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Old 11-24-2008, 10:44 PM   #106
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The character of Johnny Appleseed was based on Axver - except for the apple tree planting and not raping men.
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Old 11-24-2008, 10:44 PM   #107
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Did I ever tell you about the time Axver taught his son how to drive? Well anyway, Axver taught his son how to drive by entering him into the Indy 500. The kid wrecked and died. Axver said, It would have happened sometime.
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Old 11-24-2008, 10:45 PM   #108
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Did I ever tell you about the time Axver was in a production of, 'The King & I?' On opening night, Axver chloroforms the entire cast and slowly eats them in front of the audience for two hours. The production got pretty good reviews.
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Old 11-24-2008, 10:45 PM   #109
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Quote:
Originally Posted by UberBeaver View Post
Axver once hosted the Grammys and gave every award to Corey Hart.
the dude with the sunglasses? fucking cool, man
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Old 11-24-2008, 10:45 PM   #110
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Axver can palm a medicine ball.
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Old 11-24-2008, 10:45 PM   #111
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Did I ever tell you about the time Axver went hunting? Axver decides he's going to hunt down all four of the Banana Splits. He stalks and kills every one of them with a machette. They all begged for their lives...except Fleagle.
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Old 11-24-2008, 10:46 PM   #112
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He killed Wolfman Jack with a trident.
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Old 11-24-2008, 10:47 PM   #113
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Axver named the group Sha-Na-Na. They did NOT want to be called that.
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Old 11-24-2008, 10:47 PM   #114
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His coat of arms is a barracuda eating Neil Armstrong.
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Old 11-24-2008, 10:47 PM   #115
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Axver once ate the Bible while water skiing.
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Old 11-24-2008, 10:47 PM   #116
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What are you mother f*ckers talking about? Some f*cking bullshit? F*ck you, mother f*ckers.
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Old 11-24-2008, 10:48 PM   #117
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So anyway, Axver would put on a white tie and tails and walk his cobra through the park on a leash. He named the cobra Beverly, and he taught it how to fetch and dial a phone. But then one day it bit the maid. So with tears in his eyes, Axver had to shoot the maid.
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Old 11-24-2008, 10:48 PM   #118
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*banned before becoming an addict*
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Old 11-24-2008, 10:48 PM   #119
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They use Axver's foreskin as a tarp when it rains at Yankee stadium
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Old 11-24-2008, 10:49 PM   #120
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Axver can name all the 250 superthreads....in the order they were created.
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