Difficult family times

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Moonlit_Angel

Moonlit_Angel

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Sad news to report-my dad passed away last week. He'd been sick for some time-the better part of a year-with kidney and heart problems, and had spent a couple months in the hospital late last year through early this year. We thought he was on the upswing, he seemed to be doing a little better-not overly great, but better than before-but last week he took a turn for the worse and didn't make it. It's a really surreal, weird time right now-I can't believe he's gone and I hate how his final hours were, he did not deserve what he got. He wasn't very old, either, and it just...I feel angry and sad and freaked out. My family's always been very close, which has been a blessing as it seems the last couple years have just been in general really crappy for us on all sorts of levels, and this clinched the whole sucky situation. We're still close, always will be, but now there's this void and I hate it. It always seems we start taking one step forward and then there's two massive steps back, and it's frustrating. It's really shaken me up, I don't know what'll happen next, and that scares me. The only thing that really comforts me is knowing other people are going through this right now in other places, too, weird as that sounds, but hopefully it makes sense. Doesn't make it any less mind-numbing, though.

Just needed to vent a bit. Thanks for listening, anyone who may read this.

Angela
 
:hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

I'm sorry about your dad. I'm going through something similar right now. I'll send some prayers your way for you and your family.
 
My thoughts are with you :hug::hug: I hope everything gets better, over time.
 
I'm so sorry to hear this, Angela. Hang in there--cry when you need to, as much as you need to--lie on the floor and wail and kick your heels--do whatever it takes. It will slowly get better. Here's something that helped me when my Mom passed: Grief doesn't last forever--love does. :hug:
 
Angela, I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. :hug::hug::hug:
 
MsPurrl said:
I'm so sorry to hear this, Angela. Hang in there--cry when you need to, as much as you need to--lie on the floor and wail and kick your heels--do whatever it takes.
Click to expand...

Heh, I actually have had moments where I've felt like kicking or punching something. Haven't done it, but I'll keep it in mind if I need to do so :).

Writing's my favorite means of getting stuff off my chest. I'll likely be doing lots of that in the coming days.

MsPurrl said:
It will slowly get better. Here's something that helped me when my Mom passed: Grief doesn't last forever--love does. :hug:
Click to expand...

That's beautiful, and so true. Thank you for that (and I'm sorry about your mom :hug: ).

I feel a bit lighter today. We had the service this morning, and it was beautiful, and upbeat (as my dad would've liked-he wasn't one for wallowing in misery), and so many people showed up. It was really comforting to see how much he meant to so many people and how many people cared. And, amazingly, I was more composed throughout than I thought I'd be, which made me happy. We ended the service with "Kite" (that did get some waterworks going. Oh, U2, you have such a knack for perfectly expressing a universal feeling...) :). I just feel like there's some peace returning. Slowly, but it's coming back. So I have no doubt it will get better.

Once again, everybody, thank you for your comments :hug:. I truly appreciate it. It's really nice to talk to you guys, say hi to old friends and meet future ones.

Angela
 
:ohmy:

:hug::hug::hug::hug:

ahh jeeezzz....... sorry,
a lot of death in my family and friends circles in the past few years-- some to be expected b/of age (mid + 80's) and not so good health physically and mentally -wise conditions BUT OTHERS ..... early mid-50's very early 60's!:huh: WTF!!! :sad:

Ms Purl is very right....

..... find safe place for yourself to cry when you need to (a bathroom if you're at work, in your pillow at home, play loud u2 ( and other ) music with either the melodies /or words describe what ever you are feeling and sing OUT LOUD!

Good that you have writing to help you!

NOW THIS IS VEWRY IMPORTANT TO UNDERSTAND.......
ALL THESE EMOTIONS ARE NORMAL for WHAT you've gone/going through!


I know intellecturally because 1]
Us in NYC after 98-11 read a lot, and got a bunch of pamphlets on the processes of Shock and Grief......... we unfortunately learned THAT way as well NO, I did NOT lose anybody (a lot of luck that day for closer people i knew down there/ near misses of various sorts).

2]
I lost my mom ( age and sudden unknowable at first problem)... almost 2 yrs ago myself.
Because I had one of 2 roommates that was vicious, I could not properly grieve that way that would of been best for me (a lot of wailing) I'm still caught in it more than I might have been. oh...well.......


SO do as much for yourself as you can, while being there for your family.

You can know a lot intellectually and it does help to a point........

So Yes......
it IS unbelievably surreal (esp thinking he was doing better), and a lot of various emotions and thoughts ill come up and go and return or stay etc ! :(:hug::hug::hug:
 
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