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Old 02-04-2013, 09:31 PM   #1
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Anything At All, Chapter 2

This is a more comic chapter that was a lot of fun to write. I hope you like it.


The band came laughing into the dressing room.


"I think that's one of the loudest rooms we've every played to," said Larry, rubbing his ears. "Felt like they were sitting on our bleeding heads."


"And our crowd was friendly. Can you imagine being the Lakers going in there?" Edge asked.


Bono shook his head. "That's different. A basketball player knows he's gong to get booed when he goes into someone else's house. Even so, I wouldn't want to be in their place." They had all been very aware that there might be hostile crowds when Bono created the Fly. Luckily, Edge thought, their fans seemed able to accept it, whether or not they understood the ironic stance.


"Then all the Irish girls in Boston really would eat you alive," Adam grinned, with a swat to Bono's backside.


"Give me twenty minutes and I'll be ready for them. Christ, I'm knackered." Bono stripped off the shiny jacket, handed it to their dresser and took the water bottle that she already held out. "Great job out there tonight, Larry. By the way, Shane McGowan called. He wants his song back, or he's taking the performance fees out of your arse."


"Send him in," said Larry, stretching comfortably. "Tell him he can have my dentist appointment on Tuesday, too."


Edge began pulling off his sweaty stage clothes out of habit and then stopped. He'd need to dress for Solvieg. Just thinking about it put a pit in his stomach that reminded him of why he'd gotten married to his first real girlfriend. He looked at the clock.


"Adam," he said quietly. "I have a taxi coming in a few minutes to go find Solvieg at the club. Do you want to ride along?"


"You're joking. Edge goes to find the first woman he's noticed in two years? I wouldn't miss it for the world." The ears of the others caught this, inevitably. "Edge has a date to go meet Solvieg the Danish barmaid," Adam explained to the room.


"Solveig the visionary Danish barmaid?" Bono moaned. "How did you do it, Edge? You must kiss her for me. In fact, I'll make you a list of all the things you have to do to her for me-"


"No," Edge interrupted. "That's really okay. I don't actually want to talk about it at all. I just need to get dressed." He looked warily at the open flight cases of wardrobe.


"Date clothes!" Fintan cried. "Let me towel your hair and then we are going to dress you to knock her socks off." Eyes alight with trouble, their ever buoyant hair man beckoned to Nassim. "Get the studded stars trousers, honey." Edge was relentlessly stripped, swiped and toweled, scrambling all while for the dignity of doing something himself. He felt more than a little like Cinderella surrounded by twittering seamstress birds in the cartoon that kept his kids quiet on Saturday mornings. At last he stood in a fresh pair of trousers before a row of deeply interested faces.


"There's that, of course," said Nassim, handing him a black undershirt. "And for the over shirt... should he wear purple?"



Fintan shook his head, eyes narrowed as though considering a mannequin display. "He's better in red."


"I like purple," said Bono.


"Yes, but women like red." Fintan nodded toward Nassim as Exhibit A.






"White."


All heads turned towards Larry, who stood with his thumbs hooked in his belt.


"Hey, guys. Larry thinks he should wear white." Adam announced. They dissolved in snickers at this novelty. "You only say that because everything you own is a white T shirt."


"So you know how it works, then. I rest my case." Larry flashed the wolfish grin that had bought him a ride on Elvis' motorcycle.


"Well, but this is Edge, not you." Bono objected.


"Hey, I resent that. What exactly are you saying?" Edge said.


Larry shrugged. "It's up to him. Does he want to look like a rock star, or like the man she's been dying to have shag her senseless?"


"How are those not the same thing?" Bono asked.


"Long sleeves." Larry said with authority. "Cuffs folded up over the forearm. Three buttons done. Keep the bracelet." After a long look at him, Edge held out his hand for the white shirt. They all watched as he put it on. "No graphics on the hat, either. Too pretentious by half for a date. Go with the plain rib knit cap." Having delivered the final oracle on date clothes, Larry went to get a beer and left them all gawping as if he had been the Spirit of God.




Nassim silently passed the hat over. Edge straightened it over his brows. The weight of five pairs of eyes was as great as any stadium he'd played to.


"By Christ, he was right. You'll do, Edge." Fintan smiled. They stood there looking at him like so many fond mothers snapping photos before a secondary school dance. All, that is, except for the unmotherly gleam in Adam's eye.


"Edge, dear. There's one more thing we should talk about before you go," Adam began. Bono emitted a choked snort. "Things have changed, you know, since the last time you were out with a new girl."


The dressing room was abruptly, unbearably hot. "I think I'll figure it out," Edge said as evenly as he could.


"There are certain precautions a boy needs to take, both for himself as well as for the sake of the girl he's with," Adam continued with perfect seriousness, hands folded primly over his knee. Bono and Fintan broke up completely.


"That's it. I'm out," Edge said. "Taxi in ten if you still want to come." He bolted from the room, pelted by a cascade of shiny silver packets.










Edge was watching the clock closely as he made his appearance in the swirling back stage. All the Irish and the wishful of Boston were eager to begin their St Patrick's day drinking with Ireland's favorite sons, and the room was packed. Edge wondered where he might take Solvieg to avoid them once the crawl began.


He made a conspicuous entry, being careful to show himself to Paul, the Principle staff and most importantly, his own security man. After a few minutes of ostentatious chatting he tucked a beer for the road into either rear pocket and worked his way toward the edges of the room. Just short of the door he turned to check for anyone watching and beheld Bono standing on a chair in the sea of revelers, waving his arms like a semaphore and mouthing the words, fuck her for me. He escaped through deserted halls out into the night.
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Old 02-05-2013, 02:37 PM   #2
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Awesome. I love it, Edge preparing for a date!

Chapter Three?
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Old 02-06-2013, 04:30 AM   #3
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Next week. I'm doing a Charles Dickens and serializing it as a writing discipline. The whole story is drafted but not fine tuned- have patience.

Seriously, I had so much fun with this chapter. It doesn't advance the plot all that much other than to highlight Edge's inexperience, but once I had the idea of the others dressing him I had to run with it. Fintan was a latecomer to the scene but I kind of loved him in there.
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