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Old 04-23-2008, 01:04 PM   #1
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A Warrior's Homecoming: Chapter 8

**This chapter starts to deal with sensitive subject matter. It is not meant to offend anyone. I have no experience with this subject so my apologies go out in advance. I didn't plan for the story to go this way, but it just sort of ended up here. Oh yeah, still don't know the band and any resemblence to characters is solely for the readers entertainment. It's a short one, let me know what you think.


Chapter 8


Lawrence lost himself in the forest. He felt as if he'd been run through with a sword. His mind reeled. All this time he'd spent fighting to keep the English away from his village, his family. They'd come anyway. He'd lost his childhood to them, days that should have been carefree, gone. His parents were dead, the girl he loved forced to bear a child in the shame of rape. He'd somehow found his way back to the burial site. He knelt at his parents graves and prayed.

"God in heaven, I'm so lost", he said out loud. I don't know where to turn or what to do next. Please guide me."

Should he rejoin the band of warriors? It all seemed pointless now. He couln't stay here anymore, could he? "God's Wounds, the pain in my heart is more than I can bear", he thought. Lawrence, still on his knees, raised his head to heaven and roared out his frustration.

"Good Saint Patrick, lad." Are ye tryin' to put me in an early grave?" Lawrence spun around at the sound. "Forgive me, Friar Evans, but I didna see ye there." Lawrence had the good sense to look ashamed. "The smitty sent me here, said I'd be some help to ye, now that ye know the truth of all that happened the night ye left," replied the priest.

Lawrence thought for a long moment. He'd had to rely on himself for so long he'd forgotten what it was like to ask for help. Maybe Friar Evans was right. Maybe he could help. Besides, didn't Lawrence just admit to himself that Brigid was the girl he'd loved?
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Old 04-23-2008, 02:38 PM   #2
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I have alway enjoyed reading historic fiction and particularily stories set in Ireland, England and Scotland. I like this story. Well written.
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Old 04-23-2008, 02:49 PM   #3
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i like it.
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Old 04-23-2008, 08:12 PM   #4
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I like it and I'm not much for period pieces - especially really period pieces. Although saying that, I would love to see the boys in a Sense and Sensibilty type story.

I have one question - how would Lawrence know that Brigid was raped?
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Old 04-24-2008, 07:29 AM   #5
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Quote:
Originally posted by GraceRyan
I like it and I'm not much for period pieces - especially really period pieces. Although saying that, I would love to see the boys in a Sense and Sensibilty type story.

I have one question - how would Lawrence know that Brigid was raped?
In chapter 7 Lawrence sees a young girl, age 3, come out of the cottage where Brigid lives. He doesn't think she looks like anyone in that family. Then, when Brigid faints the little girl asks Lawrence "Why is mama sleeping." The time frame fits. Lawrence has been gone 4 years, the English killed his parents and Tom's wife, so a rape would fit in. Going back to the prologue for this story the reader sees the attraction of Brigid and Lawrence towards one another, so I wouldn't want Brigid to just go off with another boy from the village, but rather wait for Lawrence to come home. But the circumstances of that night changed things.
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Old 04-24-2008, 01:12 PM   #6
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I've found over time that writing isn't as easy as it seems. With good stories people get quite involved to the point of asking questions about situations/characters. That was a good point GraceRyan brought up as I wondered the same thing.

When they ask questions it shows that they are interested and think about what they are reading. Detail to dates, ages, times are very important and I think you're doing a grand job with this one.

I for one am very interested to see where this is going to go.
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Old 04-25-2008, 07:40 AM   #7
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Thank you to everyone who has taken their time to read this story, ask questions, and offer kind words!! I really appreciate it!!
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Old 04-25-2008, 07:47 AM   #8
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I'm suprised no one has commented on the chapter 8 intoduction of Friar Evans!!! Edge a priest in a past life?? Who knew?!?!
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Old 04-25-2008, 02:07 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally posted by ALass4Larry
I'm suprised no one has commented on the chapter 8 intoduction of Friar Evans!!! Edge a priest in a past life?? Who knew?!?!
I have to admt that I giggled at first at the image of Edge being a Friar. However, giving it deeper thought, I think Edge would make a fine Friar. I could see him being calm, thoughtful, having a good ear to listen to ppl and giving sensible advice.

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Old 04-30-2008, 08:06 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally posted by ALass4Larry


In chapter 7 Lawrence sees a young girl, age 3, come out of the cottage where Brigid lives. He doesn't think she looks like anyone in that family. Then, when Brigid faints the little girl asks Lawrence "Why is mama sleeping." The time frame fits. Lawrence has been gone 4 years, the English killed his parents and Tom's wife, so a rape would fit in. Going back to the prologue for this story the reader sees the attraction of Brigid and Lawrence towards one another, so I wouldn't want Brigid to just go off with another boy from the village, but rather wait for Lawrence to come home. But the circumstances of that night changed things.
It wasn't meant to be a slag, just as a writer (though I've been sort of benched) when I read something intriguing, my mind is set to ask questions.
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Old 05-03-2008, 10:09 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally posted by GraceRyan


It wasn't meant to be a slag, just as a writer (though I've been sort of benched) when I read something intriguing, my mind is set to ask questions.
No appologies necessary!!!! I'm just glad people are reading this and I really do appreciate everyone taking the time to post any comment!
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