secretly alone
Rock n' Roll Doggie FOB
Second-to-last chapter! 
~As you are already well aware...this. is. FICTION.~
I was nervous to return home after storming out. Especially after what had happened. Nothing else was said about it that night, though. The next day was for my family to meet my new family.
The phone rang at about 10:30 AM, nearly a half an hour after I expected them to be there.
"Hello?"
It was Larry on the other end. He sounded uneasy, and I heard traffic in the background.
"Hi Lilly, listen, I don't think we're in the right place..."
"It sure doesn't sound like you are. Where are you?"
"Ehh, we got off at Clark Street- I see a sign that says 'BQE South'..."
I slapped my palm to my forehead.
"Ohh no, you went way too far!"
"Well you told us to take the train downtown!"
I laughed.
"Yeah, well, you went so far downtown that you ended up in Brooklyn!"
I heard a mortified screech, as if I'd told him he was in an enemy war zone. He was talking to the others. "She says we went too far, and we're in Brooklyn now!"
"Listen, listen, Larry- it's not that big of a deal. Just get back on...going Uptown this time, and get off at the Lower East Side Second Avenue stop. Call me from the payphone when you get there, and I'll tell you where to walk"
Hesitantly, he hung up.
My mom was sitting at the kitchen table. "What happened?" "Ha-ha, they're in Brooklyn! He sounded like he was about to wet himself." Bono snickered. "If Larry wet himself, it would make my day. I still haven't forgiven him for smacking me after I ate his little cheese sandwiches." Roaring with laughter, I ruffled his hair. I felt awkward kissing him in front of my mother, especially after yesterday. Pretending it hadn't happened wasn't making anything less awkward, either.
When Larry (dry), Edge, and Adam finally found their way to the house, there was a commotion. They accused me of not giving them good enough directions, and Larry, ever the drama queen, told me that he was "glad I didn't get mugged, or shot, on the way over here!" "EVERYONE! Please, shut up. Guys, this is my mom Anne. Mom, this is...Edge...Adam...Larry. All partially insane in their own way, but my loveable brothers just the same. Speaking of which, where's-" "He's in the shower," my mom interrupted. She hugged each of them, looking a little overwhelmed but highly amused. Bono and I stood politely to the side, watching. "I don't think your brother is happy about all this, Lilly." I raised my eyebrow. "What? That's ridiculous...I was sure he would think you were so cool." He chuckled and shrugged. "I dunno, I just got the vibe that he was overwhelmed and irritated, and now they're here..." "Well, if he is, than he can just be a brat and sulk. Not always about him. See, you don't have a little sibling. That's how you deal with them...ignore them when they're being bratty, and they stop."
"So, where are we going?" Adam was unfazed by getting slightly lost and looked like I could tell him anything and he'd be up for it. "We're going to drive out to Long Island and go to the beach." "Jones Beach?" I looked at him with shock. "How on earth did you know about Jones Beach?" He shrugged. "I read...magazines, anyway. I've heard it's a popular beach escape for the cityfolk." I laughed. "Well, I was considering going out to Fire Island...it's lovely and quiet. Jones Beach gets a little crowded. But you guys see empty beaches at home all the time, and the LIE is a bitch on a Saturday. So yeah, we'll go to Jones."
We all piled into my mom's car, and she drove. Killian sat in the passenger seat, looking sullen. Perhaps Bono was right. "Edge, get out! I want to sit next to him!" "Yeah Edge," Bono teased, pushing him out of the seat. "She wants to sit next to meeee!" He stomped out, practically pushed me in, and sat down on my other side. "You guys are such babies," he laughed. Bono was wearing a sleeveless white shirt with red trim and a pair of worn out denim shorts. He smelled like a Pina Colada. I nuzzled his ear. "I know you didn't put enough sunblock on. And what kind of bathing suit have you got on under there?" I had never seen any bathing suit of his. "Oh, it's...well, it's red and, eh...I guess you'll see." His cheeks went slightly pink.
The drive along Ocean Parkway was lovely. We must have been coming in between "shifts" of beachgoers, because it wasn't backed up at all. Warm wind blew in the window.
Once on the beach, Bono seemed reluctant to take his clothes off, whereas in the car he kept saying he couldn't wait to strip down to his suit and jump in the water. He looked around at the other people on the beach with unease. Surely he coun't be worried about how he looked. Boys never worry about that crap, do they? "Hey, baby, I have to put three quarters of this," I held up the bottle of sunblock, "on you. Come on, clothes off." He pulled off his shirt with ease. I squirted a handful of the lotion into my hands and started rubbing it on his ridiculously white, freckled back. "I suggest you don't leave those shorts on, Bono. They're pretty tight. You're going to end up with the most idiotic looking tanlines." Grimacing, he pulled them off, revealing a tight, red, speedo-shorts sort of swimsuit. I whistled softly. "Stunning. What's wrong?" "Lilly, you didn't tell me that men in America wear these long...swim-pants! I look like an idiot!" I laughed, looking around at the other men on the beach, all wearing swim trunks. "I'm sorry that the swimsuit preferences of Americans never came up in conversation, seeing as it's such an important topic. And you don't look like an idiot at all." He bit his lip. "Sure?" I clasped my arms around him. His body was all slippery from the sun lotion. "Positive. You should be proud of...well...all that. Now let me finish with the lotion, or your skin will match that suit!"
Before running down to the water, I noticed my brother looking at the other four boys with a bit of mortification. They did kind of stick out like sore thumbs, I thought fondly. "You guys go ahead, I'll be down in a sec." They went running down to the ocean, shoving eachother like dorky teenagers. I kneeled down next to Killian. "What's up with you? You look kind of sulky, and Bono said he got the feeling you were in a bad mood that he's here." He made a face. "What's your problem? I thought you guys would be good friends. You're pretty close in age- what's not to love about him?" He chuckled. "I never said I didn't like him. I do. He's a really nice guy. It's just, I dunno, he's kinda irritating, y'know?" I scowled at him. "No. I don't know." Killian sighed. "Of course you don't. He just annoys me a little bit...he never stops talking or moving, and he's kind of all over the place and in everyone's face. Like I said Lil, he's sweet, and I think he's a great guy. Just, well, maybe he should take some kind of hyperactivity pill. Don't you ever get physically tired from being around him 24/7?!" I felt like smoke was coming out of my ears. "You are such a jerk. And yeah, I do sometimes, but I love that. I guess I judged your character all wrong, kid. If you were twelve years old and little and skinny, I would smack you. But I'm pretty sure you can kick my ass now." He laughed and shook his shaggy blonde hair out of his eyes. I wanted to hit him so badly. "Of course I could. Don't get so angry! Sheesh." Killian's tendency to laugh everything off, which had once comforted me, was now pissing me off beyond belief. "I will get angry. When I had to fly home to welcome you back, he was all concerned about you, because I told him the whole story. I didn't really want to come back...but he made me feel so guilty, because he cared about you and he didn't even know you. And now you're just being a complete jerk."
I stomped off to the water like an angry kid. The boys were splashing around in the breaking waves, and I waded my way out. "Hey Lilly-love! This is great...the water never gets anywhere near as warm as this at home." I paddled over to Bono and held onto him tightly. He giggled and squeezed me back. "What's the matter-can't swim?" I nipped at his ear. "No, I just love you a whole lot, that's all. But actually, no, I can't swim very well," I said, laughing. "But I won't drown." Adam suggested we play Chicken, which Larry argued against immediately because I was the only girl. "So?" I said. "You guys can sit on eachother's shoulders! If you want to make it more fair, I'll be on the bottom." Snickers broke out amongst them. I slapped my forehead. "AAHH, I meant Bono can sit on my shoulders." I regretted suggesting it, because light as he was, I still wasn't strong enough to hold him on my shoulders. He wrestled with Edge, who sat on Adam's shoulders. I was completely unstable, and felt like Bono might possibly choke me with his legs. "Damn, it's hard!!" Bono laughed maniacally. "I'm sorry, it just happens sometimes when I'm cold!" I flung him off my shoulders and into the water, and when he resurfaced, sputtering, I smirked. "I meant that it was hard to hold your weight." My hair was still dry, but the evil look on his face must have meant he was planning to change that, because he pounced on me, pushing me into a breaking wave. I had been pummeled by many a wave in my time. I rolled right out of it with ease. "You better watch it, boy. If a wave gets you, the life guard will probably have to save you." We switched spots, and I wrestled with Edge. "You're going down, stick boy," I said playfully. "No, I think you're going to be the one "going down". On Bon, that is." It seemed I was caught in a bad spell of accidental innuendos. "Ok, I'm going to shut up and just win this game." And I did, after a few minutes of pushing and shrieking and Larry shouting back and forth at us. Bono and I high-fived eachother. "I need a snack," he announced.
We trudged out of the water, and I gawked at him. "Baby, your swimsuit is now R-rated." The wet fabric was clinging to him, but he seemed to be over the embarassment of being scantily clad. My brother, on the other hand, seemed only more disturbed by their swim attire. The look on his face was priceless when Bono plopped down in the sand and said, "I'm going to build a sand castle!" He went right to work, and I sneakily flung a handful of wet sand at Killian, who, already annoyed at me, was rolling his eyes. He shot me a dirty look but didn't say anything. Bono was like a five year old boy, scrambling around and gathering sand and moulding it into a very modest looking castle. I assisted him a little, but mostly I just watched with fond fascination.
We stayed on the beach long past sundown, until the sky turned a deep hue of blue. The heat and sea air had worn us all out, and fifteen minutes into the ride back into the city, Bono had fallen asleep with his head on my shoulder. I kissed his salty hair and sleepily twirled bits of it around my finger. At some point, I became aware of my mom watching me in the rearview mirror, a thoughtful expression on her face. Suddenly, Edge's head was on my other shoulder- he was sleeping too. I held back laughter and rested my head on Bono's. We were still driving down Ocean Parkway when I drifted off to sleep.
We left the next afternoon. My mom was all teary, hugging us. "Please promise you'll visit again soon, Lil. And often." I sighed. "I want to, mom. We haven't got a lot of money, but we'll try." She sniffed. "Make sure you call more often." I nodded. She then hugged Bono, holding onto him the way a mother might hold onto a son she was saying goodbye to. "You're such a sweet boy. I'm so glad you came. Take care of her, and make sure she calls!" He chuckled. "I will, Anne. I promise. She's the most important thing in the world to me." He shuffled his feet, and I felt myself blush. My dad hugged us both goodbye (no American-guy hugging this time). Killian hung sheepishly nearby. "Er, it was nice to meat you, future brother-in-law," he said to Bono with a sly grin, hugging him awkwardly. Bono turned bright pink and smiled. Angry as I had been with Killian yesterday, I still hugged him goodbye. "Bye, you little brat. Be good." He gave me an apologetic look, and I figured he was sincere. My mom was wiping up tears. "I better see you two back here soon! No excuses! I know every American tour you boys go on will visit New York at least once." We promised once again to visit soon, and said goodbye.
Out in the hall, Bono hugged me tight. "Are you ok love?" I nodded. "I'm fine. I'm so glad that went well, for the most part. I knew it wouldn't be easy for them, but they love you, Bono. And they know how much I love you." He grinned. "How much is that? A lot?" I pinched him. "Duh. Ah, I just want to go home, Paulie." He kissed me and stroked my cheek. "So do I. And it's finally time."
~As you are already well aware...this. is. FICTION.~
I was nervous to return home after storming out. Especially after what had happened. Nothing else was said about it that night, though. The next day was for my family to meet my new family.
The phone rang at about 10:30 AM, nearly a half an hour after I expected them to be there.
"Hello?"
It was Larry on the other end. He sounded uneasy, and I heard traffic in the background.
"Hi Lilly, listen, I don't think we're in the right place..."
"It sure doesn't sound like you are. Where are you?"
"Ehh, we got off at Clark Street- I see a sign that says 'BQE South'..."
I slapped my palm to my forehead.
"Ohh no, you went way too far!"
"Well you told us to take the train downtown!"
I laughed.
"Yeah, well, you went so far downtown that you ended up in Brooklyn!"
I heard a mortified screech, as if I'd told him he was in an enemy war zone. He was talking to the others. "She says we went too far, and we're in Brooklyn now!"
"Listen, listen, Larry- it's not that big of a deal. Just get back on...going Uptown this time, and get off at the Lower East Side Second Avenue stop. Call me from the payphone when you get there, and I'll tell you where to walk"
Hesitantly, he hung up.
My mom was sitting at the kitchen table. "What happened?" "Ha-ha, they're in Brooklyn! He sounded like he was about to wet himself." Bono snickered. "If Larry wet himself, it would make my day. I still haven't forgiven him for smacking me after I ate his little cheese sandwiches." Roaring with laughter, I ruffled his hair. I felt awkward kissing him in front of my mother, especially after yesterday. Pretending it hadn't happened wasn't making anything less awkward, either.
When Larry (dry), Edge, and Adam finally found their way to the house, there was a commotion. They accused me of not giving them good enough directions, and Larry, ever the drama queen, told me that he was "glad I didn't get mugged, or shot, on the way over here!" "EVERYONE! Please, shut up. Guys, this is my mom Anne. Mom, this is...Edge...Adam...Larry. All partially insane in their own way, but my loveable brothers just the same. Speaking of which, where's-" "He's in the shower," my mom interrupted. She hugged each of them, looking a little overwhelmed but highly amused. Bono and I stood politely to the side, watching. "I don't think your brother is happy about all this, Lilly." I raised my eyebrow. "What? That's ridiculous...I was sure he would think you were so cool." He chuckled and shrugged. "I dunno, I just got the vibe that he was overwhelmed and irritated, and now they're here..." "Well, if he is, than he can just be a brat and sulk. Not always about him. See, you don't have a little sibling. That's how you deal with them...ignore them when they're being bratty, and they stop."
"So, where are we going?" Adam was unfazed by getting slightly lost and looked like I could tell him anything and he'd be up for it. "We're going to drive out to Long Island and go to the beach." "Jones Beach?" I looked at him with shock. "How on earth did you know about Jones Beach?" He shrugged. "I read...magazines, anyway. I've heard it's a popular beach escape for the cityfolk." I laughed. "Well, I was considering going out to Fire Island...it's lovely and quiet. Jones Beach gets a little crowded. But you guys see empty beaches at home all the time, and the LIE is a bitch on a Saturday. So yeah, we'll go to Jones."
We all piled into my mom's car, and she drove. Killian sat in the passenger seat, looking sullen. Perhaps Bono was right. "Edge, get out! I want to sit next to him!" "Yeah Edge," Bono teased, pushing him out of the seat. "She wants to sit next to meeee!" He stomped out, practically pushed me in, and sat down on my other side. "You guys are such babies," he laughed. Bono was wearing a sleeveless white shirt with red trim and a pair of worn out denim shorts. He smelled like a Pina Colada. I nuzzled his ear. "I know you didn't put enough sunblock on. And what kind of bathing suit have you got on under there?" I had never seen any bathing suit of his. "Oh, it's...well, it's red and, eh...I guess you'll see." His cheeks went slightly pink.
The drive along Ocean Parkway was lovely. We must have been coming in between "shifts" of beachgoers, because it wasn't backed up at all. Warm wind blew in the window.
Once on the beach, Bono seemed reluctant to take his clothes off, whereas in the car he kept saying he couldn't wait to strip down to his suit and jump in the water. He looked around at the other people on the beach with unease. Surely he coun't be worried about how he looked. Boys never worry about that crap, do they? "Hey, baby, I have to put three quarters of this," I held up the bottle of sunblock, "on you. Come on, clothes off." He pulled off his shirt with ease. I squirted a handful of the lotion into my hands and started rubbing it on his ridiculously white, freckled back. "I suggest you don't leave those shorts on, Bono. They're pretty tight. You're going to end up with the most idiotic looking tanlines." Grimacing, he pulled them off, revealing a tight, red, speedo-shorts sort of swimsuit. I whistled softly. "Stunning. What's wrong?" "Lilly, you didn't tell me that men in America wear these long...swim-pants! I look like an idiot!" I laughed, looking around at the other men on the beach, all wearing swim trunks. "I'm sorry that the swimsuit preferences of Americans never came up in conversation, seeing as it's such an important topic. And you don't look like an idiot at all." He bit his lip. "Sure?" I clasped my arms around him. His body was all slippery from the sun lotion. "Positive. You should be proud of...well...all that. Now let me finish with the lotion, or your skin will match that suit!"
Before running down to the water, I noticed my brother looking at the other four boys with a bit of mortification. They did kind of stick out like sore thumbs, I thought fondly. "You guys go ahead, I'll be down in a sec." They went running down to the ocean, shoving eachother like dorky teenagers. I kneeled down next to Killian. "What's up with you? You look kind of sulky, and Bono said he got the feeling you were in a bad mood that he's here." He made a face. "What's your problem? I thought you guys would be good friends. You're pretty close in age- what's not to love about him?" He chuckled. "I never said I didn't like him. I do. He's a really nice guy. It's just, I dunno, he's kinda irritating, y'know?" I scowled at him. "No. I don't know." Killian sighed. "Of course you don't. He just annoys me a little bit...he never stops talking or moving, and he's kind of all over the place and in everyone's face. Like I said Lil, he's sweet, and I think he's a great guy. Just, well, maybe he should take some kind of hyperactivity pill. Don't you ever get physically tired from being around him 24/7?!" I felt like smoke was coming out of my ears. "You are such a jerk. And yeah, I do sometimes, but I love that. I guess I judged your character all wrong, kid. If you were twelve years old and little and skinny, I would smack you. But I'm pretty sure you can kick my ass now." He laughed and shook his shaggy blonde hair out of his eyes. I wanted to hit him so badly. "Of course I could. Don't get so angry! Sheesh." Killian's tendency to laugh everything off, which had once comforted me, was now pissing me off beyond belief. "I will get angry. When I had to fly home to welcome you back, he was all concerned about you, because I told him the whole story. I didn't really want to come back...but he made me feel so guilty, because he cared about you and he didn't even know you. And now you're just being a complete jerk."
I stomped off to the water like an angry kid. The boys were splashing around in the breaking waves, and I waded my way out. "Hey Lilly-love! This is great...the water never gets anywhere near as warm as this at home." I paddled over to Bono and held onto him tightly. He giggled and squeezed me back. "What's the matter-can't swim?" I nipped at his ear. "No, I just love you a whole lot, that's all. But actually, no, I can't swim very well," I said, laughing. "But I won't drown." Adam suggested we play Chicken, which Larry argued against immediately because I was the only girl. "So?" I said. "You guys can sit on eachother's shoulders! If you want to make it more fair, I'll be on the bottom." Snickers broke out amongst them. I slapped my forehead. "AAHH, I meant Bono can sit on my shoulders." I regretted suggesting it, because light as he was, I still wasn't strong enough to hold him on my shoulders. He wrestled with Edge, who sat on Adam's shoulders. I was completely unstable, and felt like Bono might possibly choke me with his legs. "Damn, it's hard!!" Bono laughed maniacally. "I'm sorry, it just happens sometimes when I'm cold!" I flung him off my shoulders and into the water, and when he resurfaced, sputtering, I smirked. "I meant that it was hard to hold your weight." My hair was still dry, but the evil look on his face must have meant he was planning to change that, because he pounced on me, pushing me into a breaking wave. I had been pummeled by many a wave in my time. I rolled right out of it with ease. "You better watch it, boy. If a wave gets you, the life guard will probably have to save you." We switched spots, and I wrestled with Edge. "You're going down, stick boy," I said playfully. "No, I think you're going to be the one "going down". On Bon, that is." It seemed I was caught in a bad spell of accidental innuendos. "Ok, I'm going to shut up and just win this game." And I did, after a few minutes of pushing and shrieking and Larry shouting back and forth at us. Bono and I high-fived eachother. "I need a snack," he announced.
We trudged out of the water, and I gawked at him. "Baby, your swimsuit is now R-rated." The wet fabric was clinging to him, but he seemed to be over the embarassment of being scantily clad. My brother, on the other hand, seemed only more disturbed by their swim attire. The look on his face was priceless when Bono plopped down in the sand and said, "I'm going to build a sand castle!" He went right to work, and I sneakily flung a handful of wet sand at Killian, who, already annoyed at me, was rolling his eyes. He shot me a dirty look but didn't say anything. Bono was like a five year old boy, scrambling around and gathering sand and moulding it into a very modest looking castle. I assisted him a little, but mostly I just watched with fond fascination.
We stayed on the beach long past sundown, until the sky turned a deep hue of blue. The heat and sea air had worn us all out, and fifteen minutes into the ride back into the city, Bono had fallen asleep with his head on my shoulder. I kissed his salty hair and sleepily twirled bits of it around my finger. At some point, I became aware of my mom watching me in the rearview mirror, a thoughtful expression on her face. Suddenly, Edge's head was on my other shoulder- he was sleeping too. I held back laughter and rested my head on Bono's. We were still driving down Ocean Parkway when I drifted off to sleep.
We left the next afternoon. My mom was all teary, hugging us. "Please promise you'll visit again soon, Lil. And often." I sighed. "I want to, mom. We haven't got a lot of money, but we'll try." She sniffed. "Make sure you call more often." I nodded. She then hugged Bono, holding onto him the way a mother might hold onto a son she was saying goodbye to. "You're such a sweet boy. I'm so glad you came. Take care of her, and make sure she calls!" He chuckled. "I will, Anne. I promise. She's the most important thing in the world to me." He shuffled his feet, and I felt myself blush. My dad hugged us both goodbye (no American-guy hugging this time). Killian hung sheepishly nearby. "Er, it was nice to meat you, future brother-in-law," he said to Bono with a sly grin, hugging him awkwardly. Bono turned bright pink and smiled. Angry as I had been with Killian yesterday, I still hugged him goodbye. "Bye, you little brat. Be good." He gave me an apologetic look, and I figured he was sincere. My mom was wiping up tears. "I better see you two back here soon! No excuses! I know every American tour you boys go on will visit New York at least once." We promised once again to visit soon, and said goodbye.
Out in the hall, Bono hugged me tight. "Are you ok love?" I nodded. "I'm fine. I'm so glad that went well, for the most part. I knew it wouldn't be easy for them, but they love you, Bono. And they know how much I love you." He grinned. "How much is that? A lot?" I pinched him. "Duh. Ah, I just want to go home, Paulie." He kissed me and stroked my cheek. "So do I. And it's finally time."
so cute
this chapter! perfect!
and Im always eagerly awaiting more 
