GraceRyan
Rock n' Roll Doggie FOB
Okay, it's the one you were waiting for.....
It's all fiction by the way.
**Sorry about the funky formatting. Hope it's not to distracting. It's take me a really long time to get the line breaks in the way I want them because there's so much dialogue.
I'd Die Without You - PM Dawn
PM Dawn (HQ) - I'd Die Without You - YouTube
Is it my turn to wish you were lying here.
I tend to dream you when I'm not sleeping.
Is it my turn to fictionalize my world.
Or even imagine your emotions to tell myself anything...
Is it my turn to hold you by your hands.
Tell you I love you and you not hear me...
Is it my turn to totally understand.
To watch you walk out of my life and not do a damn thing...
If I have to give away...
The feeling that I feel.
If I have to sacrifice...
Oh, whatever babe, whatever baby.
If I have to take apart...
All that I am...
Is there anything that I would not do,
'Cause inside I'd die without you...
'Cause inside I'd die without you...
'Cause inside I'd die without you...
[ Lyrics from: I'd Die Without You Lyrics - Pm Dawn ]
Oh, I apologize for all the things I've done.
But now I'm underwater and I'm drowning...
Is it my turn to be the one to cry.
Isn't it amazing how some things just completely turn around...
So take every little piece of my heart...
So take every little piece of my soul...
So take every little piece of my mind...
'Cause if you're gone... inside...
I'd die without you...
If I have to give away...
The feeling that I feel.
If I have to sacrifice...
Oh, whatever babe, whatever baby.
If I have to take apart...
All that I am...
Is there anything that I would not do,
'Cause inside I'd die without you...
The screech and whine of the microphone caught Bono’s attention. He was the first person to rush the stage as he saw Faith lying limply in front of her piano. He nearly knocked over Christy in the process. Alex threw off her guitar and was joined by Sam as they knelt beside her.
“Faith, wake up, love,” panic seeped into his voice.
Ryan rushed over and felt for a pulse. “It’s strong.”
Bono glanced into the crowd. “Let’s get her off the stage.”
“Can you get her?” Ryan asked.
More people started to gather in a huddle around them.
Bono nodded. “Yes.” Gingerly, he scooped her up in his arms. She felt lighter than the last time he held her. Had she been sick all this time? How could he miss that?
In a clump, the crew and bands followed him to a small area backstage.
“Call the medics,” Ryan ordered.
The crew laid down coats and towels. Faith heard voices and felt like she was floating. Her eyes fluttered to see Bono staring down at her with terror in his eyes. Then everything went black again.
“Faith love, wake up,” he pleaded. “I know she was sick, does anyone know how sick?”
Alex stepped forward. “She wasn’t feel good a few days ago.”
Ryan touched her cheeks and stomach. “She’s burning up. I’ll bet it’s heatstroke. Where are the medics? Someone get me wet towels to put under her neck.”
Larry darted up the stairs to find the crowd around Faith. Ryan dumped water on a t-shirt and handed it to Bono. With her head in his lap, he wiped her face. His heart raced so fast he thought he might be having a heart attack.
“What happened?” he asked.
“She just passed out,” Sam said. “She stood up from the piano and went over.”
“Did she eat today?” Ryan asked Alex.
She shrugged. “I saw her picking at dinner, but that was it.”
“Is she going to be okay?” Bono asked Ryan.
“It’s probably dehydration,” Ryan suggested.
“She has been complaining about being tired,” Larry offered.
“For how long?” Ryan asked. He tried to hide the worry in his voice.
“I guess about a month or so. We thought it was the touring,” Larry said.
Ryan and Bono exchanged a troubled glance. “It could be.”
Paul ran over. “What’s going on?” He saw Faith unconscious in Bono’s arms. “We need to get her to the hospital.”
Edge ran over. “They are bringing the ambulance around to the back right now.”
Paul looked at the stirring crowd. “Can we get you on earlier?”
Bono looked up at him. “What?”
“I know you aren’t slated to start until 9, but the crowd will get ugly.”
Bono shook his head. “I’m not going on. I’m going to the hospital,” he said sternly.
“What about the crowd and show? We have an obligation to play,” Paul said.
“Then we reschedule,” Bono said.
“I’m not taking that stage while my girlfriend is at the ER, Paul!” Larry boomed.
Edge looked as defiant as the other two. This was going to be a security nightmare. He called Jerry over to debrief him of the situation.
“Before we turn this into an incident, is there any way I can persuade you to take the stage?” Paul asked. He knew he could not control any of them. If they truly wanted to cancel, they would.
Bono shook his head. “Absolutely not. You let them know that we will refund the money and reschedule.”
As Paul opened his mouth to protest, the medics scrambled up the stairs with a stretcher. Reluctantly, Bono released Faith to the care of the professionals. He watched her lifeless body being transferred to the stretcher. The medics took her vitals and talked to each other in a language he didn’t understand. He heard ‘low blood pressure’ and ‘temperature’. One of them asked what happened. Alex stepped forward to give them information. How did he miss this? Had he been so wrapped up in Christy that he didn’t even see that her health was failing? What if it was the cancer? What if he lost her? He looked at Larry. Adam wrapped an arm around him to console him.
“Are you okay?” Edge looked at Bono.
“I will be once I know she’s okay,” he said. He felt arms wrap around him. Christy gave him a squeeze.
“Come, let’s follow the ambulance,” Edge nudged him.
Bono nodded numbly looking at Faith feeling helpless. He felt Christy take his hand and lead him away.
The hospital cleared a private waiting room for both bands. Alex watched Bono rub his hands together with deep creases in his brow. Christy rubbed his back and talked low in his ear. It didn’t seem like he heard anything she said. He nodded but his eyes remain fixed floor. Larry paced and grumbled about the lack of updates. Edge stood by the vending machine looking for something to eat. His stomach rumbled. He planned to eat during the second half of Strict Machine’s set. Alex walked over.
“I’m going to tell him,” she said quietly.
“Who? Bono?” he looked over at the worried singer.
“Yes, I don’t care if she gets pissed. He needs to know,” Alex said.
“Okay,” Edge agreed. This foolishness had gone on long enough to make someone sick. Faith needed Bono now.
Alex wandered over to Bono. “Can I talk to you?”
Bono picked up his eyes in surprise. “Yeah… I guess so.” He knew that Alex didn’t think too highly of him. What did Faith tell her? He looked at Christy. “I’ll be right back.” She kissed him quickly before he stood.
Larry watched them leave with a frown. “What’s that about?”
Adam shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe Alex wants them to leave the tour.” Something about the way things went down when Faith fainted didn’t feel right. The glances and the look on Bono’s face were strange.
The corridor was relatively quiet. Bono leaned against the wall ready for whatever Alex was going to throw at him. Alex searched for the best words to do Faith’s feelings justice. Best to come out with it.
“She loves you,” she blurted. “She told me not more than a few days ago.”
“So, I guess you know then?” he glanced down the corridor.
“I don’t know details. I honestly thought something was going on. She just confirmed it. She was a mess, Bono,” Alex said.
“Why is she with Larry if she loves me so much?” His insides were a raging sea. Is this what made her so sick?
“Do you know about Bradley?” she asked.
“I know he was a boyfriend, right?” he shrugged.
“There’s something you need to know about Bradley and what went down,” Alex proceeded to tell him everything about Bradley and Faith. She watched his face soften and then look horrified. She told him about drugs, the abuse – emotionally and some physical. She told him how Faith felt about him – how it was so overwhelming, it scared her. How when in New York, Bradley rose from the dead and contacted her. Bono’s hands balled up in fists thinking of how hard it would be to run from someone he loved from fear.
Finally, he understood that look in her eyes when he told her he loved her. He knew it was fear – but he didn’t understand the extent. If he knew any of this, he would have done everything differently. Alex told him that seeing him with Christy had pushed her to the brink.
“I’m not blaming you for this. I just wanted you to know what was going on with her the last few weeks. I had not seen her this broken since Bradley. She was afraid she lost you for good. She felt she owed it to Larry to stay with him,” Alex said. “But it’s you she wants.”
He collapsed against the wall. It was all he wanted to hear for months – that she loved him as much as he did her. She wanted him so much that she made herself sick over it. His eyes watered as a big boulder lifted off his heart. Knowing this now, nothing would keep them apart. Alex saw it in his eyes. Larry might have seemed the safe bet, but she knew that Bono would do anything for her.
“Do you think this is why she’s sick?” he asked.
Worry crept into her eyes. “I hope so. She’s been tired a lot. I hope it’s been this emotional rollercoaster and the tour,” she shrugged.
“Do you think?” his voice trailed off.
“We’ve talked about it – the band. God, I pray not,” she whispered.
Bono and Alex returned to the room. There had been no update from the doctors. He sat beside Christy again. She held his hand tightly. His eyes darted to Larry staring at the TV screen overhead. It’d been hours. When would they get news?
On cue, a doctor walked into the room. His scrubs had dried blood causing everyone to panic.
Everyone rushed him. Calmly, he held up his hands. “I’m sorry to keep you waiting so long. We had another emergency which prevented me coming out here. Faith is stable and semi-conscious. Part of that is our doing. She is very dehydrated and we need to get fluids in her. She did have a fever, which is starting to come down. We’re thinking it could be heat stroke, but we are running tests.” He scanned the room. “Is there a Bon-o here?”
“That’s me,” he stepped forward.
“She’s asking for you,” the doctor said.
Larry bristled. Adam placed his hand on his arm.
“Do you want to see her?” he asked.
“Of course,” he said eagerly. He moved away from Christy giving her a weak smile. “I’ll see how she is and be back.”
Larry went to speak, but Adam shook his head. “Just let him go for now.”
Bono followed the doctor down the hallway to a dimly lit room. Propped up in a hospital bed with tubes running in and out of her, was Faith. She looked so small and fragile – not like the powerhouse on the stage that he knew. There was a bandage on her forehead from her head hit the stage.
“She’s still really groggy. We’re keeping her mildly sedated. She has a decent concussion, so she might have some memory loss. Try to keep her quiet,” the doctor said lowly as he closed the door behind him.
He inched closer. He wanted to gather her up in his arms and take care of her. Quietly, he sat in the chair next to her. Her eyes were closed. She must have drifted off again when the doctor went to fetch him. He scooted the chair closer. The scraping on the floor woke her up.
“Hey beautiful,” he smiled.
“What happened?” she asked.
He brushed the hair off her forehead. “You passed out, love.”
She blinked. Her head felt heavy. She turned her head and winced. She touched her bandage. “I guess I hit my head.”
He nodded. “You have a mild concussion.”
She looked around. “What time is it?”
He flicked his wrist. “It’s about 10:30.”
She thought for a moment. “Wait….why aren’t you on stage?”
“Do you think I’d leave you in hospital and not know how you were?” he smiled.
“But the fans….” She started.
“Shh…we’ll reschedule. It will be okay. You just rest,” he soothed her.
“Did they tell you what it was?” she asked settling back against the pillow.
“Most likely dehydration. It was very hot today. We’ve done a brilliant job of running you into the ground,” he joked lightly.
She cracked a smile. “Where is everyone?”
“They’re all in the waiting room,” he said. “Do you want me to get someone? Alex? Larry?” His voice chilled a bit.
For a moment, she went back to her robotic thinking. She almost told him yes to get Larry, thus sending him back to Christy. She stared at him. “No. Please stay.” She grabbed his hand.
With a smile, he moved closer and enclosed her hand in his. He smoothed back her hair looking deep into her eyes. “Oh Faith, you scared me. I thought I lost you.”
She swallowed hard. “Just making sure you were paying attention.”
“Don’t scare me like that again. I love you,” he said.
She blinked back tears. “I heard you tell her that you loved her.”
He cocked his head. “Today?”
She nodded biting her lip. “I was looking for you and I overheard you tell her you loved her.” Her voice shook.
Everything was making sense. “I do, but not like this. Not like you.”
The tears fell over her flushed cheeks. “I screwed this up.”
“Shh, don’t cry. It’s going to be okay,” he wiped her cheeks. “Alex told me everything.”
“What?” the tears stopped.
“Don’t be mad. She did it out of love for you. She told me about Bradley and what you went through. Honey, I’d never hurt you. And if I knew that being with Christy caused you that much pain, I never would have done it. I thought you might be a little jealous, but not hurting this much,” he said. “I wish I could do this over again and do it differently. I would have told you I loved in Dublin. I would have fought harder for you.”
Everything in her ached. Her muscles felt like lead. “I do love you. I love you so much,” her voice was barely whisper. God it felt good to say it without fear. She could say it over and over. It didn’t fix everything.
“Faith, I love you too,” he kissed her dry lips.
“God, I look awful. This moment was supposed to go differently,” she said.
“You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve seen Faith Sullivan,” he pressed her hand to his face.
“You are such a liar,” she smiled.
He stared deep into her. “I’m not lying, love.”
The doctor walked back in. “Good evening, Faith. You look a little better.”
She nodded. “I do feel better.”
“Good,” he looked at Bono. “Are you family?”
Bono nodded. “I’m her boyfriend.” Faith was surprised by his pronouncement.
“Okay then. I’m Dr. Roberts. Dr. Ruiz took care of you when you first came in. Your friend Alex gave us your medical history.. First, you have some IVs of fluids because you were very dehydrated. We need to get you hydrated again. We ran some tests to see why this all happened and your white blood count was very high. Your body is trying hard to fight something. Knowing about the leukemia, we need to check that route first. It’s very rare it makes an appearance after so much time, but we want to be sure.” His voice was comforting. “Alex mentioned you’ve been tired lately.”
“We’ve been touring non-stop since April,” she nodded.
“That could be tough on a system that’s been compromised like yours at a young age,” Dr. Roberts said.Faith held Bono’s hand tightly. “I don’t want you to panic, but wanted to know what we were doing, okay?”She nodded. “So, I’m going to have the nurse come in and take some vitals. We’re going to do a quick scan on you.”
“Tonight?” she asked.
He nodded as he wrote on her chart. “Yeah, while the machine is free. Are you hungry?”
She thought about it. “Actually, I am.”
“Good,” he smiled. “When you are done, we’ll see about getting you some food, okay? Mr…” he looked a Bono.
“Ehm, Hewson,” Bono replied. “You can me Bono.”
“Okay, why don’t you go update your friends in the waiting room while we prep Faith,” he said.
“Can I go with her?” Bono asked.
“You can’t go in the room because of radiation, but you can watch from the room above,” Dr. Roberts said.
“I want to do that. Is that okay?” he looked at Faith.
She squeezed his hand. “Yes.”
“I’ll give you two a few moments, and the nurse will be in,” he smiled and left with her file.
Bono turned to her. “Okay, I’ll let them know what’s going on and be right back.”
“What about Larry and Christy?”
He shook his head. “You don’t worry about it right now. You just get better and let me take care of you, okay? Whatever comes, we deal it with it together.”
"I'll be right back," he kissed her.
Once outside her room, he steadied himself against the wall. The tears he felt but kept from her came freely.
"She'll be okay, Mr. Hewson," a nurse consoled him.
He nodded. "Thanks."
The nurse didn't know that his tears were a mix of fear and happiness. She loved him. He'd waited months to hear those words. He wished he could erase the last month. He wanted to take back each night he spent with Christy. He felt bad for her. Tonight, she told him that she loved him. And when he responded, he thought he was speaking from the heart. His world stopped when Faith fell to the stage. When she wouldn't wake up, he'd give everything he owned to see her smile again. When Alex told him Faith loved him, he hoped it wasn't too late. When she asked for him over everyone, his heart rejoiced. Now that they finally found each other, he was terrified that their time would be limited.
He offered the nurse a small smile. "Thanks." Wiping his eyes on his shirt, he pushed through the doors.
Alex was the first to rush over. "How is she? Did you talk to her?"
He caught her off guard by pulling her into a tight hug. "Thank you so much." He whispered. "She's awake."The group gathered around him expectantly. He didn't see Larry and no one offered up his whereabouts. "She didn't remember fainting but was worried about the fans."
Alex laughed. That was a good sign. "They are giving her fluids. They ran some tests and her white blood cells were high. They are going to do some kind of scan so make sure it's nothing serious. " He saw panic hit Alex's eyes. "But after that, they'll let her eat."
He felt Christy's eyes on him. She wrapped her arms around herself tightly. Something wasn't right about this. His eyes were different. What could have happened in that room?
"Do you think they'd let me see her?" ALEx asked.
He nodded. "I'm sure they would."
"Do you want something to eat? " Edge asked.
He shook his head. "No....." His eyes caught on Larry and Adam returning with coffees. He shoved the lump down in his throat.
Larry rushed over. "How is she?"
Dr. Roberts walked through the door. "Mr. Hewson, we're ready to take her up."
Bono nodded. "Okay. I'll be right in."
"Is that for scan?" Ryan asked. Bono nodded. "Do they think....."
"They want to be sure," Bono said gravely.
"What’s going on? What's wrong?" Larry started to panic.
Bono looked at Alex. "He still doesn't know?"
Alex shook her head. "I'll tell him. Go be with her."
He offered the group a weak smile before slipping through the doors again.
Larry stared feel hysterical. "Tell me what? Why the fuck is he going in and not me? I'm her fecking boyfriend!"
Edge rushed over. "Let's go outside."
"I'm coming too," Alex said.
Sam grabbed her arm. "What's going on?"
"Faith never told Larry about the cancer," she said.
Sam's eyes widened. "He didn't know?"
"I'm going to calm him down," she said.
Edge guided Larry outside. The Miami air was still oppressive. Larry shook Edge off. "What the fuck is going on?"
Alex took a deep breath. This was the other side she hadn't considered. Bono and Faith were finally together it seemed. But there was still Larry and Christy.
"When Faith was a teenager, she battled leukemia," Alex said.
Larry’s eyes popped open. "What? She never said anything. "
Alex nodded. "She didn't want anyone to know. She was afraid people would treat her like china."
"Is she currently undergoing treatment? " he found it hard to believe that he would have missed that.
"No, she's been in remission or cancer free for almost over 10 years. And she does get checked twice a year so that it can be caught early," Alex said.
Larry’s eyes darkened. "Is that why her mother left?"
Alex looked down. "She couldn’t deal with it."
"Jaysus," he shook his head. What mother would leave her sick child? And then to lose her the father that took care of her. "Does Bono know about this?"
She knew he'd get back to that. "He found out by accident. He asked where Faith went for hours at a time. Ryan told him."
"What do you mean 'go for hours at a time?'" Larry asked.
They waited as an ambulance wailed going by. "Faith goes to hospitals to visit children's cancer wards. She reads to them, sings to them, give them hope," Alex said. How did he not even notice as her boyfriend. Bono noticed before anything happened between them.
"You didn't notice she took off for a few hours?" Edge asked him.
"I may have noticed that but didn't question it. I like to take off by myself for a few hours," he shrugged. Suddenly, he felt like a shitty boyfriend. How did he not notice this? He was blissfully going along. She seemed fine, maybe tired. The last few days she seemed off, but when he asked if she was okay she said she was tired or not used to the heat. "Why wouldn't she tell me after we got together? "
"I have no idea. I don't understand what the block was," she shrugged.
Larry looked up at the sky. It was past midnight now. "Why is he in there?" Larry's voice was still.
Edge and Alex exchanged a quick glance. "He went with her to the hospital a few times. I think she confided in him about it."
Larry shoved his hands in his pocket. "He loves her, doesn't he?"
Edge sighed. "I believe so."
Larry felt his heart tighten. He tried to think back to Faith and Bono together. Did she love him? How could that even happen when they didn't spend time together.
"Now I need to find out why he was the first person she wanted to see. I get that it might not have been me. But I 'd expect Ryan or you," he pointed to Alex. He ran his hand over his head. "Not Bono."
"They were really good friends," Edge offered.
Larry glared at him. "Yes, but I'm her boyfriend. The one she loves, supposedly."
Edge felt awful. By helping Bono he had betrayed Larry. "I'm sure that she does." He honestly didn't know what was in Faith's head. He figured that she must have loved him to be with him for the last few months. She did seem happy around him.
"I'm going for a walk," Larry felt restless. He needed to think alone. Edge looked at him in pity like he somehow knew that Larry's relationship was over Larry did.
Edge looked around. "I don't think that's a good idea. I'm not sure how the area is. You should take Dave with you at least."
"I need to be alone. I won't go far and I'm not stupid. I just need some air," He didn't give them another moment to protest before he took off across the street.
"Will he be okay?" Alex asked.
Edge scratched his chin. "I hope so. Things are going to be tense on the tour for awhile. But I fully believe that things are now right."
"You know, I do too," she nodded. "This feels right."
He looked at her. "How are you doing? I know she's your best friend."
"She's like a sister. I'm scared. I wish I intervened sooner. I noticed that she was run down at the end of the European tour. Even in the studio...but she'd have these bursts of energy and I'd think everything was okay. The last week, I thought it was depression. But now, maybe it was something worse," She bit her lip. "I'm scared."
He pulled her into his arms. "It will be fine. She's strong. She's survived cancer once, losing a mother, burying a father, dating a drug addict....and I heard that at night she beats up bad guys."
Alex laughed into his chest. "Well she does box."
He squeezed her. Now that he fixed Bono's love life, he had to look at his own.After another terrible fight with Morleigh, he wondered if it was worth it. Sure, when they were together, it was wonderful. But she was focused living in the now. She wasn't ready to be a mom or a step-mom. Alex knew she should leave his arms. Her future husband was close by. She saw first hand what this kind of thing led to. But it felt so comforting being rocked by him.
Christy’s eyes were glazed over as she watched the evening news. Faith’s collapse made the last news bit of the day because the concert was cancelled. Somehow, the news channel acquired amateur video of the moment she fell. It was scary. One minute, she was standing next to the piano – the next slumped to the ground. She saw Bono be the first one at her side – even before her own bandmates. Adam sat beside her watching them replay that moment over and over.
“I wasn’t on stage when it happened. Seeing it here, it is pretty frightening,” Adam sighed.
“I should have known,” Christy said.
Adam looked over. “Know….?”
“He’s in love with her. Look at his face when he runs to her. All the way to the hospital and even sitting here, he was lost in his own head. It was like I wasn’t here. And I get that it’s not about me. But looking in his eyes, I know. Maybe I should have seen it sooner. I knew they were close, I didn’t know how close until tonight,” she wanted to cry, but there were no tears. She said she loved him. She believed that she did. But looking in his face after seeing Faith, she knew that’s what love looked and felt like.
“You know, right before Larry and Faith got together, I wondered if something had started with Bono and Faith. They were together a lot. They just had this chemistry. So, I was surprised when Larry and Faith started dating,” he rubbed his chin. “But I don’t think I noticed anything until tonight. I wonder how Larry feels.”
Christy smiled weakly. “I think I have an idea.”
Adam gave her hand a squeeze. “Maybe it’s not what we think.”
She laughed. “Oh, I have a feeling it’s more than we think. There were times when I thought maybe he was distracted. Maybe it was Ali he was thinking of. I see now, it was Faith. You know, I thought he looked at her differently. You’re right….the energy was different. Maybe I didn’t want to see it.”
Adam rubbed his eyes. It was almost midnight. This would be messier before it was over. He looked over at Ryan and Sam. Ryan looked terrible. Faith was a sister to him.
Adam walked over. “How are you guys holding up?”
“Nervous,” Ryan said.
“Did I hear Alex say cancer?” he asked.
Sam looked over at Ryan. “I think it’s stupid to keep it secret anymore.”
Ryan nodded. He told the story of Faith has cancer as a child and how Bono had come to find out. Christy knew it was time to leave. She didn’t need to hear it from Bono.
She touched Adam’s arm. “I’m tired. I’m going to go.”
“Do you want me to tell Bono you’ll be back at the room?” he asked.
She had forgotten that her room had been his room. “No, I’m moving hotels. I’m leaving tomorrow. I think it’s best that way.”
Adam hugged her. “I’m sorry Christy.”
She smiled weakly. “It’s okay. I think I got in the way of what was supposed to happen.” She remembered the strange exchange she had with Faith on the dance floor at Adam’s wedding. Faith told her to be good to him. Christy now recognized the sadness in her voice. “We’ll talk soon.”
Finally at 2:30 in the morning, Faith was able to have dinner. She felt as if she hadn’t eaten in weeks. Thinking back, she really hadn’t. She was sore from the fall and being poked and prodded since coming in. The scan was inconclusive, so a bone marrow biopsy was performed. She hated those. No matter how much anesthesia was given, she always felt the needle penetrate her bone. It had been years since she had one of those. This time, instead of holding her father’s hand, she held Bono’s hand. Strangely enough, both men had the same fear in their eyes as they watched. After her soup and grilled cheese for Bono, she felt tired but restless. She wondered how the waiting room was faring – more importantly Larry and Christy. She knew she’d have to talk to him at some point. What was she going to say? How would this affect U2?
Bono’s eyes felt heavy, but the testing had unnerved him. She was here holding his hand tightly. They would leave this hospital together – hand in hand. There was no way he was letting go now. He was ready for the shitstorm to follow. He tried to ready himself for whatever the testing found. They’d fight this together. Faith flipped through the 10 stations the hospital on their cable. She found a rebroadcast of the news.
“Should you update them?” she asked Bono.
“The next time the nurse comes in, I’ll ask if she will let them know or has updated them. I have a feeling that if I went out there right now, it could get ugly,” he said.
“I have a feeling it will be ugly for awhile,” she sighed. “I was confused when I started seeing Larry. I should have known. I let it get too far.”
“You thought he was the one. I wasn’t the most stable choice at the time. I really can’t blame you for running away,” he looked deeply into her eyes. “But I’m here for good. And I am not letting you run away again.”
“I don’t want to run,” she said.
He leaned over and kissed her the way he’d dreamt of kissing her for weeks. Slowly and passionately. He couldn’t wait until she was out of that hospital bed and in his. There would be no sneaking away the following morning.
“I missed you. Even just talking with you. I hated that we weren’t getting along. I knew that whatever I was doing with Christy was fucking that up, but I was so lonely. I knew Larry had you every night and it killed me,” he buried his face in her neck.
“It’s over now. Can you move on knowing I was with Larry?” she blushed.
“Maybe. One question. Am I better?” a small smile played on his lips.
“You cannot tell him this, but yes. Oh my God yes!” she laughed.
“Same for you. I just closed my eyes and thought of you,” he said.
‘The U2 concert tonight was postponed due to a medical emergency. Faith Sullivan of the opening band Strict Machine, collapsed on stage. We received this video of the show from a viewer,’ the newscaster said.
“Oh shit,” Faith moaned. There to relive in Technicolor was her embarrassing fall. She watched as Bono was the first at her side from clear across the opposite side of the stage. The shaky camera zoomed in on his face, and she saw the sheer terror. “You were quick. It looks scary watching it like this. It’s like having an outer body experience on TV.”
His face was serious. “I don’t think I’ve ever been that frightened. Do you remember anything?”
“I had been feeling off for days, but I wasn’t sleeping or eating. A few days ago, I broke down and confessed to Alex about you. She told me I needed to talk to you. I tried to get you alone, but you were always with Christy. I thought I had my chance this afternoon. Then,” he voice broke. “I heard you tell her you loved her. I…I…I lost it. I saw you kissing from my piano. I don’t know…the heat…not eating…seeing that….I went to go to the mic and that’s all I remember.”
He kissed her hand. “I’m so sorry. If I knew that, I’d never….I could only think of getting to you. When you wouldn’t wake up, I died inside.”
“I feel much better. I’m tired and sore, but much better,” she squeezed his hand.
“You have some color back,” his eyes clouded over. “I wonder when we find out about the test.”
“Soon, I hope.” She said worry creeping in.
He touched her cheek. “Whatever it is, we will handle it together. You and I are a team now. We’ve wasted enough time and I won’t waste anymore.”
She nodded. He cleared her plates. Being the lead singer of had its perks. Most visitors would be tossed out. He was allowed to stay the night. He crawled inside her hospital bed to hold her. She curled up and fell asleep on his chest, listening to the rhythm of his heart.
The nurse knocked lightly on the door. “Excuse me, Bono?”
He looked over. She smiled as she saw Faith curled up in his arms. “Is this okay?” He whispered.
“Yes, as long as she’s comfortable. She needs her sleep. I came in because there’s an Edge outside that wanted to speak to you?” she asked.
“Sure, let him in,” Bono said.
Edge nodded to the nurse as he walked in the room. He smiled at the scene before him. It was as if it was all worth it so see him at peace for the first time in years. “Hey...” He inched closer.
“Hey, what time is it?” Bono blinked.
“It’s almost 3:30. The nurse came out and updated us. I think we’re all calling it a night. Everyone’s exhausted,” he said lowly.
“God yes. I’m surprised you’re all still here,” Bono said.
“Chrsity left around midnight,” Edge said.
Bono ran a hand over his face. “I need to talk to her.”
“She told Adam that she was leaving tomorrow. I think she figured it out,” Edge said.
“I never expected this,” Bono said. “I wish it happened differently. I will try to call her in a few days to apologize. I shouldn’t have brought her into this.”
“How were you to know it would end like this?” Edge shrugged.
“Is Larry still here?” Bono asked. That was the one he was worried about.
Edge shook his head. “He wanted to stay. Adam convinced him to get some sleep. They left a few minutes ago. You’ll have to deal with him tomorrow.”
Bono nodded. “I know. How is he? Edge, you know I never set out to hurt him. I couldn’t be honorable anymore and just sit back. She’s in my blood.”
“I know. I think he knows too, but he loves her too. Imagine how he feels to be worried about her and not see her. And have your best mate being the one she asked for....” Edge sighed. “He’s having a rough time too.”
“I know, I know. This has been a weird day. Almost stranger than the day Ali told me she wanted a divorce. I saw that coming. This,” he glanced down at Faith sleeping. “I did not. I really never thought I’d be here again.”
“She looks much better. She looks happy,” Edge smiled.
“I think we both are. I’m not letting her go this time,” he said.
“Do you need anything?” Edge asked.
“I have everything I need right here,” he smiled as he pulled her closer.
Edge envied Bono for a moment. Sure, he and Faith would have to deal with the fallout, but they were happy wrapped in each other’s arms.
“Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow,” Edge said. “I’m glad she’s doing better. Any word on the testing?”
“Hopefully tomorrow. Thanks. I’ll let her know you were asking for her. Tell Alex, she’s in good hands,” he said.
Edge smiled. “She knows.”
Larry stared out the window watching the Miami streets whizz by. Last night, he tossed and turned. He watched the news and saw those horrifying moments play over and over. On the local station. The national morning show. MTV and VH1. It never failed to shock him as he watched her crumple. Then Bono rushing to her side and his face. He knew Bono had wanted her. Larry toyed with the idea that maybe his feelings went a little deeper. Those concerns disappeared when Christy entered the scene. Larry knew that things didn't go smoothly with Faith. No he understood why. There had been a third person with them. Had they kissed? Had they done more? Was it before or during? Those duets were not an act. He shook his head. She hated Bono. How did this happen? When he woke, he looked over at the space she use to sleep. He had no idea that yesterday would be the last morning.
Bono sat on the hospital bed listening to the shower. It was wrong to want to join her. He half considered it, then pictured getting caught by a nurse. Alex brought by some of Faith's clothes and she was anxious to get into something that closed in the back. After breakfast, she returned to Faith. Her cheeks were flushed. Her quick wit had returned. She was eager to get out and back on tour. They were still running tests. They started antibiotics thinking that whatever was going on might be viral. She slept soundly in his arms while he dozed on and off. He couldn't believe she was with him. The other half of him was terrified to lose her again. He was actually worried about her talking with Larry. What is he convinced her to stay with him? Larry was the one she wanted first.
"Excuse me, there are some people here to Faith," she said. The staff had been wonderful to him. They included him on everything. They checked with him when visitors arrived.
"She's in the shower," he said.
"I can stay while you see your friends," she smiled.
It was probably Larry. He had dreaded this since he saw Larry’s face when he went to talk to the group. He nodded. It needed to be done.
Taking a deep breath, Bono steeled himself for the wrath of Larry. He pushed to the waiting room which was no longer private to them. He saw an older couple in the corner. A few others milled about. He was greeted by Larry’s cold glare. Edge stepped around him.
"How is she this morning?" He hugged Bono.
"She's good. Almost back to normal. She's still tired. They started her on antibiotics and she's still on fluids. She looks loads better," his eyes didn't leave Larry.
Larry stood with his arms crossed in front of his chest. “So you stayed all night, I gather.”
Bono gave a quick nod. “ I did.”
“I want to see her,” Larry said.
“She’s showering now,” Bono glared.
“I can wait,” Larry stood his ground.
Edge moved between them. “Don’t either of you start. This is a hospital. For Faith’s sake, you both need to stand down.” He looked at Bono. “He has every right to see her.” He turned to Larry. “And don’t you upset her.”
They both looked like scolded children. “I’ll see if she’s out.” Bono turned on his heels. So far, no punches had been thrown. That was a good sign. Slowly, Bono pushed open the cracked door to see Faith sitting on the bed dressed in sweatpants and t-shirt. The nurse finished reconnecting the last of her IVs. A stand with 3 bags hung beside Faith.
“You look refreshed,” he smiled.
The nurse excused herself to get some juice for Faith.
Faith looked at Bono in his rumpled pre-show clothes. “You’re next.”
“I wish I could have joined you,” his voice dropped.
She smirked. “Soon. Soon.”
They stared at each other hungrily for a moment. Both could not wait until this was behind them and they could really be alone together.
He sat beside her on the bad and took her hand. “Faith, Larry is here to see you.”
She nodded. “I knew he’d come back. I have to talk to him.”
“What are you going to say?” he asked.
She shook her head. “I don’t know. I’m sorry, I guess.”
He looked her directly in the eye. “Are you positive that you want to be with me? I mean, you know I have the girls….”
“I’m very sure. Last night was the first time I felt at peace in a very long time. I know you have the girls and they are a huge part of your life. And if you want me to be, I’ll be a part of their lives too,” she said.
His heart melted again. He felt incredibly blessed at the moment. “They ask about you. They ask when they’ll see the cool lady again.”
Faith smiled. His love for his girls was very attractive. “Good. I was fearing a Morleigh situation.”
“I love Morleigh, but I get the sense that she doesn’t try with Edge’s girls. There was friction from the start. Jordan and Eve think you’re pretty cool, so we have that going for us,” he winked. “Oh Faith, I love you. It feels good to be able to say that to you.”
“I know. I’ve been pushing it down for so long,” she sighed pressing her forehead against his. “You should let Larry in.”
“I don’t want to,” he said. “Can we just stay here like this?”
“You need to talk to Christy and I need to talk to Larry,” Faith said sitting back against the pillows.
“She left, Christy. Edge told me last night. I guess my feelings were fairly transparent when you fell ill,” he said.
“Wow….how noble of her,” Faith mused sarcastically.
Bono nodded. “We’d dated for just a few weeks. I think we were 2 lonely people – and in my case , jealous and hurting…”
“The night you told me you loved me, I thought it. I did. Part of me wanted to say it back. I just couldn’t. I had so much baggage and I was involved with Larry,” she said.
“I know I put a lot on you that night. I did think you might come around sooner,” he teased.
She laughed. “Well, I wanted to give you time to have a last hurrah before settling down.”
His laugh filled the room. “So this fainting thing was all a ruse to bring me to my senses, right?”
She touched the bandage on her forehead. “Yes, I just took it too seriously and really fell.”
His eyes trailed over the bags of fluid filling her veins to make her better. “Let’s NOT do that again. You have my undivided attention.”
He kissed her. It was meant to be a sweet kiss, but she pulled him closer. She knew she was feeling better as a hunger rose up inside her. His own control was starting to slip as she teased his mouth. Reluctantly, he pulled away chuckling.
“As a rock star, I get away with a lot. Somehow I think that would be frowned upon,” he said.
“I can’t wait to get sprung from here. It’s been too long,” her eyes smoldered.
He swallowed hard. “Yes it has been too long.” Once she was out of the hospital, and properly well, he envisioned them holing up in a room for at least 24 hours rediscovering all that they left behind.
“Hey, are you decent?” Edge called as tapped on the door.
Bono looked over his shoulder to see Alex, Edge and Larry gathered in the doorway.
“Yes, come in,” Faith called. Seeing Larry made the butterflies turn to vultures in her stomach. His face was a mixture of anger and pain.
Alex ran over and hugged Faith tightly. “Jesus, you gave us a scare.”
“I know, I feel really foolish for doing that,” she blushed.
“How do you feel?” she asked.
Bono scooted off the bed to give Alex space. He stood against the wall glaring back at Larry.
“Tired, but much better. I’m sore from the fall and being poked and prodded all last night,” she yawned.
“Did you get some sleep?” Alex asked.
“When they weren’t checking on me, yes. I’m sorry about the show. Tell the guys I’m sorry for screwing it up,” Faith said.
“Are you kidding? You were sick. You couldn’t control it,” Alex gasped.
“There’s nothing to apologize for, Faith,” Edge stepped forward. “We were the ones that decided to not go on.”
“Yeah, but it was because of me,” she protested.
“We’re family,” Edge cast a gaze at Larry and Bono. “And we take care of each other.”
Alex couldn’t love him more if she tried. She had a full understanding of the stress Faith felt.
Faith’s eyes watered a little as she looked at Larry for the first time. As soon as he looked in her eyes, his face softened. The air was heavy in the room. Everyone held their collective breath.
“Larry,” she said quietly. “Are you okay?”
He rushed to her side so swiftly, Bono flinched. Larry sat on the edge of the bed. “How are you?” He took both her hands in his.
Edge motioned to Bono to leave the room. Bono didn’t want to leave. He looked down at Faith and Larry. Edge took his arm. “Come on. I’ll buy you a cup of shitty coffee.”
Faith nodded to Bono. “It’s okay.”
With a terse nod, he left with Alex and Edge. He leaned against the wall outside her room.
“Give them some time,” Edge implored.
“I’m staying here in case he upsets her,” B shrugged.
“He won’t change her mind,” Alex said. “She loves you.”
There was still a small seed of doubt in his mind. He felt very protective of what they had now. It had been less than 24 hours since they openly declared their love. It felt fragile.
“Come on. It will be okay,” Edge pushed B towards the waiting room. “You haven’t left her side since the fall.”
Bono let himself be dragged away from her room.
Larry listened to the voices to be gone. “How are you?” His fingers brushed the bandage on her head.
“I’m okay. I’m better. I’m still pretty tired,” she said.
“You gave us all a scare,” Larry buried his head in her hands. “Why didn’t you tell me about your cancer?”
“I don’t know. I thought you might look at me differently. I had a big hang up about it. The more people that knew, the better the chance it would get out. I didn’t want that to be the focal point of the band. You know how the media circus is,” she said.
There was silence as Larry thought of his next words. He wanted to beg her to stay with him, to tell her that he loved her too.
“This is all my fault. I messed this up the night I kissed you and bolted. I pushed you right into his arms,” he sighed. She never looked at him the same after that night.
“Larry, I….” she didn’t know what to say. Yes, she loved Larry – but it was very different than the way she loved Bono.
“I wish I could go back and change that night. Maybe you’d be asking me to stay with you instead,” he said sullenly. His eyes burned with something and it was probably the most passion she had ever seen from him.
She started to cry. “I’m so sorry Larry. This was never supposed to happen.”
“I know, I know,” he hated Bono at the moment. “I don’t even think I want to know how it happened.” He wiped her eyes with his thumbs. “Or when.” The look in her eyes told him it was better to not know everything.
“I’m sorry for ruining your life,” she sniffled.
He took her face in his hands. “Darlin’, you didn’t ruin my life.”
“But you left Ann for me,” she said.
“Yes and no. It was time for me to leave Ann. That relationship had run its course. She wanted to get married and I honestly don’t think I believe in it. She wanted kids and I’m not sure right now. So while it looked like I was leaving her for you, I did it for her and I. Leaving her meant I could finally pursue you,” he said. “I have a feeling that I interrupted something now.”
“But I’ve messed up you and Bono,” she looked down at her hands fiddling with a piece of gauze.
“I’ll admit that I’m pissed at him. I’m raged at him and I don’t even know why. It wasn’t a secret that he fancied you at the start of the tour. It was a joke. We all had a laugh. Something changed though. I know you got close when his da died, and maybe that was the moment,” he searched for a confirmation to his claim.
“I guess that was a pretty intense time. Tragedy brings people together in ways they don’t understand,” she said quietly remembering that first desperate night. She was so worried that she had ruined things with Larry and in a way, she had. After Bono had his hands on her, she was never the same again.
“I guess I’m pissed because even after you and I got together, I got the sense that he never let go. That you still belonged to him and he was going to win you,” he looked down. “And he did.”
“I don’t think anyone really ‘won’ out of this,” Faith touched his hand.
“You did love me, right?” he looked up.
“Of course I do,” her voice was soft and tender.
Larry brushed her cheek as he pressed his lips on hers. He had to try one more time to reclaim her. Once she had chosen Larry over Bono. Maybe he could change her mind. It was a sweet kiss but something was missing – and it had since their first kiss. His heart sunk knowing that this was in part his fault. He left the door open for Bono who took her heart. Slowly, he pulled away.
“I wish to fuck it was me, Faith,” he whispered. He moved away before he did something stupid. “Bono and I will be okay. We’ve fought before – not over a woman – usually songs or stage concepts. I don’t want you to beat yourself up over this or make yourself any sicker. Promise me one thing.”
“What’s that?” she asked.
“If he fucks up in anyway, you give me another go,” he smiled devilishly.
“Lawrence,” she gasped and hit his arm.
“I’m dead serious,” he laughed.
“Okay, okay,” Faith knew Bono would never let that happen.
“Also, you decide to take a lover, consider me,” he grinned. Inside he felt awful. His face serious. “I don’t imagine I can change your mind and have you stay with me?”
Faith bit her lip. “Larry, I don’t want to hurt you…but I love him.”
That was the dagger in his heart. He had asked for it. He needed to hear her say it. With one look, he knew it to be true.
He sniffed as he got off the bed. “I understand. Well, I don’t because I’m better looking, but…” he teased. “Okay, I’m going to go. Can I come back later to see you?”
“Of course you can,” she said. Her heart died a little inside too. For 2 months, he made her feel safe. His sad eyes tore at her. But it had to be done. Staying with Larry was not the answer for any of them.
“All right. I’m going to punch out your new boyfriend,” he flashed a smile. “Just messin’ with ya….sort of.”
Deep down, she knew it would all work out somehow.
Bono twiddled a stirrer in his fingers as he watched the door. He hopped up when Larry came through. They stood almost chest to chest. Both Adam and Edge scrambled to their feet in case a punch was tossed.
“You are a lucky tosser, you know that?” Larry growled. Bono said nothing. His jaw hardened as he stared at the drummer. “I’ll be waiting for you to feck it up. And when you do, I’ll be there.”
“You’ll die alone waiting for that to happen,” B hissed.
Paul stepped forward. “Boys. This is a hospital. Respect that.” They each took a step back. “We need to discuss the rest of this tour and possibly replacing Strict Machine.”
“Wait a minute, Paul,” Bono said.
Larry joined him. “Aren’t you jumping the gun?”
Alex and Ryan also rushed over. Bono stopped them. “What are you on about?”
“I just want to make sure that they can finish the tour. I don’t want to stress Faith. I want to let her have time to get better,” Paul said. “We need to think of a back-up plan.”
“It hasn’t even been 24 hours. Our next date is 5 days away which will give her plenty of time to rest,” Bono narrowed his eyes. “This isn’t about anything else is it?”
“As long as everyone is on stage and relatively healthy, I’m not here to judge. Based on what happened last night, I need to think of contingency plans.” Paul said.
“We’ve all seen Faith and she is much better,” Larry said.
“We’re just waiting for some test results. I’ll see if I can find a doctor to get things moving along,” Bono knew that Faith would flip her lid if she knew that Paul was thinking of replacing them.
“Excuse me,” the woman who had been sitting in the corner approached Bono. He figured that he would get recognized.
“Yes,” he smiled sweetly. There something about her eyes.
“Did I hear you say Faith?” the woman asked.
Bono looked at Alex questioningly. “Maybe?”
“Faith Sullivan from that band?” the woman was persistent.
“Can I help you with something?” B asked cocking his head to the side.
“I’m Faith’s mother, Patty,” the woman said nervously.
It's all fiction by the way.
**Sorry about the funky formatting. Hope it's not to distracting. It's take me a really long time to get the line breaks in the way I want them because there's so much dialogue.
I'd Die Without You - PM Dawn
PM Dawn (HQ) - I'd Die Without You - YouTube
Is it my turn to wish you were lying here.
I tend to dream you when I'm not sleeping.
Is it my turn to fictionalize my world.
Or even imagine your emotions to tell myself anything...
Is it my turn to hold you by your hands.
Tell you I love you and you not hear me...
Is it my turn to totally understand.
To watch you walk out of my life and not do a damn thing...
If I have to give away...
The feeling that I feel.
If I have to sacrifice...
Oh, whatever babe, whatever baby.
If I have to take apart...
All that I am...
Is there anything that I would not do,
'Cause inside I'd die without you...
'Cause inside I'd die without you...
'Cause inside I'd die without you...
[ Lyrics from: I'd Die Without You Lyrics - Pm Dawn ]
Oh, I apologize for all the things I've done.
But now I'm underwater and I'm drowning...
Is it my turn to be the one to cry.
Isn't it amazing how some things just completely turn around...
So take every little piece of my heart...
So take every little piece of my soul...
So take every little piece of my mind...
'Cause if you're gone... inside...
I'd die without you...
If I have to give away...
The feeling that I feel.
If I have to sacrifice...
Oh, whatever babe, whatever baby.
If I have to take apart...
All that I am...
Is there anything that I would not do,
'Cause inside I'd die without you...
The screech and whine of the microphone caught Bono’s attention. He was the first person to rush the stage as he saw Faith lying limply in front of her piano. He nearly knocked over Christy in the process. Alex threw off her guitar and was joined by Sam as they knelt beside her.
“Faith, wake up, love,” panic seeped into his voice.
Ryan rushed over and felt for a pulse. “It’s strong.”
Bono glanced into the crowd. “Let’s get her off the stage.”
“Can you get her?” Ryan asked.
More people started to gather in a huddle around them.
Bono nodded. “Yes.” Gingerly, he scooped her up in his arms. She felt lighter than the last time he held her. Had she been sick all this time? How could he miss that?
In a clump, the crew and bands followed him to a small area backstage.
“Call the medics,” Ryan ordered.
The crew laid down coats and towels. Faith heard voices and felt like she was floating. Her eyes fluttered to see Bono staring down at her with terror in his eyes. Then everything went black again.
“Faith love, wake up,” he pleaded. “I know she was sick, does anyone know how sick?”
Alex stepped forward. “She wasn’t feel good a few days ago.”
Ryan touched her cheeks and stomach. “She’s burning up. I’ll bet it’s heatstroke. Where are the medics? Someone get me wet towels to put under her neck.”
Larry darted up the stairs to find the crowd around Faith. Ryan dumped water on a t-shirt and handed it to Bono. With her head in his lap, he wiped her face. His heart raced so fast he thought he might be having a heart attack.
“What happened?” he asked.
“She just passed out,” Sam said. “She stood up from the piano and went over.”
“Did she eat today?” Ryan asked Alex.
She shrugged. “I saw her picking at dinner, but that was it.”
“Is she going to be okay?” Bono asked Ryan.
“It’s probably dehydration,” Ryan suggested.
“She has been complaining about being tired,” Larry offered.
“For how long?” Ryan asked. He tried to hide the worry in his voice.
“I guess about a month or so. We thought it was the touring,” Larry said.
Ryan and Bono exchanged a troubled glance. “It could be.”
Paul ran over. “What’s going on?” He saw Faith unconscious in Bono’s arms. “We need to get her to the hospital.”
Edge ran over. “They are bringing the ambulance around to the back right now.”
Paul looked at the stirring crowd. “Can we get you on earlier?”
Bono looked up at him. “What?”
“I know you aren’t slated to start until 9, but the crowd will get ugly.”
Bono shook his head. “I’m not going on. I’m going to the hospital,” he said sternly.
“What about the crowd and show? We have an obligation to play,” Paul said.
“Then we reschedule,” Bono said.
“I’m not taking that stage while my girlfriend is at the ER, Paul!” Larry boomed.
Edge looked as defiant as the other two. This was going to be a security nightmare. He called Jerry over to debrief him of the situation.
“Before we turn this into an incident, is there any way I can persuade you to take the stage?” Paul asked. He knew he could not control any of them. If they truly wanted to cancel, they would.
Bono shook his head. “Absolutely not. You let them know that we will refund the money and reschedule.”
As Paul opened his mouth to protest, the medics scrambled up the stairs with a stretcher. Reluctantly, Bono released Faith to the care of the professionals. He watched her lifeless body being transferred to the stretcher. The medics took her vitals and talked to each other in a language he didn’t understand. He heard ‘low blood pressure’ and ‘temperature’. One of them asked what happened. Alex stepped forward to give them information. How did he miss this? Had he been so wrapped up in Christy that he didn’t even see that her health was failing? What if it was the cancer? What if he lost her? He looked at Larry. Adam wrapped an arm around him to console him.
“Are you okay?” Edge looked at Bono.
“I will be once I know she’s okay,” he said. He felt arms wrap around him. Christy gave him a squeeze.
“Come, let’s follow the ambulance,” Edge nudged him.
Bono nodded numbly looking at Faith feeling helpless. He felt Christy take his hand and lead him away.
The hospital cleared a private waiting room for both bands. Alex watched Bono rub his hands together with deep creases in his brow. Christy rubbed his back and talked low in his ear. It didn’t seem like he heard anything she said. He nodded but his eyes remain fixed floor. Larry paced and grumbled about the lack of updates. Edge stood by the vending machine looking for something to eat. His stomach rumbled. He planned to eat during the second half of Strict Machine’s set. Alex walked over.
“I’m going to tell him,” she said quietly.
“Who? Bono?” he looked over at the worried singer.
“Yes, I don’t care if she gets pissed. He needs to know,” Alex said.
“Okay,” Edge agreed. This foolishness had gone on long enough to make someone sick. Faith needed Bono now.
Alex wandered over to Bono. “Can I talk to you?”
Bono picked up his eyes in surprise. “Yeah… I guess so.” He knew that Alex didn’t think too highly of him. What did Faith tell her? He looked at Christy. “I’ll be right back.” She kissed him quickly before he stood.
Larry watched them leave with a frown. “What’s that about?”
Adam shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe Alex wants them to leave the tour.” Something about the way things went down when Faith fainted didn’t feel right. The glances and the look on Bono’s face were strange.
The corridor was relatively quiet. Bono leaned against the wall ready for whatever Alex was going to throw at him. Alex searched for the best words to do Faith’s feelings justice. Best to come out with it.
“She loves you,” she blurted. “She told me not more than a few days ago.”
“So, I guess you know then?” he glanced down the corridor.
“I don’t know details. I honestly thought something was going on. She just confirmed it. She was a mess, Bono,” Alex said.
“Why is she with Larry if she loves me so much?” His insides were a raging sea. Is this what made her so sick?
“Do you know about Bradley?” she asked.
“I know he was a boyfriend, right?” he shrugged.
“There’s something you need to know about Bradley and what went down,” Alex proceeded to tell him everything about Bradley and Faith. She watched his face soften and then look horrified. She told him about drugs, the abuse – emotionally and some physical. She told him how Faith felt about him – how it was so overwhelming, it scared her. How when in New York, Bradley rose from the dead and contacted her. Bono’s hands balled up in fists thinking of how hard it would be to run from someone he loved from fear.
Finally, he understood that look in her eyes when he told her he loved her. He knew it was fear – but he didn’t understand the extent. If he knew any of this, he would have done everything differently. Alex told him that seeing him with Christy had pushed her to the brink.
“I’m not blaming you for this. I just wanted you to know what was going on with her the last few weeks. I had not seen her this broken since Bradley. She was afraid she lost you for good. She felt she owed it to Larry to stay with him,” Alex said. “But it’s you she wants.”
He collapsed against the wall. It was all he wanted to hear for months – that she loved him as much as he did her. She wanted him so much that she made herself sick over it. His eyes watered as a big boulder lifted off his heart. Knowing this now, nothing would keep them apart. Alex saw it in his eyes. Larry might have seemed the safe bet, but she knew that Bono would do anything for her.
“Do you think this is why she’s sick?” he asked.
Worry crept into her eyes. “I hope so. She’s been tired a lot. I hope it’s been this emotional rollercoaster and the tour,” she shrugged.
“Do you think?” his voice trailed off.
“We’ve talked about it – the band. God, I pray not,” she whispered.
Bono and Alex returned to the room. There had been no update from the doctors. He sat beside Christy again. She held his hand tightly. His eyes darted to Larry staring at the TV screen overhead. It’d been hours. When would they get news?
On cue, a doctor walked into the room. His scrubs had dried blood causing everyone to panic.
Everyone rushed him. Calmly, he held up his hands. “I’m sorry to keep you waiting so long. We had another emergency which prevented me coming out here. Faith is stable and semi-conscious. Part of that is our doing. She is very dehydrated and we need to get fluids in her. She did have a fever, which is starting to come down. We’re thinking it could be heat stroke, but we are running tests.” He scanned the room. “Is there a Bon-o here?”
“That’s me,” he stepped forward.
“She’s asking for you,” the doctor said.
Larry bristled. Adam placed his hand on his arm.
“Do you want to see her?” he asked.
“Of course,” he said eagerly. He moved away from Christy giving her a weak smile. “I’ll see how she is and be back.”
Larry went to speak, but Adam shook his head. “Just let him go for now.”
Bono followed the doctor down the hallway to a dimly lit room. Propped up in a hospital bed with tubes running in and out of her, was Faith. She looked so small and fragile – not like the powerhouse on the stage that he knew. There was a bandage on her forehead from her head hit the stage.
“She’s still really groggy. We’re keeping her mildly sedated. She has a decent concussion, so she might have some memory loss. Try to keep her quiet,” the doctor said lowly as he closed the door behind him.
He inched closer. He wanted to gather her up in his arms and take care of her. Quietly, he sat in the chair next to her. Her eyes were closed. She must have drifted off again when the doctor went to fetch him. He scooted the chair closer. The scraping on the floor woke her up.
“Hey beautiful,” he smiled.
“What happened?” she asked.
He brushed the hair off her forehead. “You passed out, love.”
She blinked. Her head felt heavy. She turned her head and winced. She touched her bandage. “I guess I hit my head.”
He nodded. “You have a mild concussion.”
She looked around. “What time is it?”
He flicked his wrist. “It’s about 10:30.”
She thought for a moment. “Wait….why aren’t you on stage?”
“Do you think I’d leave you in hospital and not know how you were?” he smiled.
“But the fans….” She started.
“Shh…we’ll reschedule. It will be okay. You just rest,” he soothed her.
“Did they tell you what it was?” she asked settling back against the pillow.
“Most likely dehydration. It was very hot today. We’ve done a brilliant job of running you into the ground,” he joked lightly.
She cracked a smile. “Where is everyone?”
“They’re all in the waiting room,” he said. “Do you want me to get someone? Alex? Larry?” His voice chilled a bit.
For a moment, she went back to her robotic thinking. She almost told him yes to get Larry, thus sending him back to Christy. She stared at him. “No. Please stay.” She grabbed his hand.
With a smile, he moved closer and enclosed her hand in his. He smoothed back her hair looking deep into her eyes. “Oh Faith, you scared me. I thought I lost you.”
She swallowed hard. “Just making sure you were paying attention.”
“Don’t scare me like that again. I love you,” he said.
She blinked back tears. “I heard you tell her that you loved her.”
He cocked his head. “Today?”
She nodded biting her lip. “I was looking for you and I overheard you tell her you loved her.” Her voice shook.
Everything was making sense. “I do, but not like this. Not like you.”
The tears fell over her flushed cheeks. “I screwed this up.”
“Shh, don’t cry. It’s going to be okay,” he wiped her cheeks. “Alex told me everything.”
“What?” the tears stopped.
“Don’t be mad. She did it out of love for you. She told me about Bradley and what you went through. Honey, I’d never hurt you. And if I knew that being with Christy caused you that much pain, I never would have done it. I thought you might be a little jealous, but not hurting this much,” he said. “I wish I could do this over again and do it differently. I would have told you I loved in Dublin. I would have fought harder for you.”
Everything in her ached. Her muscles felt like lead. “I do love you. I love you so much,” her voice was barely whisper. God it felt good to say it without fear. She could say it over and over. It didn’t fix everything.
“Faith, I love you too,” he kissed her dry lips.
“God, I look awful. This moment was supposed to go differently,” she said.
“You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve seen Faith Sullivan,” he pressed her hand to his face.
“You are such a liar,” she smiled.
He stared deep into her. “I’m not lying, love.”
The doctor walked back in. “Good evening, Faith. You look a little better.”
She nodded. “I do feel better.”
“Good,” he looked at Bono. “Are you family?”
Bono nodded. “I’m her boyfriend.” Faith was surprised by his pronouncement.
“Okay then. I’m Dr. Roberts. Dr. Ruiz took care of you when you first came in. Your friend Alex gave us your medical history.. First, you have some IVs of fluids because you were very dehydrated. We need to get you hydrated again. We ran some tests to see why this all happened and your white blood count was very high. Your body is trying hard to fight something. Knowing about the leukemia, we need to check that route first. It’s very rare it makes an appearance after so much time, but we want to be sure.” His voice was comforting. “Alex mentioned you’ve been tired lately.”
“We’ve been touring non-stop since April,” she nodded.
“That could be tough on a system that’s been compromised like yours at a young age,” Dr. Roberts said.Faith held Bono’s hand tightly. “I don’t want you to panic, but wanted to know what we were doing, okay?”She nodded. “So, I’m going to have the nurse come in and take some vitals. We’re going to do a quick scan on you.”
“Tonight?” she asked.
He nodded as he wrote on her chart. “Yeah, while the machine is free. Are you hungry?”
She thought about it. “Actually, I am.”
“Good,” he smiled. “When you are done, we’ll see about getting you some food, okay? Mr…” he looked a Bono.
“Ehm, Hewson,” Bono replied. “You can me Bono.”
“Okay, why don’t you go update your friends in the waiting room while we prep Faith,” he said.
“Can I go with her?” Bono asked.
“You can’t go in the room because of radiation, but you can watch from the room above,” Dr. Roberts said.
“I want to do that. Is that okay?” he looked at Faith.
She squeezed his hand. “Yes.”
“I’ll give you two a few moments, and the nurse will be in,” he smiled and left with her file.
Bono turned to her. “Okay, I’ll let them know what’s going on and be right back.”
“What about Larry and Christy?”
He shook his head. “You don’t worry about it right now. You just get better and let me take care of you, okay? Whatever comes, we deal it with it together.”
"I'll be right back," he kissed her.
Once outside her room, he steadied himself against the wall. The tears he felt but kept from her came freely.
"She'll be okay, Mr. Hewson," a nurse consoled him.
He nodded. "Thanks."
The nurse didn't know that his tears were a mix of fear and happiness. She loved him. He'd waited months to hear those words. He wished he could erase the last month. He wanted to take back each night he spent with Christy. He felt bad for her. Tonight, she told him that she loved him. And when he responded, he thought he was speaking from the heart. His world stopped when Faith fell to the stage. When she wouldn't wake up, he'd give everything he owned to see her smile again. When Alex told him Faith loved him, he hoped it wasn't too late. When she asked for him over everyone, his heart rejoiced. Now that they finally found each other, he was terrified that their time would be limited.
He offered the nurse a small smile. "Thanks." Wiping his eyes on his shirt, he pushed through the doors.
Alex was the first to rush over. "How is she? Did you talk to her?"
He caught her off guard by pulling her into a tight hug. "Thank you so much." He whispered. "She's awake."The group gathered around him expectantly. He didn't see Larry and no one offered up his whereabouts. "She didn't remember fainting but was worried about the fans."
Alex laughed. That was a good sign. "They are giving her fluids. They ran some tests and her white blood cells were high. They are going to do some kind of scan so make sure it's nothing serious. " He saw panic hit Alex's eyes. "But after that, they'll let her eat."
He felt Christy's eyes on him. She wrapped her arms around herself tightly. Something wasn't right about this. His eyes were different. What could have happened in that room?
"Do you think they'd let me see her?" ALEx asked.
He nodded. "I'm sure they would."
"Do you want something to eat? " Edge asked.
He shook his head. "No....." His eyes caught on Larry and Adam returning with coffees. He shoved the lump down in his throat.
Larry rushed over. "How is she?"
Dr. Roberts walked through the door. "Mr. Hewson, we're ready to take her up."
Bono nodded. "Okay. I'll be right in."
"Is that for scan?" Ryan asked. Bono nodded. "Do they think....."
"They want to be sure," Bono said gravely.
"What’s going on? What's wrong?" Larry started to panic.
Bono looked at Alex. "He still doesn't know?"
Alex shook her head. "I'll tell him. Go be with her."
He offered the group a weak smile before slipping through the doors again.
Larry stared feel hysterical. "Tell me what? Why the fuck is he going in and not me? I'm her fecking boyfriend!"
Edge rushed over. "Let's go outside."
"I'm coming too," Alex said.
Sam grabbed her arm. "What's going on?"
"Faith never told Larry about the cancer," she said.
Sam's eyes widened. "He didn't know?"
"I'm going to calm him down," she said.
Edge guided Larry outside. The Miami air was still oppressive. Larry shook Edge off. "What the fuck is going on?"
Alex took a deep breath. This was the other side she hadn't considered. Bono and Faith were finally together it seemed. But there was still Larry and Christy.
"When Faith was a teenager, she battled leukemia," Alex said.
Larry’s eyes popped open. "What? She never said anything. "
Alex nodded. "She didn't want anyone to know. She was afraid people would treat her like china."
"Is she currently undergoing treatment? " he found it hard to believe that he would have missed that.
"No, she's been in remission or cancer free for almost over 10 years. And she does get checked twice a year so that it can be caught early," Alex said.
Larry’s eyes darkened. "Is that why her mother left?"
Alex looked down. "She couldn’t deal with it."
"Jaysus," he shook his head. What mother would leave her sick child? And then to lose her the father that took care of her. "Does Bono know about this?"
She knew he'd get back to that. "He found out by accident. He asked where Faith went for hours at a time. Ryan told him."
"What do you mean 'go for hours at a time?'" Larry asked.
They waited as an ambulance wailed going by. "Faith goes to hospitals to visit children's cancer wards. She reads to them, sings to them, give them hope," Alex said. How did he not even notice as her boyfriend. Bono noticed before anything happened between them.
"You didn't notice she took off for a few hours?" Edge asked him.
"I may have noticed that but didn't question it. I like to take off by myself for a few hours," he shrugged. Suddenly, he felt like a shitty boyfriend. How did he not notice this? He was blissfully going along. She seemed fine, maybe tired. The last few days she seemed off, but when he asked if she was okay she said she was tired or not used to the heat. "Why wouldn't she tell me after we got together? "
"I have no idea. I don't understand what the block was," she shrugged.
Larry looked up at the sky. It was past midnight now. "Why is he in there?" Larry's voice was still.
Edge and Alex exchanged a quick glance. "He went with her to the hospital a few times. I think she confided in him about it."
Larry shoved his hands in his pocket. "He loves her, doesn't he?"
Edge sighed. "I believe so."
Larry felt his heart tighten. He tried to think back to Faith and Bono together. Did she love him? How could that even happen when they didn't spend time together.
"Now I need to find out why he was the first person she wanted to see. I get that it might not have been me. But I 'd expect Ryan or you," he pointed to Alex. He ran his hand over his head. "Not Bono."
"They were really good friends," Edge offered.
Larry glared at him. "Yes, but I'm her boyfriend. The one she loves, supposedly."
Edge felt awful. By helping Bono he had betrayed Larry. "I'm sure that she does." He honestly didn't know what was in Faith's head. He figured that she must have loved him to be with him for the last few months. She did seem happy around him.
"I'm going for a walk," Larry felt restless. He needed to think alone. Edge looked at him in pity like he somehow knew that Larry's relationship was over Larry did.
Edge looked around. "I don't think that's a good idea. I'm not sure how the area is. You should take Dave with you at least."
"I need to be alone. I won't go far and I'm not stupid. I just need some air," He didn't give them another moment to protest before he took off across the street.
"Will he be okay?" Alex asked.
Edge scratched his chin. "I hope so. Things are going to be tense on the tour for awhile. But I fully believe that things are now right."
"You know, I do too," she nodded. "This feels right."
He looked at her. "How are you doing? I know she's your best friend."
"She's like a sister. I'm scared. I wish I intervened sooner. I noticed that she was run down at the end of the European tour. Even in the studio...but she'd have these bursts of energy and I'd think everything was okay. The last week, I thought it was depression. But now, maybe it was something worse," She bit her lip. "I'm scared."
He pulled her into his arms. "It will be fine. She's strong. She's survived cancer once, losing a mother, burying a father, dating a drug addict....and I heard that at night she beats up bad guys."
Alex laughed into his chest. "Well she does box."
He squeezed her. Now that he fixed Bono's love life, he had to look at his own.After another terrible fight with Morleigh, he wondered if it was worth it. Sure, when they were together, it was wonderful. But she was focused living in the now. She wasn't ready to be a mom or a step-mom. Alex knew she should leave his arms. Her future husband was close by. She saw first hand what this kind of thing led to. But it felt so comforting being rocked by him.
Christy’s eyes were glazed over as she watched the evening news. Faith’s collapse made the last news bit of the day because the concert was cancelled. Somehow, the news channel acquired amateur video of the moment she fell. It was scary. One minute, she was standing next to the piano – the next slumped to the ground. She saw Bono be the first one at her side – even before her own bandmates. Adam sat beside her watching them replay that moment over and over.
“I wasn’t on stage when it happened. Seeing it here, it is pretty frightening,” Adam sighed.
“I should have known,” Christy said.
Adam looked over. “Know….?”
“He’s in love with her. Look at his face when he runs to her. All the way to the hospital and even sitting here, he was lost in his own head. It was like I wasn’t here. And I get that it’s not about me. But looking in his eyes, I know. Maybe I should have seen it sooner. I knew they were close, I didn’t know how close until tonight,” she wanted to cry, but there were no tears. She said she loved him. She believed that she did. But looking in his face after seeing Faith, she knew that’s what love looked and felt like.
“You know, right before Larry and Faith got together, I wondered if something had started with Bono and Faith. They were together a lot. They just had this chemistry. So, I was surprised when Larry and Faith started dating,” he rubbed his chin. “But I don’t think I noticed anything until tonight. I wonder how Larry feels.”
Christy smiled weakly. “I think I have an idea.”
Adam gave her hand a squeeze. “Maybe it’s not what we think.”
She laughed. “Oh, I have a feeling it’s more than we think. There were times when I thought maybe he was distracted. Maybe it was Ali he was thinking of. I see now, it was Faith. You know, I thought he looked at her differently. You’re right….the energy was different. Maybe I didn’t want to see it.”
Adam rubbed his eyes. It was almost midnight. This would be messier before it was over. He looked over at Ryan and Sam. Ryan looked terrible. Faith was a sister to him.
Adam walked over. “How are you guys holding up?”
“Nervous,” Ryan said.
“Did I hear Alex say cancer?” he asked.
Sam looked over at Ryan. “I think it’s stupid to keep it secret anymore.”
Ryan nodded. He told the story of Faith has cancer as a child and how Bono had come to find out. Christy knew it was time to leave. She didn’t need to hear it from Bono.
She touched Adam’s arm. “I’m tired. I’m going to go.”
“Do you want me to tell Bono you’ll be back at the room?” he asked.
She had forgotten that her room had been his room. “No, I’m moving hotels. I’m leaving tomorrow. I think it’s best that way.”
Adam hugged her. “I’m sorry Christy.”
She smiled weakly. “It’s okay. I think I got in the way of what was supposed to happen.” She remembered the strange exchange she had with Faith on the dance floor at Adam’s wedding. Faith told her to be good to him. Christy now recognized the sadness in her voice. “We’ll talk soon.”
Finally at 2:30 in the morning, Faith was able to have dinner. She felt as if she hadn’t eaten in weeks. Thinking back, she really hadn’t. She was sore from the fall and being poked and prodded since coming in. The scan was inconclusive, so a bone marrow biopsy was performed. She hated those. No matter how much anesthesia was given, she always felt the needle penetrate her bone. It had been years since she had one of those. This time, instead of holding her father’s hand, she held Bono’s hand. Strangely enough, both men had the same fear in their eyes as they watched. After her soup and grilled cheese for Bono, she felt tired but restless. She wondered how the waiting room was faring – more importantly Larry and Christy. She knew she’d have to talk to him at some point. What was she going to say? How would this affect U2?
Bono’s eyes felt heavy, but the testing had unnerved him. She was here holding his hand tightly. They would leave this hospital together – hand in hand. There was no way he was letting go now. He was ready for the shitstorm to follow. He tried to ready himself for whatever the testing found. They’d fight this together. Faith flipped through the 10 stations the hospital on their cable. She found a rebroadcast of the news.
“Should you update them?” she asked Bono.
“The next time the nurse comes in, I’ll ask if she will let them know or has updated them. I have a feeling that if I went out there right now, it could get ugly,” he said.
“I have a feeling it will be ugly for awhile,” she sighed. “I was confused when I started seeing Larry. I should have known. I let it get too far.”
“You thought he was the one. I wasn’t the most stable choice at the time. I really can’t blame you for running away,” he looked deeply into her eyes. “But I’m here for good. And I am not letting you run away again.”
“I don’t want to run,” she said.
He leaned over and kissed her the way he’d dreamt of kissing her for weeks. Slowly and passionately. He couldn’t wait until she was out of that hospital bed and in his. There would be no sneaking away the following morning.
“I missed you. Even just talking with you. I hated that we weren’t getting along. I knew that whatever I was doing with Christy was fucking that up, but I was so lonely. I knew Larry had you every night and it killed me,” he buried his face in her neck.
“It’s over now. Can you move on knowing I was with Larry?” she blushed.
“Maybe. One question. Am I better?” a small smile played on his lips.
“You cannot tell him this, but yes. Oh my God yes!” she laughed.
“Same for you. I just closed my eyes and thought of you,” he said.
‘The U2 concert tonight was postponed due to a medical emergency. Faith Sullivan of the opening band Strict Machine, collapsed on stage. We received this video of the show from a viewer,’ the newscaster said.
“Oh shit,” Faith moaned. There to relive in Technicolor was her embarrassing fall. She watched as Bono was the first at her side from clear across the opposite side of the stage. The shaky camera zoomed in on his face, and she saw the sheer terror. “You were quick. It looks scary watching it like this. It’s like having an outer body experience on TV.”
His face was serious. “I don’t think I’ve ever been that frightened. Do you remember anything?”
“I had been feeling off for days, but I wasn’t sleeping or eating. A few days ago, I broke down and confessed to Alex about you. She told me I needed to talk to you. I tried to get you alone, but you were always with Christy. I thought I had my chance this afternoon. Then,” he voice broke. “I heard you tell her you loved her. I…I…I lost it. I saw you kissing from my piano. I don’t know…the heat…not eating…seeing that….I went to go to the mic and that’s all I remember.”
He kissed her hand. “I’m so sorry. If I knew that, I’d never….I could only think of getting to you. When you wouldn’t wake up, I died inside.”
“I feel much better. I’m tired and sore, but much better,” she squeezed his hand.
“You have some color back,” his eyes clouded over. “I wonder when we find out about the test.”
“Soon, I hope.” She said worry creeping in.
He touched her cheek. “Whatever it is, we will handle it together. You and I are a team now. We’ve wasted enough time and I won’t waste anymore.”
She nodded. He cleared her plates. Being the lead singer of had its perks. Most visitors would be tossed out. He was allowed to stay the night. He crawled inside her hospital bed to hold her. She curled up and fell asleep on his chest, listening to the rhythm of his heart.
The nurse knocked lightly on the door. “Excuse me, Bono?”
He looked over. She smiled as she saw Faith curled up in his arms. “Is this okay?” He whispered.
“Yes, as long as she’s comfortable. She needs her sleep. I came in because there’s an Edge outside that wanted to speak to you?” she asked.
“Sure, let him in,” Bono said.
Edge nodded to the nurse as he walked in the room. He smiled at the scene before him. It was as if it was all worth it so see him at peace for the first time in years. “Hey...” He inched closer.
“Hey, what time is it?” Bono blinked.
“It’s almost 3:30. The nurse came out and updated us. I think we’re all calling it a night. Everyone’s exhausted,” he said lowly.
“God yes. I’m surprised you’re all still here,” Bono said.
“Chrsity left around midnight,” Edge said.
Bono ran a hand over his face. “I need to talk to her.”
“She told Adam that she was leaving tomorrow. I think she figured it out,” Edge said.
“I never expected this,” Bono said. “I wish it happened differently. I will try to call her in a few days to apologize. I shouldn’t have brought her into this.”
“How were you to know it would end like this?” Edge shrugged.
“Is Larry still here?” Bono asked. That was the one he was worried about.
Edge shook his head. “He wanted to stay. Adam convinced him to get some sleep. They left a few minutes ago. You’ll have to deal with him tomorrow.”
Bono nodded. “I know. How is he? Edge, you know I never set out to hurt him. I couldn’t be honorable anymore and just sit back. She’s in my blood.”
“I know. I think he knows too, but he loves her too. Imagine how he feels to be worried about her and not see her. And have your best mate being the one she asked for....” Edge sighed. “He’s having a rough time too.”
“I know, I know. This has been a weird day. Almost stranger than the day Ali told me she wanted a divorce. I saw that coming. This,” he glanced down at Faith sleeping. “I did not. I really never thought I’d be here again.”
“She looks much better. She looks happy,” Edge smiled.
“I think we both are. I’m not letting her go this time,” he said.
“Do you need anything?” Edge asked.
“I have everything I need right here,” he smiled as he pulled her closer.
Edge envied Bono for a moment. Sure, he and Faith would have to deal with the fallout, but they were happy wrapped in each other’s arms.
“Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow,” Edge said. “I’m glad she’s doing better. Any word on the testing?”
“Hopefully tomorrow. Thanks. I’ll let her know you were asking for her. Tell Alex, she’s in good hands,” he said.
Edge smiled. “She knows.”
Larry stared out the window watching the Miami streets whizz by. Last night, he tossed and turned. He watched the news and saw those horrifying moments play over and over. On the local station. The national morning show. MTV and VH1. It never failed to shock him as he watched her crumple. Then Bono rushing to her side and his face. He knew Bono had wanted her. Larry toyed with the idea that maybe his feelings went a little deeper. Those concerns disappeared when Christy entered the scene. Larry knew that things didn't go smoothly with Faith. No he understood why. There had been a third person with them. Had they kissed? Had they done more? Was it before or during? Those duets were not an act. He shook his head. She hated Bono. How did this happen? When he woke, he looked over at the space she use to sleep. He had no idea that yesterday would be the last morning.
Bono sat on the hospital bed listening to the shower. It was wrong to want to join her. He half considered it, then pictured getting caught by a nurse. Alex brought by some of Faith's clothes and she was anxious to get into something that closed in the back. After breakfast, she returned to Faith. Her cheeks were flushed. Her quick wit had returned. She was eager to get out and back on tour. They were still running tests. They started antibiotics thinking that whatever was going on might be viral. She slept soundly in his arms while he dozed on and off. He couldn't believe she was with him. The other half of him was terrified to lose her again. He was actually worried about her talking with Larry. What is he convinced her to stay with him? Larry was the one she wanted first.
"Excuse me, there are some people here to Faith," she said. The staff had been wonderful to him. They included him on everything. They checked with him when visitors arrived.
"She's in the shower," he said.
"I can stay while you see your friends," she smiled.
It was probably Larry. He had dreaded this since he saw Larry’s face when he went to talk to the group. He nodded. It needed to be done.
Taking a deep breath, Bono steeled himself for the wrath of Larry. He pushed to the waiting room which was no longer private to them. He saw an older couple in the corner. A few others milled about. He was greeted by Larry’s cold glare. Edge stepped around him.
"How is she this morning?" He hugged Bono.
"She's good. Almost back to normal. She's still tired. They started her on antibiotics and she's still on fluids. She looks loads better," his eyes didn't leave Larry.
Larry stood with his arms crossed in front of his chest. “So you stayed all night, I gather.”
Bono gave a quick nod. “ I did.”
“I want to see her,” Larry said.
“She’s showering now,” Bono glared.
“I can wait,” Larry stood his ground.
Edge moved between them. “Don’t either of you start. This is a hospital. For Faith’s sake, you both need to stand down.” He looked at Bono. “He has every right to see her.” He turned to Larry. “And don’t you upset her.”
They both looked like scolded children. “I’ll see if she’s out.” Bono turned on his heels. So far, no punches had been thrown. That was a good sign. Slowly, Bono pushed open the cracked door to see Faith sitting on the bed dressed in sweatpants and t-shirt. The nurse finished reconnecting the last of her IVs. A stand with 3 bags hung beside Faith.
“You look refreshed,” he smiled.
The nurse excused herself to get some juice for Faith.
Faith looked at Bono in his rumpled pre-show clothes. “You’re next.”
“I wish I could have joined you,” his voice dropped.
She smirked. “Soon. Soon.”
They stared at each other hungrily for a moment. Both could not wait until this was behind them and they could really be alone together.
He sat beside her on the bad and took her hand. “Faith, Larry is here to see you.”
She nodded. “I knew he’d come back. I have to talk to him.”
“What are you going to say?” he asked.
She shook her head. “I don’t know. I’m sorry, I guess.”
He looked her directly in the eye. “Are you positive that you want to be with me? I mean, you know I have the girls….”
“I’m very sure. Last night was the first time I felt at peace in a very long time. I know you have the girls and they are a huge part of your life. And if you want me to be, I’ll be a part of their lives too,” she said.
His heart melted again. He felt incredibly blessed at the moment. “They ask about you. They ask when they’ll see the cool lady again.”
Faith smiled. His love for his girls was very attractive. “Good. I was fearing a Morleigh situation.”
“I love Morleigh, but I get the sense that she doesn’t try with Edge’s girls. There was friction from the start. Jordan and Eve think you’re pretty cool, so we have that going for us,” he winked. “Oh Faith, I love you. It feels good to be able to say that to you.”
“I know. I’ve been pushing it down for so long,” she sighed pressing her forehead against his. “You should let Larry in.”
“I don’t want to,” he said. “Can we just stay here like this?”
“You need to talk to Christy and I need to talk to Larry,” Faith said sitting back against the pillows.
“She left, Christy. Edge told me last night. I guess my feelings were fairly transparent when you fell ill,” he said.
“Wow….how noble of her,” Faith mused sarcastically.
Bono nodded. “We’d dated for just a few weeks. I think we were 2 lonely people – and in my case , jealous and hurting…”
“The night you told me you loved me, I thought it. I did. Part of me wanted to say it back. I just couldn’t. I had so much baggage and I was involved with Larry,” she said.
“I know I put a lot on you that night. I did think you might come around sooner,” he teased.
She laughed. “Well, I wanted to give you time to have a last hurrah before settling down.”
His laugh filled the room. “So this fainting thing was all a ruse to bring me to my senses, right?”
She touched the bandage on her forehead. “Yes, I just took it too seriously and really fell.”
His eyes trailed over the bags of fluid filling her veins to make her better. “Let’s NOT do that again. You have my undivided attention.”
He kissed her. It was meant to be a sweet kiss, but she pulled him closer. She knew she was feeling better as a hunger rose up inside her. His own control was starting to slip as she teased his mouth. Reluctantly, he pulled away chuckling.
“As a rock star, I get away with a lot. Somehow I think that would be frowned upon,” he said.
“I can’t wait to get sprung from here. It’s been too long,” her eyes smoldered.
He swallowed hard. “Yes it has been too long.” Once she was out of the hospital, and properly well, he envisioned them holing up in a room for at least 24 hours rediscovering all that they left behind.
“Hey, are you decent?” Edge called as tapped on the door.
Bono looked over his shoulder to see Alex, Edge and Larry gathered in the doorway.
“Yes, come in,” Faith called. Seeing Larry made the butterflies turn to vultures in her stomach. His face was a mixture of anger and pain.
Alex ran over and hugged Faith tightly. “Jesus, you gave us a scare.”
“I know, I feel really foolish for doing that,” she blushed.
“How do you feel?” she asked.
Bono scooted off the bed to give Alex space. He stood against the wall glaring back at Larry.
“Tired, but much better. I’m sore from the fall and being poked and prodded all last night,” she yawned.
“Did you get some sleep?” Alex asked.
“When they weren’t checking on me, yes. I’m sorry about the show. Tell the guys I’m sorry for screwing it up,” Faith said.
“Are you kidding? You were sick. You couldn’t control it,” Alex gasped.
“There’s nothing to apologize for, Faith,” Edge stepped forward. “We were the ones that decided to not go on.”
“Yeah, but it was because of me,” she protested.
“We’re family,” Edge cast a gaze at Larry and Bono. “And we take care of each other.”
Alex couldn’t love him more if she tried. She had a full understanding of the stress Faith felt.
Faith’s eyes watered a little as she looked at Larry for the first time. As soon as he looked in her eyes, his face softened. The air was heavy in the room. Everyone held their collective breath.
“Larry,” she said quietly. “Are you okay?”
He rushed to her side so swiftly, Bono flinched. Larry sat on the edge of the bed. “How are you?” He took both her hands in his.
Edge motioned to Bono to leave the room. Bono didn’t want to leave. He looked down at Faith and Larry. Edge took his arm. “Come on. I’ll buy you a cup of shitty coffee.”
Faith nodded to Bono. “It’s okay.”
With a terse nod, he left with Alex and Edge. He leaned against the wall outside her room.
“Give them some time,” Edge implored.
“I’m staying here in case he upsets her,” B shrugged.
“He won’t change her mind,” Alex said. “She loves you.”
There was still a small seed of doubt in his mind. He felt very protective of what they had now. It had been less than 24 hours since they openly declared their love. It felt fragile.
“Come on. It will be okay,” Edge pushed B towards the waiting room. “You haven’t left her side since the fall.”
Bono let himself be dragged away from her room.
Larry listened to the voices to be gone. “How are you?” His fingers brushed the bandage on her head.
“I’m okay. I’m better. I’m still pretty tired,” she said.
“You gave us all a scare,” Larry buried his head in her hands. “Why didn’t you tell me about your cancer?”
“I don’t know. I thought you might look at me differently. I had a big hang up about it. The more people that knew, the better the chance it would get out. I didn’t want that to be the focal point of the band. You know how the media circus is,” she said.
There was silence as Larry thought of his next words. He wanted to beg her to stay with him, to tell her that he loved her too.
“This is all my fault. I messed this up the night I kissed you and bolted. I pushed you right into his arms,” he sighed. She never looked at him the same after that night.
“Larry, I….” she didn’t know what to say. Yes, she loved Larry – but it was very different than the way she loved Bono.
“I wish I could go back and change that night. Maybe you’d be asking me to stay with you instead,” he said sullenly. His eyes burned with something and it was probably the most passion she had ever seen from him.
She started to cry. “I’m so sorry Larry. This was never supposed to happen.”
“I know, I know,” he hated Bono at the moment. “I don’t even think I want to know how it happened.” He wiped her eyes with his thumbs. “Or when.” The look in her eyes told him it was better to not know everything.
“I’m sorry for ruining your life,” she sniffled.
He took her face in his hands. “Darlin’, you didn’t ruin my life.”
“But you left Ann for me,” she said.
“Yes and no. It was time for me to leave Ann. That relationship had run its course. She wanted to get married and I honestly don’t think I believe in it. She wanted kids and I’m not sure right now. So while it looked like I was leaving her for you, I did it for her and I. Leaving her meant I could finally pursue you,” he said. “I have a feeling that I interrupted something now.”
“But I’ve messed up you and Bono,” she looked down at her hands fiddling with a piece of gauze.
“I’ll admit that I’m pissed at him. I’m raged at him and I don’t even know why. It wasn’t a secret that he fancied you at the start of the tour. It was a joke. We all had a laugh. Something changed though. I know you got close when his da died, and maybe that was the moment,” he searched for a confirmation to his claim.
“I guess that was a pretty intense time. Tragedy brings people together in ways they don’t understand,” she said quietly remembering that first desperate night. She was so worried that she had ruined things with Larry and in a way, she had. After Bono had his hands on her, she was never the same again.
“I guess I’m pissed because even after you and I got together, I got the sense that he never let go. That you still belonged to him and he was going to win you,” he looked down. “And he did.”
“I don’t think anyone really ‘won’ out of this,” Faith touched his hand.
“You did love me, right?” he looked up.
“Of course I do,” her voice was soft and tender.
Larry brushed her cheek as he pressed his lips on hers. He had to try one more time to reclaim her. Once she had chosen Larry over Bono. Maybe he could change her mind. It was a sweet kiss but something was missing – and it had since their first kiss. His heart sunk knowing that this was in part his fault. He left the door open for Bono who took her heart. Slowly, he pulled away.
“I wish to fuck it was me, Faith,” he whispered. He moved away before he did something stupid. “Bono and I will be okay. We’ve fought before – not over a woman – usually songs or stage concepts. I don’t want you to beat yourself up over this or make yourself any sicker. Promise me one thing.”
“What’s that?” she asked.
“If he fucks up in anyway, you give me another go,” he smiled devilishly.
“Lawrence,” she gasped and hit his arm.
“I’m dead serious,” he laughed.
“Okay, okay,” Faith knew Bono would never let that happen.
“Also, you decide to take a lover, consider me,” he grinned. Inside he felt awful. His face serious. “I don’t imagine I can change your mind and have you stay with me?”
Faith bit her lip. “Larry, I don’t want to hurt you…but I love him.”
That was the dagger in his heart. He had asked for it. He needed to hear her say it. With one look, he knew it to be true.
He sniffed as he got off the bed. “I understand. Well, I don’t because I’m better looking, but…” he teased. “Okay, I’m going to go. Can I come back later to see you?”
“Of course you can,” she said. Her heart died a little inside too. For 2 months, he made her feel safe. His sad eyes tore at her. But it had to be done. Staying with Larry was not the answer for any of them.
“All right. I’m going to punch out your new boyfriend,” he flashed a smile. “Just messin’ with ya….sort of.”
Deep down, she knew it would all work out somehow.
Bono twiddled a stirrer in his fingers as he watched the door. He hopped up when Larry came through. They stood almost chest to chest. Both Adam and Edge scrambled to their feet in case a punch was tossed.
“You are a lucky tosser, you know that?” Larry growled. Bono said nothing. His jaw hardened as he stared at the drummer. “I’ll be waiting for you to feck it up. And when you do, I’ll be there.”
“You’ll die alone waiting for that to happen,” B hissed.
Paul stepped forward. “Boys. This is a hospital. Respect that.” They each took a step back. “We need to discuss the rest of this tour and possibly replacing Strict Machine.”
“Wait a minute, Paul,” Bono said.
Larry joined him. “Aren’t you jumping the gun?”
Alex and Ryan also rushed over. Bono stopped them. “What are you on about?”
“I just want to make sure that they can finish the tour. I don’t want to stress Faith. I want to let her have time to get better,” Paul said. “We need to think of a back-up plan.”
“It hasn’t even been 24 hours. Our next date is 5 days away which will give her plenty of time to rest,” Bono narrowed his eyes. “This isn’t about anything else is it?”
“As long as everyone is on stage and relatively healthy, I’m not here to judge. Based on what happened last night, I need to think of contingency plans.” Paul said.
“We’ve all seen Faith and she is much better,” Larry said.
“We’re just waiting for some test results. I’ll see if I can find a doctor to get things moving along,” Bono knew that Faith would flip her lid if she knew that Paul was thinking of replacing them.
“Excuse me,” the woman who had been sitting in the corner approached Bono. He figured that he would get recognized.
“Yes,” he smiled sweetly. There something about her eyes.
“Did I hear you say Faith?” the woman asked.
Bono looked at Alex questioningly. “Maybe?”
“Faith Sullivan from that band?” the woman was persistent.
“Can I help you with something?” B asked cocking his head to the side.
“I’m Faith’s mother, Patty,” the woman said nervously.
Poor baby.
I like how both he and Christy came to the realization that Faith + Bono were kind of inevitable, but that doesn't make it any easier on them.
