Lauryl
The Fly
Chapter 5: Cheesecake and Fuzzy Pickles
"Gwen! It's for you!" Miranda passed the phone to her friend, who took it excitedly. "Hi, is this Larry?"
"Eh, no. It's Bono... though Larry here has a... YES! STOP! Sorry. Feck off!"
Gwen scratched her head. "...Are you all right, Bono?"
There was the sound of a scuffle and then a giggle. "Larry just wants to know if you want to get in... OW, FINE!" A different voice appeared. "Hi. It's Larry."
"Hey." Gwen grinned.
"Yeah, uh... well, since he's gone and-" He gave a frustrated sigh. "Do you... doyouwannagoout?"
Gwen squealed. "YES! I mean... sure. I'd love to."
Bono's giggle sounded in the background. "Larry wants to see your NAKEDNESS!"
"Hey Gwen?" Larry's voice was dangerous. "Can you hold on for a minute?"
"Yeah." She was still hopping up and down.
On the other end there was a muffled shout and then, "No! No tofu! I'll stop!" A moment later, a slightly breathless Larry returned. "Sorry about that. Bono's being an idiot. So, is tomorrow good?"
"Yes! It's great!"
"Uh... right. I'll pick you up at... seven?"
"Sure. I'll be ready."
Larry suddenly asked her to put Miranda on the line, as Bono could be heard yelping "Oh, no. Get that grin off your- NO!"
"Hello?" Miranda's voice was tentative, like someone venturing alone into an insane asylum at night.
"Ah, my beautiful Miranda. Is that you?" Larry's impression of Bono was seamless.
"Uh... yeah. Bono?"
"I couldn't wait another minute to tell you how much I love you. You're the sun in my skies, you're the... the shirt that I wear, the shirt on my back that I'd be thrilled with if I had nothing else though it might get breezy down there, you're everything to me. And I lie awake at night dreaming of kissing you so passionately that when I pull back there's a string of saliv- //Go away! I'll get the tofu, I swear!// What I mean to say is that you're beautiful like the colour teal, you're even more beautiful than teal, you're almost a seafoam! I want to wear a seafoam suit to match you at our wedding, and we'll have eleven kids in a row and they'll be the seafoamest... Damn. Do you know how HARD it is to think like Bono?" He was using his own voice again, laughing.
Miranda cracked up. "You have to remember I've been listening to his voice since I was... still in the womb, basically."
"Well, I think he's learned his lesson... let me put him on before he tears my throat out." Bono's voice appeared. "I'm going to get him for that, just wait..."
She tried to stop chuckling. "He had me going until the seafoam... Had enough of your telephone pranks?"
"Humph. The bastard. Anyway... wouldn't want to leave you all alone while he borrows Gwen, do you want to have dinner with me? Burglars, and all that. It's a big city."
Miranda rolled her eyes. "Oh, yeah, right, San Fransisco's one dangerous place to be at home.... Yes. That would be great."
Bono grinned, all evil thoughts involving Larry evaporated. For the time being.
*
Gwen had cheesecake on her lower lip.
She looked the picture of feminine elegance in her floaty calico dress and demurely crossed legs. The way she cradled her wine glass in her hand as she talked- gesturing wildy to illustrate some point, but expertly keeping the wine in its glass as if it were a part of her. A few curls had spilled from her loose updo, and she seemed to be glowing. Oh, yes, she was the very picture of feminine elegance.
But she had a bit of cheesecake on her lip.
Larry had been staring at it for the past nine seconds and counting. Ten, blah blah, eleven, blah Enya blah blah, twelve, blah blah mainstream, thirteen, blah blah, come and lick the cheesecake off me, fourteen. Wait, that hadn't been what she'd said, had it? He blinked and tried to listen better.
Too late. "Larry, are you all right?"
"Yes! I'm fine." Seeing that she'd called his bluff, he explained. "You've got some cheesecake on your mouth, just there."
"Oh." She ran her tongue over her rosy lip, right to left and back again. "Is it gone?"
He couldn't have formed a complete sentence if he'd tried. He nodded and she sipped her wine, oblivious. He felt like he should have taken the chance to kiss her... but there'd be plenty of time enough for that later.
*
The sunset on the pier was glorious, luring Bono and Miranda from their laid-back dinner of clam chowder. Lazily they walked side by side, now leaning on the railing, now chasing seagulls. Bono could get closer to them than she could, but he preferred to scare them off by yelling and flapping his arms, stomping towards them like a maniac. Miranda was laughing too hard to attempt either touching or scaring the birds.
She'd remembered the camera in her bag and brought it out stealthily, capturing the mad flight of three birds with a shouting Bono close behind. He noticed the camera and bent to look at the little screen with her, his hair mingling with hers.
"Haha! Try another one from this angle, that way you'll get the sun behind their wings."
They spent the next few minutes amusing themselves at the expense of the frazzled seagulls. Bono had captured the camera somewhere in there and had been trying to get a picture of something other than her palm.
"Come on! A few shots won't kill ya!"
She peeked from behind her fingers. "I look HORRIBLE."
"Far from it." He was suddenly there with his fingers curling around her hands, taking them from her face slowly, and kissing either one. "If I promise you you're lovely, will you let me take pictures of you?"
Miranda nodded, speechless. //-Since you put it that way...-//
Bono was out of her personal space again in a flash. He took a few pictures of her, and suddenly gave the camera to a passing Asian woman. "Can you take a picture of us?"
His arms were around Miranda in a flash, and through his grin he murmured "Say fuzzy pickles!"
Miranda gave a giddy laugh, their picture was taken, recognition took place, Bono signed an autograph, the camera retired to Miranda's button-covered messenger bag, and they continued walking with Bono's arm around her shoulder. Brotherly. Conversational, almost. She'd never felt so complete.
"Fuzzy pickles, eh?"
He smiled. "Yeah, got a ton of those. 'Fluffy pillows' or 'apprehensive pterodactyls'... sort of a running gag with Anton. Anything to get Larry to smile."
She chuckled and they kept walking. At last he wrestled out, "Who's 'he'?" He looked at her apprehensively. "The bloke who'll kill you if you leave."
"Oh. My dad." They'd reached the end of the pier and she leaned against the railing, staring at the water below.
"He'll kill you if you leave?!"
She sighed. "I tried once, when I turned 18. He found me and took me back. It'd be no good anyway, my job doesn't pay enough to really be able to live on my own."
He was trying not to gape at her. "That's horrible."
"It's not too bad. They mostly support me if I do a bit of housework, he leaves me alone most of the time, and I can always come visit Gwen."
Her voice shook, telling Bono that things were a lot worse than she was letting on. He felt a surge of empathy and gathered her in his arms, stroking her hair. "I so wish I could make everything better for you. No, don't tell me you're fine, I saw you with tear stains on your face when I got in your car. You looked so sad, and so vulnerable, I..."
"Vulnerable?" The salty air was cold on her flesh as she pulled away from his hug. "I'm not vulnerable. Is that what I am, a... a damsel in distress?"
"Yes," he retorted, suddenly exasperated. "Face it, your life sucks. And I can't turn a blind eye to that!"
To top it all off, she was now upset that she'd been reminded of reality- she had a normal life, job and so-called family to return to, free of rock stars and pubs and aimless walks on Fisherman's Wharf. "It's not your problem. I'm a nobody, just someone after your money for all you know, and you're BONO. Go care for Africa or something, they actually need help!"
Bono tore off his sunglasses. A vein pulsed in the middle of his forehead as he paced in front of her, radiating frustration. "No! I care about YOU, woman, and you with your bloody not wanting to be cared for... you're not fooling anybody! You need someone to hold you just like every other human being on this planet."
Miranda looked up at him. "Even Bono Vox?"
The quiet phrase took him off guard. He met her gaze with a mixture of raw emotions in his eyes, and finally he let out an even quieter
"Yeah."
They were in each other's arms again, as equals, as partners, as two grown-ups wishing they weren't too old to be rocked to sleep. Standing there for what seemed like hours, it felt like they were gathering their very life from the other person's touch. It was nearing twilight and he began rubbing her arms when he felt her shiver.
"Thank you," she murmured against his shoulder, and he knew it was for more than rubbing her arms. They walked off the pier, hand in hand, in complete silence.
"Gwen! It's for you!" Miranda passed the phone to her friend, who took it excitedly. "Hi, is this Larry?"
"Eh, no. It's Bono... though Larry here has a... YES! STOP! Sorry. Feck off!"
Gwen scratched her head. "...Are you all right, Bono?"
There was the sound of a scuffle and then a giggle. "Larry just wants to know if you want to get in... OW, FINE!" A different voice appeared. "Hi. It's Larry."
"Hey." Gwen grinned.
"Yeah, uh... well, since he's gone and-" He gave a frustrated sigh. "Do you... doyouwannagoout?"
Gwen squealed. "YES! I mean... sure. I'd love to."
Bono's giggle sounded in the background. "Larry wants to see your NAKEDNESS!"
"Hey Gwen?" Larry's voice was dangerous. "Can you hold on for a minute?"
"Yeah." She was still hopping up and down.
On the other end there was a muffled shout and then, "No! No tofu! I'll stop!" A moment later, a slightly breathless Larry returned. "Sorry about that. Bono's being an idiot. So, is tomorrow good?"
"Yes! It's great!"
"Uh... right. I'll pick you up at... seven?"
"Sure. I'll be ready."
Larry suddenly asked her to put Miranda on the line, as Bono could be heard yelping "Oh, no. Get that grin off your- NO!"
"Hello?" Miranda's voice was tentative, like someone venturing alone into an insane asylum at night.
"Ah, my beautiful Miranda. Is that you?" Larry's impression of Bono was seamless.
"Uh... yeah. Bono?"
"I couldn't wait another minute to tell you how much I love you. You're the sun in my skies, you're the... the shirt that I wear, the shirt on my back that I'd be thrilled with if I had nothing else though it might get breezy down there, you're everything to me. And I lie awake at night dreaming of kissing you so passionately that when I pull back there's a string of saliv- //Go away! I'll get the tofu, I swear!// What I mean to say is that you're beautiful like the colour teal, you're even more beautiful than teal, you're almost a seafoam! I want to wear a seafoam suit to match you at our wedding, and we'll have eleven kids in a row and they'll be the seafoamest... Damn. Do you know how HARD it is to think like Bono?" He was using his own voice again, laughing.
Miranda cracked up. "You have to remember I've been listening to his voice since I was... still in the womb, basically."
"Well, I think he's learned his lesson... let me put him on before he tears my throat out." Bono's voice appeared. "I'm going to get him for that, just wait..."
She tried to stop chuckling. "He had me going until the seafoam... Had enough of your telephone pranks?"
"Humph. The bastard. Anyway... wouldn't want to leave you all alone while he borrows Gwen, do you want to have dinner with me? Burglars, and all that. It's a big city."
Miranda rolled her eyes. "Oh, yeah, right, San Fransisco's one dangerous place to be at home.... Yes. That would be great."
Bono grinned, all evil thoughts involving Larry evaporated. For the time being.
*
Gwen had cheesecake on her lower lip.
She looked the picture of feminine elegance in her floaty calico dress and demurely crossed legs. The way she cradled her wine glass in her hand as she talked- gesturing wildy to illustrate some point, but expertly keeping the wine in its glass as if it were a part of her. A few curls had spilled from her loose updo, and she seemed to be glowing. Oh, yes, she was the very picture of feminine elegance.
But she had a bit of cheesecake on her lip.
Larry had been staring at it for the past nine seconds and counting. Ten, blah blah, eleven, blah Enya blah blah, twelve, blah blah mainstream, thirteen, blah blah, come and lick the cheesecake off me, fourteen. Wait, that hadn't been what she'd said, had it? He blinked and tried to listen better.
Too late. "Larry, are you all right?"
"Yes! I'm fine." Seeing that she'd called his bluff, he explained. "You've got some cheesecake on your mouth, just there."
"Oh." She ran her tongue over her rosy lip, right to left and back again. "Is it gone?"
He couldn't have formed a complete sentence if he'd tried. He nodded and she sipped her wine, oblivious. He felt like he should have taken the chance to kiss her... but there'd be plenty of time enough for that later.
*
The sunset on the pier was glorious, luring Bono and Miranda from their laid-back dinner of clam chowder. Lazily they walked side by side, now leaning on the railing, now chasing seagulls. Bono could get closer to them than she could, but he preferred to scare them off by yelling and flapping his arms, stomping towards them like a maniac. Miranda was laughing too hard to attempt either touching or scaring the birds.
She'd remembered the camera in her bag and brought it out stealthily, capturing the mad flight of three birds with a shouting Bono close behind. He noticed the camera and bent to look at the little screen with her, his hair mingling with hers.
"Haha! Try another one from this angle, that way you'll get the sun behind their wings."
They spent the next few minutes amusing themselves at the expense of the frazzled seagulls. Bono had captured the camera somewhere in there and had been trying to get a picture of something other than her palm.
"Come on! A few shots won't kill ya!"
She peeked from behind her fingers. "I look HORRIBLE."
"Far from it." He was suddenly there with his fingers curling around her hands, taking them from her face slowly, and kissing either one. "If I promise you you're lovely, will you let me take pictures of you?"
Miranda nodded, speechless. //-Since you put it that way...-//
Bono was out of her personal space again in a flash. He took a few pictures of her, and suddenly gave the camera to a passing Asian woman. "Can you take a picture of us?"
His arms were around Miranda in a flash, and through his grin he murmured "Say fuzzy pickles!"
Miranda gave a giddy laugh, their picture was taken, recognition took place, Bono signed an autograph, the camera retired to Miranda's button-covered messenger bag, and they continued walking with Bono's arm around her shoulder. Brotherly. Conversational, almost. She'd never felt so complete.
"Fuzzy pickles, eh?"
He smiled. "Yeah, got a ton of those. 'Fluffy pillows' or 'apprehensive pterodactyls'... sort of a running gag with Anton. Anything to get Larry to smile."
She chuckled and they kept walking. At last he wrestled out, "Who's 'he'?" He looked at her apprehensively. "The bloke who'll kill you if you leave."
"Oh. My dad." They'd reached the end of the pier and she leaned against the railing, staring at the water below.
"He'll kill you if you leave?!"
She sighed. "I tried once, when I turned 18. He found me and took me back. It'd be no good anyway, my job doesn't pay enough to really be able to live on my own."
He was trying not to gape at her. "That's horrible."
"It's not too bad. They mostly support me if I do a bit of housework, he leaves me alone most of the time, and I can always come visit Gwen."
Her voice shook, telling Bono that things were a lot worse than she was letting on. He felt a surge of empathy and gathered her in his arms, stroking her hair. "I so wish I could make everything better for you. No, don't tell me you're fine, I saw you with tear stains on your face when I got in your car. You looked so sad, and so vulnerable, I..."
"Vulnerable?" The salty air was cold on her flesh as she pulled away from his hug. "I'm not vulnerable. Is that what I am, a... a damsel in distress?"
"Yes," he retorted, suddenly exasperated. "Face it, your life sucks. And I can't turn a blind eye to that!"
To top it all off, she was now upset that she'd been reminded of reality- she had a normal life, job and so-called family to return to, free of rock stars and pubs and aimless walks on Fisherman's Wharf. "It's not your problem. I'm a nobody, just someone after your money for all you know, and you're BONO. Go care for Africa or something, they actually need help!"
Bono tore off his sunglasses. A vein pulsed in the middle of his forehead as he paced in front of her, radiating frustration. "No! I care about YOU, woman, and you with your bloody not wanting to be cared for... you're not fooling anybody! You need someone to hold you just like every other human being on this planet."
Miranda looked up at him. "Even Bono Vox?"
The quiet phrase took him off guard. He met her gaze with a mixture of raw emotions in his eyes, and finally he let out an even quieter
"Yeah."
They were in each other's arms again, as equals, as partners, as two grown-ups wishing they weren't too old to be rocked to sleep. Standing there for what seemed like hours, it felt like they were gathering their very life from the other person's touch. It was nearing twilight and he began rubbing her arms when he felt her shiver.
"Thank you," she murmured against his shoulder, and he knew it was for more than rubbing her arms. They walked off the pier, hand in hand, in complete silence.
