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Old 04-17-2013, 06:36 PM   #1
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no line on the horizon

FICTION sadly But Destiny is based off of me if that counts for anything

I sit and wonder why this happened how stupid I am for letting her go. The feelings I had for her I just sat there and watched her leave I didn't do anything to stop it. The real true love since Anne had passed she was there her brown skin big Brown eyes brown irish curls the way she smiled rode a horse and Harley Davidson with her big black boots perfect even thought she thought she was anything but I still couldn't convince her. I blame Bono and his big mouth for all of this him not leaving the poor neighbour girl of his alone. Going and screaming her name when ever he randomly came over to steal her pool or her studio. Her faith kindness I guess the name Destiny just didn't mean hope karma Grace she was all of those things and more just wonderful never wanted to be apart from her ever 'forever' being our word guess 'forever' was broken all because of me.

Destiny' s pov

I had ran I couldn't stop the tears Edgy tried to stop me then brain stopped him because he ha know what happened I needed to leave I was no longer wanted my God though I am such an eejet for thinking that Larry Mullen Jr loved me I was right to have my wall up in the first place I was stupid to move in next to B and buy that stupid house one word stupid that explains the last 5 years of my life I mean I love Bono and the edge and Adam but seriously I'm just stupid all around stupid.I knew I should have never trusted him ever...I was hiding know in a place me and Adam New about that's it I could hear edge calling I just ignored him and went on to think about what the last five years of my life were like. Meeting Larry oh what a bloke was my initial thought process and a grumpy bloke at that always yelling at bono for randomly using my guitars bass' s which by the way he's terrible at then my drum kit which I had thought him to play except this form was horride always hit him self in the face with their drum stick or coming over for dinner randomly ever single night liked he lived at my house I has just gotten used to it him and Ali had split him being with other women had drove her baddy so she left Adam lived with him when I first met him such a sweet man minus the whole naked sunbathing fiasco which I was horrified about at first then came to get used to it then I had met the edge he is one of the sweetest men I have met he was there when Michelle my niece was diagnosed with ab leukemia a VERY VERY rare form of leukemia she came to visit everyday and fell in love with the edge who stole my favorite 3 year old way from me who always came to visit everyday no matter what and always ask where the edge was who would play her guitar and sing her songs anyway back to the one who shall die I very VERY slow and pain full obess ok well may be that was too far but the bloke cheated I could hear both him and edge trying to find me yelling my name nicknames and everything in between and right on cue enters a VERY VERY VERY pissed off Adam Clayton right on Que "what the hell do you think you're doing" ads asked time to be a smart ads I thought "winning the lottery" he didn't look very happy about that "Okay okay Larry Mullen Jr cheated on me so I hide happy now Mr Clayton" "he did what now.... I'm going to kill that wanker... he was planning to ask you to marry him but-" "he was what more like shove his throughout down some blonde bimbo' s tounge down his throght Adam"
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Old 04-17-2013, 06:36 PM   #2
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Shall I post more or not
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Old 04-17-2013, 06:51 PM   #3
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Yes, post more....

I have a couple of suggestions...

Spaces are your friend. I have a hard time reading a big paragraph like that.

You also don't really have to put who's pov.....we can pretty much figure it out.

Other than that, it's really good. Carry on!
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Old 04-17-2013, 06:53 PM   #4
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Another thing...

that last paragraph was one epic run on sentence.....

and I know I'm being picky..I guess it's from being a beta.....
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Old 04-17-2013, 07:06 PM   #5
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Lol it's ok in school language arts what never my strong suite and I do have more of an idea for more on this one.... let's see what everyone thinks
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Old 04-17-2013, 10:19 PM   #6
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chapter 2

I made a chapter 2 it's better spacing pucation etc enjoy please please please respond I need feed back my anxiety is killing me to know If Anyone else liked it
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Old 04-17-2013, 10:19 PM   #7
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Link> No line on the horizon chapter 2
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