Tiger Woods injured in car crash

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lazarus said:
How did he get into the TARDIS?
Click to expand...

Wrong movie.

drlooandthephaleks.jpg



and the answer is - with a lot of lube
 
Oh lord.

Also, has this been posted yet?

Q: What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus?

A: Santa stops after three ho's.
 
Not mine, I found it and I wanna share...

>> Tiger Woods Holiday Poem
>>
>> Twas the night of Thanksgiving and out of the house
>>
>> Tiger Woods came a flyin' . . . chased by his spouse.
>>
>> She wielded a nine iron and wasn't too merry,
>>
>> Cause a bimbo’s phone number was in his Blackberry.
>>
>> He’d been cheatin' on Elin, and the story progressed.
>>
>> Woman after woman stepped up and confessed.
>>
>> He’d been cheatin’ with Holly, and Jaimee, and Cori,
>>
>> With Joselyn, and Kalika . . . the world had the story.
>>
>> From the top of the Tour to the basement of blues,
>>
>> Tiger’s sad sordid tale was all over the news.
>>
>> With hostesses, waitresses, he had lots of sex,
>>
>> When not in their pants, he was sendin' them texts.
>>
>> Despite all his cryin’ and beggin' and pleadin',
>>
>> Tiger’s wife went investin' . . . a new home in Sweden.
>>
>> And I heard her exclaim from her white Escalade,
>>
>> "If you’re gettin' laid then I’m gettin' paid."
>>
>> She’s not pouting, in fact, she is of jolly good cheer,
>>
>> Her prenup made Christmas come early this year.
>
 
Tiger's press conference is set for Friday - supposedly he'll return for the Tavistock Cup, a made-for-TV event, in mid-March. Interesting timing of the press conference during the Accenture (which dropped him) event. Good to have him back playing golf.
 
what a joke. no cameras. only a few handpicked reporters. i'd love if some of them would boycott it, but it would only hurt themselves and their network.

i hope he never wins another major
 
There will be a pool TV camera for the video feed, and they need to limit the number of reporters. Otherwise, thousands would show up. A q&a would obviously only cause further embarrassment.
 
i hope his sex addiction doesn't take over during the press conference. if i was female and in that room, i'd watch out.
 
:yawn:

Go Phil

NBC Sports

Ernie Els blasts Tiger Woods as 'selfish'

Thu Feb 18,2010 9:30 AM ET By Rick Chandler

So why is Tiger Woods making Friday's big press statement (don't call it a press conference!) right in the middle of the Accenture Match Play Championship? Ernie Els, for one, is not amused.

"It's selfish," Els told a reporter from American magazine Golf Week. "You can write that. I feel sorry for the sponsor. Mondays are a good day to make statements, not Friday. This takes a lot away from the golf tournament."

"It's like Tim (Finchem, the tour commissioner) has lost his head. He wants Tiger back in the worst way and so he lets this go on. I mean, we all want to see Tiger back, but this doesn't look good."

That Ernie, such a quiet one. You never know what he's thinking.

Some are saying that the timing of the State of the Woods address is a deliberate attempt to stick it to Accenture, which was one of the first sponsors to drop Woods when the sex scandal hit the fan. Others say that the timing was necessary so that Woods could beat the deadline to announce that he's playing in the Tavistock Cup, which is played near his home in Orlando in March.

Mark Steinberg, Woods' manager, stopped just short of saying as much in response to Els.

"It's always good to get your information right before commenting. It's strictly a timing issue. There is a very good reason (for Friday) and not do it next week."

But when pressed, he wouldn't elaborate.

Rory Mcllroy believes Woods did it deliberately, as the sponsor in question was one of the first to dump the American after the revelations about his private life emerged following a bizarre car crash on November 27.

"He's got to come out at some point," McIlroy said. "I suppose he might want to get something back against the sponsor that dropped him."

Match Play defending champion Geoff Ogilvy was unimpressed at Woods' decision not to take questions at the US Tour's headquarters where the controlled press conference will take place.

"Maybe we can put the whole tournament on hold for 10 minutes to watch," he said. "The only thing I will say about it is that I would like to see him answer some questions."
 
This is one of the most awkward things I've seen in a long time. He's...speaking...in...a... strange...robot voice...making declarative statements.

I don't know how to explain it really, but this is just weird.
 
I'm guessing Tiger's not wearing a tie because it's hanging on the doorknob outside that room. You just can't kick some old habits.
 
GirlsAloudFan said:
This is one of the most awkward things I've seen in a long time. He's...speaking...in...a... strange...robot voice...making declarative statements.

I don't know how to explain it really, but this is just weird.
Click to expand...

/the golf course looks good
//my swing feels good
///i like my chances
 
i liked when he got faux angry talking about the media following his kids around to school. lulz

pound that podium tiger!

/heard it on the radio so i have no idea if there was a podium
 
Glad to see he addressed some of the extra bullshit stories that came out like the PEDs and Elin beating him with a club. He had every right to be pissed about that.

Now come back in time for Augusta, buddy.

PhilsFan said:
I'm guessing Tiger's not wearing a tie because it's hanging on the doorknob outside that room. You just can't kick some old habits.
Click to expand...

Well done, Peefer. You earned it:

2czrbcg.gif
 
Imperor said:
Glad to see he addressed some of the extra bullshit stories that came out like the PEDs and Elin beating him with a club. He had every right to be pissed about that.

Now come back in time for Augusta, buddy.



Well done, Peefer. You earned it:

2czrbcg.gif
Click to expand...

he has the right to be pissed, but don't try and turn the tables on the media because today was about him and what he did.
 
What sucked the most was when the first camera went out and they had to go to the second camera. Tiger's intent was to look directly at the camera to show his remorse. Unfortunately, once that first camera was no longer used, it defeated the purpose of Tiger's apology which was to break the fourth wall and appear to be addressing the world (or even his wife) and not have it appear like he was reading a prepared statement. I must commend Tiger for doing just that, but, like I said, the camera malfunctioned and you then were forced to see him only from the side.
 
I don't think Tiger turned the tables on the media - he was simply responding to false and slanderous assertions. Even though he didn't address his return date, it should be sooner rather than later.
 
Very well scripted. I did like the statement that he felt entitled and as if he didn't have to live by any rules-whether he actually wrote that or not it's certainly the truth.

All that matters are his actions going forward and with his family situation. Without doing what is right for that anything else is meaningless. I give him the benefit of the doubt that he really wants to change and make amends for and to his family. If he doesn't well that will be revealed to them eventually.
 
A friend of mine e-mailed me, he claims that one of the commentators on the Golf Channel actually cried/got all teary eyed. They are so far up Tiger's butt and they always will be. I guess there'd be no Golf Channel without Tiger, but crying? Come on.

Every time Tiger apologizes, an angel gets its' wings
 
Headache in a Suitcase said:
what the F did he do to the PGA tour and his fans? the only thing he did to the PGA tour is hurt their ratings by not being there.

he doesn't owe the fans an apology for cheating on his wife. he owes his wife an apology for cheating on his wife.
Click to expand...

He apologized to more people than he needed to obviously. His foundation and the parents whose kids looked to him as a role model got a mention - it's possible donations to his foundation dropped after this scandal broke. So hopefully those donations will resume.

MrsSpringsteen said:
A friend of mine e-mailed me, he claims that one of the commentators on the Golf Channel actually cried/got all teary eyed. They are so far up Tiger's butt and they always will be. I guess there'd be no Golf Channel without Tiger, but crying? Come on.

Every time Tiger apologizes, an angel gets its' wings
Click to expand...

When the scandal first broke, they weren't as kind to him as I thought they would be - their web coverage was similar to other news sites.
 
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