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Old 01-04-2010, 01:50 AM   #1
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The Bass Player's Wife - Chapter 6.5

More of the beach house.

Disclaimer: All vonny bull-cal. You'd have to be one gloopy malchick to think this was true.


I'd like to clarify one thing. Adam may have thought it was me acting batshit insane and clingy that night at the beach house, but it was my conniving twin sister, Selina. We're not perfectly identical, we're mirror twins, meaning I have a birthmark on my right shoulder, hers is on her left, I'm left-handed, she's right-handed, that sort of thing. When I went to pick up Aurora after the show Friday night at her apartment and found they weren't home, I didn't have to guess what had happened to them. Selina had called Adam and she was at the beach with Larry and Lila and my daughter. Selina has been jealous of me ever since she found out I started dating Adam. She's had a crush on him from before I even knew who he was. My sister is nuts. That said, she kidnapped my two-week-old daughter and stole my identity.

I went to the beach house and saw an orange tabby cat stalking around outside the front door. Selina. How does my sister turn herself into a cat? That has to do with our family. My great-grandparents (all 8 of them), my grandparents, and my parents all have an identical twin. My brothers are identical twins, too. And we things. It's kind of like the TV show Bewitched and we're all Samantha Stephens. Except that I never use my powers. They think I'm insane, but I'd really rather be normal. It was bad enough that it was an open secret that my family was involved in the Irish mob, but come Halloween and my mom, grandmother, and sister took vacations to Salem and scared the spit out of the tourists. I went with them at first, but you sneeze once at school and your hair turns blue and the kids tend to label you a freak. So I stopped practicing altogether, except in extreme situations.

Back to the beach house.

I hide behind a tree and turn myself into a great, scary dog. Selina parks herself on the porch and stares at the door. I cross the lawn and bark at her. She turns and hisses at me. I take a step toward her and she runs. I turn back into myself and freeze her. I walk down the beach and pick up the stiff cat.

"Selina, I could vaporize you right now, and I have every reason to. But I won't. Go away, and I never want to see you around the band or my daughter ever again." I let her go and she sits down on the ground and stares at me. I shoot red sparks from my finger at her and she runs off, yowling.

I see Lila jogging up the beach and wonder if she saw me, then decide I don't care. Larry's going to leave her at summer's end anyway. After she and Larry go in the house, I go upstairs and slip into Adam's bedroom. He's passed out on the bed and Aurora is awake and cooing. I pick her up. "Hello, baby. Did you miss me?" I sit on the bed with her and accidentally wake Adam.

He mumbles, "Daddy's gonna pay for your crashed car," sits up and looks at me. He sighs and lays back down. He mumbles again, "Eat to get slimmer."

"Daddy's dreaming about Zooropa," I say and smile at her. "Let's change you and go have some breakfast, hmm?"

When I go downstairs, Lila is making breakfast, Larry's pretending to read the newspaper and Bono and Edge are still asleep.

"I thought you left," Larry says, lowering the paper to glare at me.

"That was my sister," I reply in Gaelic.

"Goddamn it, you know I barely get Irish," he groans and sets the paper down.

"I know," I say. "I like driving you nuts, since you have to know everything." I grin at him before ducking my head into the fridge to get one of Rory's bottles. I sit down next to him and start feeding Aurora. The baby looks up at Larry, but since she doesn't recognize him, she focuses on me instead.

"She's kind of cute," Larry looks down at her. "She's got Adam's looks. That's good."

I shove him and he starts laughing. "Do you really want to piss me off, little boy?" He opens his mouth to argue. "I am older and taller than you. Don't even try."

He gives me his signature glare, except that he's smiling. "So what was with you last night?"

"That was my twin sister Selina causing trouble again. I swear, she will stop at nothing until she gets to fuck one of you," I put Aurora on my shoulder to burp her. Larry rolls his eyes. I look over at Lila, who's obviously a little uncomfortable with this conversation.

"Don't mess with her," Larry mutters to me in Irish the moment I decide to.

"I thought you didn't speak Irish," I reply under my breath, also in Irish.

"Whatever. Lucy, don't mess with her, okay?"

I nod, my fun ruined for the moment. As soon as coffee brews, the rest of the boys are roused from bed. Breakfast is full of chatter and laughter and teasing, burping, farting, drumming, and singing. After I helped Lila clean up while Adam played with Rory, I put her down for a nap and Adam and I lay in bed together and talked.

"So that was Selina, was it?" he says without me saying anything.

"Yeah. Thanks for...whatever you did. I chased her off for good this morning," I sigh. "She's awful."

"She is that," he kisses me. "But I guess we should talk, you know? About what we're going to do."

"If you want to, sure. And Adam, I just want you to know, I'm not expecting a marriage or even an engagment, just because we have Rory."

"Oh," Adam says, clearly not expecting that. "Well, I thought I should make an honest woman of you, anyway." He gets up to get something out of his bag. "I was waiting for the right, romantic moment, but this is as good as any. Mary Analucia McManus, will you marry me?" He holds out an open ring box, with one of the biggest diamonds I've ever seen.

"Adam!" I gasp. "My God! How many gigs will you have to play to pay for this? I can't accept this. It's too much."

"Oh," he looks at it sideways. "I guess I could get you a smaller one."

"I don't need the ring or the piece of paper or any of the traditional bullshit society heaps on couples. Can't we together, without all that other stuff?" I kiss him.

"I can go for that," Adam nods and smiles.

"There. Sorted." I hear Bono and Edge arguing and guitars being strummed. "Must be brainstorming. Race you downstairs."

And Adam spent the next 30 seconds doing what he would for the next 12 years until our divorce, trying to keep up with me.


The next chapter will be the last, but it'll be worth the wait, I promise.

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Old 01-04-2010, 09:59 AM   #2
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Love it. Hurry up with the last chapter

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Old 01-12-2010, 02:06 AM   #3
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The Final Chapter will be posted by the end of this week.
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Old 01-13-2010, 12:20 AM   #4
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Just finally got around to reading this; sorry, Reg
Going all Harry Potter with Lila & her twin kind of threw
me for a loop. I'm excited to see how this all ends up.
You worked Tré back in to the finale?
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Old 01-14-2010, 06:03 PM   #5
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i like it.
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