Sad_Girl
Blue Crack Supplier
**Disclaimer: Although obviously inspired in part by people who exist in real life, this story is in no way meant to represent reality, past, present or future. The author has no personal experience or contact with the band or their friends and family. There are facts within this story which may be contrary to real life either because they were changed for artistic purposes or simply because the author had no knowledge of the truth on a particular subject; i.e.: dates and times. No offense is intended to anyone who inspired this work of fiction. It’s just a wandering thought which I found trapped in the maze of my imagination.
Babyface Part 4
It had been two weeks since Larry and Janet had gone out for the first time, and not one day had passed in which they did not see one another. Every morning he still anticipated the time when he would be able to spend with her that day, and it helped him through the other bits of the day which surely would’ve just dragged on otherwise. Every afternoon, as soon he was released from school, he hurried down to the store on Raglan road and hung around until it was time to rehearse.
He hadn’t been able to visit her apartment again, which had frustrated him, but tonight was his birthday and since she had to work, she had promised to make him dinner in celebration. He smiled at the thought of her cozy apartment, imagining where the evening would lead. His sister and father would have a gift for him this afternoon, and a cake most likely. He dreaded the awkward attempt they would make at celebrating despite the absence of the woman who had been the light of their lives. This was the first special occasion since his mothers death.
He did his best to think about other things, because when he thought too long and hard about the people who he had lost, his insides seemed to twist into great knots of pain and anger. He didn’t like it, the sick to his stomach feeling, the urge to lash out and strike something. Hurting someone or breaking something would not make him feel better. He decided to go out to the shed where they rehearsed and to take his emotional energy out on his drums, and so he spent the morning of his seventeenth birthday as he had already spent so many days, seated behind his drumkit, setting a new rhythm for his broken heart.
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Janet’s mind was nowhere near the store, even though she stood behind the cash register and rang up customer after customer. She went through the routine like a zombie, her body knowing the motions from hours of repetition and her mind on leave of absence.
“Miss?” She heard the older gentleman ask, his voice raised and his face beginning to turn red. “My change?” he demanded and she shook her head in an attempt to bring her thoughts back to the here and now.
“I am so sorry!” She said, opening the cash register and retrieving the money she owed the man.
“I’m going to try that, next time I’m in a store and the cashier is all spacey.” She heard a familiar voice comment. She glanced up at the person waiting his turn in queue, dressed smartly in a pair of tight white trousers and a short sleeve shirt with an asymmetrical design across the chest and one sleeve.
“Try what?” She asked Adam with a frown.
“Demanding change, whether I’m owed it or not.” He told her with his upside down smile. Janet’s mouth opened, her eyes widening as she turned and glanced at the door through which the man had exited. “I’m just having you on.” Adam told her with a chuckle, and Janet breathed a sigh of relief.
“Don’t scare me like that!” She laughed. “What are you up to today?” She asked him, her posture relaxing noticeably. Finally, things were slowing down; Adam was the only customer left in the store.
“I’m rounding up people and resources.” Adam explained.
“And which are you here for?” She asked, cocking her head to one side playfully.
“Both, actually.” Adam told her, smacking his lips as he paused. “I’m sure you know that tonight is Larry’s birthday.” He said, and Janet nodded. “Well, we were thinking he really deserves to have a big party this year. Problem is, none of us has a place to have it.”
“So you want to use my flat.” She finished his thought. “I don’t know, Adam…”
“It wouldn’t be THAT many people. And you wouldn’t even have to have any of the food or any of that; I have people taking care of all of that, so it wouldn’t cost you anything.” Adam informed her with all the smooth grace of a snake oil salesman.
“All right.” Janet agreed warily, writing down her address for him. As she handed it to him, Adam leaned over the counter and kissed her on the cheek.
“Thanks. You won’t regret it.” He said, and Janet chewed her bottom lip nervously. In her experience, anytime someone felt the need to say she wouldn’t regret something, inevitably, she did.
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Janet found herself constantly searching the room for Larry, but it took most of the night before she finally got a second alone with him. As soon as they’d arrived, Bono and Edge had begun to ransack her bookshelf and her music collection. There were now more records and books stacked up or strewn about on the floor than there were remaining on the shelves.
Adam sat in the middle of her couch, surrounded on each side by a group of girls who Janet had seen, now, at two of the shows. They were already giddy even before they lit up and started smoking, passing one joint back and forth between the small group. Ali and one of her closest girlfriends were in the kitchenette opening cans of crisps and keeping the boys from sticking their fingers in the frosting. There were also half a dozen more people whose names she neither knew nor cared to learn milling about her tiny home.
They all wanted a few moments of Larry’s time, wishing him a happy birthday and chatting him up despite the fact that he was clearly not happy at all. Finally, after Adam’s insistence upon cutting the birthday cake (which Janet had gone to the bakery and picked up on a hunch that no one else would think of it) the chaos seemed to fade a little. There were people sprawled out over all of her furniture and much of the floor, having grown mellow and sedate, listening to Bruce Springsteen and chatting amiably amongst themselves about everything and nothing.
She saw Larry slip out the door quietly while Bono held most of the groups attention with a rather animated rant about the administrative policy mistake which had let him into University briefly and then caused him to be kicked out. Janet excused herself quietly and followed him into the hall.
“Hey.” She greeted him shyly.
“Hey.” He replied.
“I have something for you.” She told him, Her hands hidden behind her back.
“Oh yeah?” He asked, his interest perking up a little. She smiled brightly at him and nodded.
“It’s not something brand new or anything, but I know it’s something you like. And I think you’ll look good in it.” She said, swinging her leather jacket out from behind her and draping it over his shoulders playfully, pulling him chest to chest with her in the process.
“Your jacket? I can’t take your jacket.” He said, looking down at the expensive black leather jacket in surprise.
“That’s good, because it’s not mine.” She said, kissing him lightly. “It’s yours. And don’t argue. It was my brothers before it was mine.” She told him as he slipped his arms into the sleeves. “Perfect fit.” She told him, even though it was a size too big. She slipped her arms beneath the jacket and around his waist, resting her head on his shoulder. “Happy birthday, babyface.” She sighed.
“Don’t call me that in front of the others, ok?” He asked, wrapping his arms around her and swaying slightly, in time with the music playing inside the apartment. The walls might as well have been made of paper, for all the privacy they allowed.
“Ok.” She agreed with a smile. “I suppose we should go back in and enjoy your party.”
“Thanks, by the way. I know I haven’t exactly been the life of the party tonight, but that doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate the effort.” He told her.
“Thank Adam. It was his suggestion.” She told him as she slipped her hand into his and led him back into the apartment. They found a seat on a bean bag chair near the stereo, curled up next to one another cozily.
“So, Janet. Larry says you want to be a writer. What kind of stuff do you write?” Edge asked, settling down near them on the floor, a beer for himself in one hand and one for Larry in the other.
“Poetry, mostly.” She replied, taking the beer from Larry and drinking from it before setting it aside. She clambered up, leaning over Larry to pull several journals off the bookshelf. She sat back down and paged through them for a moment, glancing up when Bono and Ali settled down onto the floor on the other side of them.
“Here.” She said, offering Edge the book, open to the page she wanted him to read.
“I’d like to see your poems, too.” Bono informed her.
“Can I read this aloud?” Edge asked, his sea green eyes watching her reaction carefully. Obviously, he had an idea how personal a persons writings could be. It was not an easy thing to share with others.
“Sure.” Janet agreed, taking another long pull from the beer bottle.
“This is titled: bring you home.” Edge began, his crisp, clear voice cutting through the noise of the others and the music.
“What is it like, to be at the place where the Earth and Hell meet?
Choking on the smell of fire and steam; wallowing in war
Coated in jungle rot, so far away from everything you know
Killing people you would never know, no idea what it’s all for?
I dream that I am there, beside you in the chaos and the heat
Sometimes the world around us is hidden by sheets of rain
Other times, I can see, though I wish that I could not
For all that exists around us is death and blood and pain
I want to go home, I want to turn away; pretend that it’s not real
But if I do that; if I walk away; I leave you there
And I can’t do that. I can’t leave you there alone in hell
If you must suffer it then it’s something I, too, will bear
Brother; you are more than any friend I’ve had
You are part of me, one which I am not willing to lose
And if it’s Hell by your side or home without you
Then it’s this God forsaken place I choose.
Until there is a way to bring you back where you belong
I will not rest, I will not forget or let you be alone
You loved your country, and you didn’t ignore the call
And now we all owe it to you to help you come back home.”
“Your brother fought in Vietnam?” Bono asked, his blue eyes wide with interest and sympathy.
“Yeah. He’s been MIA since seventy two.” She replied, fighting the unexpected tears threatening at the back of her eyes. She hadn’t thought of Ben in a long time, now. He was eight years her elder, and he had been her hero since the day she was born.
“I’m so sorry.” Larry told her, his arm around her tightening it’s grip, his hand rubbing her side soothingly. The realization of just how important his birthday gift had been sinking in.
“Well, there’s hope. Supposedly the UN is going to recover the POW’s. Maybe he’s alive and just been in some jungle war prison for the past six years.” She said, trying to sound hopeful. She barely managed to sound sarcastic. She sighed and forced a smile. “Ok, on to something else. This is supposed to be a party.”
“That was really good.” Edge told Janet, moving to return the book to her. Before she could take it, though, Bono had it in his hands and was paging through it.
“Uh-oh.” He said with a broad, devious smile. “This looks like a new one.” He shot a look at Janet to make sure she wasn’t particularly upset by his invasion.
“Go ahead.” She told him, settling back against the bean bag, Larry’s arm wrapped around her firmly.
“Your name lingers on my lips. Like chocolate. Like peanut butter on the roof of my mouth. I say it, again and again… Rolling it over on my tongue, tasting it, sticky, sweet and smooth.
Your voice echoes in my mind; Sweeter than any symphony I’ve ever heard. It gets in my blood and slides along my veins, filling me up from the inside out.” He read aloud.
“That’s lovely.” Ali told Janet.
“And right here underneath the date, what does that say?” Bono asked, showing the book to Ali.
“It says … Oh, Bono stop picking on him!” She said, trying to snatch the book out of Bono’s hands. When Bono moved to keep the journal safe from Ali, Larry lurched forward and grabbed it. He glanced at the page in question briefly to see his name written several times over, doodled in different types of script and along side messy ink hearts.
“Oops.” Janet said, snatching the book out of Larry’s hands now and clutching it to her chest. “I forgot about that.” The embarrassed smile on her lips and the pleasant blush that colored her cheeks made everyone chuckle, of course. Larry looked nearly as embarrassed as she did, and they both seemed to want to hide under his jacket.
“Does anyone need anything? I’m going to get another.” Edge offered, taking the focus off of the young couple.
“Yeah, me too.” Bono agreed, standing to follow his friend the six feet over to the refrigerator. Soon their minds were back on other things. Music, mostly. Bono told them of his new scheme to get the money so that the four of them could move to London after Larry graduated. Not permanently, just long enough to get the attention of the record companies.
It was interesting, for Janet, to hear this. Back home being in a rock band was mostly something young people did because they had dreams of leaving their hometown behind and moving on to bigger and better. While they certainly were curious about the rest of the world, none of them seemed particularly eager to leave Dublin permanently. They were much more true to the music itself, and the message they could convey through music. Most people would probably laugh at the thought of a punk band being such true artists, but that was, Janet thought, exactly what they were.
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“Is your Dad gonna be pissed off at you for being out so late?” Janet asked as the last of the guests stumbled out the door at a quarter after two a.m. Larry shook his head, smiling guiltily.
“No. He thinks I’m staying at Bono’s.” He admitted and Janet arched an eyebrow at him, trying not to smile. Her heart was doing cartwheels in her chest at the thought of having him hear for the whole night.
“I thought you didn’t lie.” She teased.
“I can still go to Bono’s. If you want me to.” He said, turning as if to leave. Janet grabbed him and turned him to face her, rising to her tiptoes so that they were eye to eye, nose to nose.
“Not a chance.” She whispered, her lips brushing over his as she spoke. He leaned forward, reaching for her kiss, but she leaned back playfully. His eyes gleamed with an eagerness as he tightened his grip on her waist and leaned forward more aggressively, claiming her mouth fiercely.
“Mmmm…” Janet moaned against his mouth, her hands running through his hair as his moved up and down over the length of her back, spreading a nearly uncomfortable heat throughout her body. She broke the kiss and smiled at him sweetly, resting her forehead against his.
“Why don’t you change the record?” She asked, gazing at him from beneath half lidded eyes. He nodded in agreement and watched for a moment after she pulled away from him. First she moved to lock the door, then she began turning off lights. He moved to find the right record as she disappeared into the bathroom. Once he’d started the music he debated with himself for a moment whether or not he should be so bold as to pull the bed out of the sofa. It didn’t take him long to decide it would be ok, since it was obviously already understood he’d be staying all night.
His palms were slick with sweat and he had to wipe them dry on his pants more than once before he managed to wrestle the convertible bed out of it’s hiding place. There were sheets already lining the mattress and he found the pillows and blankets piled on top of the wardrobe. He had the bed made up and was slipping out of his shoes when the door to the bathroom swung open and he turned to see her.
He blinked at her, his blood rushing too fast in his ears, throbbing too hard in all his pulse points for him to think clearly. She smiled at him, shyly casting her eyes to the floor, examining her brightly painted toenails. In the background Rod Stewart sang ‘Tonight’s the night’, and for a moment, that was the only sound in the room.
“Is it that bad?” She asked, and he shook his head at her, coming out of his stupor.
“No! No.” he said, his eyes washing over her greedily. In his eyes, she looked like an angel. Her long blonde hair was loose from the pony-tail which had held it all night, framing her face and falling over her shoulders. Her nearly completely exposed shoulders, her couldn’t help but notice. The simple white satin nightgown she wore had lace at the low bodice and the hem, which fell just above mid-thigh. “You’re so beautiful.” He whispered as he approached her awkwardly, suddenly unsure of himself and all too aware of their age difference for the first time.
“Thank you.” She whispered back, wrapping her arms around his waist and angling her face toward him so he could kiss her. His kiss was considerably more tentative this time than the one earlier, but she coaxed him into a deeper kiss easily enough. She turned off the last light, leaving a faint glow coming from the one window above the television and a soft night light burning in the bathroom.
She sat down onto the bed and he slid eagerly onto the mattress beside her, kissing her hungrily, hovering over her. His hand slid up her side to cup her breast and she felt him sigh as his thumb brushed over her peaked nipple.
He was shaking, she realized as she slid her hands up beneath the soft cotton material of his T-shirt. Her hands ran up and down over the sinewy muscle of his back as they kissed, and when she slipped one hand around to run over his smooth chest, one fingertip brushing over a nipple his mouth slid off of hers and he made a sound which was half gasp, half choke. His breathing was already heavy, his heart pounding against his chest wall hard enough that she could feel it when their chests made contact.
“Larry?” She asked, turning her face to whisper in his ear. He had recovered quickly, moving to kiss her neck, his face half buried in her hair. When he sensed her hesitate, heard the tone in her voice, he leaned up on one elbow to look down into her shimmering green eyes.
“What’s wrong?” He asked, although he already knew what she was going to say. He’d been through this in his mind a dozen times.
“Nothing’s wrong. Can I ask you something, though?” She said, reaching up to stroke his cheek, running her thumb over his lower lip and making him shiver. “Have you… I mean, are you … a virgin?” She already knew the answer before the word had even passed her lips. She could see the turmoil in the young mans eyes as he tried to think of the best way to reply.
“Oh God.” She moaned, propping herself up on her elbows. “I didn’t mean… I mean, it’s ok. There’s nothing wrong with…” she stammered, knowing there was nothing she could say that would make things better. “Hey!” She said, taking his face in her hands and forcing him to look her in the eye. “I’m glad.” She told him, her lips brushing his gently once, twice, and finally on the third kiss he kissed her back as they sank back down onto the mattress.
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“I love you.” He told her, the words slipping out on a breath before his brain could edit them. Janet grew completely still, not even breathing for a moment. He felt her hair tickle his cheek as she turned to whisper in his ear.
“I love you too, babyface.” She told him, and he could hear the smile in her voice. He rolled over onto his side, keeping her close. He rested his head against her chest, his arm wrapped around her waist. He savored the feeling of her fingers in his hair. “Happy birthday.” She told him as he fought the pull of sleep.
“It’s hard to believe that a little over two weeks ago, I thought this was going to be the worst birthday of my life.” He mumbled sleepily.
“Why?”
“Because it was … because it’s the first one since I lost my mum, I guess. And everyone else it out of school, they treat me like a kid sometimes, still. I thought I would be lonely and frustrated, and just wanted to get it over with. Put it behind me, you know?” He told her, his hand stroking her side, her hip and the side of her leg as he spoke.
“Oh, Larry. I didn’t realize.” She told him, kissing him on top of his hair.
“It’s ok, though. Because I’m none of those things. My mates were all here tonight, none of them acting like I was a baby, y’know? And because I’m not alone, I’ve never felt less alone in my life.” He told her, his words fading into a yawn.
“You’re not alone.” She assured him, stroking his muscular arm with one hand. She was tempted to say more, but from the depth of his breathing and the heaviness of his head and arm across her chest and abdomen, she could tell he was already asleep. She blinked away the tears that had sprung to her eyes as she had realized, for the first time in years, she wasn’t alone anymore either.
Some of you may already have the section which was edited out for the sake of the forum rules in your e-mail. if you didn't and want to, let me know.
Babyface Part 4
It had been two weeks since Larry and Janet had gone out for the first time, and not one day had passed in which they did not see one another. Every morning he still anticipated the time when he would be able to spend with her that day, and it helped him through the other bits of the day which surely would’ve just dragged on otherwise. Every afternoon, as soon he was released from school, he hurried down to the store on Raglan road and hung around until it was time to rehearse.
He hadn’t been able to visit her apartment again, which had frustrated him, but tonight was his birthday and since she had to work, she had promised to make him dinner in celebration. He smiled at the thought of her cozy apartment, imagining where the evening would lead. His sister and father would have a gift for him this afternoon, and a cake most likely. He dreaded the awkward attempt they would make at celebrating despite the absence of the woman who had been the light of their lives. This was the first special occasion since his mothers death.
He did his best to think about other things, because when he thought too long and hard about the people who he had lost, his insides seemed to twist into great knots of pain and anger. He didn’t like it, the sick to his stomach feeling, the urge to lash out and strike something. Hurting someone or breaking something would not make him feel better. He decided to go out to the shed where they rehearsed and to take his emotional energy out on his drums, and so he spent the morning of his seventeenth birthday as he had already spent so many days, seated behind his drumkit, setting a new rhythm for his broken heart.
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Janet’s mind was nowhere near the store, even though she stood behind the cash register and rang up customer after customer. She went through the routine like a zombie, her body knowing the motions from hours of repetition and her mind on leave of absence.
“Miss?” She heard the older gentleman ask, his voice raised and his face beginning to turn red. “My change?” he demanded and she shook her head in an attempt to bring her thoughts back to the here and now.
“I am so sorry!” She said, opening the cash register and retrieving the money she owed the man.
“I’m going to try that, next time I’m in a store and the cashier is all spacey.” She heard a familiar voice comment. She glanced up at the person waiting his turn in queue, dressed smartly in a pair of tight white trousers and a short sleeve shirt with an asymmetrical design across the chest and one sleeve.
“Try what?” She asked Adam with a frown.
“Demanding change, whether I’m owed it or not.” He told her with his upside down smile. Janet’s mouth opened, her eyes widening as she turned and glanced at the door through which the man had exited. “I’m just having you on.” Adam told her with a chuckle, and Janet breathed a sigh of relief.
“Don’t scare me like that!” She laughed. “What are you up to today?” She asked him, her posture relaxing noticeably. Finally, things were slowing down; Adam was the only customer left in the store.
“I’m rounding up people and resources.” Adam explained.
“And which are you here for?” She asked, cocking her head to one side playfully.
“Both, actually.” Adam told her, smacking his lips as he paused. “I’m sure you know that tonight is Larry’s birthday.” He said, and Janet nodded. “Well, we were thinking he really deserves to have a big party this year. Problem is, none of us has a place to have it.”
“So you want to use my flat.” She finished his thought. “I don’t know, Adam…”
“It wouldn’t be THAT many people. And you wouldn’t even have to have any of the food or any of that; I have people taking care of all of that, so it wouldn’t cost you anything.” Adam informed her with all the smooth grace of a snake oil salesman.
“All right.” Janet agreed warily, writing down her address for him. As she handed it to him, Adam leaned over the counter and kissed her on the cheek.
“Thanks. You won’t regret it.” He said, and Janet chewed her bottom lip nervously. In her experience, anytime someone felt the need to say she wouldn’t regret something, inevitably, she did.
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Janet found herself constantly searching the room for Larry, but it took most of the night before she finally got a second alone with him. As soon as they’d arrived, Bono and Edge had begun to ransack her bookshelf and her music collection. There were now more records and books stacked up or strewn about on the floor than there were remaining on the shelves.
Adam sat in the middle of her couch, surrounded on each side by a group of girls who Janet had seen, now, at two of the shows. They were already giddy even before they lit up and started smoking, passing one joint back and forth between the small group. Ali and one of her closest girlfriends were in the kitchenette opening cans of crisps and keeping the boys from sticking their fingers in the frosting. There were also half a dozen more people whose names she neither knew nor cared to learn milling about her tiny home.
They all wanted a few moments of Larry’s time, wishing him a happy birthday and chatting him up despite the fact that he was clearly not happy at all. Finally, after Adam’s insistence upon cutting the birthday cake (which Janet had gone to the bakery and picked up on a hunch that no one else would think of it) the chaos seemed to fade a little. There were people sprawled out over all of her furniture and much of the floor, having grown mellow and sedate, listening to Bruce Springsteen and chatting amiably amongst themselves about everything and nothing.
She saw Larry slip out the door quietly while Bono held most of the groups attention with a rather animated rant about the administrative policy mistake which had let him into University briefly and then caused him to be kicked out. Janet excused herself quietly and followed him into the hall.
“Hey.” She greeted him shyly.
“Hey.” He replied.
“I have something for you.” She told him, Her hands hidden behind her back.
“Oh yeah?” He asked, his interest perking up a little. She smiled brightly at him and nodded.
“It’s not something brand new or anything, but I know it’s something you like. And I think you’ll look good in it.” She said, swinging her leather jacket out from behind her and draping it over his shoulders playfully, pulling him chest to chest with her in the process.
“Your jacket? I can’t take your jacket.” He said, looking down at the expensive black leather jacket in surprise.
“That’s good, because it’s not mine.” She said, kissing him lightly. “It’s yours. And don’t argue. It was my brothers before it was mine.” She told him as he slipped his arms into the sleeves. “Perfect fit.” She told him, even though it was a size too big. She slipped her arms beneath the jacket and around his waist, resting her head on his shoulder. “Happy birthday, babyface.” She sighed.
“Don’t call me that in front of the others, ok?” He asked, wrapping his arms around her and swaying slightly, in time with the music playing inside the apartment. The walls might as well have been made of paper, for all the privacy they allowed.
“Ok.” She agreed with a smile. “I suppose we should go back in and enjoy your party.”
“Thanks, by the way. I know I haven’t exactly been the life of the party tonight, but that doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate the effort.” He told her.
“Thank Adam. It was his suggestion.” She told him as she slipped her hand into his and led him back into the apartment. They found a seat on a bean bag chair near the stereo, curled up next to one another cozily.
“So, Janet. Larry says you want to be a writer. What kind of stuff do you write?” Edge asked, settling down near them on the floor, a beer for himself in one hand and one for Larry in the other.
“Poetry, mostly.” She replied, taking the beer from Larry and drinking from it before setting it aside. She clambered up, leaning over Larry to pull several journals off the bookshelf. She sat back down and paged through them for a moment, glancing up when Bono and Ali settled down onto the floor on the other side of them.
“Here.” She said, offering Edge the book, open to the page she wanted him to read.
“I’d like to see your poems, too.” Bono informed her.
“Can I read this aloud?” Edge asked, his sea green eyes watching her reaction carefully. Obviously, he had an idea how personal a persons writings could be. It was not an easy thing to share with others.
“Sure.” Janet agreed, taking another long pull from the beer bottle.
“This is titled: bring you home.” Edge began, his crisp, clear voice cutting through the noise of the others and the music.
“What is it like, to be at the place where the Earth and Hell meet?
Choking on the smell of fire and steam; wallowing in war
Coated in jungle rot, so far away from everything you know
Killing people you would never know, no idea what it’s all for?
I dream that I am there, beside you in the chaos and the heat
Sometimes the world around us is hidden by sheets of rain
Other times, I can see, though I wish that I could not
For all that exists around us is death and blood and pain
I want to go home, I want to turn away; pretend that it’s not real
But if I do that; if I walk away; I leave you there
And I can’t do that. I can’t leave you there alone in hell
If you must suffer it then it’s something I, too, will bear
Brother; you are more than any friend I’ve had
You are part of me, one which I am not willing to lose
And if it’s Hell by your side or home without you
Then it’s this God forsaken place I choose.
Until there is a way to bring you back where you belong
I will not rest, I will not forget or let you be alone
You loved your country, and you didn’t ignore the call
And now we all owe it to you to help you come back home.”
“Your brother fought in Vietnam?” Bono asked, his blue eyes wide with interest and sympathy.
“Yeah. He’s been MIA since seventy two.” She replied, fighting the unexpected tears threatening at the back of her eyes. She hadn’t thought of Ben in a long time, now. He was eight years her elder, and he had been her hero since the day she was born.
“I’m so sorry.” Larry told her, his arm around her tightening it’s grip, his hand rubbing her side soothingly. The realization of just how important his birthday gift had been sinking in.
“Well, there’s hope. Supposedly the UN is going to recover the POW’s. Maybe he’s alive and just been in some jungle war prison for the past six years.” She said, trying to sound hopeful. She barely managed to sound sarcastic. She sighed and forced a smile. “Ok, on to something else. This is supposed to be a party.”
“That was really good.” Edge told Janet, moving to return the book to her. Before she could take it, though, Bono had it in his hands and was paging through it.
“Uh-oh.” He said with a broad, devious smile. “This looks like a new one.” He shot a look at Janet to make sure she wasn’t particularly upset by his invasion.
“Go ahead.” She told him, settling back against the bean bag, Larry’s arm wrapped around her firmly.
“Your name lingers on my lips. Like chocolate. Like peanut butter on the roof of my mouth. I say it, again and again… Rolling it over on my tongue, tasting it, sticky, sweet and smooth.
Your voice echoes in my mind; Sweeter than any symphony I’ve ever heard. It gets in my blood and slides along my veins, filling me up from the inside out.” He read aloud.
“That’s lovely.” Ali told Janet.
“And right here underneath the date, what does that say?” Bono asked, showing the book to Ali.
“It says … Oh, Bono stop picking on him!” She said, trying to snatch the book out of Bono’s hands. When Bono moved to keep the journal safe from Ali, Larry lurched forward and grabbed it. He glanced at the page in question briefly to see his name written several times over, doodled in different types of script and along side messy ink hearts.
“Oops.” Janet said, snatching the book out of Larry’s hands now and clutching it to her chest. “I forgot about that.” The embarrassed smile on her lips and the pleasant blush that colored her cheeks made everyone chuckle, of course. Larry looked nearly as embarrassed as she did, and they both seemed to want to hide under his jacket.
“Does anyone need anything? I’m going to get another.” Edge offered, taking the focus off of the young couple.
“Yeah, me too.” Bono agreed, standing to follow his friend the six feet over to the refrigerator. Soon their minds were back on other things. Music, mostly. Bono told them of his new scheme to get the money so that the four of them could move to London after Larry graduated. Not permanently, just long enough to get the attention of the record companies.
It was interesting, for Janet, to hear this. Back home being in a rock band was mostly something young people did because they had dreams of leaving their hometown behind and moving on to bigger and better. While they certainly were curious about the rest of the world, none of them seemed particularly eager to leave Dublin permanently. They were much more true to the music itself, and the message they could convey through music. Most people would probably laugh at the thought of a punk band being such true artists, but that was, Janet thought, exactly what they were.
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“Is your Dad gonna be pissed off at you for being out so late?” Janet asked as the last of the guests stumbled out the door at a quarter after two a.m. Larry shook his head, smiling guiltily.
“No. He thinks I’m staying at Bono’s.” He admitted and Janet arched an eyebrow at him, trying not to smile. Her heart was doing cartwheels in her chest at the thought of having him hear for the whole night.
“I thought you didn’t lie.” She teased.
“I can still go to Bono’s. If you want me to.” He said, turning as if to leave. Janet grabbed him and turned him to face her, rising to her tiptoes so that they were eye to eye, nose to nose.
“Not a chance.” She whispered, her lips brushing over his as she spoke. He leaned forward, reaching for her kiss, but she leaned back playfully. His eyes gleamed with an eagerness as he tightened his grip on her waist and leaned forward more aggressively, claiming her mouth fiercely.
“Mmmm…” Janet moaned against his mouth, her hands running through his hair as his moved up and down over the length of her back, spreading a nearly uncomfortable heat throughout her body. She broke the kiss and smiled at him sweetly, resting her forehead against his.
“Why don’t you change the record?” She asked, gazing at him from beneath half lidded eyes. He nodded in agreement and watched for a moment after she pulled away from him. First she moved to lock the door, then she began turning off lights. He moved to find the right record as she disappeared into the bathroom. Once he’d started the music he debated with himself for a moment whether or not he should be so bold as to pull the bed out of the sofa. It didn’t take him long to decide it would be ok, since it was obviously already understood he’d be staying all night.
His palms were slick with sweat and he had to wipe them dry on his pants more than once before he managed to wrestle the convertible bed out of it’s hiding place. There were sheets already lining the mattress and he found the pillows and blankets piled on top of the wardrobe. He had the bed made up and was slipping out of his shoes when the door to the bathroom swung open and he turned to see her.
He blinked at her, his blood rushing too fast in his ears, throbbing too hard in all his pulse points for him to think clearly. She smiled at him, shyly casting her eyes to the floor, examining her brightly painted toenails. In the background Rod Stewart sang ‘Tonight’s the night’, and for a moment, that was the only sound in the room.
“Is it that bad?” She asked, and he shook his head at her, coming out of his stupor.
“No! No.” he said, his eyes washing over her greedily. In his eyes, she looked like an angel. Her long blonde hair was loose from the pony-tail which had held it all night, framing her face and falling over her shoulders. Her nearly completely exposed shoulders, her couldn’t help but notice. The simple white satin nightgown she wore had lace at the low bodice and the hem, which fell just above mid-thigh. “You’re so beautiful.” He whispered as he approached her awkwardly, suddenly unsure of himself and all too aware of their age difference for the first time.
“Thank you.” She whispered back, wrapping her arms around his waist and angling her face toward him so he could kiss her. His kiss was considerably more tentative this time than the one earlier, but she coaxed him into a deeper kiss easily enough. She turned off the last light, leaving a faint glow coming from the one window above the television and a soft night light burning in the bathroom.
She sat down onto the bed and he slid eagerly onto the mattress beside her, kissing her hungrily, hovering over her. His hand slid up her side to cup her breast and she felt him sigh as his thumb brushed over her peaked nipple.
He was shaking, she realized as she slid her hands up beneath the soft cotton material of his T-shirt. Her hands ran up and down over the sinewy muscle of his back as they kissed, and when she slipped one hand around to run over his smooth chest, one fingertip brushing over a nipple his mouth slid off of hers and he made a sound which was half gasp, half choke. His breathing was already heavy, his heart pounding against his chest wall hard enough that she could feel it when their chests made contact.
“Larry?” She asked, turning her face to whisper in his ear. He had recovered quickly, moving to kiss her neck, his face half buried in her hair. When he sensed her hesitate, heard the tone in her voice, he leaned up on one elbow to look down into her shimmering green eyes.
“What’s wrong?” He asked, although he already knew what she was going to say. He’d been through this in his mind a dozen times.
“Nothing’s wrong. Can I ask you something, though?” She said, reaching up to stroke his cheek, running her thumb over his lower lip and making him shiver. “Have you… I mean, are you … a virgin?” She already knew the answer before the word had even passed her lips. She could see the turmoil in the young mans eyes as he tried to think of the best way to reply.
“Oh God.” She moaned, propping herself up on her elbows. “I didn’t mean… I mean, it’s ok. There’s nothing wrong with…” she stammered, knowing there was nothing she could say that would make things better. “Hey!” She said, taking his face in her hands and forcing him to look her in the eye. “I’m glad.” She told him, her lips brushing his gently once, twice, and finally on the third kiss he kissed her back as they sank back down onto the mattress.
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“I love you.” He told her, the words slipping out on a breath before his brain could edit them. Janet grew completely still, not even breathing for a moment. He felt her hair tickle his cheek as she turned to whisper in his ear.
“I love you too, babyface.” She told him, and he could hear the smile in her voice. He rolled over onto his side, keeping her close. He rested his head against her chest, his arm wrapped around her waist. He savored the feeling of her fingers in his hair. “Happy birthday.” She told him as he fought the pull of sleep.
“It’s hard to believe that a little over two weeks ago, I thought this was going to be the worst birthday of my life.” He mumbled sleepily.
“Why?”
“Because it was … because it’s the first one since I lost my mum, I guess. And everyone else it out of school, they treat me like a kid sometimes, still. I thought I would be lonely and frustrated, and just wanted to get it over with. Put it behind me, you know?” He told her, his hand stroking her side, her hip and the side of her leg as he spoke.
“Oh, Larry. I didn’t realize.” She told him, kissing him on top of his hair.
“It’s ok, though. Because I’m none of those things. My mates were all here tonight, none of them acting like I was a baby, y’know? And because I’m not alone, I’ve never felt less alone in my life.” He told her, his words fading into a yawn.
“You’re not alone.” She assured him, stroking his muscular arm with one hand. She was tempted to say more, but from the depth of his breathing and the heaviness of his head and arm across her chest and abdomen, she could tell he was already asleep. She blinked away the tears that had sprung to her eyes as she had realized, for the first time in years, she wasn’t alone anymore either.
Some of you may already have the section which was edited out for the sake of the forum rules in your e-mail. if you didn't and want to, let me know.
Oh my...
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Hi! Can I have the extended version too?
