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Old 01-29-2016, 09:08 PM   #1
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The Count of Tuscany presents: the majestic Dream Theater thread

Gather 'round young B&C, for this is the tale of a once-great band that plummeted to earth. Once upon a time there was a band of technically proficient musicians who helped popularise, if not quite pioneer, progressive metal. Yes they could be overblown and wanky, but they also knew their way around a song and could play some impressive yet tasteful solos.







If you have heaps of time, this for many is their masterpiece:



They even wrote things that aren't at all prog, and are quite beautiful:



But then... they got a keyboardist who plays circus music and had a midlife crisis and released songs like this:





And there's worse. Like the 20-minute song that builds up to "tell them about my brother/tell them about me/the count of Tuscany!"

Now they're back. With a double album, 130 minutes in length, called THE ASTONISHING. It has songs with titles like The Gift of Music, Act of Faythe (yes, that's how it's spelt), Lord Nafaryus (no that's really its name), 2285 Entr'acte, Brother Can You Hear Me?, and in case you weren't sure if there was a theme, Losing Faythe.

Discuss.
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Ian McCulloch the U2 fan:
"Who buys U2 records anyway? It's just music for plumbers and bricklayers. Bono, what a slob. You'd think with all that climbing about he does, he'd look real fit and that. But he's real fat, y'know. Reminds me of a soddin' mountain goat."
"And as for Bono, he needs a colostomy bag for his mouth."

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Old 01-29-2016, 09:11 PM   #2
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Ten prog loser points if you get the pun I smuggled into the title.

So for those of you keen on sharing the listening experience of The Astonishing, I'm good for this afternoon/evening.
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"Mediocrity is never so dangerous as when it is dressed up as sincerity." - Søren Kierkegaard

Ian McCulloch the U2 fan:
"Who buys U2 records anyway? It's just music for plumbers and bricklayers. Bono, what a slob. You'd think with all that climbing about he does, he'd look real fit and that. But he's real fat, y'know. Reminds me of a soddin' mountain goat."
"And as for Bono, he needs a colostomy bag for his mouth."

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Old 01-29-2016, 09:12 PM   #3
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Fucking BOO

I am down for whenever.
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Old 01-29-2016, 09:18 PM   #4
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I am down for evening tonight Aussie time. So in like 6 hours I guess.
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Old 01-29-2016, 09:22 PM   #5
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Cool. Shall we say 8pm Melbourne/Sydney time? 1am LA?
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"Mediocrity is never so dangerous as when it is dressed up as sincerity." - Søren Kierkegaard

Ian McCulloch the U2 fan:
"Who buys U2 records anyway? It's just music for plumbers and bricklayers. Bono, what a slob. You'd think with all that climbing about he does, he'd look real fit and that. But he's real fat, y'know. Reminds me of a soddin' mountain goat."
"And as for Bono, he needs a colostomy bag for his mouth."

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Old 01-29-2016, 09:22 PM   #6
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In 6 hours? Oh fuck, I guess I'm in then. I'll be awake still and done with my usual Friday night secret world gaming business by then. I've always disliked Dream Theater, so this should be painful.
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Old 01-29-2016, 09:27 PM   #7
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I'm listening to Space-Dye Vest right now and bloody hell this is a genuinely great song, no matter what Dream Theater have done since.

Kevin Moore definitely went on to the more interesting and creatively rewarding career with Chroma Key and OSI. Basically everybody seemed to ignore Fire Make Thunder, the last OSI album, but it's fantastic. Wind Won't Howl and For Nothing pack more of an emotional punch than all the most powerful Dream Theater moments of the last decade put together.

And haha awesome IWB, I can't wait to see how this horrifies you.
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"Mediocrity is never so dangerous as when it is dressed up as sincerity." - Søren Kierkegaard

Ian McCulloch the U2 fan:
"Who buys U2 records anyway? It's just music for plumbers and bricklayers. Bono, what a slob. You'd think with all that climbing about he does, he'd look real fit and that. But he's real fat, y'know. Reminds me of a soddin' mountain goat."
"And as for Bono, he needs a colostomy bag for his mouth."

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Old 01-29-2016, 09:29 PM   #8
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It's a shame. This band used to be able to write some good riffs and grooves, but they've seemed to lose that ability over time.



This is mighty impressive!
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Old 01-29-2016, 09:34 PM   #9
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The Count of Tuscany presents: the majestic Dream Theater thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by Axver View Post
Cool. Shall we say 8pm Melbourne/Sydney time? 1am LA?

I'll be here, as always.

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Old 01-29-2016, 09:43 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by liamcool View Post
How the hell does this guy not die in the attempt.
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"Mediocrity is never so dangerous as when it is dressed up as sincerity." - Søren Kierkegaard

Ian McCulloch the U2 fan:
"Who buys U2 records anyway? It's just music for plumbers and bricklayers. Bono, what a slob. You'd think with all that climbing about he does, he'd look real fit and that. But he's real fat, y'know. Reminds me of a soddin' mountain goat."
"And as for Bono, he needs a colostomy bag for his mouth."

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Old 01-29-2016, 09:56 PM   #11
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Don't forget to include the ASTONISHING character list, for reference:

http://www.dreamtheater.net/theaston...ini_characters
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Old 01-29-2016, 10:05 PM   #12
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Oh my god there's even a map.

This must be the lead candidate for most overblown album in history.
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"Mediocrity is never so dangerous as when it is dressed up as sincerity." - Søren Kierkegaard

Ian McCulloch the U2 fan:
"Who buys U2 records anyway? It's just music for plumbers and bricklayers. Bono, what a slob. You'd think with all that climbing about he does, he'd look real fit and that. But he's real fat, y'know. Reminds me of a soddin' mountain goat."
"And as for Bono, he needs a colostomy bag for his mouth."

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Old 01-29-2016, 10:13 PM   #13
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Oh, "Faythe" as in faith. As in an Act of Faith.

...fuck you John Petrucci.
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Old 01-29-2016, 10:14 PM   #14
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does he have kids? cos that's like the asshole parent who gives their kid a normal name like alexander but spells it alyx'ndre.
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Old 01-29-2016, 10:28 PM   #15
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Originally Posted by IWasBored View Post
does he have kids? cos that's like the asshole parent who gives their kid a normal name like alexander but spells it alyx'ndre.
This made me laugh.

I'm not listening to this, in part 'cause I'm not familiar with this band's music (though I may check out some of those clips shared in the first post here at some point) and I don't really have the patience to really sit through a 130 minute album.

But I'll happily read this thread and see what all everyone has to say about it. It sounds like it'd be...quite an interesting adventure .
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begin again and again, carcinogenic, circus music, destiny, disney soundtrack, dream theater, filler, gotta have faythe, kill the ravens, lord nefarious, mary sue, midlife crisis, muse vs nomacs, no betrayal tonight, prog metal, progressive metal, regifting, the astonishing, the gift of music

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