dianepm
Professional Insomniac
Right, so. Some of you may remember me. I haven't written anything in a long long time. For a lot of reasons. Mostly confidence or lack thereof.
My friend Alison..or Alisaura...has been a huge help. This was written in a couple of hours. I don't know why or how but when I suggested we start a new story this just kinda came out. I love it when that happens.
It's dark. The beginning has suicidal themes. It gets better.
It's AU in the sense of Bono's relationship but it's present day Bono...in my head anyway.
According to Alison the title is a Porcupine Tree song.
and btw..she is an awesome beta..
on with the show...........
The woman sitting on the rocks didn’t notice anything around her she was so lost in her own thoughts.
Her arms were wrapped around her knees and she was breathing hard.
“How can I go on without them?” she thought to herself.
The sun was sitting low in the sky and it was starting to get chilly but she didn’t notice.
-------------------------
Bono stormed out of his house and ignored his name being yelled at him by his wife. They had had yet another fight and he was getting kind of sick of the whole thing. He was almost to the point where he wanted to give up on his marriage.
He got into his car and just drove down the highway.
After awhile he stopped and pulled over. He got out of the car and starting walking down the beach toward some rocks.
When he got almost to the rocks he noticed someone sitting there. He went to turn back when she got up and started going into the water.
-----------------------------
Andrea had lost her husband and daughter a few months ago. She and her husband had the trip to Ireland all planned and booked when a drunk driver took them away from her.
Despite her family thinking it was really not a good idea she went anyway.
She thought the trip would help. It hadn’t.
After sitting on the rocks for a few hours she had come to the end of her rope.
After saying silent goodbyes in her head she started to walk toward the water.
----------------------------
Bono just stood there lost in his own thoughts as the woman walked into the water and didn’t stop. He saw her go under and was waiting for her to surface.
She didn’t.
Without even thinking he dove in.
The current was strong and kept pulling them both under. He didn’t know if he could make it out or not. He wasn’t sure if he cared either way.
After a few minutes he finally was able to start pulling her to the shore.
“Let me go!” she yelled. “Let me die!”
She got loose and started running toward the water again. Bono caught her and just pushed her to the sand.
She just started crying really hard and Bono held her not knowing what else to do.
After a long while she stopped and started shivering.
Bono held her closer and was finally able to get a good look at her.
“What’s your name?”
“A..Andrea” she said with chattering teeth.
“Well Andrea, we should get somewhere warm. We’re gonna end up getting sick.”
She just looked at his face.
“Ok.”
Bono got up and helped Andrea to his car. He turned on the heater and aimed the vents toward them.
“Why...” Bono started saying.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” she said tersely.
“Can I drive you home?”
“I doubt you can drive to Canada.”
“Yeah, that’s a little far,” he said trying to get a smile of some sort out of her. “What about your hotel?”
“I checked out. I wasn’t planning on going back.”
“Oh.”
Bono tried hard to think of where they could go. He obviously didn’t want to take her home. He didn’t feel right about just leaving her though.
He decided to take her to his apartment in the city. He kept it so that when they came off tour he had somewhere to go and decompress and not have Ali always around. He could get a little intense after a tour.
“We’re going to my place.”
She looked at him and was trying to decide if he could be trusted. Not that she really cared. If he ended up being a killer it would save her the trouble.
“Sure. Whatever.”
After a half hour or so the car came to a stop.
“After you.” Bono waved his arm toward the door.
“Evening Bono,” the doorman said as he opened it for the pair.
Bono just nodded his head at him.
After getting into his apartment he showed her where everything was and went to get changed into some dry clothes.
When he came back out she was still sitting on the couch shivering.
He went back into his room and got a sweater and went out to put it on her.
“So......” Bono started.
“Really, I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Well, I would like to know why I had to dive in and save you.”
“You didn’t have to.”
“Yes, I did. I can’t just watch someone try to kill themselves and not do anything.”
“I didn’t want to be saved.”
Bono gave up. He knew he wasn’t going to get anywhere.
“You can sleep in the guest room.”
Andrea got up and went into the guest room and shut the door.
-------------
Later that night Bono woke up. He thought he heard a sound a few seconds later. He got up and moved quietly to his bedroom door.
When he opened it he saw Andrea leaving.
“Hey!” He called after her.
She started to walk quickly toward the elevator when he caught up to her.
“Don’t! Just leave me alone.”
He didn’t know why he wanted to help her so much, but he was going to whether she wanted him to or not.
“Maybe you’re trying to save yourself” a little voice said in the back of his head.
“I can’t just leave you alone. I want to help.”
“No one can help me.”
He took her hand and said “Just come back and if you still want to leave in the morning then you can just go.”
She thought about it for a minute and went back into the apartment.
----------------------------
The next morning he woke up and half expected her not to be there.
When he looked in the guest room she was sleeping.
He went back out to the living room and sat on the couch. He tried to figure out exactly why he was having the reaction he was having.
He knew he couldn’t just watch her die. That was just him. But why did he bring her home?
He knew he was depressed. Did he see himself in her? He didn’t think so. He knew the guys were watching him a little more closely lately but that could just be because they wanted him to write some songs. Any songs. The more he couldn’t get anything out the more annoyed they got at him.
Did they not realize what it takes to be able to write? Edge maybe, but definitely not Adam or Larry. Sure, they had musical ideas but neither of them could write a cereal jingle, never mind a song.
Lately every time they were in the studio it ended in a shouting match. He didn’t go into the studio as much lately.
He looked up and saw Andrea just staring at him.
“You’re.........”
Bono sighed as he braced himself for what was coming.
“Yeah, I am.”
“Oh. I thought you seemed familiar last night but I didn’t really think about it.”
After a few more minutes she asked “Where’s your wife?”
She thought it was strange that he had an apartment. She was pretty sure he had a wife. She wasn’t a super U2 fan but she knew enough about them to know that.
Bono just shut down. “I don’t wanna talk about that.”
“Well,” she looked around awkwardly. “I should go.”
“Go where?”
“Home. I couldn’t sleep last night and thought about a few things.” She looked at him. “I lost my family. And it’s hard. So very very hard. But they would want me to honour their memory, not diminish it.”
Bono nodded his head.
“I can’t say I won’t have a hard time dealing with it. But I hope I can live with knowing I had them and lost them.”
“What made you think that way? When I left you last night you were trying to get away.”
“Someone helped me during the worst time in my life. You didn’t have to. You just did. You don’t know how much that means. I thought that it was exactly what my husband would do in the same situation. I can’t get over the feeling that he sent you.”
Bono just looked at her. He didn't really believe in that kind of thing.
“I don’t know about that, but I couldn't just stand there and do nothing. I’d hope someone would do the same for me.”
“I hope you never have to find out. Maybe you should try talking to someone? Your wife maybe?”
Bono just looked at her. “Maybe.......”
“No maybe. Life is short. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in the last few months it’s that. Tell your family how much you love them before it’s too late.”
“I’ll.....yeah..I will.”
“Well.......I should probably go.” She walked over to Bono and leaned down to kiss him on the cheek.
“Thank you. I’ll never forget this.”
“Me neither.” He stood up and hugged her. They held on for a few minutes and then she turned and left.
Bono sat down again and reached for the phone. He stared at it for a few minutes before pressing the buttons.
“Ali? I’m sorry I yelled. I love you.”
The End.
My friend Alison..or Alisaura...has been a huge help. This was written in a couple of hours. I don't know why or how but when I suggested we start a new story this just kinda came out. I love it when that happens.
It's dark. The beginning has suicidal themes. It gets better.
It's AU in the sense of Bono's relationship but it's present day Bono...in my head anyway.
According to Alison the title is a Porcupine Tree song.
and btw..she is an awesome beta..
on with the show...........
The woman sitting on the rocks didn’t notice anything around her she was so lost in her own thoughts.
Her arms were wrapped around her knees and she was breathing hard.
“How can I go on without them?” she thought to herself.
The sun was sitting low in the sky and it was starting to get chilly but she didn’t notice.
-------------------------
Bono stormed out of his house and ignored his name being yelled at him by his wife. They had had yet another fight and he was getting kind of sick of the whole thing. He was almost to the point where he wanted to give up on his marriage.
He got into his car and just drove down the highway.
After awhile he stopped and pulled over. He got out of the car and starting walking down the beach toward some rocks.
When he got almost to the rocks he noticed someone sitting there. He went to turn back when she got up and started going into the water.
-----------------------------
Andrea had lost her husband and daughter a few months ago. She and her husband had the trip to Ireland all planned and booked when a drunk driver took them away from her.
Despite her family thinking it was really not a good idea she went anyway.
She thought the trip would help. It hadn’t.
After sitting on the rocks for a few hours she had come to the end of her rope.
After saying silent goodbyes in her head she started to walk toward the water.
----------------------------
Bono just stood there lost in his own thoughts as the woman walked into the water and didn’t stop. He saw her go under and was waiting for her to surface.
She didn’t.
Without even thinking he dove in.
The current was strong and kept pulling them both under. He didn’t know if he could make it out or not. He wasn’t sure if he cared either way.
After a few minutes he finally was able to start pulling her to the shore.
“Let me go!” she yelled. “Let me die!”
She got loose and started running toward the water again. Bono caught her and just pushed her to the sand.
She just started crying really hard and Bono held her not knowing what else to do.
After a long while she stopped and started shivering.
Bono held her closer and was finally able to get a good look at her.
“What’s your name?”
“A..Andrea” she said with chattering teeth.
“Well Andrea, we should get somewhere warm. We’re gonna end up getting sick.”
She just looked at his face.
“Ok.”
Bono got up and helped Andrea to his car. He turned on the heater and aimed the vents toward them.
“Why...” Bono started saying.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” she said tersely.
“Can I drive you home?”
“I doubt you can drive to Canada.”
“Yeah, that’s a little far,” he said trying to get a smile of some sort out of her. “What about your hotel?”
“I checked out. I wasn’t planning on going back.”
“Oh.”
Bono tried hard to think of where they could go. He obviously didn’t want to take her home. He didn’t feel right about just leaving her though.
He decided to take her to his apartment in the city. He kept it so that when they came off tour he had somewhere to go and decompress and not have Ali always around. He could get a little intense after a tour.
“We’re going to my place.”
She looked at him and was trying to decide if he could be trusted. Not that she really cared. If he ended up being a killer it would save her the trouble.
“Sure. Whatever.”
After a half hour or so the car came to a stop.
“After you.” Bono waved his arm toward the door.
“Evening Bono,” the doorman said as he opened it for the pair.
Bono just nodded his head at him.
After getting into his apartment he showed her where everything was and went to get changed into some dry clothes.
When he came back out she was still sitting on the couch shivering.
He went back into his room and got a sweater and went out to put it on her.
“So......” Bono started.
“Really, I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Well, I would like to know why I had to dive in and save you.”
“You didn’t have to.”
“Yes, I did. I can’t just watch someone try to kill themselves and not do anything.”
“I didn’t want to be saved.”
Bono gave up. He knew he wasn’t going to get anywhere.
“You can sleep in the guest room.”
Andrea got up and went into the guest room and shut the door.
-------------
Later that night Bono woke up. He thought he heard a sound a few seconds later. He got up and moved quietly to his bedroom door.
When he opened it he saw Andrea leaving.
“Hey!” He called after her.
She started to walk quickly toward the elevator when he caught up to her.
“Don’t! Just leave me alone.”
He didn’t know why he wanted to help her so much, but he was going to whether she wanted him to or not.
“Maybe you’re trying to save yourself” a little voice said in the back of his head.
“I can’t just leave you alone. I want to help.”
“No one can help me.”
He took her hand and said “Just come back and if you still want to leave in the morning then you can just go.”
She thought about it for a minute and went back into the apartment.
----------------------------
The next morning he woke up and half expected her not to be there.
When he looked in the guest room she was sleeping.
He went back out to the living room and sat on the couch. He tried to figure out exactly why he was having the reaction he was having.
He knew he couldn’t just watch her die. That was just him. But why did he bring her home?
He knew he was depressed. Did he see himself in her? He didn’t think so. He knew the guys were watching him a little more closely lately but that could just be because they wanted him to write some songs. Any songs. The more he couldn’t get anything out the more annoyed they got at him.
Did they not realize what it takes to be able to write? Edge maybe, but definitely not Adam or Larry. Sure, they had musical ideas but neither of them could write a cereal jingle, never mind a song.
Lately every time they were in the studio it ended in a shouting match. He didn’t go into the studio as much lately.
He looked up and saw Andrea just staring at him.
“You’re.........”
Bono sighed as he braced himself for what was coming.
“Yeah, I am.”
“Oh. I thought you seemed familiar last night but I didn’t really think about it.”
After a few more minutes she asked “Where’s your wife?”
She thought it was strange that he had an apartment. She was pretty sure he had a wife. She wasn’t a super U2 fan but she knew enough about them to know that.
Bono just shut down. “I don’t wanna talk about that.”
“Well,” she looked around awkwardly. “I should go.”
“Go where?”
“Home. I couldn’t sleep last night and thought about a few things.” She looked at him. “I lost my family. And it’s hard. So very very hard. But they would want me to honour their memory, not diminish it.”
Bono nodded his head.
“I can’t say I won’t have a hard time dealing with it. But I hope I can live with knowing I had them and lost them.”
“What made you think that way? When I left you last night you were trying to get away.”
“Someone helped me during the worst time in my life. You didn’t have to. You just did. You don’t know how much that means. I thought that it was exactly what my husband would do in the same situation. I can’t get over the feeling that he sent you.”
Bono just looked at her. He didn't really believe in that kind of thing.
“I don’t know about that, but I couldn't just stand there and do nothing. I’d hope someone would do the same for me.”
“I hope you never have to find out. Maybe you should try talking to someone? Your wife maybe?”
Bono just looked at her. “Maybe.......”
“No maybe. Life is short. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in the last few months it’s that. Tell your family how much you love them before it’s too late.”
“I’ll.....yeah..I will.”
“Well.......I should probably go.” She walked over to Bono and leaned down to kiss him on the cheek.
“Thank you. I’ll never forget this.”
“Me neither.” He stood up and hugged her. They held on for a few minutes and then she turned and left.
Bono sat down again and reached for the phone. He stared at it for a few minutes before pressing the buttons.
“Ali? I’m sorry I yelled. I love you.”
The End.
