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Old 12-21-2009, 04:14 PM   #331
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Originally Posted by lazarus View Post
How did he get into the TARDIS?
Wrong movie.

and the answer is - with a lot of lube

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Old 12-21-2009, 06:50 PM   #332
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Oh lord.

Also, has this been posted yet?

Q: What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus?

A: Santa stops after three ho's.

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Old 12-21-2009, 11:52 PM   #333
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Not mine, I found it and I wanna share...

>> Tiger Woods Holiday Poem
>> Twas the night of Thanksgiving and out of the house
>> Tiger Woods came a flyin' . . . chased by his spouse.
>> She wielded a nine iron and wasn't too merry,
>> Cause a bimbo’s phone number was in his Blackberry.
>> He’d been cheatin' on Elin, and the story progressed.
>> Woman after woman stepped up and confessed.
>> He’d been cheatin’ with Holly, and Jaimee, and Cori,
>> With Joselyn, and Kalika . . . the world had the story.
>> From the top of the Tour to the basement of blues,
>> Tiger’s sad sordid tale was all over the news.
>> With hostesses, waitresses, he had lots of sex,
>> When not in their pants, he was sendin' them texts.
>> Despite all his cryin’ and beggin' and pleadin',
>> Tiger’s wife went investin' . . . a new home in Sweden.
>> And I heard her exclaim from her white Escalade,
>> "If you’re gettin' laid then I’m gettin' paid."
>> She’s not pouting, in fact, she is of jolly good cheer,
>> Her prenup made Christmas come early this year.
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Old 12-23-2009, 04:29 PM   #334
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"If you’re gettin' laid then I’m gettin' paid."
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Old 02-09-2010, 11:42 AM   #335
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Guess it was only a matter of time

TIGER'S GOT WOOD TRAILER (link apparently "safe for work")

I'm loving the SUV in the background..
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Old 02-17-2010, 07:20 PM   #336
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Tiger's press conference is set for Friday - supposedly he'll return for the Tavistock Cup, a made-for-TV event, in mid-March. Interesting timing of the press conference during the Accenture (which dropped him) event. Good to have him back playing golf.
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Old 02-17-2010, 10:56 PM   #337
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Tiger won't be doing a Q & A at his press conference. Heaven forbid someone ask him a question.
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Old 02-18-2010, 09:12 AM   #338
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what a joke. no cameras. only a few handpicked reporters. i'd love if some of them would boycott it, but it would only hurt themselves and their network.

i hope he never wins another major
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Old 02-18-2010, 12:28 PM   #339
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There will be a pool TV camera for the video feed, and they need to limit the number of reporters. Otherwise, thousands would show up. A q&a would obviously only cause further embarrassment.
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Old 02-18-2010, 12:38 PM   #340
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i hope his sex addiction doesn't take over during the press conference. if i was female and in that room, i'd watch out.
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Old 02-18-2010, 03:22 PM   #341
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Go Phil

NBC Sports

Ernie Els blasts Tiger Woods as 'selfish'

Thu Feb 18,2010 9:30 AM ET By Rick Chandler

So why is Tiger Woods making Friday's big press statement (don't call it a press conference!) right in the middle of the Accenture Match Play Championship? Ernie Els, for one, is not amused.

"It's selfish," Els told a reporter from American magazine Golf Week. "You can write that. I feel sorry for the sponsor. Mondays are a good day to make statements, not Friday. This takes a lot away from the golf tournament."

"It's like Tim (Finchem, the tour commissioner) has lost his head. He wants Tiger back in the worst way and so he lets this go on. I mean, we all want to see Tiger back, but this doesn't look good."

That Ernie, such a quiet one. You never know what he's thinking.

Some are saying that the timing of the State of the Woods address is a deliberate attempt to stick it to Accenture, which was one of the first sponsors to drop Woods when the sex scandal hit the fan. Others say that the timing was necessary so that Woods could beat the deadline to announce that he's playing in the Tavistock Cup, which is played near his home in Orlando in March.

Mark Steinberg, Woods' manager, stopped just short of saying as much in response to Els.

"It's always good to get your information right before commenting. It's strictly a timing issue. There is a very good reason (for Friday) and not do it next week."

But when pressed, he wouldn't elaborate.

Rory Mcllroy believes Woods did it deliberately, as the sponsor in question was one of the first to dump the American after the revelations about his private life emerged following a bizarre car crash on November 27.

"He's got to come out at some point," McIlroy said. "I suppose he might want to get something back against the sponsor that dropped him."

Match Play defending champion Geoff Ogilvy was unimpressed at Woods' decision not to take questions at the US Tour's headquarters where the controlled press conference will take place.

"Maybe we can put the whole tournament on hold for 10 minutes to watch," he said. "The only thing I will say about it is that I would like to see him answer some questions."
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Old 02-18-2010, 03:33 PM   #342
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i keep hearing that he is expected to appologize... exactly what did tiger woods do to us that he owes us an appology?

the only person he owes an appology to is his wife.
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Old 02-18-2010, 03:43 PM   #343
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He might also apologize to the PGA tour, tour sponsors, and his fans.
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Old 02-19-2010, 11:09 AM   #344
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This is one of the most awkward things I've seen in a long time. He's...speaking...in...a... strange...robot voice...making declarative statements.

I don't know how to explain it really, but this is just weird.
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Old 02-19-2010, 11:13 AM   #345
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I'm guessing Tiger's not wearing a tie because it's hanging on the doorknob outside that room. You just can't kick some old habits.

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