LOL youse guys...
The Twelve Steps of Bonotheism
1.We admit we are powerless over the seduction of Bono - that our lives have become unmanageable because of the voice, the lyrics, and his worldly presence. (Not to mention those damn leather pants, blue eyes, and fly shades!)
2. We have come to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity and he sings about Mysterious Ways, Streets with No Names, and Angels in Harlem.
3. We Make a decision to turn our will and our lives over to his care and we understand him in all of his forms: The Mirrorball Man, The Fly, Mr. MacPhisto, and even his most recent incarnation: Evil Bono.
4. We make a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves and regardless of all those who call us "obsessed" and tell us we, at times, act like twelve year old girls, we still are devoted believers in his wisdom and stage presence.
5. We have admitted to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of why this man is so important to the world!! Jubilee 2000, Sarajevo, Amnesty International, Inspiration, Good Will, Kindness, Divinity?Need we go on?
6. We are not entirely ready to have God remove all these thoughts from our minds and defects of our characters. In fact, we think believing in Bonotheism makes us pretty special people!
7. We humbly ask that Bono forgive our shortcomings such as screaming his name out car windows on the way to shows, hyperventilating in his presence, destroying our VCR's because of repeated pausing and slow motion viewings of the R&H performance of With or Without You, devoting hours of our free time debating with other Bonotheists about topics such as: "What if Bono were right here, right now!! What would we say!!" or "How sexy were his cheekbones in the Elevation video?!!" or "When I went to the gas station today, I heard Walk On!! It was a Bono moment!!"
8. We have made a list of all persons who claim to not understand this "Bono thing"? and we have vowed to convert them.
9. We have Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others or ourselves. We draw the line at explaining what it's like to watch Bono sing Stuck in a Moment less than a foot away while we try to drive. Surely an accident would be inevitable.
10. We continue to take personal inventory of our bootleg CD, official CD, video, and picture collections and when we discover there is something we do not have, we promptly make arrangement to GET it. Maxing out credit cards, putting a second mortgage on the house-they are doing another North American Elevation leg you know?
11. We have sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with Bono as we understand him, praying only for knowledge of his will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we try to carry this message to realized and unrealized Bono fans everywhere.
And then...the feathers, the rosary, AND The short hair! What more could a girl want?
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And your earth moves beneath
Your own dream landscape
You
can dream, so dream out loud!
"The way to be optimistic is not to shut your eyes and close your ears." -Bono
Create Light, Create Unity, Create Joy, CREATE PEACE!
