a loser. The media thrives- literally on us feeling shitty about ourselves. feck that!

I had posted this in a past thread but I think it's important too:
And we even do it ourselves- how we bond with other women about being "too fat" or atually having hips or how we "shouldn't be eating this" and we relate this way... and it's a negative way.

Gina I loved those poems you posted

And here my friend Bluephisto posted this in that other thread too, so hope she doesn't mind me reposting it:

Oh man... DO NOT get me started on this.

I studied this in college for years and as a woman have experienced my OWN version of the gnawing insecurity that this sort of media manipulation creates.

I did a study once about employment and apperance for women and in a poll I found that most women, over 80% felt deterred from applying for some jobs based on their looks, because they thought they were not pretty enough to have those jobs. They didn't mean stripper or model either but like waitresses, shop clerks, secretaries and so forth. Whereas in the study very very few of the men, under 10% had ever felt anxiety about applying for a job because of their apperance and when they did, they were concerned about class issues, looking too poor for the job, not attractiveness.

I do agree that men are subjected to beauty norms too, but I see more realistic looking men in the media such as Jerry Seinfeld, Jay Leno, Dave Letterman, Ray Romano, John Goodman, Ben Kingsly, Kevin Spacey who are NOT ugly, but not unattainable images of masculine perfection. Granted, there are the Brad Pitts of the world and so forth, but my point is that there is more diversity in acceptable apperances for men in the media than there is for women. For example, the show Law and Order (which I really like!!!) always has MOSTLY realistic looking male lawyers and cops (with the exception perhaps of Benjamin Bratt) and MOSTLY supermodel-ish female attorneys. I've observed this about many shows such as Ally McBeal (blech), ER, Alias, I'm sure you can think of more. In short, women on television are allowed to play power positions such as lawyer, doctor, white house staffer, judge, but only as long as they don't actually look like women while they do it.

*sigh*

We should stop worrying about our thighs and start critiquing the media, not just accepting what it dishes out.

*rant over*

 

[NicaMom]

Please tell me you meant PMS...LOL...cause I was sitting here (pre-coffee) thinking..."Nica's never been to the MPS...and we certainly never made her feel bad..."

*twitch*

LOL!

*hugs*

The Feesh

PMS PMS PMS PMS...
Sorry, that's what happens for posting so late/early!LOL
What does MPS stand for?

 

[bono-vox]

No- I dont think im beastly but i dont think im pretty although my friends tell me im pretty and some guy who wants to go out with me meh but they would have to lie and say im pretty they are my friends!

Im just OK i suppose which im happy with i jsut need to loose some weight i have "pudgy fingers"

 

[mad1]

Hi BV!!!!!! go to the YMCA gym across from Linenhall - Im going there later to get a programme worked out for me to help gain muscle......Im like Sicy, find it hard to gain weight - gainin is extrem slow........a nightmare.......my figure needs more fat defination......therefore gonna go help strengthan up............



*wonders what Sicys weight is......wonders if Sicy would trust her and pm her with it*

 

[dreams out loud]

As far as looks go , NO I do not think I am pretty, but I know I am a good person with a great and caring personality and that makes me beautiful.

 

[dsmith2904]

We write poll questions on this board at work every few days, some of it is mindless like "What's your favorite movie" but we also have questions about memories, hopes, dreams, etc. After reading this I had to ask "What's the greatest compliment you've ever gotten?" just to see what people would say, just to see what I would say, because it seems like the put-downs stay with us a lot longer than the compliments do.
I was miserable in junior high and most of high school. I was very short and extremely thin and had terrible hair and braces. I felt like a constant outsider and never really had any good feelings for myself until I got a boyfriend in high school, but even that didn't do much for me because you have to love yourself first, you can't really depend on other people to make you feel good about yourself.
In college I grew my hair longer (it's really curly, which isn't ideal, I'd still love to have straight hair but I'm getting over that) and gained some weight (a little too much at one point but I preferred being curvy to being a stick). I really started to like myself in college because I got over all of my inner and outer awkwardness, I was doing what I wanted to do and that made me really happy.
There is no key to self-love, especially when it seems like the world is so ready to drag us down. I can say to all of you, "Don't let them get you," but they still get me as well. I try to focus on the good as much as possible, but, like Julia Roberts said in "Pretty Woman," the bad is easier to believe.
Someone said earlier that not all of us were lucky enough to be born as beautiful as Bono. Hm... I have a feeling that if he passed by this discussion he may have a thing or two to add about feeling inadequate. I think it was in Niall Stoke's book, when Bono was talking about the inspiration for "Stories for Boys" that he always felt like he wouldn't amount to much because he wasn't good looking. We all have our issues, we just have to find a way to move beyond it.
I think it's not that hard to fake self-confidence, just try walking around with your head up, shoulders back for a while. After faking it for a while, you may actually start believing in yourself.
And there is a picture of me on this board, it's in the "Pics of you with U2" discussion. My hair is in the pigtails, but you get the general idea.