secretly alone
Rock n' Roll Doggie FOB
Thanks for all the feedback on the last chapter 
~This diclaimer is sleepy. This story is fictional~
I sat in the passenger side of the car outside of Rite Aid, with the hood of my coat up and the collar drawn up to my chin. It wasn't cold...it had even stopped raining over an hour ago. Bono got back into the driver's side and put the little prescription bag in the back seat. "C'mon, Lilly...take the hood down at least. It's hot, and the sun is coming out!" I couldn't see him, since the hood was in the way, but I imagined he was giving me an imploring look. "No." He sighed. "I don't want to say it was your idea-" "Then don't," I replied. "I could have just as easily gone in there for, well, something else." I scowled, even though he couldn't see my face. "Well, you don't even have to worry about that, because my clothes aren't coming off again any time in the forseeable future." He laughed. "Oh yeah? How are you going to shower, then?" Such a child, he was. "I won't." Another exasperated sigh. "Look, love, you would have had to do that even if it weren't for the prescription. All women do. It's a part of taking care of your health." I yanked the hood down. "Well then, mister medical know-it-all, I'm hauling your ass to the doctor so YOU can strip down and have...whatever kind of exam it is that stupid men have to have." It was quiet for a minute, and I immediately felt bad for yelling at him. He had rented a car specifically to take me to the doctor, tried to calm me as much as possible, gone in to pick up the prescription himself...and on top of that, he was right. This route had been my idea. We'd quabbled over it the day before...
I was re-packing a suitcase when Bono said, "Lilly..." in that dreaded I need to talk to you about something voice. "Yes?" I automatically didn't respond warmly as I normally would have. "Come over here. I need to talk to you about something." Yup. And I probably wasn't going to like it either. What it could be, I didn't know. I just knew that tone.
I sat on the bed next to him. "What's wrong?" "Nothing's wrong. But...I know we'd rather forget about it, but you know as well as I do that this scare we just had was a big wakeup call." Even though the "scare" was over, we both still shyed away from the p-word. "What do you mean?" I knew exactly what he meant. He could be an exceptionally responsible person sometimes. "I mean, it made us realize that certain actions can have certain consequences, and that it definitely could happen to us. Simply put...we haven't been careful at all, Lilly. We just do what we want, when we want. We got lucky this time." Damn him and his responsibility. Why did he have to be so right? It made me feel like a schmuck. "I know, you're right. But hey...I was keeping track. I keep that little calendar for a reason!" He nodded. "Yeah, but it was really for you to make sure that nothing had gone wrong, not that nothing did go wrong, right?" Exactly. My lazy tendencies cropped up everywhere. "Yeah. But now I've learned my lesson, and I will use it to make sure that...you know...we're careful." He chuckled somewhat ruefully. "C'mon, Lilly, you know that's not a reliable way to do it." Since when did he become so knowledgeable? Just days ago he seemed to be totally ignorant of basic biology. I guess this was stuff you just learn. I didn't like where the conversation was heading. I'm not the kind of person who enjoys inconveniences or "lifestyle alterations". "So...what are you suggesting here?" I said it slowly and carefully. He shrugged. "Nothing drastic. I mean, we can just learn to use...uhm, I'll go to the store and buy a box of-" "NO. Absolutely not. You will not...I will not!"
He looked taken aback, yet strangely pleased. "Y'know, usually, this discussion happens the other way around!" He elbowed me playfully. "Why not?" He was right, the discussion usually did go the other way, at least in books, movies, and health class. It was just another example of what I loved so much about him. "Be-CAUSE...they're gross. Have you ever seen one? If not...you don't want to. Baby, I associate that with people who are worried about getting diseases from eachother because they don't know who the other person's been with...and I know that association is wrong, but that's the way I feel. You and I are so close and...I dunno, they're just gross and unromantic." I folded my arms, and he laid back on the bed laughing. I snuggled up to him. "I know, I'm horribly immature. Please love me anyway," I said with a smirk. "Lilly, I understand what you're saying. But I don't know what other reliable option there is..." I shrugged. "I'll just take the pill." He looked wary. "I don't think that's a good idea. I don't think being on medication long-term is good for you...and doesn't that put you at high risk for...I can't remember, but it was serious." "Blood clot and stroke-" His eyes popped. I groaned. "Bono, that's only if you smoke. Do I smoke? No. Will I ever smoke? No. It's perfectly safe." He didn't look convinced. "Well, even if we did do that, how will you get a prescription? We're in...where are we again?" I burst out laughing. "Memphis! It doesn't matter...I've been sick and had to go to the doctor away from home. No big deal."
A lot of convincing, Bono asking the general doctor ten times if the medication was safe, and a refferal to a horrifyingly traumatizing visit to the gynecologist later, we were sitting in front of Rite Aid, quabbling again. I unzipped my coat and slipped it off. "I'm sorry, baby. It is, of course, not your fault that I was traumatized by that. You're incredibly patient. Remind me to add that to my list of reasons I love you when we get back. I have the pages crammed into a Trapper Keeper somewhere..." He rolled his eyes and laughed. I leaned over and kissed his cheek, and then his ear. "Oh, and also that you call the drugstore "the chemist". That's adorable."
We returned the car and took the city bus back to the hotel. All the hotels were beginning to blur into one, as well as the cities. It seemed forever since I had slept in a familiar bed...the morning that we had left Bono's house at sunrise seemed like far longer ago than a few months. Back at the hotel, I called my parents from the lobby phone. My mom seemed kind of dejected.
"Lil? I wasn't expecting to hear from you...since we hardly ever do."
"Yeah...well, everything is kind of like a whirlwind. It's not easy to take a time-out."
That was sort of a lie, but it was the only favorable excuse I could come up with. Would she prefer to hear, "I'm having too much fun to worry about calling you?" Or perhaps, "It's been a little rough. I thought I was pregnant, so I didn't want to call you in the middle of that"?
"Well what's going on? Where are you now? What have you been doing?"
"We're in Memphis right now. I'm sick of hotel rooms and rest-stop food, but it's still an absolute blast."
"How's your little boy doing? We got the letter, you said he was sick..."
I squealed inside. She called him my little boy! How affectionate!
"Yeah, we had an argument and he was wandering around in the rain, and then he caught a nasty cold. He's fine now. Cute as ever."
The nearby elevator doors opened, and Bono came through them, carrying one suitcase and dragging another behind him.
"Mom, I gotta go, we're loading the bus."
"What? Lil, you never talk for more than five minutes! How are we supposed to know what's going on-"
"I know, I'm sorry. But I really have to go."
"Well, call when you get to the next hotel, ok?"
"I will. I promise. Bye".
I scurried over to where Bono was slowly lugging the suitcases in the direction of the door. "What's the matter with you, you're going to pull a muscle!" He put both suitcases down and folded his arms. "No I won't. I'm strong!" I took one of them. "I know you are. But I'm still helping you." I felt a little despair at the sight of the bus. All cooped up in eachother's faces with no privacy...I stroked Bono's cheek. He smiled gently and we hugged. I always got the feeling that he knew what I was thinking. I inhaled his sweet scent, and the frustration faded a little. It wasn't like I'd want it any other way. I'd miss all of them terribly if I hadn't come along. The others were loading up their suitcases as well. I let out a small sigh. We were off again early in the morning. Next stop, Dallas.
~This diclaimer is sleepy. This story is fictional~
I sat in the passenger side of the car outside of Rite Aid, with the hood of my coat up and the collar drawn up to my chin. It wasn't cold...it had even stopped raining over an hour ago. Bono got back into the driver's side and put the little prescription bag in the back seat. "C'mon, Lilly...take the hood down at least. It's hot, and the sun is coming out!" I couldn't see him, since the hood was in the way, but I imagined he was giving me an imploring look. "No." He sighed. "I don't want to say it was your idea-" "Then don't," I replied. "I could have just as easily gone in there for, well, something else." I scowled, even though he couldn't see my face. "Well, you don't even have to worry about that, because my clothes aren't coming off again any time in the forseeable future." He laughed. "Oh yeah? How are you going to shower, then?" Such a child, he was. "I won't." Another exasperated sigh. "Look, love, you would have had to do that even if it weren't for the prescription. All women do. It's a part of taking care of your health." I yanked the hood down. "Well then, mister medical know-it-all, I'm hauling your ass to the doctor so YOU can strip down and have...whatever kind of exam it is that stupid men have to have." It was quiet for a minute, and I immediately felt bad for yelling at him. He had rented a car specifically to take me to the doctor, tried to calm me as much as possible, gone in to pick up the prescription himself...and on top of that, he was right. This route had been my idea. We'd quabbled over it the day before...
I was re-packing a suitcase when Bono said, "Lilly..." in that dreaded I need to talk to you about something voice. "Yes?" I automatically didn't respond warmly as I normally would have. "Come over here. I need to talk to you about something." Yup. And I probably wasn't going to like it either. What it could be, I didn't know. I just knew that tone.
I sat on the bed next to him. "What's wrong?" "Nothing's wrong. But...I know we'd rather forget about it, but you know as well as I do that this scare we just had was a big wakeup call." Even though the "scare" was over, we both still shyed away from the p-word. "What do you mean?" I knew exactly what he meant. He could be an exceptionally responsible person sometimes. "I mean, it made us realize that certain actions can have certain consequences, and that it definitely could happen to us. Simply put...we haven't been careful at all, Lilly. We just do what we want, when we want. We got lucky this time." Damn him and his responsibility. Why did he have to be so right? It made me feel like a schmuck. "I know, you're right. But hey...I was keeping track. I keep that little calendar for a reason!" He nodded. "Yeah, but it was really for you to make sure that nothing had gone wrong, not that nothing did go wrong, right?" Exactly. My lazy tendencies cropped up everywhere. "Yeah. But now I've learned my lesson, and I will use it to make sure that...you know...we're careful." He chuckled somewhat ruefully. "C'mon, Lilly, you know that's not a reliable way to do it." Since when did he become so knowledgeable? Just days ago he seemed to be totally ignorant of basic biology. I guess this was stuff you just learn. I didn't like where the conversation was heading. I'm not the kind of person who enjoys inconveniences or "lifestyle alterations". "So...what are you suggesting here?" I said it slowly and carefully. He shrugged. "Nothing drastic. I mean, we can just learn to use...uhm, I'll go to the store and buy a box of-" "NO. Absolutely not. You will not...I will not!"
He looked taken aback, yet strangely pleased. "Y'know, usually, this discussion happens the other way around!" He elbowed me playfully. "Why not?" He was right, the discussion usually did go the other way, at least in books, movies, and health class. It was just another example of what I loved so much about him. "Be-CAUSE...they're gross. Have you ever seen one? If not...you don't want to. Baby, I associate that with people who are worried about getting diseases from eachother because they don't know who the other person's been with...and I know that association is wrong, but that's the way I feel. You and I are so close and...I dunno, they're just gross and unromantic." I folded my arms, and he laid back on the bed laughing. I snuggled up to him. "I know, I'm horribly immature. Please love me anyway," I said with a smirk. "Lilly, I understand what you're saying. But I don't know what other reliable option there is..." I shrugged. "I'll just take the pill." He looked wary. "I don't think that's a good idea. I don't think being on medication long-term is good for you...and doesn't that put you at high risk for...I can't remember, but it was serious." "Blood clot and stroke-" His eyes popped. I groaned. "Bono, that's only if you smoke. Do I smoke? No. Will I ever smoke? No. It's perfectly safe." He didn't look convinced. "Well, even if we did do that, how will you get a prescription? We're in...where are we again?" I burst out laughing. "Memphis! It doesn't matter...I've been sick and had to go to the doctor away from home. No big deal."
A lot of convincing, Bono asking the general doctor ten times if the medication was safe, and a refferal to a horrifyingly traumatizing visit to the gynecologist later, we were sitting in front of Rite Aid, quabbling again. I unzipped my coat and slipped it off. "I'm sorry, baby. It is, of course, not your fault that I was traumatized by that. You're incredibly patient. Remind me to add that to my list of reasons I love you when we get back. I have the pages crammed into a Trapper Keeper somewhere..." He rolled his eyes and laughed. I leaned over and kissed his cheek, and then his ear. "Oh, and also that you call the drugstore "the chemist". That's adorable."
We returned the car and took the city bus back to the hotel. All the hotels were beginning to blur into one, as well as the cities. It seemed forever since I had slept in a familiar bed...the morning that we had left Bono's house at sunrise seemed like far longer ago than a few months. Back at the hotel, I called my parents from the lobby phone. My mom seemed kind of dejected.
"Lil? I wasn't expecting to hear from you...since we hardly ever do."
"Yeah...well, everything is kind of like a whirlwind. It's not easy to take a time-out."
That was sort of a lie, but it was the only favorable excuse I could come up with. Would she prefer to hear, "I'm having too much fun to worry about calling you?" Or perhaps, "It's been a little rough. I thought I was pregnant, so I didn't want to call you in the middle of that"?
"Well what's going on? Where are you now? What have you been doing?"
"We're in Memphis right now. I'm sick of hotel rooms and rest-stop food, but it's still an absolute blast."
"How's your little boy doing? We got the letter, you said he was sick..."
I squealed inside. She called him my little boy! How affectionate!
"Yeah, we had an argument and he was wandering around in the rain, and then he caught a nasty cold. He's fine now. Cute as ever."
The nearby elevator doors opened, and Bono came through them, carrying one suitcase and dragging another behind him.
"Mom, I gotta go, we're loading the bus."
"What? Lil, you never talk for more than five minutes! How are we supposed to know what's going on-"
"I know, I'm sorry. But I really have to go."
"Well, call when you get to the next hotel, ok?"
"I will. I promise. Bye".
I scurried over to where Bono was slowly lugging the suitcases in the direction of the door. "What's the matter with you, you're going to pull a muscle!" He put both suitcases down and folded his arms. "No I won't. I'm strong!" I took one of them. "I know you are. But I'm still helping you." I felt a little despair at the sight of the bus. All cooped up in eachother's faces with no privacy...I stroked Bono's cheek. He smiled gently and we hugged. I always got the feeling that he knew what I was thinking. I inhaled his sweet scent, and the frustration faded a little. It wasn't like I'd want it any other way. I'd miss all of them terribly if I hadn't come along. The others were loading up their suitcases as well. I let out a small sigh. We were off again early in the morning. Next stop, Dallas.
You're on a roll Val 
nice one again!
