GraceRyan
Rock n' Roll Doggie FOB
Yep yep, the angst train is still a-rolling. There are some more light-hearted moments in this one. Some. This is all a figment of my sick mind. I hope you enjoy.
“Last night,” Larry bellowed with a smile so large it threatened to outshine the sun.
Gloria laughed. “I guess you are happy to have it over with, huh?”
“I’m looking forward to having some time off. It’s been nice being close to the kids, y’know...being able to see them often. But the back and forth has been brutal. It’s making me look my age,” he winked. His hand clapped Bono’s shoulders. “And this one like old man time.”
Behind Bono’s forced smile, there was a nasty glare for Larry. He felt he had aged years in the last 24 hours. Gloria had been pleasant over lunch - almost like nothing happened at all. He watched for a spark between her and Edge. Then realized he was being ridiculous. He wanted to talk with her alone. She managed to book everyone’s schedules with barely a moment for a bathroom break. He also noted the absence of their usual one on one meeting to go over Bono’s particular schedule. Since the start of the tour, they convened to strategize and manage his time to the fullest. Not today. Instead, she was hanging on the giddy Mullen’s every bad joke. Who put crack in his corn flakes, Bono wondered.
Gloria had roughly 10 minutes to deposit her things in her hotel room before the band left for the venue for a sound check. She sat on the edge of her bed. She was exhausted. This tour kicked her ass. She looked forward to her apartment and her office. As much as she hated walking clients down a red carpet, it would be a vacation compared to grind of a massive U2 tour. Add a secret affair to the pile, she was sure she would sleep for days once she was home. A soft knock on the door brought her out of her meditative state. She knew exactly who it was. For a moment, she considered ignoring him. She was well aware of his burning desire to have a private audience with her. To everyone at that luncheon table, he was snarky, funny Bono. Gloria knew he suffered inside. To avoid him would drive him into a frenzy and he would do something completely stupid. He was never one to keep his feelings in check. Might was well get it over with, she thought.
She opened the door and was not disappointed to find him shifting his weight nervously on the other side. “Can I come in?”
“Sure,” she stepped back to allow him passage.
No sooner did she close the door, Bono dropped to his knees and wrapped his arms around her waist. He buried his face in her stomach as his shoulders shook. He clung to her so tightly she nearly toppled over on top of him.
“I’m so sorry, Glory,” his cries muffled by her t-shirt. “I’m so sorry.”
The ice around her heart melted immediately. As much as last night stung, he was just as bothered.
“Shh..” she touched his soft hair. “There’s nothing to apologize for.”
“I never wanted to hurt you,” he looked up into her face.
She sighed as she wiped the tears from his eyes. “I knew what I was getting into. I don’t understand what has come over me lately. Why do I want you so much? Why can’t I stop myself? I know it’s wrong, but damn it, when I look at you...I just don’t care.”
He pulled her down to his level. Cupping her face in his hands, he kissed her lips softy. “I know. I know now that I never stopped being in love with you. It was easy to bury it when I knew you didn’t feel that way. You looked at me with friends’ eyes, and I tried to forget how amazing you are. How you tasted, you felt. I feel closer to you now then I did back then because I know you inside and out.” He pressed his forehead against hers. “And it makes this even harder. Moments like this, when it’s just us, it is incredibly easy.”
She laughed gently. “You mean to tell me, Hewson, that you’ve been carrying a torch for almost 20 years?”
The corners of his sky tinted eyes crinkled as he smiled. “And boy are my arms tired.” He pressed her hands to his lips. “Let’s enjoy the moment. Can we worry about tomorrow, tomorrow?”
It would be much easier to get over him when she didn’t have to see him. And the days between now and then were short. Why torture them both by disappearing beside him?
She nodded. It was putting off the inevitable, but if she could not feel that pain for another week, fine. She would hold him and love him while she could. She pulled him into a deep kiss that weakened his knees. For now, she was his - body, heart and soul.
The last show was a mixture of sadness and elation. For almost 3 months, the band and crew lived together as a close family. While they all looked forward to seeing their families, watering their plants and finding some normalcy, they still missed the bustle and commeraderie of the tour. Adam looked forward to heading somewhere topical for a few weeks to rest his bones. Edge, besides Spiderman and new U2 music, had a few other projects on the horizon. Morleigh would in Dublin with her dance show while he and the kids would be in New York. The escalating cost and headache of Spiderman weighed on his shoulders for the moment. Larry was sad to see the tour end. Sure, he missed his kids terribly. But now he was finally ready to move forward and he wouldn’t see Gloria for over a month. He would be in Dublin and she in New York. All he could do for the moment is try to close some of the distance he placed between them. He knew that making a sudden about face would only anger and confuse her.
And then there was Bono and Gloria. Every look was a reminder that the real world lurked around the corner. Neither would talk about tomorrow and where they would go from there. Bono was terrified she would walk away again - like she did before. What would he do? Would he go after her? Even though it was wrong to continue their affair, he had no intention of ending it. He was dreading the week in Dublin he would spend with the band as they finished up some songs.
Gloria wrapped her arms around her body as she watched them launch into Bad. Bono seemed possessed tonight. He was jubilant that not only did he finish this tour, he rocked it. He gave it his all after all that he went through in the spring. He was alive and not just walking, but running and jumping. He looked down at Gloria, and his heart was alive. She brought true passion to his world. When she smiled at him, he felt on fire. In the middle of the song, Bono brought the band down.
“You say you want...diamond with a ring of gold....
You say you want....your story to remain untold....
All the promises we make.....from the cradle to the grave,
when all I want is you....”
He stared right at her. “All I want is you....”
The crowd sang back to him. She bit her lip as tears threatened to well in her eyes. She concentrated all her focus on Adam. No one should see this moment, she thought.
After Rome, Bono had a drink with the band before turning in for the night - in Gloria’s room. He had 2 more nights with her and was determined to make them count. If it took hours, he was going to prove his love to her. As he kissed her, she felt his wet cheeks.
“Are you crying?” she asked.
“No,” he said unconvincingly.
“What’s wrong?” she dried his eyes with her kisses.
“I’m going to miss you. I’m scared to think of the next time we’ll be here again,” he whispered.
“In Rome?” she joked.
He laughed quietly. “No....you know what I mean.”
“I know. I just don’t like to think about it. We’ll be in the same city but not together. That won’t be easy,” her voice cracked.
He kissed her hungrily. There was one way to make the pain and fear disappear. He pressed himself against her to lose himself in her flesh. When their bodies met, nothing could touch them. The outside world blurred away to their sighs and declarations of love in the heat of their bodies. He lived out every love song in her eyes, his lyrics etched in her skin.
Gloria never liked packing. She looked around the small three story flat that was her home away from home for the last few months. There was nothing in it that really made her own, but she would still miss this place. Her suitcase sat open on the bed where she made love to Bono more often than she should. Slowly, she folded clothes into it. She remembered how his face looked on the pillow beside hers. How she would watch him walk naked to the bathroom in the dark of the night - only the moon showcasing his body. At the start of this whole thing, he had been shy around her - ashamed of how the years had changed his body. She was amused that a few hours before, he prowled his stage with all the confidence in the world. He owned those stadiums. He drove the women wild with just a wink or hip shake. Yet as he shed his clothes in front of her or when the sheets would fall away, he was self conscious. After many words and kisses of encouragement, he relaxed and languished being natural around her. Her doorbell brought her out of her dream state. The doorbell was followed by an impatient knock as she bounded down the stairs. If it was Bono, she didn’t have time for that.
“You know I still have to pack,” she said into Bono’s smiling face.
“I’ve been sent here by the band,” he stepped inside. Once the door was closed, he dropped a kiss on her lips. “They want to know of you can change your flight so that we can take you out tonight. As a thank you.”
“And this was their idea?” she cocked one eyebrow.
“It was Larry’s, actually,” Bono said. “He figured that I had a better chance of convincing you to stay.”
She frowned. “Larry?”
He shook his head. “Yeah, I thought it was strange too. Edge was very keen on the idea too. They want to thank you for all you’ve done on this last tour in such short notice. We all appreciate how you basically put your life on hold to help us out. And for taking on the Australian tour.”
“I was supposed to be at work on Monday morning,” she said.
He slid his arms around her. “Please,” he said in her ear. “Just one more night to be near you. Even if I have to have my other mates around.”
When he spoke in his husky low voice, there wasn’t much she would deny him. “I’ll see what I can do.”
With a few phone calls - one to Andrew and one to the airline - she was on a plane first thing Monday morning. Bono couldn’t convince her to take a break from packing, but he stayed and attempted to help. He offered to clean her bathroom just to send time with her. It was nice to be able to ramble around a house with her instead of just a small hotel room. He was able to hold her hand and kiss her on a whim. Tired from their productivity, they curled on the couch together and listened to music. Eventually, he had to tear himself away to get ready for evening out.
Larry and Adam were the ones to collect Gloria for the evening out.
“So, this was your brainchild?” Gloria asked as they walked to the restaurant.
“We’d been talking about doing something for you. You did a great job of putting up with all of us, especially me,” Larry shoved his hands deep into his pockets. “I know I’ve been an arse at times.”
She side-glanced him. She did notice that his mood lifted in the last week or so. He was more like himself. “We’d expect nothing less from you.” She winked.
A shiver shot down his spine. Maybe tonight would be the turnaround in their relationship, or what he hoped could be the start of one.
“I’m glad things seem to be better,” Gloria said warmly.
He nodded. “They are.” He wanted to tell her everything at that moment. Maybe if they were alone, he would have. He’d beg her forgiveness.
The restaurant was theirs for the evening. It was a tiny place tucked into a small alley with only 15 tables. The owner greeted them at the door and shook Larry’s hand warmly. He led the way to a large table in the back. Paul, Edge and Bono stood as they approached. She made her rounds giving them each a hug. Bono pressed his cheek against hers. His skin was smooth and free of his usual scruff. He smelled amazing too - like spice and burning wood on a cold winter night. He chose a royal blue shirt knowing Gloria always liked him in blue. Larry offered Gloria the seat beside him.
“Thank you very much, guys,” Gloria said as wine and champagne was poured. “You certainly didn’t have to go through the trouble.”
“Eh, we were just looking for another excuse to get drunk again,” Bono teased.
“I’ve asked everyone to give a little toast,” Larry said. “And because I hate public speaking, I’ll go first to get it over with.” He grabbed his beer instead of the flute of champagne. “Gloria, thank you for agreeing to tour with four sweaty men for months and really years on end. You put up with his big mouth,” he gestured to Bono. He paused to look at Edge and Adam. “As far as I can tell, they are the easiest.”
“I am to blame for a hangover or two..” Edge shrugged.
“OPA!” Gloria raised her glance with a gleam in her eye. Edge groaned remembering Greece.
“You put up with my grumpiness and mood swings. And I’m sorry if ever made you feel bad about it. I won’t be as much as an eejit for the Australian tour,” he said.
Gloria was a little shocked. Bono chewed on the inside of cheek as he watched Larry fidget through his speech and apology.
“Thanks for putting up with me and us....” flushed, Larry reclaimed his seat.
Paul went next. He was succinct and quick. Adam didn’t have much to say other than thanking her for joining the tour on short notice and keeping Bono in check.
“I’ll go,” Bono stood. Gloria held her breath. Would his emotions show through? From his pocket, he produced a napkin where he had scrawled some notes. “Gloria....my flesh and blood Blackberry...” Everyone laughed. “My drill sargeant with sexy legs....keeping me in line and on ‘time’ “ he framed those words with quotes. “We kidnapped you from your homeland and whisked you away in our metal bird to do our bidding....and you did with grace and smiles....you make us laugh....you mother us like your own....For the next month, we will all be walking into walls without your directions....You have our hearts as you fly home,” He placed his hand over his heart, “And your number on speed dial as we can’t find our socks.” He raised his champagne glass. “To Gloria, our patron saint of tour and life.....nous vous aimons.” He winked and gave her his knee buckling crooked grin.
“I have to follow that?” Edge asked. Gloria chuckled, grateful to feel the heat drain from her face. Edge stood and straightened his shirt making a big show of his speech. He cleared his throat and stretched his arms.
“Sweet jaysus, start already,” Larry groaned. “I’m starving.”
Edge’s speech was not as eloquent as Bono’s. He thanked for being a great drinking buddy and shopping partner. He told the story of them going to an electronics store in Russia and spending hours trying out several tech gadgets. Edge had started to ramble a bit when finally the waiters brought out plates of cheese and fruits signaling him to stop.
Dinner was pleasant and conversation flowed easily. Larry inched closer during dinner. The wine and champagne continued to flow. Gloria was careful to sip slowly. Flying with hangover was not fun. She would be heading straight to the office from the airport.
“How is the training going?” Larry turned his body towards Gloria cutting them off from the rest of the table.
“Right now I’m in maintenance mode, just trying to keep my aerobic level to where t is. In October, I’ll find out if I’m running the marathon and start training then,” she sipped her water.
“If you get in, I’ll make sure we aren’t touring elsewhere so I can be there,” he said.
Gloria noticed he didn’t use ‘we’ as in the band. “Yeah, if I get in - I’m not sure how much touring I’ll be doing in 2011. But Andrew and I haven’t talked that far. I don’t think Paul and Andrew have discussed 2011 touring yet. Maybe he’ll want to use another firm.”
Larry scoffed. “We’ve toured with either you and Andrew since Unforgettable Fire. I don’t see that changing now.”
Gloria wondered how much that would change if everyone knew. Bono and Paul were deep in conversation on the other side of the table but he kept close watch on Larry and Gloria. His suspicions were close to being confirmed. Something happened between Larry and Ann. Now Larry was ready to move on with Gloria. For a moment, Larry considered casually dropping his arm on the back of her chair, but that would suggest a level of intimacy he wasn’t ready for. Once home, he would start the process of extricating himself from the home he loved. With Ann dating, it would be awkward to continue living under the same roof. And if he were to really make a fresh start with Gloria, he needed a place for them.
Edge produced a stack of photographs from the tour. They were mostly backstage, on the plane, during dinners. Some were goofy. Some were bad. Both Bono and Gloria saw a few of the two of them right before their affair started. They were having a meeting and looking very intently at one another over a magazine article. There were a few of them laughing together and it was a wonder how they had not been confronted. The last one, Bono slipped under the table and into his back pocket when no one was looking. It was Bono and Gloria on the plane one night - asleep. His head nestled on her shoulder as she leaned into him. He wanted that one for himself.
Sometime before midnight, Gloria stood with her second glass of wine. “I want to thank you all for tonight. To Larry, for being kind enough to think that I deserved something this special.”
“We were going to present you with that necklace, but Bono blew that surprise,” Larry sighed.
Absentmindedly, she touched her runner charm as she looked at Bono remembering that night.
“Sorry, I blame the wine. I have no patience. Someone else should have held on to it,” he shrugged casually. The corners of his mouth turned up slightly.
“Thank you all for making this tour enjoyable,” her mouth felt dry. This tour seemed to speed past her unlike last fall. She knew falling in love with Bono all over again made time pass too swiftly. “To Edge, I’m not going out drinking with you Australia.”
“Fair enough,” he chuckled. “I know you’ll change your mind.”
“To Adam, I am going to take you up on your pilates challenge for the next tour,” she smiled. She took a deep internal breath s her eyes switched to him. “To Bono, thank you for not being too much of a challenge. I want you to keep up with your rehab and you better not look at a cigarette or red wine while on break from your ‘drill sargeant’. Thank you all for being my family. I love you all. Cheers.”
They all raised a glass. “Cheers.”
Gloria felt truly loved by these men. It made her feel all the more guilty. She was family to them. They had known her since she was an awkward teen. Two of them had known her as a woman. Perhaps another tour was not a good idea.
A little after midnight, they all trickled out of the restaurant. Edge suggested stopping for a nightcap at a tiny local. Gloria declined. Her flight was in the morning and she could not miss it. She hugged Edge and Adam tightly.
“You’re on my way,” Bono said. “I’ll walk you home.”
“Me too,” Larry chimed.
Bono could have thumped Larry. The hours and minutes he had with Gloria were slipping through his fingers. So, the three of them wound their way through the quiet streets of Eze. Gloria couldn’t feel more uncomfortable. She was flanked on each side by Bono and Larry - both with their hands shoved deep into the pockets of their pants. She yammered aimlessly about all the projects awaiting her in 12 hours. Bono and Larry were silent, probably each cursing the other. Larry walked slowly to savor the moments he had left, while Bono couldn’t wait to get rid of him. Gloria stopped at her doorway and turned to them. Both had expectant looks. Larry just seemed eager to get back into her good graces. She didn’t want to think why. He’d been attentive, but not overly so. He was a little flirty, but not enough to alarm her. He looked like a little boy with a goofy grin as he shuffled his feet. A part of her wanted to ruffle his hair. Meanwhile Bono was trying all his might to not glare daggers at Larry. Of course how would he know that he wanted to be alone with Gloria? And if Bono wasn’t so concerned with Larry’s motives, this would be just annoying. But Larry’s body language spoke something else.
“Okay guys, thanks for tonight. I’ll be seeing you in 5 or 6 weeks,” she stepped towards Larry to hug him first. “Stay out of trouble since you are no longer my responsibility.”
Larry gave her a small squeeze. “I’ll wait until Australia for that.”
‘Oh boy, can’t wait,” she teased. With a heavy heart, she turned to Bono. His glare melted as he turned his eyes from Larry to her. She could tell he was jealous. “I’m sure our paths will cross in New York.”
“They better,” he said. He was careful to not hug too tight or too long. He kissed her cheek. “Goodnight Gloria.”
They both watched her slip behind her front door with a wave. Together, they turned and walked towards home.
“When is our flight again?” Larry asked.
“Tuesday morning,” Bono answered. “I fly to New York sometime next week, depending on how the recording goes.”
“How goes the Spiderman rehearsals?” Larry asked.
Bono shrugged. “We’ll find out in a few weeks when they start dress rehearsal. Even though it’s not time off, it will be nice to have time off from touring.” Bono reached his street. “This is where I leave you.”
“Night, mate,” Larry clapped his back. He turned and whistled down the lane to his house. He didn’t look forward to his big empty house, but he felt good about the ways were left with Gloria. It was a start - as tiny as it was.
Bono started for his house. As soon as Larry was out of sight, he double-backed down some side streets towards Gloria’s. He needed to kiss her one last time. He couldn’t be sure that Edge or Adam wouldn’t pass by. The back of Gloria’s flat faced a small harbor beach. He scrambled down the stairs and walked on the beach looking for hers. He was going to have to scale a seawall to get to her back deck. What things men do for love. Placing his palms on the sea wall, he hopped up. He landed flat on his belly and after a few tries, swung his legs up on the wall. He was glad for a cloudy night so no one would see him. Catching his breath, he stared up at her house. The lights were still on - thankfully. He hopped off the sea wall and looked at her deck. It was really high.
Gloria wheeled that last of her suitcases to the front door. She moved back to the kitchen to have some water before turning in for the night. Her computer bag sat on the table ready to go. Leaning against the counter, she sipped her water thinking back on the night. A strange noise outside made her jump. Dear God, she was getting robbed on her last night here. What were the odds? She grabbed a broom and held it like a baseball bat. She squinted out her sliding glass doors and waited for the intruder to step into the light. The scuffling noise made her wonder if it was an animal looking for food. The groaning and swearing quickly quelled that suspicion. The voice was familiar. Bono stumbled into the pool of light on her deck.
“What the?” Gloria muttered.
He brushed off his shirt and pants. With a wince, he straightened his back. His reward for nearly killing himself was Gloria opening her slider to him.
“What are you doing?” she demanded.
“I wanted to see before you left,” he panted still a little winded.
“And the front door was not romantic enough for you?” she asked.
“I didn’t want to be seen. I didn’t know if Larry was sulking around outside,” he walked into the kitchen.
“You climbed my deck?” she could not believe it.
“I used the stairs, but your gate was locked and I couldn’t unlock it from the other side. I did have to scale that,” he rolled up his shirt sleeves. He was bleeding from a few scrapes.
“You could have really hurt yourself,” she took his hand and led him to the sink. With a cloth, she wiped away the blood on his forearm. He watched her tend to his wound with a satisfied smile on his lips.
“Please don’t make me leave tonight,” he asked quietly.
“I need to get some sleep,” she said.
“Then you sleep and I’ll watch you,” he moved closer.
“Yeah, cause that’s not creepy,” she rolled her eyes.
“You never minded before,” he whispered as he drew closer. “I couldn’t let that be our goodbye.” He nuzzled her neck. “See? I shaved for you.”
She kissed him with everything in her. Tomorrow could wait. She would have to quit him cold turkey. The next week would be the toughest. She had seen him every day for over 2 months. She missed him already. Even as they held each other tightly fully clothed on her bed - pressing their hearts together. She did drift off to sleep with his arms wrapped tightly around her. He had no idea how he would survive this break. Ether his life would recapture him and this would be a dream or he would need to make some difficult decisions. Instead of a harsh alarm, she woke to kisses on her cheeks and neck. She smiled and didn’t want to be one time for that plane. She hated that damn plane that would take her away from here. It was still dark outside.
“You should go,” she said sadly.
He groaned and rolled on top of her. “If I stay here, you won’t be able to get up and you can’t leave.”
She laughed and flipped him over so she was on him. She turned on her bedside lamp. Her finger traced the scar on his chin. “I can see it now.”
“Can you take a later plane?” His blue eyes pleaded.
Sighing, she shook her head. “It won’t make this easier. I have to go.” She sat up. “Your family needs you.”
“You aren’t leaving again, are you?” he bolted upright.
“What do you mean? I’m going home,” she said.
“No, I meant leaving me. Like you did during Zoo Tv,” he said.
The hurt was mirrored in his eyes. “We have no way of knowing what’s gong to happen. Right now, we just have to go on living until we see each other again - and then see what we feel. But I wouldn’t call that leaving you,” she took his hand.
He kissed her palm. “Those were dark days. Japan was such a blur after you left.”
“I wasn’t happy either. I had to go. Things between us were different . It felt very uneven. It’s different this time. It wasn’t easy to leave then. Now, well.....” her voice trailed off. At the moment, she knew she did not have the strength to leave this. Perhaps some distance would give her that strength to return him to his family.
Bono left Gloria the way he came in - out the back and scaling down a wall. He buried his head in his shirt as a light rain fell on his head. The rain mingled with his tears. He knew he would see her again. Would it be different? Would he feel the same? He couldn’t imagine just falling out love with her like that. How was he going to return to his family and Ali and be what they wanted and needed? Right now, he needed sleep. He did watch her all night trying to remember everything about her. He needed to keep that close to his heart to carry him until he saw her again.
“Last night,” Larry bellowed with a smile so large it threatened to outshine the sun.
Gloria laughed. “I guess you are happy to have it over with, huh?”
“I’m looking forward to having some time off. It’s been nice being close to the kids, y’know...being able to see them often. But the back and forth has been brutal. It’s making me look my age,” he winked. His hand clapped Bono’s shoulders. “And this one like old man time.”
Behind Bono’s forced smile, there was a nasty glare for Larry. He felt he had aged years in the last 24 hours. Gloria had been pleasant over lunch - almost like nothing happened at all. He watched for a spark between her and Edge. Then realized he was being ridiculous. He wanted to talk with her alone. She managed to book everyone’s schedules with barely a moment for a bathroom break. He also noted the absence of their usual one on one meeting to go over Bono’s particular schedule. Since the start of the tour, they convened to strategize and manage his time to the fullest. Not today. Instead, she was hanging on the giddy Mullen’s every bad joke. Who put crack in his corn flakes, Bono wondered.
Gloria had roughly 10 minutes to deposit her things in her hotel room before the band left for the venue for a sound check. She sat on the edge of her bed. She was exhausted. This tour kicked her ass. She looked forward to her apartment and her office. As much as she hated walking clients down a red carpet, it would be a vacation compared to grind of a massive U2 tour. Add a secret affair to the pile, she was sure she would sleep for days once she was home. A soft knock on the door brought her out of her meditative state. She knew exactly who it was. For a moment, she considered ignoring him. She was well aware of his burning desire to have a private audience with her. To everyone at that luncheon table, he was snarky, funny Bono. Gloria knew he suffered inside. To avoid him would drive him into a frenzy and he would do something completely stupid. He was never one to keep his feelings in check. Might was well get it over with, she thought.
She opened the door and was not disappointed to find him shifting his weight nervously on the other side. “Can I come in?”
“Sure,” she stepped back to allow him passage.
No sooner did she close the door, Bono dropped to his knees and wrapped his arms around her waist. He buried his face in her stomach as his shoulders shook. He clung to her so tightly she nearly toppled over on top of him.
“I’m so sorry, Glory,” his cries muffled by her t-shirt. “I’m so sorry.”
The ice around her heart melted immediately. As much as last night stung, he was just as bothered.
“Shh..” she touched his soft hair. “There’s nothing to apologize for.”
“I never wanted to hurt you,” he looked up into her face.
She sighed as she wiped the tears from his eyes. “I knew what I was getting into. I don’t understand what has come over me lately. Why do I want you so much? Why can’t I stop myself? I know it’s wrong, but damn it, when I look at you...I just don’t care.”
He pulled her down to his level. Cupping her face in his hands, he kissed her lips softy. “I know. I know now that I never stopped being in love with you. It was easy to bury it when I knew you didn’t feel that way. You looked at me with friends’ eyes, and I tried to forget how amazing you are. How you tasted, you felt. I feel closer to you now then I did back then because I know you inside and out.” He pressed his forehead against hers. “And it makes this even harder. Moments like this, when it’s just us, it is incredibly easy.”
She laughed gently. “You mean to tell me, Hewson, that you’ve been carrying a torch for almost 20 years?”
The corners of his sky tinted eyes crinkled as he smiled. “And boy are my arms tired.” He pressed her hands to his lips. “Let’s enjoy the moment. Can we worry about tomorrow, tomorrow?”
It would be much easier to get over him when she didn’t have to see him. And the days between now and then were short. Why torture them both by disappearing beside him?
She nodded. It was putting off the inevitable, but if she could not feel that pain for another week, fine. She would hold him and love him while she could. She pulled him into a deep kiss that weakened his knees. For now, she was his - body, heart and soul.
The last show was a mixture of sadness and elation. For almost 3 months, the band and crew lived together as a close family. While they all looked forward to seeing their families, watering their plants and finding some normalcy, they still missed the bustle and commeraderie of the tour. Adam looked forward to heading somewhere topical for a few weeks to rest his bones. Edge, besides Spiderman and new U2 music, had a few other projects on the horizon. Morleigh would in Dublin with her dance show while he and the kids would be in New York. The escalating cost and headache of Spiderman weighed on his shoulders for the moment. Larry was sad to see the tour end. Sure, he missed his kids terribly. But now he was finally ready to move forward and he wouldn’t see Gloria for over a month. He would be in Dublin and she in New York. All he could do for the moment is try to close some of the distance he placed between them. He knew that making a sudden about face would only anger and confuse her.
And then there was Bono and Gloria. Every look was a reminder that the real world lurked around the corner. Neither would talk about tomorrow and where they would go from there. Bono was terrified she would walk away again - like she did before. What would he do? Would he go after her? Even though it was wrong to continue their affair, he had no intention of ending it. He was dreading the week in Dublin he would spend with the band as they finished up some songs.
Gloria wrapped her arms around her body as she watched them launch into Bad. Bono seemed possessed tonight. He was jubilant that not only did he finish this tour, he rocked it. He gave it his all after all that he went through in the spring. He was alive and not just walking, but running and jumping. He looked down at Gloria, and his heart was alive. She brought true passion to his world. When she smiled at him, he felt on fire. In the middle of the song, Bono brought the band down.
“You say you want...diamond with a ring of gold....
You say you want....your story to remain untold....
All the promises we make.....from the cradle to the grave,
when all I want is you....”
He stared right at her. “All I want is you....”
The crowd sang back to him. She bit her lip as tears threatened to well in her eyes. She concentrated all her focus on Adam. No one should see this moment, she thought.
After Rome, Bono had a drink with the band before turning in for the night - in Gloria’s room. He had 2 more nights with her and was determined to make them count. If it took hours, he was going to prove his love to her. As he kissed her, she felt his wet cheeks.
“Are you crying?” she asked.
“No,” he said unconvincingly.
“What’s wrong?” she dried his eyes with her kisses.
“I’m going to miss you. I’m scared to think of the next time we’ll be here again,” he whispered.
“In Rome?” she joked.
He laughed quietly. “No....you know what I mean.”
“I know. I just don’t like to think about it. We’ll be in the same city but not together. That won’t be easy,” her voice cracked.
He kissed her hungrily. There was one way to make the pain and fear disappear. He pressed himself against her to lose himself in her flesh. When their bodies met, nothing could touch them. The outside world blurred away to their sighs and declarations of love in the heat of their bodies. He lived out every love song in her eyes, his lyrics etched in her skin.
Gloria never liked packing. She looked around the small three story flat that was her home away from home for the last few months. There was nothing in it that really made her own, but she would still miss this place. Her suitcase sat open on the bed where she made love to Bono more often than she should. Slowly, she folded clothes into it. She remembered how his face looked on the pillow beside hers. How she would watch him walk naked to the bathroom in the dark of the night - only the moon showcasing his body. At the start of this whole thing, he had been shy around her - ashamed of how the years had changed his body. She was amused that a few hours before, he prowled his stage with all the confidence in the world. He owned those stadiums. He drove the women wild with just a wink or hip shake. Yet as he shed his clothes in front of her or when the sheets would fall away, he was self conscious. After many words and kisses of encouragement, he relaxed and languished being natural around her. Her doorbell brought her out of her dream state. The doorbell was followed by an impatient knock as she bounded down the stairs. If it was Bono, she didn’t have time for that.
“You know I still have to pack,” she said into Bono’s smiling face.
“I’ve been sent here by the band,” he stepped inside. Once the door was closed, he dropped a kiss on her lips. “They want to know of you can change your flight so that we can take you out tonight. As a thank you.”
“And this was their idea?” she cocked one eyebrow.
“It was Larry’s, actually,” Bono said. “He figured that I had a better chance of convincing you to stay.”
She frowned. “Larry?”
He shook his head. “Yeah, I thought it was strange too. Edge was very keen on the idea too. They want to thank you for all you’ve done on this last tour in such short notice. We all appreciate how you basically put your life on hold to help us out. And for taking on the Australian tour.”
“I was supposed to be at work on Monday morning,” she said.
He slid his arms around her. “Please,” he said in her ear. “Just one more night to be near you. Even if I have to have my other mates around.”
When he spoke in his husky low voice, there wasn’t much she would deny him. “I’ll see what I can do.”
With a few phone calls - one to Andrew and one to the airline - she was on a plane first thing Monday morning. Bono couldn’t convince her to take a break from packing, but he stayed and attempted to help. He offered to clean her bathroom just to send time with her. It was nice to be able to ramble around a house with her instead of just a small hotel room. He was able to hold her hand and kiss her on a whim. Tired from their productivity, they curled on the couch together and listened to music. Eventually, he had to tear himself away to get ready for evening out.
Larry and Adam were the ones to collect Gloria for the evening out.
“So, this was your brainchild?” Gloria asked as they walked to the restaurant.
“We’d been talking about doing something for you. You did a great job of putting up with all of us, especially me,” Larry shoved his hands deep into his pockets. “I know I’ve been an arse at times.”
She side-glanced him. She did notice that his mood lifted in the last week or so. He was more like himself. “We’d expect nothing less from you.” She winked.
A shiver shot down his spine. Maybe tonight would be the turnaround in their relationship, or what he hoped could be the start of one.
“I’m glad things seem to be better,” Gloria said warmly.
He nodded. “They are.” He wanted to tell her everything at that moment. Maybe if they were alone, he would have. He’d beg her forgiveness.
The restaurant was theirs for the evening. It was a tiny place tucked into a small alley with only 15 tables. The owner greeted them at the door and shook Larry’s hand warmly. He led the way to a large table in the back. Paul, Edge and Bono stood as they approached. She made her rounds giving them each a hug. Bono pressed his cheek against hers. His skin was smooth and free of his usual scruff. He smelled amazing too - like spice and burning wood on a cold winter night. He chose a royal blue shirt knowing Gloria always liked him in blue. Larry offered Gloria the seat beside him.
“Thank you very much, guys,” Gloria said as wine and champagne was poured. “You certainly didn’t have to go through the trouble.”
“Eh, we were just looking for another excuse to get drunk again,” Bono teased.
“I’ve asked everyone to give a little toast,” Larry said. “And because I hate public speaking, I’ll go first to get it over with.” He grabbed his beer instead of the flute of champagne. “Gloria, thank you for agreeing to tour with four sweaty men for months and really years on end. You put up with his big mouth,” he gestured to Bono. He paused to look at Edge and Adam. “As far as I can tell, they are the easiest.”
“I am to blame for a hangover or two..” Edge shrugged.
“OPA!” Gloria raised her glance with a gleam in her eye. Edge groaned remembering Greece.
“You put up with my grumpiness and mood swings. And I’m sorry if ever made you feel bad about it. I won’t be as much as an eejit for the Australian tour,” he said.
Gloria was a little shocked. Bono chewed on the inside of cheek as he watched Larry fidget through his speech and apology.
“Thanks for putting up with me and us....” flushed, Larry reclaimed his seat.
Paul went next. He was succinct and quick. Adam didn’t have much to say other than thanking her for joining the tour on short notice and keeping Bono in check.
“I’ll go,” Bono stood. Gloria held her breath. Would his emotions show through? From his pocket, he produced a napkin where he had scrawled some notes. “Gloria....my flesh and blood Blackberry...” Everyone laughed. “My drill sargeant with sexy legs....keeping me in line and on ‘time’ “ he framed those words with quotes. “We kidnapped you from your homeland and whisked you away in our metal bird to do our bidding....and you did with grace and smiles....you make us laugh....you mother us like your own....For the next month, we will all be walking into walls without your directions....You have our hearts as you fly home,” He placed his hand over his heart, “And your number on speed dial as we can’t find our socks.” He raised his champagne glass. “To Gloria, our patron saint of tour and life.....nous vous aimons.” He winked and gave her his knee buckling crooked grin.
“I have to follow that?” Edge asked. Gloria chuckled, grateful to feel the heat drain from her face. Edge stood and straightened his shirt making a big show of his speech. He cleared his throat and stretched his arms.
“Sweet jaysus, start already,” Larry groaned. “I’m starving.”
Edge’s speech was not as eloquent as Bono’s. He thanked for being a great drinking buddy and shopping partner. He told the story of them going to an electronics store in Russia and spending hours trying out several tech gadgets. Edge had started to ramble a bit when finally the waiters brought out plates of cheese and fruits signaling him to stop.
Dinner was pleasant and conversation flowed easily. Larry inched closer during dinner. The wine and champagne continued to flow. Gloria was careful to sip slowly. Flying with hangover was not fun. She would be heading straight to the office from the airport.
“How is the training going?” Larry turned his body towards Gloria cutting them off from the rest of the table.
“Right now I’m in maintenance mode, just trying to keep my aerobic level to where t is. In October, I’ll find out if I’m running the marathon and start training then,” she sipped her water.
“If you get in, I’ll make sure we aren’t touring elsewhere so I can be there,” he said.
Gloria noticed he didn’t use ‘we’ as in the band. “Yeah, if I get in - I’m not sure how much touring I’ll be doing in 2011. But Andrew and I haven’t talked that far. I don’t think Paul and Andrew have discussed 2011 touring yet. Maybe he’ll want to use another firm.”
Larry scoffed. “We’ve toured with either you and Andrew since Unforgettable Fire. I don’t see that changing now.”
Gloria wondered how much that would change if everyone knew. Bono and Paul were deep in conversation on the other side of the table but he kept close watch on Larry and Gloria. His suspicions were close to being confirmed. Something happened between Larry and Ann. Now Larry was ready to move on with Gloria. For a moment, Larry considered casually dropping his arm on the back of her chair, but that would suggest a level of intimacy he wasn’t ready for. Once home, he would start the process of extricating himself from the home he loved. With Ann dating, it would be awkward to continue living under the same roof. And if he were to really make a fresh start with Gloria, he needed a place for them.
Edge produced a stack of photographs from the tour. They were mostly backstage, on the plane, during dinners. Some were goofy. Some were bad. Both Bono and Gloria saw a few of the two of them right before their affair started. They were having a meeting and looking very intently at one another over a magazine article. There were a few of them laughing together and it was a wonder how they had not been confronted. The last one, Bono slipped under the table and into his back pocket when no one was looking. It was Bono and Gloria on the plane one night - asleep. His head nestled on her shoulder as she leaned into him. He wanted that one for himself.
Sometime before midnight, Gloria stood with her second glass of wine. “I want to thank you all for tonight. To Larry, for being kind enough to think that I deserved something this special.”
“We were going to present you with that necklace, but Bono blew that surprise,” Larry sighed.
Absentmindedly, she touched her runner charm as she looked at Bono remembering that night.
“Sorry, I blame the wine. I have no patience. Someone else should have held on to it,” he shrugged casually. The corners of his mouth turned up slightly.
“Thank you all for making this tour enjoyable,” her mouth felt dry. This tour seemed to speed past her unlike last fall. She knew falling in love with Bono all over again made time pass too swiftly. “To Edge, I’m not going out drinking with you Australia.”
“Fair enough,” he chuckled. “I know you’ll change your mind.”
“To Adam, I am going to take you up on your pilates challenge for the next tour,” she smiled. She took a deep internal breath s her eyes switched to him. “To Bono, thank you for not being too much of a challenge. I want you to keep up with your rehab and you better not look at a cigarette or red wine while on break from your ‘drill sargeant’. Thank you all for being my family. I love you all. Cheers.”
They all raised a glass. “Cheers.”
Gloria felt truly loved by these men. It made her feel all the more guilty. She was family to them. They had known her since she was an awkward teen. Two of them had known her as a woman. Perhaps another tour was not a good idea.
A little after midnight, they all trickled out of the restaurant. Edge suggested stopping for a nightcap at a tiny local. Gloria declined. Her flight was in the morning and she could not miss it. She hugged Edge and Adam tightly.
“You’re on my way,” Bono said. “I’ll walk you home.”
“Me too,” Larry chimed.
Bono could have thumped Larry. The hours and minutes he had with Gloria were slipping through his fingers. So, the three of them wound their way through the quiet streets of Eze. Gloria couldn’t feel more uncomfortable. She was flanked on each side by Bono and Larry - both with their hands shoved deep into the pockets of their pants. She yammered aimlessly about all the projects awaiting her in 12 hours. Bono and Larry were silent, probably each cursing the other. Larry walked slowly to savor the moments he had left, while Bono couldn’t wait to get rid of him. Gloria stopped at her doorway and turned to them. Both had expectant looks. Larry just seemed eager to get back into her good graces. She didn’t want to think why. He’d been attentive, but not overly so. He was a little flirty, but not enough to alarm her. He looked like a little boy with a goofy grin as he shuffled his feet. A part of her wanted to ruffle his hair. Meanwhile Bono was trying all his might to not glare daggers at Larry. Of course how would he know that he wanted to be alone with Gloria? And if Bono wasn’t so concerned with Larry’s motives, this would be just annoying. But Larry’s body language spoke something else.
“Okay guys, thanks for tonight. I’ll be seeing you in 5 or 6 weeks,” she stepped towards Larry to hug him first. “Stay out of trouble since you are no longer my responsibility.”
Larry gave her a small squeeze. “I’ll wait until Australia for that.”
‘Oh boy, can’t wait,” she teased. With a heavy heart, she turned to Bono. His glare melted as he turned his eyes from Larry to her. She could tell he was jealous. “I’m sure our paths will cross in New York.”
“They better,” he said. He was careful to not hug too tight or too long. He kissed her cheek. “Goodnight Gloria.”
They both watched her slip behind her front door with a wave. Together, they turned and walked towards home.
“When is our flight again?” Larry asked.
“Tuesday morning,” Bono answered. “I fly to New York sometime next week, depending on how the recording goes.”
“How goes the Spiderman rehearsals?” Larry asked.
Bono shrugged. “We’ll find out in a few weeks when they start dress rehearsal. Even though it’s not time off, it will be nice to have time off from touring.” Bono reached his street. “This is where I leave you.”
“Night, mate,” Larry clapped his back. He turned and whistled down the lane to his house. He didn’t look forward to his big empty house, but he felt good about the ways were left with Gloria. It was a start - as tiny as it was.
Bono started for his house. As soon as Larry was out of sight, he double-backed down some side streets towards Gloria’s. He needed to kiss her one last time. He couldn’t be sure that Edge or Adam wouldn’t pass by. The back of Gloria’s flat faced a small harbor beach. He scrambled down the stairs and walked on the beach looking for hers. He was going to have to scale a seawall to get to her back deck. What things men do for love. Placing his palms on the sea wall, he hopped up. He landed flat on his belly and after a few tries, swung his legs up on the wall. He was glad for a cloudy night so no one would see him. Catching his breath, he stared up at her house. The lights were still on - thankfully. He hopped off the sea wall and looked at her deck. It was really high.
Gloria wheeled that last of her suitcases to the front door. She moved back to the kitchen to have some water before turning in for the night. Her computer bag sat on the table ready to go. Leaning against the counter, she sipped her water thinking back on the night. A strange noise outside made her jump. Dear God, she was getting robbed on her last night here. What were the odds? She grabbed a broom and held it like a baseball bat. She squinted out her sliding glass doors and waited for the intruder to step into the light. The scuffling noise made her wonder if it was an animal looking for food. The groaning and swearing quickly quelled that suspicion. The voice was familiar. Bono stumbled into the pool of light on her deck.
“What the?” Gloria muttered.
He brushed off his shirt and pants. With a wince, he straightened his back. His reward for nearly killing himself was Gloria opening her slider to him.
“What are you doing?” she demanded.
“I wanted to see before you left,” he panted still a little winded.
“And the front door was not romantic enough for you?” she asked.
“I didn’t want to be seen. I didn’t know if Larry was sulking around outside,” he walked into the kitchen.
“You climbed my deck?” she could not believe it.
“I used the stairs, but your gate was locked and I couldn’t unlock it from the other side. I did have to scale that,” he rolled up his shirt sleeves. He was bleeding from a few scrapes.
“You could have really hurt yourself,” she took his hand and led him to the sink. With a cloth, she wiped away the blood on his forearm. He watched her tend to his wound with a satisfied smile on his lips.
“Please don’t make me leave tonight,” he asked quietly.
“I need to get some sleep,” she said.
“Then you sleep and I’ll watch you,” he moved closer.
“Yeah, cause that’s not creepy,” she rolled her eyes.
“You never minded before,” he whispered as he drew closer. “I couldn’t let that be our goodbye.” He nuzzled her neck. “See? I shaved for you.”
She kissed him with everything in her. Tomorrow could wait. She would have to quit him cold turkey. The next week would be the toughest. She had seen him every day for over 2 months. She missed him already. Even as they held each other tightly fully clothed on her bed - pressing their hearts together. She did drift off to sleep with his arms wrapped tightly around her. He had no idea how he would survive this break. Ether his life would recapture him and this would be a dream or he would need to make some difficult decisions. Instead of a harsh alarm, she woke to kisses on her cheeks and neck. She smiled and didn’t want to be one time for that plane. She hated that damn plane that would take her away from here. It was still dark outside.
“You should go,” she said sadly.
He groaned and rolled on top of her. “If I stay here, you won’t be able to get up and you can’t leave.”
She laughed and flipped him over so she was on him. She turned on her bedside lamp. Her finger traced the scar on his chin. “I can see it now.”
“Can you take a later plane?” His blue eyes pleaded.
Sighing, she shook her head. “It won’t make this easier. I have to go.” She sat up. “Your family needs you.”
“You aren’t leaving again, are you?” he bolted upright.
“What do you mean? I’m going home,” she said.
“No, I meant leaving me. Like you did during Zoo Tv,” he said.
The hurt was mirrored in his eyes. “We have no way of knowing what’s gong to happen. Right now, we just have to go on living until we see each other again - and then see what we feel. But I wouldn’t call that leaving you,” she took his hand.
He kissed her palm. “Those were dark days. Japan was such a blur after you left.”
“I wasn’t happy either. I had to go. Things between us were different . It felt very uneven. It’s different this time. It wasn’t easy to leave then. Now, well.....” her voice trailed off. At the moment, she knew she did not have the strength to leave this. Perhaps some distance would give her that strength to return him to his family.
Bono left Gloria the way he came in - out the back and scaling down a wall. He buried his head in his shirt as a light rain fell on his head. The rain mingled with his tears. He knew he would see her again. Would it be different? Would he feel the same? He couldn’t imagine just falling out love with her like that. How was he going to return to his family and Ali and be what they wanted and needed? Right now, he needed sleep. He did watch her all night trying to remember everything about her. He needed to keep that close to his heart to carry him until he saw her again.
I think Bono's speech was brilliant - just the sort of thing he would say. I'm beginning to wonder whether Larry and Gloria will really ever get together - I can't see Larry forgiving a second affair between her and Bono based on his reactions so far. Then again, that's if anyone ever finds out... Hmmm, I'm really enjoying this, and can't wait to see where it goes 
Too bad I can't be a blame for Edge's hangover or two. 
