Age of Adz I think has become my favourite Sufjan Stevens song, replacing even Impossible Soul.
I love it dearly. The chaotic, pneumatic Disney vibe that sets the scene over the first minute is just hugely enlivening, and then it continues to grow over the next few minutes with raucous horns coming in as well. I get that it puts a lot of people off but hidden beneath it all is a heartrending song about the struggle between the pull of life and the black hole of depression and suicidal thoughts.
And finally, after five minutes, most of the orchestration gives way to just Sufjan, some gentle guitar and those pneumatics.
When I die, when I die
I'll rot
But when I live, when I live
I'll give it all I've got...
The music swells again, reaching a slow, cacophonous crescendo as Sufjan sings potentially his bleakest lyrics ever (which is saying a lot).
I've lost
The will
To fight
I was
Not made
For life
And then the final minute sees all of the effects eventually, one by one, stripped away, leaving just Sufjan's beautiful, heartbreaking voice and a plucked acoustic guitar.
Now I have known you
For just a little while
I feel I must be
Wearing my welcome
I must be moving on
For my intentions, were good intentions
I could have loved you, I could have changed you
I wouldn't be so, I wouldn't feel so
Consumed by selfish thoughts
I'm sorry if I
Seem self-effacing
It's only that I
Still love you deeply
It's all the love I got
Fucking gorgeous.