Official Cricket Thread Part 302

[Axver]

Yep, our batting is brittle as all hell.

 

[cobl04]

ffs.

 

[Axver]

We've come back from this before at the Basin, and let's not judge things until Australia have also had a bat, but this is a pretty shit start really. Well at least the Corey Hotline seems to be ringing today.

This gave me a laugh: New Zealand v Australia: Dialogue from a one-way conversation that may or may not have happened | Cricket | ESPN Cricinfo

 

[Axver]

Fuck, no, the Corey Hotline has rang out.

Can we please somehow stagger to 200?

Edit: OK cricket gods, I'll settle for 150 at this rate.

 

[Axver]

Well, 183, could've been a shitload worse.

The top five batsmen scored a combined 48. Mark Craig scored 41 not out.

 

[cobl04]

Mitch Johnson always bowled better when he batted well, so watch out for Mark Craig!!!!!!!!!!


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[Axver]

Mark Craig has decided that when he bats well, he then goes on to drop crucial catches at second slip.

 

[Vlad n U 2]

Is it swinging a lot?

 

[cobl04]

We check for a no-ball every fucking time there's a wicket but we don't check when the umpire calls it on a wicket. Fuck me. Infuriating. NZ should be in a better spot. Aus get the best of the conditions tho

 

[MadForIt]

Awful umpiring - that 4th wicket was crucial

Smith being a git demanding a replay for his c&b - arrogant twat

Get Aussies for 300 max for NZ to try and do something in this match

Weather forecast is good for all 5 days so need someone to bat for a long long time

NZ were so poor with the bat.

 

[Vlad n U 2]

Less said about this test match the better.

 

[Axver]

I'm still holding out hope that we will do what we've done at other recent Basin Tests and bat for ages in the third innings. Force a draw if we can. But we need big knocks from Kane, BMac, and others to have a hope, and we could really really use Ross back.

 

[cobl04]

Adam Voges averages 97 after 14 Tests. Fucking hell.

Smart work from Lyon and Marsh just now. Not sure it was Guptill's smartest shot when you're 17,000 runs behind on first innings.

 

[Axver]

Just two or three minutes before that wicket I sent a text to my mate saying "Guppy won't make fifty. Great ODI player who always finds a way to get out in Tests."

That ball was the first bloody ball of the day I saw too, after finally a). waking up and b). stopping my Internet from being a dick.

 

[cobl04]

Fingers crossed the Kiwis can salvage something from here. Decent start. 562 is not horrific, all things considered, if you ignore NZ's first innings.

 

[Axver]

Our last two third innings at the Basin were 8/680 and 5/524, so here's hoping we get a another in that vicinity.

 

[cobl04]

For. Fuck's. Sake.

Guess everyone has to have a form slump, even Kane. Wonder when Smith's, Kohli's and Root's will come.

 

[Vlad n U 2]

Amla only recently got out of his. AB is firmly into his own at the moment.

 

[Axver]

Oh fucking HELL Latham, you had to go on with this. You absolutely had to.

For once I'd love New Zealand to produce a good opener.

 

[Vlad n U 2]

Can somebody please explain why NZ are struggling even more so at home than they did in Australia?

 

[Axver]

We're fielding a second string team? It doesn't help that's for sure.

 

[Vlad n U 2]

Yeah, I understand that, but Australia don't have Starc at their disposal either.

 

[Axver]

I'm a bit miffed with New Zealand not selecting Matt Henry. Sure Southee and Boult in their prime are two of the world's best bowlers, but they're coming off injuries and Henry is our form bowler at the moment. I'd drop literally any member of our bowling attack to get Henry in the side.

It's also a shame we don't have Santner for this game. Not only would his batting help stabilise the middle-to-bottom order, but his spin would mean we wouldn't need to select Mark Craig - who, it must be said, has done a decent job of responding to doubters like me, but I'll still take Santner.

 

[Axver]

Cricket's leading sexist fuckwit didn't learn his lesson (as if you're surprised):

 

[Vlad n U 2]

That horrid laugh at the end ...

 

[Vlad n U 2]

Also, the Windies won the U19 WC over India. Sign of a good future?

 

[Axver]

Sign of a good future for the mankad.

 

[cobl04]

Woulda been good to watch. Scores more like the WCs of 25 years ago.

Nathan Lyon bowling well again the only good thing about a one-sided Test.


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[Vlad n U 2]

Wowee.

I’m A Celebrity: Shane Warne’s crazy views on evolution

 

[MadForIt]

Go Bazza go!
Pure entertainer
NZ will miss him so much

Saving nz's bacon here before lunch on day 1.
Need 300 plus here