The Worst Songs of 2009

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I really like that Lady TV Gaga and her Pokerface song, I dunno what you guys are on about with that. Yeah, she's not exactly Genius Saviour Of Modern Pop 4000 like some are saying (I think the only person saying this is Perez Hilton, but he counts), but she gets a job done, and it is a job that must be done competently.

I'm just going to go with that Nickelback song, now. As long as Nickelback keep making music, that is your answer for every year.
 
Nickleback's always a safe bet.

Lady Gaga is making decent music.

And I think I'll add the Ladyhawke album to my long list of albums to get.
 
Alrighty.

How about that cliche-ridden, 100% generic rock song called 'Addicted To You' by Saving Abel, you cannot get anymore crap than that, i'd even prefer Jonas Brothers over this (I can't believe I said Jonas brothers, AARRGGHHH!!!).
 
I can't be the only one who hears "Even Better Than The Real Thing" in "Something In Your Mouth". From 1:19-1:25. The "Even Better Than The Real Thing" intro riff can clearly be heard. It sticks out like a sore thumb because it's the only part of the song("Something In My Mouth", that is) that has any artistic merit whatsoever, that doesn't make me want to vomit.

Listen to that six seconds and tell me it isn't the "Even Better Than The Real Thing" intro riff.
 
I don’t understand how Evermore have actually had a career. It’s not that they’re bad or offensive in any way, they’re just absolutely, obviously, completely talentless.
 

I'm sorry, but that's far too inept to hate. :lmao:

Have you seen the lyrics to S.E.X. from that same album? They make Something In Your Mouth read like Robert Frost:

"No" is a dirty word,
Never gonna say it first,
"No" is just a thought that never crosses my mind.
Maybe in the parking lot,
Better bring your friend along,
Better rock together than just one at a time.

S is for the simple need.
E is for the ecstasy.
X is just to mark the spot,
Because that's the one you really want.
(Yes!) Sex is always the answer, it's never a question,
'Cause the answer's yes, oh the answers (Yes)
Not just a suggestion, if you ask a question,
Then it's always yes. Yeah!

I'm loving what you wanna wear,
I wonder what's up under there?
Wonder if I'll ever have it under my tongue?
I'll love to try to set you free,
I love you all over me.
Love hearin' the sound you make the second you're done.

S is for the simple need.
E is for the ecstasy.
X is just to mark the spot,
Because that's the one you really want.
(Yes!) Sex is always the answer, it's never a question,
'Cause the answer's yes, oh the answers (Yes).
Not just a suggestion, if you ask a question,
Then it's always yes. Yeah! (YES)
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

S is for the simple need.
E is for the ecstasy.
X is just to mark the spot,
Because that's the one you really want.
(Yes!) Sex is always the answer, it's never a question,
'Cause the answer's yes, oh the answer's (Yes).
Not just a suggestion, if you ask a question,
Then it's always yes. Yeah! (YES)
(Yes!) Sex is always the answer, it's never a question,
'Cause the answer's yes, oh the answer's (Yes).
Not just a suggestion, if you ask a question,
Then it's always yes. Yeah! (YES)
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

YES!

GAF must have received a writing credit for this, even if he wasn't involved in any way.
 
I left a comment on that Something In Your Mouth video:

This is fucking hilarious. Nickelback has always sucked, but on this new album, they've really embraced how terrible they are and, IMO, this is for the best. The lyrics of this song are an abomination (likely not seeming as demeaning and absurd to Kroeger before he spent 15 minutes in a truck stop men's room with a copy of Glamor as they did afterward), and the guitar riff is clearly being played by one of those plastic toy guitars from Wal-Mart. Just the same, A+ effort. I laughed my ass off.
 
So no one hears the "Even Better Than The Real Thing" riff sticking out between 1:19-1:25 like a shining diamond sticking out of a giant turd?

I swear, it's there.

Fucking offensively bad song otherwise.
 
So no one hears the "Even Better Than The Real Thing" riff sticking out between 1:19-1:25 like a shining diamond sticking out of a giant turd?

I cannot have an opinion on this because it would require me to seek out and actively listen to this shitpile of a song.
 
I cannot have an opinion on this because it would require me to seek out and actively listen to this shitpile of a song.

You don't have to seek it out, it's right there on the first page of this thread. And you don't have to listen to the whole thing. You can move the cursor to 1:19 and promptly stop at 1:25. And then you'd just be listening to the "Even Better Than The Real Thing" riff, which I assume you don't have a problem with since you're posting on a U2 forum. :)
 
All right, I did it. You owe me those 15 seconds of my life I'll never get back. :grumpy:

I hear the similarity for sure, but I'd bet there were buttloads of other songs that have a similar guitar wee-ah WEE-ah-WEE wee-ah WEE-ah-WEE thing going on.
 
It sounds like a 10 year-old with no idea how to play guitar screwed around with a some guitar pedals, and came across the EBTTRT intro riff by accident. Based on the age of their groupies, this may not be far from the truth.
 
I don’t understand how Evermore have actually had a career. It’s not that they’re bad or offensive in any way, they’re just absolutely, obviously, completely talentless.
Have you heard their first album? It's good, really good. Since they've just gotten worse.
I left a comment on that Something In Your Mouth video:
You shouldn't have done that. The people who write comments on youtube videos are going to have an aneurysm when they see that.

Capitals? Punctuation? Five-letter words?


He may be the worst whatever he is in the world, but Chad Kroeger's probably getting heaps. Probably.
 
Look, Jamie Foxx is the worst, but you can't in good conscience have T-Pain on any shitty songs list, mothafucka. All of the kids love the robot voice.
 
Ima buy you a drank for that truthful comment, Imperor. Whatchu think about that?
 
Well, I'll tell you...

I'm thinking we can see what we can be if we press fast forward. Just one more round and you're down I know it. Fill another cup up. Feeling on yo butt, what?
 
Well, I'll tell you...

I'm thinking we can see what we can be if we press fast forward. Just one more round and you're down I know it. Fill another cup up. Feeling on yo butt, what?

I just looked up the lyrics to that song. :crack:

What the heck is wrong with people nowadays that makes something like that a popular song?
 
I had to go and look those up and yes, you could be right:

Boom clap
Boom de clap de clap
Boom boom clap
Boom de clap de clap
Boom boom clap
Boom de clap de clap
Boom boom clap
Boom de clap de clap

Try it with me
Here we go,

Boom boom clap
Boom de clap de clap (woah-woah)
That's right
Boom de clap de clap
Boom boom clap
Boom de clap de clap (woah-woah)

1,2,3,
Everybody come on, off your seats
I'm gonna tell you about a beat
That's gonna make you move your feet

I'll get the Barb-bay-que show
And tell you how to move
If your five or eighty-two
This is something you can do (woah-woah)

Pop it
Lock it
Polka dot it
Countryfy it
Hip hop it
Put your hawk in the sky
move side to side
jump to the left
sitck it, glide

Zigzag cross the floor
Shuffle in diagonal
When the drum hits
Hands on your hips
One foot in
180 twist

I said a,
Zigzag, step n' slide
Lean to the back
And clap three times
Shake it out
Head to toe
Throw it all together
That's how we roll

Do the hoedown (throwdown)
Do the hoedown (throwdown)
Do the hoedown (throwdown)
Throw it all together
That's how we roll

We get to four, five, six
And your feelin butter stiff
But it's not time to quit
Practice makes you perfect (woah-woah)

Pop it, lock it
Poke a dot it
Countryfy it
Hiphop it
Put your hawk in the sky
Move side to side
Jump to the left
Stick it, glide

Zigzag cross the floor
Shuffle in diagonal
When the drum hits
Hands on your hips
One foot in
180 twist

I said a,
Zigzag, step n' slide
Lean to the back
And clap three times
Shake it out
Head to toe
Throw it all together
That's how we roll

Do the hoedown (throwdown)
Do the hoedown (throwdown)
Do the hoedown (throwdown)
Throw it all together
That's how we roll

Boom de clap de clap
Boom boom clap
Come on
Here we go
Boom boom clap
Boom de clap de clap
Boom boom clap
Boom de clap

Pop it, lock it
Poke a dot it
Countryfy
Hiphop it
Put your hawk in the sky
Move side to side
Jump to the left
Stick it, glide

Zigzag cross the floor
Shuffle in diagonal
When the drum hits
Hands on your hips
One foot in
180 twist

I said a,
Zigzag, step and slide
Lean to the back
And clap three times
Shake it out
Head to toe
Throw it all together
That's how we roll

Do the hoedown (throwdown)
Do the hoedown (throwdown)
Do the hoedown (throwdown)
Throw it all together
That's how we roll

Do the hoedown (throwdown)
Do the hoedown (throwdown)
Do the hoedown (throwdown)
Throw it all together
That's how we roll

Boom de clap
Ba boom boom clap clap clap
Boom dot clap
Ba boom boom clap clap clap
Boom de clap
Boom de clap de clap
Throw it all together
That's how we roll
 
I'll take that over...

"Ay, She say she usually don't
But I know that she front
Cause shawty know what she want
But she don't wanna seem like she easy
I hear you saying what ya won't do
But you know we probably gon do
What you been fening deep inside
Don't lie now"

... any day of the week. I just can't get over how stupid that song is. It's quite laughable.
 
Ahhhh hold up a minute. Hoedown Throwdown is absolutely harmless. There's no way that is one of the 'worst' of the year. There's so much more offensive stuff out there. And it's a kid's dance song. It's not striving for deep, life-changing lyricism. It's not trying to be anything other than an absolute cheese-fest. Like I said, it's harmless.

Oh, and Irishteen, how the hell do you know about the existence of the Hoedown Throwdown? Of course I'm gonna know about that shit but I'm curious as to how you stumbled upon it. You been studying up on your kid's movie soundtrack songs lately?
 
Oh, and Irishteen, how the hell do you know about the existence of the Hoedown Throwdown? Of course I'm gonna know about that shit but I'm curious as to how you stumbled upon it. You been studying up on your kid's movie soundtrack songs lately?

I love that you embrace yourself, GAF
 
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