A Day In The Life Of The Edge: The Synopsis

[BonosSaint]

DAY IN THE LIFE OF THE EDGE: THE SYNOPSIS


4:47 AM

AWAKES TO INTERNAL TIME CLOCK
DRINKS GLASS OF WARM WATER
DOES OBSCURE FAR EASTERN MOVEMENT EXERCISE
WHILE COMMUNING WITH HIS INNER WARRIOR

5:30 AM

EATS OAT BRAN AND SOY MILK

6:00 AM

TAKES APART PLASMA TELEVISION IN LIVING ROOM,
STUDIES THEN REBUILDS MORE EFFICIENTLY. TAKES
EXCESS PARTS AND BUILDS NEW STEREO SYSTEM.

6:42 AM

IGNORES URGENT MESSAGE FROM BONO ON CELL
PHONE (KNOWS BONO'S MESSAGES ARE ALWAYS
URGENT)

7:00 AM

SPEEDREADS 14 NEWSPAPERS

7:10 AM

MORNING CONSTITUIONAL WHILE MAKING MENTAL
NOTES ON BETTER USE OF URBAN SPACE IN CITY.

8:00 AM

EMAILS SUGGESTIONS TO MUNICIPAL BOARD REGARDING
BETTER USE OF URBAN SPACE. WRITES MORNING
EDITION OF HIS DAILY ANONYMOUS BLOG "WHY I
HATE BONO."

10:00 AM

CALMS HIMSELF DOWN FROM RAGING FRENZY
OF ABOVE BLOG WITH A CUP OF TEA.

11:00 AM

BUILDS NEW GUITAR, INVENTS NEW GUITAR
TECHNOLOGY. (MAKES MENTAL NOTE TO EXPLAIN
IT TO BONO IN SIMPLE TO UNDERSTAND TERMS.
DECIDES BONO STILL WON'T UNDERSTAND IT.)

12:00 NOON

LUNCH. VISUALIZATION AND MEDITATION. SOLVES
INTERNATIONAL ECONOMIC PROBLEM THAT HAS
BEEN TROUBLING HIM.

1:00 PM

TAKES NAP

1:03 PM

GOES TO STUDIO FOR PRACTICE SESSION

4:19 PM

STILL WAITING FOR BONO TO SHOW UP FOR
PRACTICE. (WITH LAPTOP, ADDS NEW ENTRY TO BLOG)

7:00 PM

RECORDS HIS GUITAR AND VOCAL TRACKS.
ERASES ALL BONO'S VOCAL TRACKS.

8:00 PM

WATCHES NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC SPECIAL

9:00 PM

EATS DINNER. IGNORES BONO'S MESSAGE ON
CELLPHONE.

1100 PM

DISCOVERS NEW PLANET.

12:00 MIDNIGHT

NAMES NEW PLANET "BONO'S ANUS".

2:00 AM

SLEEPS

 

[FungusAmongus]

LMAO!!!!!!! CLASSIC!!!

definitely very Edge-esque! i can actually pictures these things happening, too.

 

[AtomicBono]

oh my god this is priceless. Poor Bono

I like how he takes a three minute nap

you should do this for the other band members...

 

[youtooellen]

brilliant

NAMES NEW PLANET "BONO'S ANUS".

hilarious, like AtomicBono suggested, you should do this for all the other band members

 

[rockbaby]

BRILLIANT. Just brilliant.

 

[Targon1991]

THAT was awesome!

 

[bonoishot]

fecking classic

agrees with everyone else, do one for the others

 

[an_cat]

Oh my god *wipes away tear* That was brilliant!

I hope the documentary is just like this! Although, I don't know if Bono would be going along with it

Definately do some for the others, that'd be hysterical!!

 

[MrsSpringsteen]

I love this, you are brilliant


"WRITES MORNING
EDITION OF HIS DAILY ANONYMOUS BLOG "WHY I
HATE BONO."

I like the planet too, God this is great stuff

Yes, I would love to read one for all the others

 

[hay]

IGNORES URGENT MESSAGE FROM BONO ON CELL
PHONE
(KNOWS BONO'S MESSAGES ARE ALWAYS
URGENT) <<< !!
I love that!
Yeah I would definately read them for the others

 

[BonosSaint]

Thank you. That was fun to write.

 

[youvedonewhat]

Hillarious!

Easy to read and straight to the point! Classic!

 

[Thora]

Hilarious! I agree with everyone else - I would love to see one on the other band members!

 

[SimplyConfused]

More! More!

 

[Crimson_Nails]

This is BRILLIANT! I can see it all!

Please! Please! Please! PRETTY PLEASE! Do one for Larry!!!! That would be hilarious!

 

[hay]

^ Hell Yes!!

 

[Not_Worthy_Edge]

Pure classic edge lol would like too see wat Adam gets up too though

 

[labell]

larrys would be like

"7am. WAKES UP.

705 TAKES SHOWER

710 PUTS IN HAIR GEL

810 PUTS IN MORE HAIR GEL

910 PUTS IN MORE HAIR GEL

1010 CONTEMPLATES CUTTING HAIR BUT THEN PUTS IN MORE HAIR GEL."

etc etc

 

[aislinn]

Excellent!

 

[RavenBlue]

I really liked this, had me smiling