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"The Simpsons" 20 Best Guest Voices of All Time
By: RYAN STEWART
The TV gods are smiling upon us.
This Sunday, March 26, Fox will air an episode of The Simpsons written by and guest starring Ricky Gervais (BBC's The Office and HBO's Extras.) He'll be playing a David Brent-like character who seduces Marge when the two of them are paired up on a Trading Spouses-type show. It's a bit of an experiment for the show (it was creator Matt Groening's idea) and Gervais told the press he's prouder of this episode than anything else he's done. It's hard to imagine it won't work, but if it is as funny as it sounds, it could shoot up to the top of our list of the greatest Simpsons guest stars of all-time (recurring characters, like Kelsey Grammer as Sideshow Bob, or Joe Mantegna as Fat Tony don’t count.)
20. U2 – "Trash of the Titans" – Homer tries to boost his campaign for sanitation commissioner by crashing a U2 concert (back in the PopMart days.) But he finds the band is an unwilling audience.
Memorable Exchange:
Bono (To Homer): "Ray Patterson is a fine civil servant. Why should the people vote for you?"
The Edge (aside, to Larry Mullen): "Here we go. What do you say we slip out to Moe's for a little bit?"
Adam Clayton: "Can I come too?"
The Edge: "No."
19. Spinal Tap – "The Otto Show" – Spinal Tap play a gig in Springfield that ends in chaos, inspiring Bart to dream of one day becoming a guitar hero himself. Of course, one of the members of Spinal Tap (Derek Smalls) is played by utility cast member Harry Shearer (voice of Mr. Burns, Principal Skinner, and Ned Flanders,) so it's not like they were tough to get.
Memorable Quote:
David St. Hubbins: "Good night Springton. There will be no encore."
18. James Taylor - "Deep Space Homer" - While "average-naut" Homer Simpson is floating in space, NASA brings in folk-pop-rocker James Taylor to sing to the crew (which includes Buzz Aldrin.) Homer reacts accordingly by expressing his awe of "former President James Taylor."
Memorable Quote:
Taylor: "Listen, Aldrin, I'm not as laid-back as people think. Now here's the deal: I'm going to play, and you're going to float there and like it."
17. Johnny Cash - "El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Homer" - Cash voices Homer's spirit animal, a talking coyote who insists Homer must "find his soulmate." (Spoiler alert: it's Marge.)
Memorable Exchange:
Homer: "Well, what should I do? Should I meditate? Should I get rid of all my possessions?"
Coyote: "Are you kidding? If anything, you should get more possessions. You don't even have a computer!"
16. Ann Bancroft - "Fear of Flying" - Bancroft plays Dr. Zweig, the therapist Marge consults to help her get over her fear of flying.
Memorable Quote:
Dr. Zweig: "The Monkees weren't about music, Marge. They were about rebellion and political and social upheaval!"
15. Jackie Mason - "Like Father, Like Clown" - Mason plays - what else? - a rabbi. He's Rabbi Hyman Krustofsky, the estranged father of Herschel Krustofsky, a/k/a Krusty the Klown. Rabbi Krustofsky disowned his son after he discovered his ambition to become an entertainer, and Bart and Lisa take it upon themselves to reunite the two.
Memorable Exchange:
Bart: "We came to talk to you about your son"
Rabbi Krustofsky: "I have no son!"
Bart: "Great. We came all this way and it's the wrong guy."
Rabbi Krustofsky: "I didn't mean that literally!"
14. Stephen Hawking - "They Saved Lisa's Brain" - Hawking shows up to see Springfield now that it's been run by the town's MENSA members. Of course, the town is rapidly deteriorating and Hawking narrowly escapes yet another one of Springfield's many riots.
Memorable Quote:
Hawking: "Your theory of a donut-shaped universe intrigues me, Homer. I may have to steal it."
13. Ron Howard - "When You Dish Upon a Star" - Not sure where they got this idea, but when Homer crashes into Kim Basinger and Alec Baldwin's house, he finds that Howard is a frequent visitor. And he's a frequent visitor of the Baldwin/Basinger liquor cabinet.
Memorable Quote:
Howard: "Homer, we're out of vodka."
12. Mark Hamill – "Mayored to the Mob" – Hamill, appearing at the bi-monthly sci-fi convention, gets mobbed by nerds. Homer rushes to the rescue, causing him to pursue yet another profession – bodyguarding. Hamill, meanwhile, apparently likes Springfield so much he stays in town long enough to play Nathan Detroit in a bizarre diner theater profession of Guys and Dolls featuring such songs as "Luke, be a Jedi Tonight."
Memorable Quote:
Hamill: "Hey pal, that's my headshot up there next to the pepper steak, and don't you forget it!"
11. Leonard Nimoy - "Marge Vs. The Monorail" - When a shyster convinces Springfield to invest in a shoddy monorail, Nimoy is one of the inaugural voyage's first guests.
Memorable Exchange:
Nimoy: "A solar eclipse - the cosmic ballet continues"
Passenger: "Anybody want to switch seats?"
10. Tito Puente - "Who Shot Mr. Burns? (parts one and two)" - When Springfield Elementary strikes oil, they write Tito Puente's music class into the budget. When Mr. Burns takes the school's oil, his program is cut. When Burns is shot, he's a suspect.
Memorable Quote:
Puente: "Why wound his body with bullets when I could set his soul on fire with a slanderous mambo?"
9. John Waters - "Homer's Phobia" - Waters plays a gay antique dealer who helps Homer confront - and overcome - his homophobia.
Memorable Exchange:
Marge: "Oh, Homer, look, a TV Guide owned by Jackie-O!"
Waters: "You should see that crossword puzzle. She thought that Mindy lived with Mark."
Homer: "Give her a break! Her husband was killed!"
8. Donald Sutherland - "Lisa the Iconoclast" - Sutherland wraps his distinct baritone around the memorably named Hollis Hurlbutt, an antiquarian who's devoted his life to the study of town founder Jebediah Springfield. When Lisa learns Springfield was really a murderous pirate, he defends the patriot's legacy at all costs.
Memorable Quote:
Sutherland: "I have nothing but respect for the office of town crier, but this is well beyond your jurisdiction."
7. Winona Ryder - "Lisa's Rival" - Ryder plays Allison Taylor, new to 3rd grade. She's smart and great at sax - in other words, Lisa's better at everything Lisa's good at.
Memorable Exchange:
Lisa: "Hey Ralph, want to come with me and Lisa and play 'anagrams'?"
Allison: "We take proper names and rearrange the letters to form a description of that person."
Ralph: "My cat's breath smells like cat food."
6. The Ramones - "Rosebud" - The band salutes Mr. Burns on his birthday. Burns does not like the performance - "Have the Rolling Stones killed."
Memorable Quote:
Joey Ramone: "I just wanna say that this gig sucks!"
5. Darryl Strawberry - "Homer at the Bat" - Okay, so Ozzie Smith, Mike Scioscia, Jose Canseco, Steve Sax, Ken Griffey Jr., Don Mattingly, Wade Boggs, and Roger Clemens all have classic moments during this episode, but really it's Strawberry - portrayed as a kiss-ass, much to the delight of the other major leaguers who participated according to the DVD commentary - who steals the show. Plus, the "DAR-RYL" thing (producing a single tear) dogged him throughout the rest of his career.
Memorable Quote:
Strawberry - "No hustle either, Skip."
Mr. Burns - "That's right, Darryl."
4. Dustin Hoffman - "Lisa's Substitute" - Hoffman plays Mr. Bergstrom, a substitute teacher who mostly teaches Lisa that there is life beyond the second grade (and the narrow-mindedness of Springfield.) Hoffman wouldn't allow his name to be used to promote the show; the producers invented "Sam Ettic" to replace it (Hoffman, of course, being Jewish, or "Semitic.")
Memorable Quote:
Mr. Bergstrom: "And, for the record, there were a few Jewish cowboys, ladies and gentlemen. Big guys who were great shots and spent freely."
3. Jon Lovitz - "A Streetcar Named Marge" - Lovitz has done Yeoman's work on the show, appearing in no fewer than eight episodes as seven different characters. Artie Ziff (Marge's high school boyfriend) gets the most airplay, and Jay Sherman (his character from The Critic) generated the most buzz, but his most interesting creation was Llewellyn Sinclair, the local theater director, who directs a musical rendition of A Streetcar Named Desire starring Marge as Blanche Du Bois and Ned Flanders as Stanley Kowalski.
Memorable Quote:
Llewellyn Sinclair: "I am not an easy man to work for. While directing 'Hats Off to Hanukah,' I reduced more than one cast member to tears. Did I expect too much from fourth-graders? The review, 'Play Enjoyed By All,' speaks for itself."
2. Glenn Close - "Mother Simpson" - It wasn't until the seventh season that it was revealed that Homer's mother wasn't actually dead; she was just on the lam. She was a 60s radical who wrecked Mr. Burns's germ warfare lab. Glenn Close proved to be a perfect choice for her voice in this touching episode.
Memorable Quote:
Grandma Simpson: "Can't reminisce. Sleeping."
1. Albert Brooks - "You Only Move Twice" - Brooks was one of the first big names to appear on the show (even though he was credited as "A. Brooks,") and has been a guest voice five times. He was never better than when he played Hank Scorpio, who was a friendly, "new-age" boss by day and cartoonish supervillain by night. Homer, who worked for him, was oblivious to all of this.
Memorable Exchange:
Hank Scorpio: "Look at my feet. You like these moccassins? Look in your closet; there's a pair for you. Don't like them? Then neither do I! Get the hell outta here! Ever see a guy say good-bye to a shoe before?
Homer: "Yes, once."
--The Phoenix
By: RYAN STEWART
The TV gods are smiling upon us.
This Sunday, March 26, Fox will air an episode of The Simpsons written by and guest starring Ricky Gervais (BBC's The Office and HBO's Extras.) He'll be playing a David Brent-like character who seduces Marge when the two of them are paired up on a Trading Spouses-type show. It's a bit of an experiment for the show (it was creator Matt Groening's idea) and Gervais told the press he's prouder of this episode than anything else he's done. It's hard to imagine it won't work, but if it is as funny as it sounds, it could shoot up to the top of our list of the greatest Simpsons guest stars of all-time (recurring characters, like Kelsey Grammer as Sideshow Bob, or Joe Mantegna as Fat Tony don’t count.)
20. U2 – "Trash of the Titans" – Homer tries to boost his campaign for sanitation commissioner by crashing a U2 concert (back in the PopMart days.) But he finds the band is an unwilling audience.
Memorable Exchange:
Bono (To Homer): "Ray Patterson is a fine civil servant. Why should the people vote for you?"
The Edge (aside, to Larry Mullen): "Here we go. What do you say we slip out to Moe's for a little bit?"
Adam Clayton: "Can I come too?"
The Edge: "No."
19. Spinal Tap – "The Otto Show" – Spinal Tap play a gig in Springfield that ends in chaos, inspiring Bart to dream of one day becoming a guitar hero himself. Of course, one of the members of Spinal Tap (Derek Smalls) is played by utility cast member Harry Shearer (voice of Mr. Burns, Principal Skinner, and Ned Flanders,) so it's not like they were tough to get.
Memorable Quote:
David St. Hubbins: "Good night Springton. There will be no encore."
18. James Taylor - "Deep Space Homer" - While "average-naut" Homer Simpson is floating in space, NASA brings in folk-pop-rocker James Taylor to sing to the crew (which includes Buzz Aldrin.) Homer reacts accordingly by expressing his awe of "former President James Taylor."
Memorable Quote:
Taylor: "Listen, Aldrin, I'm not as laid-back as people think. Now here's the deal: I'm going to play, and you're going to float there and like it."
17. Johnny Cash - "El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Homer" - Cash voices Homer's spirit animal, a talking coyote who insists Homer must "find his soulmate." (Spoiler alert: it's Marge.)
Memorable Exchange:
Homer: "Well, what should I do? Should I meditate? Should I get rid of all my possessions?"
Coyote: "Are you kidding? If anything, you should get more possessions. You don't even have a computer!"
16. Ann Bancroft - "Fear of Flying" - Bancroft plays Dr. Zweig, the therapist Marge consults to help her get over her fear of flying.
Memorable Quote:
Dr. Zweig: "The Monkees weren't about music, Marge. They were about rebellion and political and social upheaval!"
15. Jackie Mason - "Like Father, Like Clown" - Mason plays - what else? - a rabbi. He's Rabbi Hyman Krustofsky, the estranged father of Herschel Krustofsky, a/k/a Krusty the Klown. Rabbi Krustofsky disowned his son after he discovered his ambition to become an entertainer, and Bart and Lisa take it upon themselves to reunite the two.
Memorable Exchange:
Bart: "We came to talk to you about your son"
Rabbi Krustofsky: "I have no son!"
Bart: "Great. We came all this way and it's the wrong guy."
Rabbi Krustofsky: "I didn't mean that literally!"
14. Stephen Hawking - "They Saved Lisa's Brain" - Hawking shows up to see Springfield now that it's been run by the town's MENSA members. Of course, the town is rapidly deteriorating and Hawking narrowly escapes yet another one of Springfield's many riots.
Memorable Quote:
Hawking: "Your theory of a donut-shaped universe intrigues me, Homer. I may have to steal it."
13. Ron Howard - "When You Dish Upon a Star" - Not sure where they got this idea, but when Homer crashes into Kim Basinger and Alec Baldwin's house, he finds that Howard is a frequent visitor. And he's a frequent visitor of the Baldwin/Basinger liquor cabinet.
Memorable Quote:
Howard: "Homer, we're out of vodka."
12. Mark Hamill – "Mayored to the Mob" – Hamill, appearing at the bi-monthly sci-fi convention, gets mobbed by nerds. Homer rushes to the rescue, causing him to pursue yet another profession – bodyguarding. Hamill, meanwhile, apparently likes Springfield so much he stays in town long enough to play Nathan Detroit in a bizarre diner theater profession of Guys and Dolls featuring such songs as "Luke, be a Jedi Tonight."
Memorable Quote:
Hamill: "Hey pal, that's my headshot up there next to the pepper steak, and don't you forget it!"
11. Leonard Nimoy - "Marge Vs. The Monorail" - When a shyster convinces Springfield to invest in a shoddy monorail, Nimoy is one of the inaugural voyage's first guests.
Memorable Exchange:
Nimoy: "A solar eclipse - the cosmic ballet continues"
Passenger: "Anybody want to switch seats?"
10. Tito Puente - "Who Shot Mr. Burns? (parts one and two)" - When Springfield Elementary strikes oil, they write Tito Puente's music class into the budget. When Mr. Burns takes the school's oil, his program is cut. When Burns is shot, he's a suspect.
Memorable Quote:
Puente: "Why wound his body with bullets when I could set his soul on fire with a slanderous mambo?"
9. John Waters - "Homer's Phobia" - Waters plays a gay antique dealer who helps Homer confront - and overcome - his homophobia.
Memorable Exchange:
Marge: "Oh, Homer, look, a TV Guide owned by Jackie-O!"
Waters: "You should see that crossword puzzle. She thought that Mindy lived with Mark."
Homer: "Give her a break! Her husband was killed!"
8. Donald Sutherland - "Lisa the Iconoclast" - Sutherland wraps his distinct baritone around the memorably named Hollis Hurlbutt, an antiquarian who's devoted his life to the study of town founder Jebediah Springfield. When Lisa learns Springfield was really a murderous pirate, he defends the patriot's legacy at all costs.
Memorable Quote:
Sutherland: "I have nothing but respect for the office of town crier, but this is well beyond your jurisdiction."
7. Winona Ryder - "Lisa's Rival" - Ryder plays Allison Taylor, new to 3rd grade. She's smart and great at sax - in other words, Lisa's better at everything Lisa's good at.
Memorable Exchange:
Lisa: "Hey Ralph, want to come with me and Lisa and play 'anagrams'?"
Allison: "We take proper names and rearrange the letters to form a description of that person."
Ralph: "My cat's breath smells like cat food."
6. The Ramones - "Rosebud" - The band salutes Mr. Burns on his birthday. Burns does not like the performance - "Have the Rolling Stones killed."
Memorable Quote:
Joey Ramone: "I just wanna say that this gig sucks!"
5. Darryl Strawberry - "Homer at the Bat" - Okay, so Ozzie Smith, Mike Scioscia, Jose Canseco, Steve Sax, Ken Griffey Jr., Don Mattingly, Wade Boggs, and Roger Clemens all have classic moments during this episode, but really it's Strawberry - portrayed as a kiss-ass, much to the delight of the other major leaguers who participated according to the DVD commentary - who steals the show. Plus, the "DAR-RYL" thing (producing a single tear) dogged him throughout the rest of his career.
Memorable Quote:
Strawberry - "No hustle either, Skip."
Mr. Burns - "That's right, Darryl."
4. Dustin Hoffman - "Lisa's Substitute" - Hoffman plays Mr. Bergstrom, a substitute teacher who mostly teaches Lisa that there is life beyond the second grade (and the narrow-mindedness of Springfield.) Hoffman wouldn't allow his name to be used to promote the show; the producers invented "Sam Ettic" to replace it (Hoffman, of course, being Jewish, or "Semitic.")
Memorable Quote:
Mr. Bergstrom: "And, for the record, there were a few Jewish cowboys, ladies and gentlemen. Big guys who were great shots and spent freely."
3. Jon Lovitz - "A Streetcar Named Marge" - Lovitz has done Yeoman's work on the show, appearing in no fewer than eight episodes as seven different characters. Artie Ziff (Marge's high school boyfriend) gets the most airplay, and Jay Sherman (his character from The Critic) generated the most buzz, but his most interesting creation was Llewellyn Sinclair, the local theater director, who directs a musical rendition of A Streetcar Named Desire starring Marge as Blanche Du Bois and Ned Flanders as Stanley Kowalski.
Memorable Quote:
Llewellyn Sinclair: "I am not an easy man to work for. While directing 'Hats Off to Hanukah,' I reduced more than one cast member to tears. Did I expect too much from fourth-graders? The review, 'Play Enjoyed By All,' speaks for itself."
2. Glenn Close - "Mother Simpson" - It wasn't until the seventh season that it was revealed that Homer's mother wasn't actually dead; she was just on the lam. She was a 60s radical who wrecked Mr. Burns's germ warfare lab. Glenn Close proved to be a perfect choice for her voice in this touching episode.
Memorable Quote:
Grandma Simpson: "Can't reminisce. Sleeping."
1. Albert Brooks - "You Only Move Twice" - Brooks was one of the first big names to appear on the show (even though he was credited as "A. Brooks,") and has been a guest voice five times. He was never better than when he played Hank Scorpio, who was a friendly, "new-age" boss by day and cartoonish supervillain by night. Homer, who worked for him, was oblivious to all of this.
Memorable Exchange:
Hank Scorpio: "Look at my feet. You like these moccassins? Look in your closet; there's a pair for you. Don't like them? Then neither do I! Get the hell outta here! Ever see a guy say good-bye to a shoe before?
Homer: "Yes, once."
--The Phoenix
