Ernie vs. the Bank of America Guy

[lazarus]

YouTube - Shuttlecock - Cockweh - Mini Hege (feat. Bonernie)

Personally, I prefer the alternate version lyrics:

COCKWEH

Take these shoes
Click clacking down some dark alley
High heel shoes
They make her tall
Take off shirt
Truck-driving white trash laid in moments
Take off shirt
and make it quick, quick
Take this hole
Rammed with some skeezy bone
take this hole
and make it swing

Cockweh
Cockweh
Always pain before a child aborts
Cockweh
Cockweh
Still Lance is waiting for a bro

Take these hands
Put them where it's hairy
Take these hands
She'll fit a fist
Take this mouth
So quick to satisfy
Take this mouth
Give it a piss

Cockweh
Cockweh
Always pain before a child aborts
Cockweh
Cockweh
Still Lance is waiting for a bro

Stll waiting for a bro
Her son is growing up
Her son is growing up with confusion
This boy is just a well of confusion
This boy is just a well of confusion

Cockweh
Cockweh
Always pain before a child aborts
Cockweh
Pay her now
Why the cash before the pork?

Take this jimmy
A jimmy should be used and with the pill
Take this jimmy
If she can she will
What no man can own, he still can rent
Take this cock
Take this cock
Take this cock
And leave it spent.

**

Add that to the list of shit you're not archiving, Queef.

 

[impy13]

I love the personal touch in the way he sings "Cockwehhh" at 1:35. Vintage Bonernie.

And what a sad song "Cockweh" is. All that stuff about Lance's plight for companionship. Just heartbreaking.

That is, at least he doesn't sound like he just got hit in the nuts with a football.

The ball, his groin. It works on so many levels!

 

[lazarus]

I'm still not sure what "Cockweh" actually is. The god of prostitution, maybe?

 

[Lance's Mom]

Baby, if you have to ask, you probably couldn't afford it anyway.

 

[LMP]

YouTube - Admiral Ackbar Reads The Adult Personals

 

[impy13]

And just because I'd hate for Axver to think he's impervious to Bonernie's sexual aura:

Bonernie Vox - "One Cock Hill (Shuttlecock cover)"

 

[lazarus]

It's just not the same without the video, but I sure can picture what he's doing.

 

[lazarus]

If Bonernie, Mini Hedge, and Jailbait Jr. are looking for a Battle of the Bands, I think they fucking got one:

YouTube - SHUTTLECOCK Moment of Service Cover

 

[lazarus]

And just like that, another classic is up:

YouTube - SHUTTLECOCK - Shuttling to Stand Still - Mini Hedge (Feat. Bonernie)

Did anyone go to Mini Hedge's YouTube page and check out the bio? These guys are from Barcelona!! Who would have thought? Clearly someone needs to get in touch with NSW so he can take a pic with the band while he's there on his douchebag vacation.

Also, not even Bonernie can not hit the big "whoooooooo" after the second verse. I'm a little disappointed that he didn't go for it.

 

[impy13]

Re: the first one. It's like in the Sixties how you were either a Beatles guy or a Stones guy (or so I hear).

Re: the second one. I'm watching it right now. Consider this a live blog:

Mini Hedge looks like he grew a foot and a half in the past month.

I was hoping for some new material, so this would make my day if I weren't going to an ACL taping later. Too bad it's not their taping...

I want to leave such rave reviews on their videos and encourage them to tackle an entire album or something.

And where do you reckon Bonernie buys a vest like that?

Oh good, he added the "hallelujahs" from the live version!

And it's over. Rare restraint from Bonernie. Someone's been listening to the National.

 

[lazarus]

You know, them being Spanish has somehow made Bonernesto less douchey. That's probably some kind of backhanded compliment (like it's natural for them to be cheesy), but I just can't laugh at him as much, like there's a whole lot of irony missing now. I'm actually impressed at his pronunciation, though if you listen closely it seems clear that he's not a native speaker at times.

Also, the young chick just became 5x hotter for being foreign. GAF needs to step up here and carry the perversion load for all of us.

 

[impy13]

I hate to break it to you, but Bonernie is from Florida. I don't think he and Mini Hedge have ever met. MH just splices their videos together.

So bad news, he doesn't hang out with those kids. Good news, he's homegrown right here in the United States of America. Less douchey? Think again.

To make it in the music business you really need to be dedicated to your music 100%. I was too afraid of fame, I didn't want my world to change. I snapped out of it and stepped back to the world I know of Accounting and Business. In doing this I made a promise to myself. That if I ever sing publically again, it will never be because I have to, it will be for my love of music itself - because music and the journey it takes me on will always be the miracle drug that I crave and desire. That leads me to here...something new, my own webpage. The fire has started and I can't put it out...as long as it's still fun, I feel it's my duty to sing until I drop. I hope the world will forgive my lack of silence.

 

[lazarus]

Good news. Being from Florida actually increased his doucheosity like 200%.

Is Mini Hedge using his vocals a consensual thing? Does Bonernie endorse the collaboration? We must untangle this web of mystery.

Also, I love that he's in Accounting and Business. Add another 500% in douche points, and clearly he's destined for a duet with Bank of America guy. BOA loves the merger.

 

[impy13]

Remind you of anything?

DAMN IT, CLAYCOURT.