Dancing With The Devil ch. 14 - U2 Feedback

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Old 02-07-2011, 05:19 PM   #1
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Dancing With The Devil ch. 14

I hope you like. More is coming really quickly... I think.
(I've started using the cliche of ending chapters with the character falling asleep. MUST CHANGE.)
Never happened, blah...

We arrive at the hotel at night. I sleep most of the way, and partially awake in the middle of the journey when the bus stops. I murmur for someone, reaching out, and Eric’s voice says, “They’re just changing drivers. Go back to sleep.” I do and now I am once again woken from my sleep by Eric, now that we’re at the hotel. This time he doesn’t say a word, only to ask me if I have any money for a room. I shake my head, and he shrugs. “You can stay in my room then.”
I’m staying in Eric’s room? That sounds… well, it sounds a little too close for me. I want to crash- it’s midnight now- but the thought of him watching me sleep freaks me out. Maybe I can stay with someone else.
We enter the hotel, and I marvel at how the entourage barely gets a glance in their direction. This hotel must see greater celebrities than U2.Wait- now I’m part of the entourage, aren’t I? Even though I don’t actually have a job… I blink and stretch repeatedly, feeling exactly like someone who’s slept in the same position for too long, and look around for the band. I wonder if they’ve entered yet?
While I’m scanning for the band, my eyes catch onto a familiar man. We’re nearing the counter- each of us have to get keys to our rooms- and before I can look away, he’s holding my gaze with bright blue eyes.
“Mari-“
I avert my gaze quickly and duck to the side of the crewman in front of me. My heart beats hard, and I know Bono’s recognized me. Eric spies me trying to keep a low profile and squeezes onto my other side, creating a sandwich with the unknown crewman. Eric murmurs to him, “Please stay here for a moment,” and the guy obeys. Eric takes his room keys and leads me away, moving in the opposite direction of Bono.
But it’s too late. Once we’re away from the throng of people, Bono finds me all too easily. He was watching the entourage closely, and when we break apart from them he strides on over to our side, calling again- “Marieke?”
Eric tries to steer me away, but I will not be steered. I break free of him and stroll up to meet Bono- he already knows I’m here, and there’s really no point in hiding from him.
“Hello, Bono,” I murmur casually, trying to perfect my tone to normality. “How are-“
God, it really is… What are you doing here?” He has his jacket unzipped, arms crossed over a dark shirt that shows just the right amount of chest…
I shake myself. He’s not smiling, but that doesn’t have to mean he’s angry. All I’ve heard in his voice so far was gentle disbelief. I try to work the words out in my head. “I’m here for you.”
Oops. Did that sound creepy? Bono’s still not smiling, and he rocks on his feet, slowly shifting his weight. It dawns on me that he’s waiting for something… almost like an annoyed parent trying to send their child to his room.
By now the rest of the band’s taken notice. I spy them for the first time, on the other side of the Zoo TV crew. Adam and Larry hang back, but Edge can’t hide his curiosity. He moves up, asking “What’s going on?”
“Ask her,” Bono replies- not a good sign. Is he really mad at me? I look over to Edge, whose own eyes have caught on me and widened.
“Eric said I could be in the crew,” I sigh, my voice scraping the air. “You can put me home now.”
Now Adam and Larry are perking up their ears. Adam takes a step towards our little group. Bono turns to Edge, turns to me, stares at Eric, and then finally says, “Marieke, come on with me.” He turns, motioning to the lift.
“Hey, wait!” Eric shouts as I follow Bono. The singer gives him a look. “Eric, I want to talk to Marieke alone. You can stand to be parted with her, can’t you?”
I’ll willingly talk with Bono alone, but Eric is definitely not happy about that. He opens his mouth, and then swallows the words, sighing and saying, “You can find me in Room 1-37.” I nod, repeat the number to myself, and leave him behind. Bono and I walk into the lift. The other band members join us, and I see Adam flashing Eric a glance before the doors shut.
It’s tense inside the lift. I want to turn and look at Bono, but I don’t dare. He punches in the floor number, and we zoom upwards. The guys are all quiet, their focus all on my face, but when I glance at them they avert their eyes and stare at the roof and floor, their hands or feet. Even the members of U2 are like any other men.
It’s a surprise no one talks as we travel upwards. Maybe they’re waiting for me to speak first. Well, I’m not going to do that. We arrive at our floor and Bono takes my hand to lead me out. I flush- he’s so close! Then I jump as the other men escape. “C’mon,” Bono urges, and takes me down the hall to his room- or rather, his suite.
Bono unlocks the door, and I gawk while the others file in. The room is so big- so big and friendly, and that bed looks quite comfortable… I forget myself as exhaustion sweeps over. Oh, I wish I were sleeping right now… Pretty ironic considering all I’ve done on this journey to Spain is sleep.
“I’m about to pass out,” Adam offers, voicing my thoughts. He sits down on the floor. Larry stays on his feet, but Edge settles himself carefully in a chair.
“I thought you wanted to talk with Marieke alone,” Edge reminds his friend. He gives me a curious glance. “We’ll leave if you want, Bono.” Which makes me wonder why they came in in the first place.
“Well…” Bono’s voice echoes from the bathroom, and I catch a glimpse of his reflection in the glass- “Adam’s about ready to pass out, and I know I am, so it really doesn’t matter if you stay. We should get this sorted out together.” He emerges from the bathroom and comes over to me. “Well now. Are you confused at all?”
God… I answer him with an emphatic “Yes.”
“I would assume that. I’m just as confused as you are, love.” Love…? I hug myself as he continues, “What brings you here?”
“Eric…” The words feel hard in my mouth. “Eric said he could give me a job in the crew. He said you didn’t hire the fans. I want the job.”
“What kind of job did he have in mind?” Edge wants to know.
“I… don’t know…” My voice is faltering. “I… there are all men in jobs, and I don’t… cannot… there is nothing…”
Bono helps me finish. “You think there’s nothing available to you? It’s all right, we won’t drive you away.”
“Why did Eric give that offer?” Larry articulates. “That’s not his right to give. He should have consulted with us first…”
“Or the manager at the very least,” Bono sighs. “Well, Marieke, I can’t say I’m happy you’re here, but then I’m too tired to stand straight.” He chuckles. “Do you have a room?”
“Wait- so she’s staying?” Larry asks.
Bono looks at me. “Are you?”
My voice rushes out all at once. “I wanted always to do a job with the band! I love U2.” A few stifled laughs come from around me, but I venture on- “Don’t put me home. I will work for you.”
Bono gazes around before setting his sights back on me. “Looks like you’re staying for now. If you really want to do this…”
“Yes!” I emphasize.
He smiles. “Who am I to deny you? Now back to basics. Have you got a room yet?”
I try to answer him, but am suddenly interrupted by Larry again. “Bono, what is she going to do on tour? There’s no room for another woman here…”
I’m unhappy. Maybe he’s just tired, but I don’t like Larry criticizing women like that. I want to defend myself, but Bono speaks for me.
“It’s too late to be thinking about it yet, Lar. I’m dead beat.” He glances down at the carpet. “Adam crashed.”
“No, I’m awake,” Adam insists faintly, his eyes shut tight.
Larry glowers, but I’m too sleepy to care. Bono drags my attention back to him- “Back to the question! Marieke, have you got a room?”
“I’m being with Eric,” I tell him.
“You think you can find your way back?”
“Yes,” I reply, a bit bemused. It was only down the hall and down the lift.
He comes closer and suddenly I’m in his arms- “Take care, Marieke.” Before I can react, his body is gone from mine. I watch him stand back as I stand up and slip quietly out the door.
Once she is gone, Larry faces Bono again and asks, “Tell me again. What is she going to do here?”
Bono runs his fingers through his hair, in need of a washing. He answers patiently- “We don’t know yet. There are plenty of jobs to go around here. I’m sure the crew will have an idea where to fit her.”
“You’re just a sucker for the pretty ones, Bono,” Larry complains.
The singer sighs. “Let’s get some sleep. We’ll be refreshed in the morning.” He whips his head to face Edge and Adam. “Are you two staying here or what?”
Larry takes this as a sign to leave and opens the door. The Edge pokes Adam awake.
“Get it off me,” Adam mumbles blearily.
“Wake up,” Edge murmurs. “Time to leave.”
As the remaining three men hurry out the door of Bono’s suite, Edge mutters, “She won’t replace Morleigh,” before the door closes.
Bono smiles.
***
I take the lift back down to the first floor and drag myself off to Eric’s room. I don’t care if it’s remotely awkward now- I have to have someplace to stay. Even though there’s no doubt I’ll be on the couch, like the months after I first moved in to Lina’s.
I knock at the door and he’s there, pulling it away to reveal a light room. I stumble in, and Eric touches my arm- “The bed’s over there.” He stands nervously, waiting for something.
“But- you-“ I protest, shaking him off me. Instead of the bed he offers, I fall upon the couch. He hovers over me, whispering my name confusedly.
“No, you are sleeping,” I murmur back, motioning to his bed. And then darkness crashes around me. For the second time in a row, I sleep in my clothes.
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Old 02-08-2011, 01:11 AM   #2
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Veeeery awkward. Eric is problematic...and I always do characters falling asleep at the end! Hehehe. I need to get out of that habit, but...it's so strange not to end then...
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Old 02-08-2011, 05:34 PM   #3
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This was a very hard chapter to revise. It needed a lot of editing, but it was hard to decide what to fix and what to keep... I almost rewrote it.
Y'know what? Something always happens to my male characters that turns me off of them. I still don't know how I feel about Eric... but I'm not making excuses, I'm just saying that I don't write guys very well.
The falling-asleep-thing just works so well. *sigh*
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Old 02-08-2011, 05:53 PM   #4
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I actually like a lot of my male characters, it's just guys in real life I don't like much normally. They are a little harder, though, since I'm not one and can't properly write from their point of view. I'm always a little mean to them, but ah well.

The falling-asleep thing is natural. I mean, wouldn't it be weird to have it in the middle of a chapter? Yes, yes it would.
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Old 02-08-2011, 05:57 PM   #5
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Right!! (hee, almost wrote it as "write" ) I can end up making them pretty feminine or just... odd, haven't been doing that as lately now though. Funny, it's guys in real life I like, the charcters don't work for me!
Yeah, but you could just put a page break there. But hey, that's the way I write, not you!
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Old 02-08-2011, 06:02 PM   #6
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That is so weird that it's the opposite I don't know, I'll probably be nicer to them once I am exposed to guys who are not jerks. Ah, high school. In the meantime, my men in writing are kind of just based on thoughts, and either kind of quiet or really scary. Bono falls in between, of course. He was fun.

I do that sometimes :P it just doesn't seem right! (had the same 'write' problem just now D
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Old 02-08-2011, 06:21 PM   #7
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I just started high school. There are some cute boys I kinda like... but I'm too shy to talk to them so I never know if their personalities fit the looks. For now I'm just stuck on celebrity crushes...
Usually I just make characters up out of thin air and then am stuck when I realize they have no backstory It's interesting using real people, though, I'm trying to think of what they'd really say or do...
Now the writing chat is over (I'm leaving my house soon) so back to your regular programing.
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Old 02-08-2011, 07:19 PM   #8
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Just started? Goodness! I'm finishing high school this year and the guys are all terrible. Then again, I'm deathly shy. Hopefully I'll be able to change that in college. God. Hehehe...me too...

I love backstories...they're my favorite part of writing. To have a character you don't know suddenly have their personality and past come clear to you is amazing. Part of why writing is such fun ^^ real people means I get to take less liberty and I have to keep checking to see if I'm getting things horribly wrong...making everyone practice in Edge's kitchen or something like I did in ACD (oh no)...or having it rain when it definitely didn't, and so on...

Ok *switches channel off* Have fun!
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Old 02-09-2011, 01:33 AM   #9
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^ Artistic licence is a wonderful thing... Mind you, I'm anal about getting some of the details right... I actually made a chart of moon phases and the JT tour itinerary when I was writing Edgewolf. *L*


Quote:
Originally Posted by BlueSilkenSky View Post
“No, I’m awake,” Adam insists faintly, his eyes shut tight.
and...
Quote:
Originally Posted by BlueSilkenSky View Post
[...] Edge mutters, “She won’t replace Morleigh,” before the door closes.


I like how this story is a bit different, in terms of the position that Marieke is in, and also that it's written in the present tense.

I'm guessing Eric just invited her along in the hopes of scoring... But maybe I'm judging him too harshly. I'll have to wait and see.
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Old 02-09-2011, 09:59 AM   #10
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Quote:
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I'm guessing Eric just invited her along in the hopes of scoring... But maybe I'm judging him too harshly. I'll have to wait and see.
No, I was getting that impression too
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Old 02-09-2011, 07:41 PM   #11
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You'll see, I guess. About to put the next chapter up now!
And thanks for commenting, Ali, I liked what you had to say.
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Old 02-09-2011, 07:46 PM   #12
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Yayyyy!
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