Mr. The Edge was slumbering away in his comfy bed, having some very interesting dreams about donkeys, when he suddenly remembered something. "What time is it?" he fretted.
"Oh no!!!" he lamented. "It's already jayesbaby's birthday and I haven't gotten her a gift!"
He immediately rang a florist, to order jayesbaby several bazillion roses.
"What do you mean Adam ordered all the roses in town? What the hell kind of new tea is he trying now?" Edge asked, annoyed.
Of course that wasn't enough to stop the great and mighty Edge. "I'll just get some paper and supplies and make her a lovely card," he thought as he called the art supply store to find some paints.
"What the??? How can Larry have ALL the paint in town? Even Loew's and Home Depot? Ace Hardware? The art rooms of ALL the day cares, even the church ones?" Edge sighed. "Greedy little git," he muttered. "Must be doing some kind of home renovation."
But Edge had yet another brilliant idea. "I'll have a star named for her!" He called NASA and had them name the star. He went outside to take a look at it, patting himself on the back for being so brilliant.
"What in the galaxy?! They didn't spell it right! She'll never know that's her star! Where did they get jay-zsbabes from anyway?! ARGH, what a two neutron stars in a binary collision sort of mess this is!"
Edge was quite disgruntled now. He grabbed a cup of Chai and pondered...
He checked out some catalogs, but it was really too late to order anything. He was feeling sadder by the moment.
"What you need to do, David Evans," he scolded himself as his mother had scoled him as a child...
"...what you need to do is pull yourself up by your Converse straps and get your lithe arse out there and do some shopping!"
And so he did.
"Oh no!!!" he lamented. "It's already jayesbaby's birthday and I haven't gotten her a gift!"
He immediately rang a florist, to order jayesbaby several bazillion roses.
"What do you mean Adam ordered all the roses in town? What the hell kind of new tea is he trying now?" Edge asked, annoyed.
Of course that wasn't enough to stop the great and mighty Edge. "I'll just get some paper and supplies and make her a lovely card," he thought as he called the art supply store to find some paints.
"What the??? How can Larry have ALL the paint in town? Even Loew's and Home Depot? Ace Hardware? The art rooms of ALL the day cares, even the church ones?" Edge sighed. "Greedy little git," he muttered. "Must be doing some kind of home renovation."
But Edge had yet another brilliant idea. "I'll have a star named for her!" He called NASA and had them name the star. He went outside to take a look at it, patting himself on the back for being so brilliant.
"What in the galaxy?! They didn't spell it right! She'll never know that's her star! Where did they get jay-zsbabes from anyway?! ARGH, what a two neutron stars in a binary collision sort of mess this is!"
Edge was quite disgruntled now. He grabbed a cup of Chai and pondered...
He checked out some catalogs, but it was really too late to order anything. He was feeling sadder by the moment.
"What you need to do, David Evans," he scolded himself as his mother had scoled him as a child...
"...what you need to do is pull yourself up by your Converse straps and get your lithe arse out there and do some shopping!"
And so he did.
Birthday greeting EVER!! THANK YOU, mots!!
and I kept getting distracted, else it would have been up this morning. 
..let me see..I think I have here a couple of your favourite things...
Can i haz one too pleze Mr. Edge??? 
I LOVE it!! It's been a beautiful day (couldn't resist 
) and I thank you for sharing it!
what clever little minxes you are! 
