GraceRyan
Rock n' Roll Doggie FOB
I'm back. Most of this was written on my phone since last weekend was Marathon weekend. I'm happy to report that with the help of a few U2 songs (Mofo, The Cry/Electric Co from Boston 1983, Running to Stand Still/Where the Streets Have No Name) I completed the Boston Marathon. Now I can get back to writing.....
This is fiction. Take it for what you will.
YouTube - Mazzy Star Still Cold
You really had a million hearts to break
Now it's time that I never left you in the moonlight
How comes always someone else driving your car
Taking you different places in the sunlight
Still cold like the stars
That's just the way you are
Still cold like the stars
You used to say your heart felt like a stone
Now everything you ever wanted is your own
Still cold like the stars
That's just the way you are
Still cold like the stars
Strict Machine hovered at the front of the plane leaving the members of u2 to the back. Everyone spoke in hushed voices as they prepared for the days ahead. Faith curled in the corner looking at the never ending floor of gray clouds. She was not looking forward to any of this. She had to face Ann and Ali. Hi, I've slept with your ex-husband and kissed your boyfriend. I'm the band tart, she thought ruefully. It was clear Larry didn't want her along. He had nothing to fear. She wouldn't even look at him. Bono did want her there and that concerned her too. Was it because they were friends? Because she knew what he was going through? What did he think last night was about? She was certain that once he got what he wanted, he'd move on. Would the flirting stop? Would it be obvious if it did? He head ached from lack of sleep. She had no idea what to expect in the next few days.
Ali waited in the car for Bono on the tarmac. As the door opened, she slipped out of the backseat. Paul and Sheila were the first to descend the stairs. Bono slipped on his glasses as he squinted against the bright sky. He saw Ali. He wondered if she'd be here. She had loved Bob like her own father. She crossed to greet him with a hug.
"I'm so sorry," she squeezed him tightly.
"Thank you for coming," he kissed her cheek. "Where are the girls? How are they?"
"They are at my mother's. They are handling it quite well. They're sad, but they know he went to heaven," she said. "How are you?"
"I'm okay for now. I know the hard part is to come." He held her hand. She came for him.
The rest of the band filed in behind him and hugged Ali. Her eyes focused of a group of strangers looking a bit dazed as they walked down the stairs.
"Who are they?" She asked. They didn't look like crew or management.
"Oh, that's Strict Machine. They've been touring with is since April," suddenly he felt guilty as he watched Faith descend from the plane. He knew he shouldn't. It's not like he was unfaithful. Maybe just to the memory of their marriage.
"Is it strange for them to be here?" She cocked her head.
He shrugged. "We've become pretty good friends with them. Come on, let's go see the girls."
Hand in hand, they walked to the car.
Faith watched them leave. Perhaps this would bring them back together. Tragedy had a way of changing things. She'd be happy for him if happened. She saw pain tear through his eyes when he talked about Ali. Granted, it happened less and less lately.
Larry fell in step beside her as they walked towards a fleet of cars waiting for them. She didn't even glance sideways. He was filled with an overwhelming desire to take her hand feeling like the most natural thing to do. As his arm brushed hers, she flinched but did not take eyes off the ground as she walked. He wanted to tell her that he was still confused, but what purpose would that serve?
"Guess we'll see you later?" He mumbled.
She nodded. "Guess so. I have no idea what the plan is or where we're going." She looked around her hopelessly.
Edge walked over. "I'm coming with you to get you settled into the Clarence. Then we'll get you some proper clothes."
For a moment, Alex was overjoyed he was coming, but being sandwiched between Sam and Edge was torture. The hairs on his arm tickled her forearm. A shock race through her body as his leg pressed against her. All the while, Sam's thumb traced the back of her hand as the conversation swirled over her head. She concentrated on breathing. It couldn't be that long of a ride, could it?
Norman had planned a small wake the following afternoon for close friends and family. Bono didn't have much choice after giving Norman all the control. He regretted that. Norman believed that Bob wouldn't want a bunch of people he didn't know standing around his body chatting politely. Let the funeral be the party.
Ali stood by Bono side during the calling hours. She held his hand and rubbed his back as tears welled and fell. She was his strength. He was so relieved to not have to go through this alone. It was nice having her by his side again - almost like old times. Periodically, his kissed the back of her hand affectionately. She smiled at him warmly. After a dinner with family and close friends, Bono hoped she would invite him back to his house. Maybe she would hold him all night and make him feel safe. She kissed his cheek.
"Edge, you make certain he gets a good night sleep and doesn't stay up drinking," she looked at him tenderly. "I'll come by in the morning to collect you with the girls."
“Do you have to go?” he pleaded.
She nodded. “I do. I have to get the girls and get some rest. We’ve a long day tomorrow.”
He flashed the grin that used to make her knees buckle. “One more drink.”
“I have to drive. Good night,” And she was gone.
Now he felt more alone than before. Under Ali's strict orders, he had one more glass of wine before loading himself into the elevator. For a moment, he wondered where Faith's room was. He shook that thought from his head. It was Ali he missed right now. He couldn’t use Faith like that. Once inside his hotel room, he kicked off his boots. He couldn’t believe he was home and staying in hotel. It didn’t matter that he owned the damned thing. He walked in circles in his suite for what seemed forever. When he was tired of walking, he scrawled lyrics on the hotel stationary. Bored with that, he flopped in the middle of a huge bed and scrolled through the channels. Finally, his eyes closed and he slept fully clothed on top of the covers.
Sam was fast asleep as Alex stared at the ceiling. He asked her to stay with him and she took her pent up energy from the afternoon car ride out on him. He didn't mind. It had been awhile since they made love that passionately. He would mind if he knew that Alex squeezed her eyes shut and imagined Edge was under her. Now, she wanted to leave his bed. Carefully, she slipped off the side. Sam shifted and picked his head up off the pillow.
“Where are you going?” he yawned.
“To maybe get something to eat. I’m starving,” she slipped on her jeans.
“Do you want me to come with you?” he asked.
“No, you get some rest,” she leaned over and kissed him.
“OKay, come back soon,” he rolled over to face the wall.
Alex needed a cigarette and a drink - she wasn’t sure which she needed first. The drink called to her as she passed the bar. She expected to see Bono in here. Her heart jerked at the sight of Edge sitting at the bar reading a book. She hung in the entrance for a moment deciding if she should take that first step in - towards him. Her body moved her forward to the stool beside him.
“Fancy meeting you here,” she said.
He started from his deep concentration. “Hey,” he looked at his watch. “It’s a bit late, huh?”
“I could say the same for you,” she nudged him. The bartender walked over. She pointed to Edge’s glass.
“I couldn’t sleep,” he closed his book. “I grew up with Bob too. It makes you think of the mortality of your own parents. It’s hard to see Bono go through this alone.”
“Well, Ali was there today,” she said.
Edge nodded. “I’m afraid that will give him a false sense of hope. He started this tour in such a bad place. He’s just starting to come of it, you know? He was more like the Bono I know. Was it having something else to focus on? Was it....” he looked at Alex. “well...you know.....He’s always in a good mood around her.”
“If she has anything to do with it, she doesn’t know it,” Alex defended.
“Oh, I know that. It’s just nice to see him enjoying himself. Even if nothing comes of him and Faith, he enjoys her company,whatever that means,” Edge smiled. “Which makes him easier to be around for the rest of us.”
“The divorce was bad, huh?” she sipped her drink.
“Divorce is for the most part, right?” He thought of his own. “But for Bono, it was devastating. He loved Ali completely. She was his soulmate. They’d been together since 14. She was his enter and core. He could spin of control and she’d reel him back in. I love him, but he needs a grounded woman to keep him even.”
“So you think there’s no reconciliation in their future?” Alex asked.
“I don’t think so. I hope not. I love Ali....but too much has happened. I don’t think it’d be the same,” he said.
“When’s Morleigh coming in?” She asked casually.
His mouth drew into a straight line. “She’s not.”
“Oh,” Alex said. She wanted to ask why.
After staring at his drink for a moment, he cleared his throat. “She’s in Asia. She has a show tomorrow and can’t get away. I understand that.”
Alex placed her hand on his arm. “I’m sorry. This must be hard for you.”
His eyes held on her hand resting on his arm. “It is. I loved Bob too.”
“If you need anything. I know I’m a poor substitution for Morleigh,” she offered.
His eyes moved to her face. “I wouldn’t say that.” Her hazel eyes were wide as they peered up at him. She was meaning a lot more to him than she should. Her boyfriend was asleep upstairs, yet he wanted to take her smooth face in his hands and kiss her hard. “Thank you.”
Feeling the heat in the moment, Alex moved her hand. He could still feel the tingling on his arm. If just a small touch made him react this way, what could her entire body to him. He shuddered at the thought.
Her eyes pleaded to him silently, let me go upstairs and comfort you with my kisses. Her breath quickened at the mere thought of running her hands across his body.
He cleared his throat. “Sam asleep?”
“Yes,” she looked at her drink.
“How long have you been together?” he asked.
“On and off for 3 years,” she said. She didn’t want to talk about Sam.
“On and off?” he raised his eyebrows.
She shrugged. “It’s not easy being in a relationship and a band with someone.”
“I honestly cannot imagine,” he chuckled.
“Yes, now I understand when Faith warned me,” she laughed.
Edge wanted to ask more. Was she unhappy with Sam? Did she think of him as much as he thought of her?
“He seems like good guy,” he felt he had to say that.
“Oh, he is. A nice guy,” she found herself lost in his kind eyes. “I just wonder if that’s enough.”
This was getting dangerous, Edge thought. Her body language was inviting him closer. He so longed to move in and taste her. Morleigh and Sam crossed his mind. They would be hurting two people.
He looked at his watch. “I should get to sleep. It’s a long day tomorrow.”
Alex nodded. “Yeah, me too.” She knew Sam was sound asleep. A part of her wanted to crawl into her own room for the night.
“Thank you for checking in on me,” Edge slid off his stool to wrap his arms around Alex. The scruff of his cheek scratched hers. With a deep breath, she took in scent to remember for the night. She didn’t want to let go as she pressed into him. She heard his breath catch. He wanted her too. She could feel it. Quickly, he moved away. “Goodnight Alexandra.”
She loved the way he said her full name. It was sensual and made her even hungrier for him.
“Goodnight Edge. Sleep well,” she nodded. She watched him slip into the night without a backward glance. If he did, he wouldn’t be alone tonight.
The morning of Bob's funeral was cloudy after raining all night. The streets were wet under the feet of the mourners as they walked up a hill to the church. The Hewson's were a united family that morning holding on to one another’s hand. Bono was already exhausted after a restless nights sleep. His dreams kept him tossing with Ali and Faith dancing through his mind. His dreams of Ali left him sad and confused ; of Faith turned on and confused. Gavin and Guggi waited at the top of the hill. They wrapped their arms around him as he approached.
Larry and Ann walked from their car to the church. It had been a tense morning between them. Since entering the house, he had been quiet. Even at the wake, he was distracted. Ann knew this was hard on him too. Bono and Larry grew up practically brothers. He'd known Bob most his life. The whole band were touched by his passing. She wondered if he was thinking of his mother. It had been almost 20 years. She left him alone hoping he'd come to her when he was ready. The whole ride to the church neither of them spoke.
Her eyes caught on some familiar faces. What were they doing here? She wondered.
"Did he invite them?" She asked.
He knew this was coming. He had been spared at the wake. "Sheila thought it was important for Bono to have the support. "
That the end of that. It took everything for him to not twist his head in Faith's direction. Since their kiss weeks ago, she had kept her distance from him. At first, he was relieved but he missed her. Ann's hand gripped his tightly, possessively.
"Bono, how are you?" She asked as they joined friends gathered around him.
He nodded slightly. "I'm doing okay. I wonder if the old man ordered up this weather."
Edge, alone, crossed the wet grass to the church. Alex longed to rush by his side to comfort him. What was Morleigh thinking leaving him to go through this alone? Bob wasn't his father, but theycwere all so close. His eyes caught on hers and last nights burning reignited. He looked away as Sam wrapped his arm around Alex’s shoulders.
"We should head inside," Faith said. She looped her arm around Ryan's. This would be hard without all their weird drama. It was the first funeral since her dad's. Today, she felt his loss to her very core. The whole day she was having flashbacks to her fathers. John and Faith were surrounded by extended family. Though they huddled close together they could hear the voices.
"It's terrible. Now it's just the two of them."
"Has anyone tried to contact Pat?"
"Tragic. To beat cancer and lose your dad to it."
Hearing their pity didn't make it easier. Faith knew how much it sucked to be her. She felt awkward watching Bono and Ali together. Especially after a few night ago. He looked content at her side as she held his hand. Faith knew for all of Bono's declarations if Ali asked him back, he run into her arms. From across the room, she could feel Ann's glare. Did Larry tell her that they kissed? Larry was so much of a stand up guy, it wouldn't surprise Faith. Ann had his hand in a death grip. No need to make it obvious that you won, Faith thought.
"Are you okay?" Ryan leaned over.
She nodded. "Just having a tough day."
"Did Sheila know? She wouldn't have made you come," Ryan said.
Faith watched Bono’s girls play beside him. "No, I didn't tell her. Bono wanted us here so I wasn't going to make a big deal out of it. I can handle it." She smiled weakly at him. "I might grab your hand."
He winked at her. "I got your back." He handed his handkerchief to her for her damp eyes.
Bono watched from across the lawn at their exchange. Everyone talked around him, the voices cutting through him. In one hand, he clutched his eulogy and the other Ali. His eyes followed Faith into the church. That pang of guilt stabbed him briefly as heat washed over him at the curve of her legs. The hearse pulled in front of them bringing him back to this moment. He wrapped his arm around Ali for support.
"It will be okay," she said reassuringly.
He longed to believe her. What would okay mean to him right now? He felt trapped between two make believe worlds that had no base in reality. One past with Ali. One future with Faith. Neither felt real.
Bono’s head spun being surrounded by so many friends. The girls would be running around laughing one moment and hugging their parents the next. It was nice of Ali to stand by him. She had been there at the wake and now today - almost acting like his wife again. She wrapped her arm around him and took care of him. He was a jumble of emotions. He was distraught Bob was no longer around. Standing beside Ali, he felt a small pang of guilt when he thought about his night of passion with Faith. He wondered if Ali wanted to be with him again as she laced her fingers through his in comfort.
The church was quiet as Bono stood for his eulogy. He could hear muffled sobs and sniffling as he gripped the sides of the podium. Looking up the paper he scrawled on that morning, he couldn't find his voice. In the sea of all his friends, he didn't find strength from the first few rows of family, or his bandmates. It sat several rows away with empathetic eyes - for she'd been here. Her father never got to meet grandchildren. Their eyes locked for a moment and he knew he could deliver his final goodbye. He offered a small smile to her before he opened his mouth. His voice filled the old church carrying beautiful words of love, respect and sorrow. There was laughter and many tears. He sang one last time for his father and asked everyone to join him.
At the Clarence, it was the ultimate Irish wake. The mourners crammed into the nightclub to celebrate Bob’s life. Whiskey, wine and beer flowed like the Liffey. Bono held court with Ali by his side at a large table in back. His arm laid casually across her shoulders like years before. He leaned into her as they talked into each others ear. His heart raced with the notion she might want him back. Since she left, her interactions with him had been cool and matter of fact. With their friends gathered around, they laughed like the couple they were once. As more drinks were poured, he dropped his guard. He held her hand placing a small kiss on her cheek occasionally. Maybe she would stay with him tonight. Her parents had the girls overnight.
Alex made a concentrated effort to avoid Edge. It was fairly easy. The members of U2 were surrounded by their large army of friends. They laughed and toasted. Bono sang some of his father’s favorite songs and the bar joined in raucously. She felt his eyes on her from the other side. Every part of her ached to go to him, to bring him to her bed and drown his sorrow. She felt ashamed by her hunger for him. It would be a long tour fighting off these desires. And it had not really started. They had over 2 months on the road together still.
Ali looked at her watch. It was 9. She leaned into Bono. "I have to go.”
He looked up abruptly. "What?"
"I need to go," the warmth in her voice cooled.
"But your parents have the girls." He protested.
"They are expecting me tonight, " she gathered her bag.
"The night is young," he grinned. "Would you stay with me tonight?" He nuzzled her cheek.
Years ago, she would have melted to the floor at his velvet voice. She patted his knee.
"Get some sleep, Bono. You've had a long day," she leaned over and her lips barely brushed his cheek. As he blinked, she was working her way across the room. Had he misread the signals? She rubbed his back, held his hand, kissed his cheeks. She had wiped his tears. Now she walking out the door.
He felt stupid for going out on the limb - offering himself like that. She didn't seem to even contemplate it. But obviously she cared for him. She spent her day taking care of him. He rubbed his head. Maybe that was the problem. She didn't need one more thing to take care of.
Bono started ordering straight whiskey. It was his bar. If he wanted to pass out in it, he could. Without really noticing, the party thinned considerably. Around midnight, he glanced around him and didn't recognize anyone. Was he that drunk, he wondered. He searched for Edge, Larry or Gavin - anyone - that could help him to his room. He pulled himself up and left the bar largely unnoticed. He had been talking to someone for hours it seemed- but could not remember if they were male or female. Suddenly, he felt toxic. As he wandered through the lobby, he chose to act on one of the many bad ideas running through his head.
"Excuse me," he smiled at the young girl behind the reservations desk. "Do you know who I am?"
She blushed purple. "Yes Mr. Hewson."
"That's Mr. Bono," he winked as he leaned against the desk. "I'm hoping you can help me. I own this you know."
"Yes I know,"she nodded.
"Anyway, I'm looking for a friend staying here." He said.
"We aren't supposed to release that information, " she said carefully.
"Oh, I know. And you are doing your job by denying me that info," he flashed his smile at her.
"But I thought since I'm technically your boss....maybe you'd make an exception for me. Just this once." He batted his blue eyes at her.
She was nervous as she looked around her. "I won't get in trouble ?"
He placed his hand over his heart. "I promise."
"Okay, who do you need me to find?" She clicked on her computer.
"I need to know Faith Sullivan's room number, " he said.
After a few clicks, she looked up. "She's in 312."
He kissed her hand. "Thanks, love."
He staggered off to the elevator. As he pressed 3, he hoped she was still awake. Bono frowned as he thought back to Ali leaving. Maybe she was afraid to stay with him. Maybe she was feeling something for him and bad to leave. That was wishful thinking. The hall to Faith's room was long and crooked it seemed. He felt his way along the wall dragging his heavy feet. He squinted at the series of numbers on the door. 310. He moved one room over. 312 - this should be her.
Faith turned off the faucet. Was that a knock? She heard it again. It was a weak knock. She draped the face cloth over the sink. Who could that be? Her heart leapt. What if it was Larry? She cursed herself for letting that cross her mind. He's not staying at the hotel. It was probably Alex. She peered through the peep hole. Bono shifted his weight in front of her door. A blue eye came into view followed by another knock - this one more impatient. What was he doing here? She hoped it wasn't what she was thinking. Sighing, she opened the door a crack.
"What are you doing here?" She asked.
"Didn't know if you wanted company?" There was a gleam in his glassy gaze.
He was very drunk which certainly didn't make it appealing. "Where is Ali?"
The impish smile dropped to a frown. "She left." He bit his lip. "Everyone left."
Her shoulders slumped. Not only was he drunk, he was on the verge of tears in the hallway. She stepped back and opened the door for him to pass through. "Come in."
He staggered through and headed directly for the couch. The room rippled around him. He buttoned the top few buttons of his shirt and laid his head back on the cool leather. He was in rough shape. It was as if he bathed in whiskey barrel as his scent filled her hotel room. She brought him a bottle of water from her mini bar.
"Do you have anything stronger?" He asked.
She shoved the water in his hand. "You need this more." Curling her legs under her, she sat on the far side of the couch. "You said everyone left?"
He nodded morosely. "I don't remember much after Ali left."
"What happened with that? You seemed very close today," she said.
"Right?" He gestured emphatically. "I thought so too. Then she took off like a shot. I don't think I did anything wrong, did I?"
Faith shrugged. "I don't think so. Maybe it was just emotionally tough day. People do strange things when emotions are that high."
He gave her a sideways look. Did she mean the other night? Earlier when he was convinced he and Ali were on the path to reconciliation, he felt a small nugget of regret for that night. Now looking at her in her faded REM t-shirt and soccer shorts, he didn't regret it one bit. After all, she was the one here listening to him.
"I guess I let grief mess up my head." He shrugged.
"No one blames for you that. Maybe she didn't want to take advantage of you," she said. Like I did, she thought. "Tomorrow is another day. Are you supposed to see her?"
He rubbed his eyes. "I think so. Going to see the girls."
She smiled. "Maybe it will be different."
Sorrow swept him away. "I still don't know what I did to make her leave in the first place. I'm not a bad person. Yes, I am a flirt but I was faithful." The floodgates opened. The last three days raged through his heart and body. The divorce, Bob's death, the unshakeable loneliness, the confusion of what the woman sitting beside him meant to him. It all balled up inside of him and he buried his head in his hands. "It just hurts."
Faith put her arms around him. Suddenly, he jerked away.
"I'm sorry," she said.
The room spun out of control. His stomach churned. "I think I might be sick."
"Oh shit," she hopped of the couch and grabbed his arm. "Come on."
He felt weightless as she navigated him to the bathroom. Lifting the toilet seat, she carefully deposited him on the floor in front of it. Once he assumed the position, he hands gripped the sides as his body wretched forward. It was violent and awful. He cried and vomited.
Rubbing his back, she sat beside him. "It's okay. It's going to be okay."
He was empty in every way possible. He wondered if he would ever feel whole again. Bits of him broke off. Faith ran a cloth under the water. How did this end up in her lap again? She was glad he was safe. She didn't want to think of why he seemed to choose her out of everyone. Maybe it was easier to turn to someone he didn't share a long past. Gently, she wiped his forehead and the back of his neck. He convulsed but there was nothing left. His sides and head hurt.
"I'm so sorry," he moaned. He hated that she saw him like this. Not very sexy Hewson, he thought. She'll never touch you again.
"Nothing to be sorry about," she said softly. She'd been here - the bottom of despair. She felt terrible for him. Though it wasn't clear to him, Ali was not coming back. If there had been a glimmer of hope, something would have happened in these days when he needed her. He was mourning both losses tonight. "You think your done?"
He nodded. "There's nothing left."
"Okay," she wiped his face. "Do you need a shower?"
He smiled weakly. "Are you offering to bathe me?"
She had to laugh. "No...I'm offering my shower."
He looked down at his shirt. "Unless I smell, Im not sure I could handle a shower just yet."
"Okay," she helped him off the floor. "Let's get you back the couch."
This was not how he imagined his night ending. Sure, he hoped he'd be in a woman’s arms but this was a different woman and not really the way he pictured. He watched her bustle around him. She handed him a can of ginger ale from the mini fridge.
"Do you mind if I take this off? It's wet," he asked.
"Do you want a t-shirt?" She asked.
He thought about the leather sofa. "Um, if you wouldn't mind."
"Let me see what I can find," she rummaged in her suitcase. She held up a large Clash shirt. "Will this do?"
He nodded as he unbuttoned his white shirt. Her eyes caught on his chest bringing her back to when her hand explored his body. Quickly, she turned away. It was a strange moment for her cheeks to feel warm.
"Thank you, Faith," his voice was somber.
She hung his shirt on the back of the bathroom door. "No problem. You'd do the same for me."
Guilt seeped in. He thought back to how he first regarded her. A pretty thing to watch. Something to conquer.
"I’m sorry if I was a shit-head early on. I know I came on pretty strong," he was chagrin.
She chuckled as she sat beside him. "Yeah, you were kind of a dick."
"I'm not good a being single. Ali loved me before all this. I've had a hard time really connecting with someone like that. I miss that. How easy it was with Ali," the tears fell again.
Faith held him as he sobbed for what seemed like hours. He cried for his mother, his father, Ali. He shed tears for Faith and her loss. Eventually, he settled his head on her lap as she soothed him with her soft voice.When she was sure he was asleep, she shifted his head to a pillow. Pulling the duvet from her bed, she covered him. It had been a rough night. Where was everyone? Why had she become his keeper? Collapsing into her bed a few feet from him, she tried to turn off her mind as sleep came for her.
Bono woke to the smell of eggs and bacon the following morning. The room was bright as he peeled his eyes open. He flung his arm over his eyes. This was not his room, that much he knew. Flashes of the night before entered his mind. Ali leaving. Stumbling down the hall. Pain ripping through his stomach as Faith placed cool face cloths on his neck. His mouth was sandpaper yet his stomach rumbled. Carefully, he lifted his arm for his eyes to focus on the room. The dull thumping in his head became a searing hammer.
"You're alive," her voice said quietly.
"Barely, " he croaked. Gathering all his strength, he pushed himself to an upright position and his head spun.
"I'm not sure if you are hungry, but I ordered you breakfast," she wheeled a cart forward. "It got here 5 minutes ago."
He scratched his unruly head of hair. He vaguely remembered putting on her Clash shirt. She was showered and dressed. How did he sleep through all this activity?
"Thanks," he moved the food cart in front of him. "I am starving believe it or not."
Considering she saw his insides fill her toilet, she wasn't shocked. He uncovered his plate. Eggs, Irish bacon, brown bread and grilled tomato. It looked amazing.
"There's tea in the pot. The coffee here is pretty bad," she said.
"You know I own this place," he looked up.
She nodded. "Yes and the Irish aren't known for their coffee."
She had him there. "Are you eating?"
She sat beside him and pulled the cover off of her plate. She had the same exact breakfast. They ate in relative silence occasionally making small talk about returning to the tour. It was pointless to still in Dublin and mourn. Bob would want him to get back to work. He felt nervous about seeing Ali and the girls later. Did he make a big fool of himself? During their breakfast, there was a furtive knock on the door.
"It's probably Alex," Faith said. "Do you want me to ignore it?"
He hadn't thought about being discovered here. It wasn't like the other night - this was perfectly innocent.
"I don't mind if you don't, " he shrugged. "As long as the tabloids don't find out."
Faith couldn't agree more. They were already brutal. She could only imagine what their take on her being at the funeral would be. Standing, she peered through the peep hole. "It's Edge."
Bono sighed. "Probably looking for me."
She opened the door to Edge’s panicked face. "Have you seen Bono by any chance?"
She stepped aside to allow him to see him eating breakfast on her couch.
"Jesus. You gave us a heart attack. " Edge rushed in. "I've been looking for you since Paul and Adam said they couldn't find you."
"How long did everyone look? Last I remember was being alone downstairs," Bono said quietly.
"Last night?" Ed asked. "I went down around 1am but they said you'd left." He frowned. "How did you end up here?"
"I found him wandering my floor when I went to get ice. He wasn't coherent. I brought him here to sleep it off," she said plainly.
"After I got sick," Bono added.
Edge looked at Faith who nodded. "Yep."
"Thanks for taking care of him," Edge said. He saw the couch made up like a bed and Bono’s shirt hanging on the bathroom door. Nothing suspicious here.
"My dad died a few years ago, so I know what it's like," she replaced her duvet on the bed.
"I'm sorry. I had no idea, " Edge blushed.
She smiled warmly. "How would you? But thank you."
"Well, I guess I'll let them know you are in good hands and alive," Edge moved towards the door.
"I should probably get cleaned up. I'm seeing Ali and the girls," he scrambled to his feet. "Let me give this back to you." He closed the door to the bathroom behind him.
"Again, thank you for taking care of him. I was worried what he'd do without Ali. Clearly, he needs a good woman around," Edge said.
Faith chose ignore that comment. What was he suggesting? "I couldn't leave him out there. I heard fans roaming the hallway. It'd be bad if they found him instead of me," she said.
He nodded in agreement. "Very true."
Bono exited the bathroom buttoning his wrinkled shirt. "Faith, thank you."
"You're welcome," she said.
Bono shifted his weight for a moment before wrapping his arms around her in a big heartfelt hug. Edge glanced away as it seemed like a strangely private moment. What exactly went on between them, he wondered. Bono felt very safe in her arms at that moment and he didn't want to leave to have a tense lunch with Ali. Maybe it wouldn't be that bad. Perhaps she'd feel bad for leaving him last night.
"See you later," Faith said not knowing when that'd be. They would be moving on to the next date of the tour today or tomorrow.
With a parting nod, Bono and Edge left the room. As they walked down the hallway, Edge glanced at his friend but he couldn't quite make out what was behind his tired eyes. He opened his mouth to ask a dozen questions. He clamped it shut. Now was not the time.
"Wait, where was he?" Larry’s head shot up.
"I found him with Faith," Edge said. He watched Larry’s eyes darken.
"What the hell was he doing there?" Larry snorted. He had absolutely no right to be jealous. The mere thought of Bono touching her set his skin aflame.
Bono walked in to the living room of his suite toweling his wet hair. Secretly, he smiled at Larry’s outburst.
"After you all left me, I tried to find my way back to my room. Faith found me and took me in," he said.
"I didn't leave you. I had to leave with Ann," Larry turned to Edge and Adam. "Last I saw you were with Ali. What happened there?"
"She left," Bono grumbled.
He turned to Edge and Adam. "Where were you?"
"I left with Jocelyn at 10," Adam replied. Why was Larry getting all riled up?
Edge shrugged. "He's fine. He wasn't mauled by fans. Everything is fine. You feel okay Bono?"
"As good as can be expected, " he shrugged. He was actually very glad it was Faith that found him as he looked at his mates. They were great friends, but she knew exactly what to do for him last night. He needed a caring hand and she gave him that.
Larry still seethed. The last few days with Ann had been a mixture of good and bad moments. Her dislike of Faith was very apparent. Her shoulders remained rigid until they returned to the house. Then she was ravenous for him. Coincidence? He knew it was not. She was eager to connect and please. He managed to push Faith from his mind. However now he burned for her. Especially knowing Bono was with her. How with her was he? How did she comfort him?
This is fiction. Take it for what you will.
YouTube - Mazzy Star Still Cold
You really had a million hearts to break
Now it's time that I never left you in the moonlight
How comes always someone else driving your car
Taking you different places in the sunlight
Still cold like the stars
That's just the way you are
Still cold like the stars
You used to say your heart felt like a stone
Now everything you ever wanted is your own
Still cold like the stars
That's just the way you are
Still cold like the stars
Strict Machine hovered at the front of the plane leaving the members of u2 to the back. Everyone spoke in hushed voices as they prepared for the days ahead. Faith curled in the corner looking at the never ending floor of gray clouds. She was not looking forward to any of this. She had to face Ann and Ali. Hi, I've slept with your ex-husband and kissed your boyfriend. I'm the band tart, she thought ruefully. It was clear Larry didn't want her along. He had nothing to fear. She wouldn't even look at him. Bono did want her there and that concerned her too. Was it because they were friends? Because she knew what he was going through? What did he think last night was about? She was certain that once he got what he wanted, he'd move on. Would the flirting stop? Would it be obvious if it did? He head ached from lack of sleep. She had no idea what to expect in the next few days.
Ali waited in the car for Bono on the tarmac. As the door opened, she slipped out of the backseat. Paul and Sheila were the first to descend the stairs. Bono slipped on his glasses as he squinted against the bright sky. He saw Ali. He wondered if she'd be here. She had loved Bob like her own father. She crossed to greet him with a hug.
"I'm so sorry," she squeezed him tightly.
"Thank you for coming," he kissed her cheek. "Where are the girls? How are they?"
"They are at my mother's. They are handling it quite well. They're sad, but they know he went to heaven," she said. "How are you?"
"I'm okay for now. I know the hard part is to come." He held her hand. She came for him.
The rest of the band filed in behind him and hugged Ali. Her eyes focused of a group of strangers looking a bit dazed as they walked down the stairs.
"Who are they?" She asked. They didn't look like crew or management.
"Oh, that's Strict Machine. They've been touring with is since April," suddenly he felt guilty as he watched Faith descend from the plane. He knew he shouldn't. It's not like he was unfaithful. Maybe just to the memory of their marriage.
"Is it strange for them to be here?" She cocked her head.
He shrugged. "We've become pretty good friends with them. Come on, let's go see the girls."
Hand in hand, they walked to the car.
Faith watched them leave. Perhaps this would bring them back together. Tragedy had a way of changing things. She'd be happy for him if happened. She saw pain tear through his eyes when he talked about Ali. Granted, it happened less and less lately.
Larry fell in step beside her as they walked towards a fleet of cars waiting for them. She didn't even glance sideways. He was filled with an overwhelming desire to take her hand feeling like the most natural thing to do. As his arm brushed hers, she flinched but did not take eyes off the ground as she walked. He wanted to tell her that he was still confused, but what purpose would that serve?
"Guess we'll see you later?" He mumbled.
She nodded. "Guess so. I have no idea what the plan is or where we're going." She looked around her hopelessly.
Edge walked over. "I'm coming with you to get you settled into the Clarence. Then we'll get you some proper clothes."
For a moment, Alex was overjoyed he was coming, but being sandwiched between Sam and Edge was torture. The hairs on his arm tickled her forearm. A shock race through her body as his leg pressed against her. All the while, Sam's thumb traced the back of her hand as the conversation swirled over her head. She concentrated on breathing. It couldn't be that long of a ride, could it?
Norman had planned a small wake the following afternoon for close friends and family. Bono didn't have much choice after giving Norman all the control. He regretted that. Norman believed that Bob wouldn't want a bunch of people he didn't know standing around his body chatting politely. Let the funeral be the party.
Ali stood by Bono side during the calling hours. She held his hand and rubbed his back as tears welled and fell. She was his strength. He was so relieved to not have to go through this alone. It was nice having her by his side again - almost like old times. Periodically, his kissed the back of her hand affectionately. She smiled at him warmly. After a dinner with family and close friends, Bono hoped she would invite him back to his house. Maybe she would hold him all night and make him feel safe. She kissed his cheek.
"Edge, you make certain he gets a good night sleep and doesn't stay up drinking," she looked at him tenderly. "I'll come by in the morning to collect you with the girls."
“Do you have to go?” he pleaded.
She nodded. “I do. I have to get the girls and get some rest. We’ve a long day tomorrow.”
He flashed the grin that used to make her knees buckle. “One more drink.”
“I have to drive. Good night,” And she was gone.
Now he felt more alone than before. Under Ali's strict orders, he had one more glass of wine before loading himself into the elevator. For a moment, he wondered where Faith's room was. He shook that thought from his head. It was Ali he missed right now. He couldn’t use Faith like that. Once inside his hotel room, he kicked off his boots. He couldn’t believe he was home and staying in hotel. It didn’t matter that he owned the damned thing. He walked in circles in his suite for what seemed forever. When he was tired of walking, he scrawled lyrics on the hotel stationary. Bored with that, he flopped in the middle of a huge bed and scrolled through the channels. Finally, his eyes closed and he slept fully clothed on top of the covers.
Sam was fast asleep as Alex stared at the ceiling. He asked her to stay with him and she took her pent up energy from the afternoon car ride out on him. He didn't mind. It had been awhile since they made love that passionately. He would mind if he knew that Alex squeezed her eyes shut and imagined Edge was under her. Now, she wanted to leave his bed. Carefully, she slipped off the side. Sam shifted and picked his head up off the pillow.
“Where are you going?” he yawned.
“To maybe get something to eat. I’m starving,” she slipped on her jeans.
“Do you want me to come with you?” he asked.
“No, you get some rest,” she leaned over and kissed him.
“OKay, come back soon,” he rolled over to face the wall.
Alex needed a cigarette and a drink - she wasn’t sure which she needed first. The drink called to her as she passed the bar. She expected to see Bono in here. Her heart jerked at the sight of Edge sitting at the bar reading a book. She hung in the entrance for a moment deciding if she should take that first step in - towards him. Her body moved her forward to the stool beside him.
“Fancy meeting you here,” she said.
He started from his deep concentration. “Hey,” he looked at his watch. “It’s a bit late, huh?”
“I could say the same for you,” she nudged him. The bartender walked over. She pointed to Edge’s glass.
“I couldn’t sleep,” he closed his book. “I grew up with Bob too. It makes you think of the mortality of your own parents. It’s hard to see Bono go through this alone.”
“Well, Ali was there today,” she said.
Edge nodded. “I’m afraid that will give him a false sense of hope. He started this tour in such a bad place. He’s just starting to come of it, you know? He was more like the Bono I know. Was it having something else to focus on? Was it....” he looked at Alex. “well...you know.....He’s always in a good mood around her.”
“If she has anything to do with it, she doesn’t know it,” Alex defended.
“Oh, I know that. It’s just nice to see him enjoying himself. Even if nothing comes of him and Faith, he enjoys her company,whatever that means,” Edge smiled. “Which makes him easier to be around for the rest of us.”
“The divorce was bad, huh?” she sipped her drink.
“Divorce is for the most part, right?” He thought of his own. “But for Bono, it was devastating. He loved Ali completely. She was his soulmate. They’d been together since 14. She was his enter and core. He could spin of control and she’d reel him back in. I love him, but he needs a grounded woman to keep him even.”
“So you think there’s no reconciliation in their future?” Alex asked.
“I don’t think so. I hope not. I love Ali....but too much has happened. I don’t think it’d be the same,” he said.
“When’s Morleigh coming in?” She asked casually.
His mouth drew into a straight line. “She’s not.”
“Oh,” Alex said. She wanted to ask why.
After staring at his drink for a moment, he cleared his throat. “She’s in Asia. She has a show tomorrow and can’t get away. I understand that.”
Alex placed her hand on his arm. “I’m sorry. This must be hard for you.”
His eyes held on her hand resting on his arm. “It is. I loved Bob too.”
“If you need anything. I know I’m a poor substitution for Morleigh,” she offered.
His eyes moved to her face. “I wouldn’t say that.” Her hazel eyes were wide as they peered up at him. She was meaning a lot more to him than she should. Her boyfriend was asleep upstairs, yet he wanted to take her smooth face in his hands and kiss her hard. “Thank you.”
Feeling the heat in the moment, Alex moved her hand. He could still feel the tingling on his arm. If just a small touch made him react this way, what could her entire body to him. He shuddered at the thought.
Her eyes pleaded to him silently, let me go upstairs and comfort you with my kisses. Her breath quickened at the mere thought of running her hands across his body.
He cleared his throat. “Sam asleep?”
“Yes,” she looked at her drink.
“How long have you been together?” he asked.
“On and off for 3 years,” she said. She didn’t want to talk about Sam.
“On and off?” he raised his eyebrows.
She shrugged. “It’s not easy being in a relationship and a band with someone.”
“I honestly cannot imagine,” he chuckled.
“Yes, now I understand when Faith warned me,” she laughed.
Edge wanted to ask more. Was she unhappy with Sam? Did she think of him as much as he thought of her?
“He seems like good guy,” he felt he had to say that.
“Oh, he is. A nice guy,” she found herself lost in his kind eyes. “I just wonder if that’s enough.”
This was getting dangerous, Edge thought. Her body language was inviting him closer. He so longed to move in and taste her. Morleigh and Sam crossed his mind. They would be hurting two people.
He looked at his watch. “I should get to sleep. It’s a long day tomorrow.”
Alex nodded. “Yeah, me too.” She knew Sam was sound asleep. A part of her wanted to crawl into her own room for the night.
“Thank you for checking in on me,” Edge slid off his stool to wrap his arms around Alex. The scruff of his cheek scratched hers. With a deep breath, she took in scent to remember for the night. She didn’t want to let go as she pressed into him. She heard his breath catch. He wanted her too. She could feel it. Quickly, he moved away. “Goodnight Alexandra.”
She loved the way he said her full name. It was sensual and made her even hungrier for him.
“Goodnight Edge. Sleep well,” she nodded. She watched him slip into the night without a backward glance. If he did, he wouldn’t be alone tonight.
The morning of Bob's funeral was cloudy after raining all night. The streets were wet under the feet of the mourners as they walked up a hill to the church. The Hewson's were a united family that morning holding on to one another’s hand. Bono was already exhausted after a restless nights sleep. His dreams kept him tossing with Ali and Faith dancing through his mind. His dreams of Ali left him sad and confused ; of Faith turned on and confused. Gavin and Guggi waited at the top of the hill. They wrapped their arms around him as he approached.
Larry and Ann walked from their car to the church. It had been a tense morning between them. Since entering the house, he had been quiet. Even at the wake, he was distracted. Ann knew this was hard on him too. Bono and Larry grew up practically brothers. He'd known Bob most his life. The whole band were touched by his passing. She wondered if he was thinking of his mother. It had been almost 20 years. She left him alone hoping he'd come to her when he was ready. The whole ride to the church neither of them spoke.
Her eyes caught on some familiar faces. What were they doing here? She wondered.
"Did he invite them?" She asked.
He knew this was coming. He had been spared at the wake. "Sheila thought it was important for Bono to have the support. "
That the end of that. It took everything for him to not twist his head in Faith's direction. Since their kiss weeks ago, she had kept her distance from him. At first, he was relieved but he missed her. Ann's hand gripped his tightly, possessively.
"Bono, how are you?" She asked as they joined friends gathered around him.
He nodded slightly. "I'm doing okay. I wonder if the old man ordered up this weather."
Edge, alone, crossed the wet grass to the church. Alex longed to rush by his side to comfort him. What was Morleigh thinking leaving him to go through this alone? Bob wasn't his father, but theycwere all so close. His eyes caught on hers and last nights burning reignited. He looked away as Sam wrapped his arm around Alex’s shoulders.
"We should head inside," Faith said. She looped her arm around Ryan's. This would be hard without all their weird drama. It was the first funeral since her dad's. Today, she felt his loss to her very core. The whole day she was having flashbacks to her fathers. John and Faith were surrounded by extended family. Though they huddled close together they could hear the voices.
"It's terrible. Now it's just the two of them."
"Has anyone tried to contact Pat?"
"Tragic. To beat cancer and lose your dad to it."
Hearing their pity didn't make it easier. Faith knew how much it sucked to be her. She felt awkward watching Bono and Ali together. Especially after a few night ago. He looked content at her side as she held his hand. Faith knew for all of Bono's declarations if Ali asked him back, he run into her arms. From across the room, she could feel Ann's glare. Did Larry tell her that they kissed? Larry was so much of a stand up guy, it wouldn't surprise Faith. Ann had his hand in a death grip. No need to make it obvious that you won, Faith thought.
"Are you okay?" Ryan leaned over.
She nodded. "Just having a tough day."
"Did Sheila know? She wouldn't have made you come," Ryan said.
Faith watched Bono’s girls play beside him. "No, I didn't tell her. Bono wanted us here so I wasn't going to make a big deal out of it. I can handle it." She smiled weakly at him. "I might grab your hand."
He winked at her. "I got your back." He handed his handkerchief to her for her damp eyes.
Bono watched from across the lawn at their exchange. Everyone talked around him, the voices cutting through him. In one hand, he clutched his eulogy and the other Ali. His eyes followed Faith into the church. That pang of guilt stabbed him briefly as heat washed over him at the curve of her legs. The hearse pulled in front of them bringing him back to this moment. He wrapped his arm around Ali for support.
"It will be okay," she said reassuringly.
He longed to believe her. What would okay mean to him right now? He felt trapped between two make believe worlds that had no base in reality. One past with Ali. One future with Faith. Neither felt real.
Bono’s head spun being surrounded by so many friends. The girls would be running around laughing one moment and hugging their parents the next. It was nice of Ali to stand by him. She had been there at the wake and now today - almost acting like his wife again. She wrapped her arm around him and took care of him. He was a jumble of emotions. He was distraught Bob was no longer around. Standing beside Ali, he felt a small pang of guilt when he thought about his night of passion with Faith. He wondered if Ali wanted to be with him again as she laced her fingers through his in comfort.
The church was quiet as Bono stood for his eulogy. He could hear muffled sobs and sniffling as he gripped the sides of the podium. Looking up the paper he scrawled on that morning, he couldn't find his voice. In the sea of all his friends, he didn't find strength from the first few rows of family, or his bandmates. It sat several rows away with empathetic eyes - for she'd been here. Her father never got to meet grandchildren. Their eyes locked for a moment and he knew he could deliver his final goodbye. He offered a small smile to her before he opened his mouth. His voice filled the old church carrying beautiful words of love, respect and sorrow. There was laughter and many tears. He sang one last time for his father and asked everyone to join him.
At the Clarence, it was the ultimate Irish wake. The mourners crammed into the nightclub to celebrate Bob’s life. Whiskey, wine and beer flowed like the Liffey. Bono held court with Ali by his side at a large table in back. His arm laid casually across her shoulders like years before. He leaned into her as they talked into each others ear. His heart raced with the notion she might want him back. Since she left, her interactions with him had been cool and matter of fact. With their friends gathered around, they laughed like the couple they were once. As more drinks were poured, he dropped his guard. He held her hand placing a small kiss on her cheek occasionally. Maybe she would stay with him tonight. Her parents had the girls overnight.
Alex made a concentrated effort to avoid Edge. It was fairly easy. The members of U2 were surrounded by their large army of friends. They laughed and toasted. Bono sang some of his father’s favorite songs and the bar joined in raucously. She felt his eyes on her from the other side. Every part of her ached to go to him, to bring him to her bed and drown his sorrow. She felt ashamed by her hunger for him. It would be a long tour fighting off these desires. And it had not really started. They had over 2 months on the road together still.
Ali looked at her watch. It was 9. She leaned into Bono. "I have to go.”
He looked up abruptly. "What?"
"I need to go," the warmth in her voice cooled.
"But your parents have the girls." He protested.
"They are expecting me tonight, " she gathered her bag.
"The night is young," he grinned. "Would you stay with me tonight?" He nuzzled her cheek.
Years ago, she would have melted to the floor at his velvet voice. She patted his knee.
"Get some sleep, Bono. You've had a long day," she leaned over and her lips barely brushed his cheek. As he blinked, she was working her way across the room. Had he misread the signals? She rubbed his back, held his hand, kissed his cheeks. She had wiped his tears. Now she walking out the door.
He felt stupid for going out on the limb - offering himself like that. She didn't seem to even contemplate it. But obviously she cared for him. She spent her day taking care of him. He rubbed his head. Maybe that was the problem. She didn't need one more thing to take care of.
Bono started ordering straight whiskey. It was his bar. If he wanted to pass out in it, he could. Without really noticing, the party thinned considerably. Around midnight, he glanced around him and didn't recognize anyone. Was he that drunk, he wondered. He searched for Edge, Larry or Gavin - anyone - that could help him to his room. He pulled himself up and left the bar largely unnoticed. He had been talking to someone for hours it seemed- but could not remember if they were male or female. Suddenly, he felt toxic. As he wandered through the lobby, he chose to act on one of the many bad ideas running through his head.
"Excuse me," he smiled at the young girl behind the reservations desk. "Do you know who I am?"
She blushed purple. "Yes Mr. Hewson."
"That's Mr. Bono," he winked as he leaned against the desk. "I'm hoping you can help me. I own this you know."
"Yes I know,"she nodded.
"Anyway, I'm looking for a friend staying here." He said.
"We aren't supposed to release that information, " she said carefully.
"Oh, I know. And you are doing your job by denying me that info," he flashed his smile at her.
"But I thought since I'm technically your boss....maybe you'd make an exception for me. Just this once." He batted his blue eyes at her.
She was nervous as she looked around her. "I won't get in trouble ?"
He placed his hand over his heart. "I promise."
"Okay, who do you need me to find?" She clicked on her computer.
"I need to know Faith Sullivan's room number, " he said.
After a few clicks, she looked up. "She's in 312."
He kissed her hand. "Thanks, love."
He staggered off to the elevator. As he pressed 3, he hoped she was still awake. Bono frowned as he thought back to Ali leaving. Maybe she was afraid to stay with him. Maybe she was feeling something for him and bad to leave. That was wishful thinking. The hall to Faith's room was long and crooked it seemed. He felt his way along the wall dragging his heavy feet. He squinted at the series of numbers on the door. 310. He moved one room over. 312 - this should be her.
Faith turned off the faucet. Was that a knock? She heard it again. It was a weak knock. She draped the face cloth over the sink. Who could that be? Her heart leapt. What if it was Larry? She cursed herself for letting that cross her mind. He's not staying at the hotel. It was probably Alex. She peered through the peep hole. Bono shifted his weight in front of her door. A blue eye came into view followed by another knock - this one more impatient. What was he doing here? She hoped it wasn't what she was thinking. Sighing, she opened the door a crack.
"What are you doing here?" She asked.
"Didn't know if you wanted company?" There was a gleam in his glassy gaze.
He was very drunk which certainly didn't make it appealing. "Where is Ali?"
The impish smile dropped to a frown. "She left." He bit his lip. "Everyone left."
Her shoulders slumped. Not only was he drunk, he was on the verge of tears in the hallway. She stepped back and opened the door for him to pass through. "Come in."
He staggered through and headed directly for the couch. The room rippled around him. He buttoned the top few buttons of his shirt and laid his head back on the cool leather. He was in rough shape. It was as if he bathed in whiskey barrel as his scent filled her hotel room. She brought him a bottle of water from her mini bar.
"Do you have anything stronger?" He asked.
She shoved the water in his hand. "You need this more." Curling her legs under her, she sat on the far side of the couch. "You said everyone left?"
He nodded morosely. "I don't remember much after Ali left."
"What happened with that? You seemed very close today," she said.
"Right?" He gestured emphatically. "I thought so too. Then she took off like a shot. I don't think I did anything wrong, did I?"
Faith shrugged. "I don't think so. Maybe it was just emotionally tough day. People do strange things when emotions are that high."
He gave her a sideways look. Did she mean the other night? Earlier when he was convinced he and Ali were on the path to reconciliation, he felt a small nugget of regret for that night. Now looking at her in her faded REM t-shirt and soccer shorts, he didn't regret it one bit. After all, she was the one here listening to him.
"I guess I let grief mess up my head." He shrugged.
"No one blames for you that. Maybe she didn't want to take advantage of you," she said. Like I did, she thought. "Tomorrow is another day. Are you supposed to see her?"
He rubbed his eyes. "I think so. Going to see the girls."
She smiled. "Maybe it will be different."
Sorrow swept him away. "I still don't know what I did to make her leave in the first place. I'm not a bad person. Yes, I am a flirt but I was faithful." The floodgates opened. The last three days raged through his heart and body. The divorce, Bob's death, the unshakeable loneliness, the confusion of what the woman sitting beside him meant to him. It all balled up inside of him and he buried his head in his hands. "It just hurts."
Faith put her arms around him. Suddenly, he jerked away.
"I'm sorry," she said.
The room spun out of control. His stomach churned. "I think I might be sick."
"Oh shit," she hopped of the couch and grabbed his arm. "Come on."
He felt weightless as she navigated him to the bathroom. Lifting the toilet seat, she carefully deposited him on the floor in front of it. Once he assumed the position, he hands gripped the sides as his body wretched forward. It was violent and awful. He cried and vomited.
Rubbing his back, she sat beside him. "It's okay. It's going to be okay."
He was empty in every way possible. He wondered if he would ever feel whole again. Bits of him broke off. Faith ran a cloth under the water. How did this end up in her lap again? She was glad he was safe. She didn't want to think of why he seemed to choose her out of everyone. Maybe it was easier to turn to someone he didn't share a long past. Gently, she wiped his forehead and the back of his neck. He convulsed but there was nothing left. His sides and head hurt.
"I'm so sorry," he moaned. He hated that she saw him like this. Not very sexy Hewson, he thought. She'll never touch you again.
"Nothing to be sorry about," she said softly. She'd been here - the bottom of despair. She felt terrible for him. Though it wasn't clear to him, Ali was not coming back. If there had been a glimmer of hope, something would have happened in these days when he needed her. He was mourning both losses tonight. "You think your done?"
He nodded. "There's nothing left."
"Okay," she wiped his face. "Do you need a shower?"
He smiled weakly. "Are you offering to bathe me?"
She had to laugh. "No...I'm offering my shower."
He looked down at his shirt. "Unless I smell, Im not sure I could handle a shower just yet."
"Okay," she helped him off the floor. "Let's get you back the couch."
This was not how he imagined his night ending. Sure, he hoped he'd be in a woman’s arms but this was a different woman and not really the way he pictured. He watched her bustle around him. She handed him a can of ginger ale from the mini fridge.
"Do you mind if I take this off? It's wet," he asked.
"Do you want a t-shirt?" She asked.
He thought about the leather sofa. "Um, if you wouldn't mind."
"Let me see what I can find," she rummaged in her suitcase. She held up a large Clash shirt. "Will this do?"
He nodded as he unbuttoned his white shirt. Her eyes caught on his chest bringing her back to when her hand explored his body. Quickly, she turned away. It was a strange moment for her cheeks to feel warm.
"Thank you, Faith," his voice was somber.
She hung his shirt on the back of the bathroom door. "No problem. You'd do the same for me."
Guilt seeped in. He thought back to how he first regarded her. A pretty thing to watch. Something to conquer.
"I’m sorry if I was a shit-head early on. I know I came on pretty strong," he was chagrin.
She chuckled as she sat beside him. "Yeah, you were kind of a dick."
"I'm not good a being single. Ali loved me before all this. I've had a hard time really connecting with someone like that. I miss that. How easy it was with Ali," the tears fell again.
Faith held him as he sobbed for what seemed like hours. He cried for his mother, his father, Ali. He shed tears for Faith and her loss. Eventually, he settled his head on her lap as she soothed him with her soft voice.When she was sure he was asleep, she shifted his head to a pillow. Pulling the duvet from her bed, she covered him. It had been a rough night. Where was everyone? Why had she become his keeper? Collapsing into her bed a few feet from him, she tried to turn off her mind as sleep came for her.
Bono woke to the smell of eggs and bacon the following morning. The room was bright as he peeled his eyes open. He flung his arm over his eyes. This was not his room, that much he knew. Flashes of the night before entered his mind. Ali leaving. Stumbling down the hall. Pain ripping through his stomach as Faith placed cool face cloths on his neck. His mouth was sandpaper yet his stomach rumbled. Carefully, he lifted his arm for his eyes to focus on the room. The dull thumping in his head became a searing hammer.
"You're alive," her voice said quietly.
"Barely, " he croaked. Gathering all his strength, he pushed himself to an upright position and his head spun.
"I'm not sure if you are hungry, but I ordered you breakfast," she wheeled a cart forward. "It got here 5 minutes ago."
He scratched his unruly head of hair. He vaguely remembered putting on her Clash shirt. She was showered and dressed. How did he sleep through all this activity?
"Thanks," he moved the food cart in front of him. "I am starving believe it or not."
Considering she saw his insides fill her toilet, she wasn't shocked. He uncovered his plate. Eggs, Irish bacon, brown bread and grilled tomato. It looked amazing.
"There's tea in the pot. The coffee here is pretty bad," she said.
"You know I own this place," he looked up.
She nodded. "Yes and the Irish aren't known for their coffee."
She had him there. "Are you eating?"
She sat beside him and pulled the cover off of her plate. She had the same exact breakfast. They ate in relative silence occasionally making small talk about returning to the tour. It was pointless to still in Dublin and mourn. Bob would want him to get back to work. He felt nervous about seeing Ali and the girls later. Did he make a big fool of himself? During their breakfast, there was a furtive knock on the door.
"It's probably Alex," Faith said. "Do you want me to ignore it?"
He hadn't thought about being discovered here. It wasn't like the other night - this was perfectly innocent.
"I don't mind if you don't, " he shrugged. "As long as the tabloids don't find out."
Faith couldn't agree more. They were already brutal. She could only imagine what their take on her being at the funeral would be. Standing, she peered through the peep hole. "It's Edge."
Bono sighed. "Probably looking for me."
She opened the door to Edge’s panicked face. "Have you seen Bono by any chance?"
She stepped aside to allow him to see him eating breakfast on her couch.
"Jesus. You gave us a heart attack. " Edge rushed in. "I've been looking for you since Paul and Adam said they couldn't find you."
"How long did everyone look? Last I remember was being alone downstairs," Bono said quietly.
"Last night?" Ed asked. "I went down around 1am but they said you'd left." He frowned. "How did you end up here?"
"I found him wandering my floor when I went to get ice. He wasn't coherent. I brought him here to sleep it off," she said plainly.
"After I got sick," Bono added.
Edge looked at Faith who nodded. "Yep."
"Thanks for taking care of him," Edge said. He saw the couch made up like a bed and Bono’s shirt hanging on the bathroom door. Nothing suspicious here.
"My dad died a few years ago, so I know what it's like," she replaced her duvet on the bed.
"I'm sorry. I had no idea, " Edge blushed.
She smiled warmly. "How would you? But thank you."
"Well, I guess I'll let them know you are in good hands and alive," Edge moved towards the door.
"I should probably get cleaned up. I'm seeing Ali and the girls," he scrambled to his feet. "Let me give this back to you." He closed the door to the bathroom behind him.
"Again, thank you for taking care of him. I was worried what he'd do without Ali. Clearly, he needs a good woman around," Edge said.
Faith chose ignore that comment. What was he suggesting? "I couldn't leave him out there. I heard fans roaming the hallway. It'd be bad if they found him instead of me," she said.
He nodded in agreement. "Very true."
Bono exited the bathroom buttoning his wrinkled shirt. "Faith, thank you."
"You're welcome," she said.
Bono shifted his weight for a moment before wrapping his arms around her in a big heartfelt hug. Edge glanced away as it seemed like a strangely private moment. What exactly went on between them, he wondered. Bono felt very safe in her arms at that moment and he didn't want to leave to have a tense lunch with Ali. Maybe it wouldn't be that bad. Perhaps she'd feel bad for leaving him last night.
"See you later," Faith said not knowing when that'd be. They would be moving on to the next date of the tour today or tomorrow.
With a parting nod, Bono and Edge left the room. As they walked down the hallway, Edge glanced at his friend but he couldn't quite make out what was behind his tired eyes. He opened his mouth to ask a dozen questions. He clamped it shut. Now was not the time.
"Wait, where was he?" Larry’s head shot up.
"I found him with Faith," Edge said. He watched Larry’s eyes darken.
"What the hell was he doing there?" Larry snorted. He had absolutely no right to be jealous. The mere thought of Bono touching her set his skin aflame.
Bono walked in to the living room of his suite toweling his wet hair. Secretly, he smiled at Larry’s outburst.
"After you all left me, I tried to find my way back to my room. Faith found me and took me in," he said.
"I didn't leave you. I had to leave with Ann," Larry turned to Edge and Adam. "Last I saw you were with Ali. What happened there?"
"She left," Bono grumbled.
He turned to Edge and Adam. "Where were you?"
"I left with Jocelyn at 10," Adam replied. Why was Larry getting all riled up?
Edge shrugged. "He's fine. He wasn't mauled by fans. Everything is fine. You feel okay Bono?"
"As good as can be expected, " he shrugged. He was actually very glad it was Faith that found him as he looked at his mates. They were great friends, but she knew exactly what to do for him last night. He needed a caring hand and she gave him that.
Larry still seethed. The last few days with Ann had been a mixture of good and bad moments. Her dislike of Faith was very apparent. Her shoulders remained rigid until they returned to the house. Then she was ravenous for him. Coincidence? He knew it was not. She was eager to connect and please. He managed to push Faith from his mind. However now he burned for her. Especially knowing Bono was with her. How with her was he? How did she comfort him?
that would be awkward. Probably more than is necessary XD
No, I was totally joking. It just popped into my mind and wouldn't leave...
for both of the conflicted couples. I think by now Bono deserves Faith except that she can't throw away her semi-relationship with Larry... this is confusing. But I like it!
She really does not know Edge likes Alex, as far as I know...
