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Old 03-21-2014, 08:41 PM   #196
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I wish I had been here to rage at zoney for this back in 2009...


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I went to lunch yesterday and saw Ultimate Frisbee on the TV screen over the bar - it was an ESPN Network.

A new low?

It's funny, ultimate frisbee was a huge deal at my high school. Like if I talk long enough about how big a deal it was, a little googling and you'll be able to guess exactly where I went to high school, because there aren't exactly that many places where it's as big a deal. And probably fewer where it's not only a big deal, but a much bigger deal than football.
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Old 03-22-2014, 05:56 AM   #197
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Where the hell is zoney anyway?

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Old 03-22-2014, 12:32 PM   #198
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Where the hell is zoney anyway?

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He'll be back in September.
He has relegated himself to once a week appearances to do the NFL pick'em during football season, other than that he's basically a no show.
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Old 07-12-2014, 01:04 PM   #199
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Can we play "rank the top 5 tools on ESPN?"

I'll go first.

1. Chris Broussard
2. Darren Rovell
3. Brian Windhorst
4. Bill Simmons
5. Mel Kiper Jr.
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Old 07-12-2014, 01:11 PM   #200
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Broussard is def #1. He is slime.
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Old 07-12-2014, 02:32 PM   #201
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Hell, I could make a top 20 but my brain is failing me right now.

Those not yet mentioned:

College football alone:
Joe Schad (for the NBA-inclined, imagine Windhorst with ten times less cred)
Mark May (a mountain of reasons, but mostly he doesn't know shit)
Jesse Palmer (nobody is higher on Jesse Palmer's opinion than Jesse Palmer)
Brent Musburger (if your team is a perennial favorite, I don't even have to explain)
Paul Finebaum (if we can count him, has an SEC Penis permanently up his ass)

"editorialist hacks"
Skip Bayless (if you need this explained, you are probably a dick too)
Stephen A Smith (to a lesser extent, more his mannerisms than anything)
Dan Le Batard (know-nothing)
Michael Smith (know-nothing #2, but even worse)
that chick with Michael Smith...can't even think of her name. (know-even less)

NFL:
Merrill Hoge
Tedy Bruschi
Ron Jaworski
(these three aren't atrocious...I just feel like they say absolutely nothing every time they speak, even Jaws' XandO breakdowns are patently obvious)

anchors in general:
Trey Wingo (aside from Berman, nobody on all of ESPN likes the sound of his own voice better than Wingo)
Neil Everett (he's not funny but evidently nobody has told him that)
Stuart Scott (lack of self-awareness much? I even saw him doing analysis. He's the biggest dork that believes he's the exact opposite. He's still doing 'catch phrases' like it was 1994 and not 2014)

Special category unto himself:
Chris Berman. I literally can't (and won't) stand to watch/listen to him. Thank God the NFL Network covers the draft too.

Honorable mention:
Dick Vitale (I don't hate him, he seems likable enough as a person, but my god he's a worthless analyst. If it's not related to a half-dozen programs (or even less), he knows next to nothing)

I'm sure I'm forgetting a good 10 more.
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Old 07-12-2014, 02:35 PM   #202
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John Gruden. And I hate to even mention Skip Bayless because he doesn't deserve the afternoon.

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Old 07-12-2014, 02:39 PM   #203
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It's Jon Gruden. No "h" in there. And he's hilarious. I really like him.
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Old 07-12-2014, 02:40 PM   #204
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U2Dm, the only two names on your list I disagree with are Neil Everett and Stu Scott. I actually still like Stu after all these years. I find him sincere in his cheesiness. And Everett seems to have good taste in some areas of pop culture.

The rest on your list, yeah. They blow.

EDIT: Actually, Jaworski still makes me laugh. I disagree with that one, too. Maybe I'm just looking at it a bit differently. Often I find I can tolerate the shitty TV sports personalities as long as they are unintentionally funny to me.

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Old 07-12-2014, 02:49 PM   #205
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I don't hate Stu, more than anything else, I just find him annoying...and mostly I was just perturbed that he was doing fucking NBA analysis. But that's not his fault, that's the fault of someone at ESPN asking him to do it. Just like I saw Rece Davis doing CFB analysis a few times.

As a rule of thumb, I FUCKING HATE when the anchors get involved in the analysis. I don't give a fuck what their opinion is. I barely give a fuck what the analysts are saying unless they're telling me something I don't know. I mean, it's very possible to tell me something I don't know about the NBA or basketball, but it's less likely in football, particularly college football. That said, I've about had it with glorified fans like Stu Scott or Skip Bayless that have this incredible platform to spout nonsense.

And I'll admit, Neil Everett is a personal grudge because of Sonics/Thunder. He spent a good...I don't know, maybe a year, not even calling them OKC or Thunder or whatever it was always "Not Sonics" or "Midwest". In what other line of television could someone get away with that? That said, still, I don't find him funny and I generally don't like the self-appointed comedians very much at all. Unless its Kenny Mayne...and he's not on the air much anymore.
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Old 07-12-2014, 02:51 PM   #206
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Is Rick Reilly still on espn? I hate him too.

Also, you ask know Mark Sanchez is going to be an analyst on the four letter at some point.

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Old 07-12-2014, 03:11 PM   #207
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Rovell is the fucking worst.
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Old 07-12-2014, 03:15 PM   #208
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You're the best.
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Old 07-12-2014, 03:37 PM   #209
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I don't watch much Sports Center, so I can't really comment on the others, but I'll usually have First Take on in the morning. I have to say they're far superior to the snoozefest that is Mike and Mike. What a dog shit show that is. 2 milquetoast clowns with awful PC opinions on everything. As far as First Take, I switched over from Mike and Mike when I first got out to the west coast, and haven't turned on Mike and Mike since. That being said, Skip Bayless is a douche with an occasional good point. His constantly trying to be inoffensive is offensive. I used to dislike Steven A. Smith, but he has grown on me. I really enjoy him now.

Anyone watch Boomer and Carton or Mike Francesa?

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Old 07-12-2014, 04:05 PM   #210
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Gruden is one of my favorites. The only person I hate, without exception is Kirk Herbstreit.
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