hey guys! need help please!

[Galeongirl]

Have you asked WHY they keep saying no? How about trying to see it from their point for a change? Ask them why they don't like it and then try to understand their point. From that moment it's easier to argue the point with them and explain them that while you understand it you don't agree with it. Try to convince them with good arguments rather than running away.

 

[Marien]

Why have you asked them for permission in the first place? Are you asking for money as well? I mean, you're 22, right? so you don't need permission, you just have to tell them you're not going to be home, so they don't get frightened.

Now you have asked and been denied, well your next chat should be making them understand you aren't asking for permission, you're just telling them, if you don't do it at 22, be prepared to be at their orders for ever.

I know it's hard, at 21 I told my parents I was going to live in London for a while, they told me not to, they cried, but I went and a month later they were visiting me in London, now my mum says the best thing I did in my life was going to London, it really changed my life.

 

[Marien]

Lynn, I've been reading your posts again and I have a question: are you really 22? because if you are, I don't understand your sentence about being put under guardianship.

If you are underage we are talking about a very different question and you know it, if that is the case you must follow your parents orders, so you can only try to convince them.

 

[Lynn1988]

yes, i'm 22. guardianship, because they would control my bank account, because they say that i only buy "U2's bullshit" as they call it. but they're wrong, the last thing i bought was the rosebowl dvd, since, then, nothing. everything i buy is university books!

 

[Lynn1988]

Why have you asked them for permission in the first place? Are you asking for money as well? I mean, you're 22, right? so you don't need permission, you just have to tell them you're not going to be home, so they don't get frightened.

Now you have asked and been denied, well your next chat should be making them understand you aren't asking for permission, you're just telling them, if you don't do it at 22, be prepared to be at their orders for ever.

I know it's hard, at 21 I told my parents I was going to live in London for a while, they told me not to, they cried, but I went and a month later they were visiting me in London, now my mum says the best thing I did in my life was going to London, it really changed my life.

i can do it! but guess what they say?
(very angry) you can go, but we know that you won't stay a week, you'll ask to be back home!
looks like they don't trust me!
but i think they're afraid of me, going alone!
they don't want me to go to see them in paris, because:
-I have no driving licence (does everybody has to have a driving licence by this age?)
-I don't have a job (i think i'm not the only one not having a job at 22)
-I saw them once! this should be enough! (I don't go to cHurch that much let me go to this mass! lol)
BUT (cause there is a but)
my sister has to go to London for 3 days. and she asked me. so i talked about it with my parents, and they said the three magical letters i would have loved to hear for 09/18! Y E S
so i learned that they afraid of me doing things alone! because for them everybody might kill me, rape me, or anything else!
come on, guys! they're not jack the reaper, are they?
Pffff, this pisses me off, really!

 

[Marien]

I'm sorry if I have upset you with my question, but it is so easy to doubt on the net, last thing I want to do is to advise an underage to leave her home, hope you understand me.

I still don't think they can really control your bank account, but of course they can stop giving you money, that's why I also asked if you depend on them for your living, as that seems to be the case, I think you have to weight up the advantages and disadvantages of your actions, you are entitled to take your own decision, but try to consider if they are serious about cutting out money, and how much angry they would get.

Do you think money is the main problem? because you can offer to save a part of your future money (I mean next months) to pay the expenses of this trip.

One last question: do they know the friends you want to travel with? if they don't, maybe it is a good idea to introduce them at home, if they do, just think if there is a remote possibility that your parents are right not trusting in them (yes, I know how this sounds, but sometimes we know things we don't want to know and I'm talking by experience) .

I never advise to lie, I think it is always the worst solution, still if you decide to go and not telling them, please tell someone where you are and who you are with, keep in contact with your family and be careful. I wish you the best.

 

[Lynn1988]

i might be going to paris!
yes, my parents know indeed the person i'll be with!
and, no, you didn't upset me!
of course i'll phone them, and leave my phone available.

i'll have my friend to negociate for me going on friday and be back early on sunday.
as i live not far from paris.
but hope that my parents will agree, if not, my friend will still take me to the stade de france with her.

 

[Galeongirl]

Control your bank account? You're 22 for god's sake! You're in charge of your own stuff now, they can't do shit to you if you don't let them!

Glad to hear you're going to Paris anyway.

 

[secretly alone]

i might be going to paris!
yes, my parents know indeed the person i'll be with!
and, no, you didn't upset me!
of course i'll phone them, and leave my phone available.

i'll have my friend to negociate for me going on friday and be back early on sunday.
as i live not far from paris.
but hope that my parents will agree, if not, my friend will still take me to the stade de france with her.

 

[Pamelakellett]

Woohoo. Does that mean you`ll be able to meet me at the eurostar station on friday afternoon............and help me get a metro ticket for the next day?

Hope to meet you soon.

 

[Marien]

i might be going to paris!
yes, my parents know indeed the person i'll be with!
and, no, you didn't upset me!
of course i'll phone them, and leave my phone available.

i'll have my friend to negociate for me going on friday and be back early on sunday.
as i live not far from paris.
but hope that my parents will agree, if not, my friend will still take me to the stade de france with her.

Glad to hear that, see you in Paris then!

 

[Lynn1988]

@ Pam, I don't know. cause i don't know when my friend will arrive, and how we'll go the stade de France
but, after, she takes me with her fir 2-3 months, to get a job (distributing flyers in mailboxes, or harvesting) then, i'll be able to go to UK, i'll go to York. hope you can visit me!

 

[Galeongirl]

Woohoo. Does that mean you`ll be able to meet me at the eurostar station on friday afternoon............and help me get a metro ticket for the next day?

Hope to meet you soon.

Metro tickets isn't that hard. Just go to the machine and get a ticket for the RER to Stade de France. Otherwise go to the office and ask for one, most of their employees speak English.

 

[Lynn1988]

if so pam, you have my number
but take rer b, it's better than d, closer, both pass by gare du nord

 

[Pamelakellett]

Thanks. Hopefully will bump into you in Paris - you know where I am staying and have my number - you can always text me when we are queuing! Not long now.......arghh!!!!!

Of course I hope we meet up when you come over to the UK!

 

[Lynn1988]

don't worry! I will!
don't know, but i'll come i love UK

 

[Lynn1988]

the show is over!
due to some problems, couldn't go! :'(
can someone close this thread?
thank you!