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Old 09-29-2008, 07:24 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by phillyfan26 View Post
Here's two verses from a song I just wrote three days ago called "Judgment Day."
Nice. I like it.
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Old 09-29-2008, 07:26 PM   #17
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Here is another song I wrote.

Quote:
If you can't reach the unreachable mountain
If you can't control the steering wheel
If you can't hang on to the rope
If you can't put a grasp on the bar of soap
If you can't hold on to your loved ones hand
If you can't keep your head above the rising sand

You've created this for yourself
Because you sold your soul to the devil
You lost all the trust, that once made us level
Where did it all go?
Where did it all go?

Hey, whats the use of running if you just can't get away
Whats the use of opening your lips if you've got nothing to say
Whats the use of swinging your fist if you're losing the fight
Whats the use of wriggling if your hands are tied tight
Whats the use of flying if you've already hit the ground
Whats the use of screaming out loud if no-ones around

You've created this for yourself
Because you sold your soul to the devil
You lost all the trust, that once made us level
Where did it all go?
Where did it all go?

I guess there is nowhere to sleep because the city is always awake
So i'll be dreaming with my eyes closed, I promise you that I won't fake
You've created this for yourself
Because you sold your soul to the devil
You lost all the trust, that once made us level
Where did it all go?
Where did it all go?

I'll be there when angels bring you back down to the surface
And i'll be there when haunted spirits roam your house
And i'll be watching when you sleep easy through the cold night
And i'll be there when we see a glimpse of the emergence of the sunlight
And i'll be watching when you have retrieved your stolen soul

And i'll be running down the centre of the road
Dodging passing cars and carrying every bit of my own load
And i'll be running while the rain and hail pelters down on me
And i'll see your reflection on tall buildings, I will see
And i'll only stop running until my legs begin to fail
Until then, i'm still holding onto the rail
I guess i'm pretty good at verses, not so much choruses.
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Old 09-30-2008, 01:07 AM   #18
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anybody else?
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Old 09-30-2008, 01:20 AM   #19
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I started writing songs regularly in late 2006. It's great fun, and it's awesome when you come across a chord progression that surprises you and you just have to record it.

Now, lyricism is definitely not my thing. I don't bare my soul through poetry; I'd much rather say what I think rather than singing it, so much of the stuff I write either sounds good in context of the song or is in some way humorous. However, not everything fits that mold, and I've managed to pull off a more emotional feel a couple of times.

Here are two tracks I've penned that are more poetic, and less bizarre:

Quote:
Rain

Isn’t life beautiful…
Isn’t life grand…
But what makes it worth living
Is something I can’t understand
But I try
And I get by
But each day moves by slowly
Like paint drying on the canvas of my troubled mind

A life without love
A life without romance
I know it’s possible
And I’d like to give it a chance
But then there’s you
You’re a solution best left untried
Yet somehow you still find ways
To blow my troubled mind

Rain

I do what my folks back home told me
Keep yourself safe, keep yourself warm
What they would always forget to tell me
Is how not to be mentally worn
If I could stare into the heavens
I would see what I’m missing
In this world of sorrow, debt
And emotionless kissing

Rain

And the rain, it pours
Falls through the gutter of you and yours
And I finally want you to see
That it also falls on me
Now I’m wet from living
Life never feels much like giving
And now all I have is gone
My troubled mind has been withdrawn
Quote:
Saccharin & Aspirin

Misty morning, grey sunlight
Kills the shade, makes the foxhole bright
Bleary mind, gin eyeliner
Life it just couldn't be finer

My head is spinning, filled with nerves
Could this be what I deserve?

Last night was mighty fine
We opened our throats, filled them up with wine
You ripped my heart out, wouldn't give it back
Now you wonder what I lack

My head is spinning, filled with nerves
Could this be what I deserve?

A kiss for my pale cheek
Quickly now, I'm feeling weak
I've got nowhere left to hide
Bring out the insecticide

Ugly thoughts passing through my head
Couldn't you feel like this instead?
Saccharin and aspirin
One more round would do me in

My head is spinning, filled with nerves
Could this be what I deserve?
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Old 09-30-2008, 01:31 AM   #20
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That is pretty good LemonMelon, your songwriting is a bit different but thats a good thing.
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Old 09-30-2008, 03:03 AM   #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vlad n U 2 View Post
40...! Thats quite alot, show us some of your songs.
November Girl

A Walk In the night
Mid November
I see a girl
wearing high heel shoes
shiny as pearls in the sea
Mid November
I approach to her
speak to her
but she smiled and walked away
away
away
away

November Girl
Who are you?
You are a dream or reality?
am I asleep awake?
you seem so real to me
your scent is pure to me

I knew as i see the bright light
In this dream of mine
and see all the beauty inside
I see her face in the winter snow
alive and well hear me call
just remember the one
you saw on red bluff road
countin' his dreams once and
again
again
again
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Old 09-30-2008, 03:54 AM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vlad n U 2 View Post
Here is another song I wrote.



I guess i'm pretty good at verses, not so much choruses.
I really liked this one. there was still a couple semi-cheesy rhymes, but nothing really as out there as the first song. Good job.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LemonMelon View Post
I started writing songs regularly in late 2006. It's great fun, and it's awesome when you come across a chord progression that surprises you and you just have to record it.

Now, lyricism is definitely not my thing. I don't bare my soul through poetry; I'd much rather say what I think rather than singing it, so much of the stuff I write either sounds good in context of the song or is in some way humorous. However, not everything fits that mold, and I've managed to pull off a more emotional feel a couple of times.

Here are two tracks I've penned that are more poetic, and less bizarre:
I almost used Saccharin & Aspirin on my DIV list but then I was afraid people might accuse me of trying to win over your vote
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Old 09-30-2008, 04:06 AM   #23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bono_212 View Post
I almost used Saccharin & Aspirin on my DIV list but then I was afraid people might accuse me of trying to win over your vote
That's awesome. Not sure how well my music would segue into other songs because of the way I record them.
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Old 09-30-2008, 04:51 AM   #24
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here's a link to a few of my band's songs. i wrote all of the lyrics and music except for the drums (take out the space in the url)

http://www.yousend it.com/download/bVlCSmJ3dWNwaFNGa1E9PQ


and here are the lyrics!



Into the Sea
Buy my eyes another night
In the city that I love
Take away this hopeless fate
That I've had too much of

Read the words my father said
When he sailed into the sea
And sing the songs of starry nights
My mother taught to me


Once was I a sailing son
Who took to many seas
But now I'm lost without a gun
Just hope and misery

I've been gone for twenty years
And still sometimes I see
The faces of those helpless ones
Just waiting there for me


Buy my eyes another night
In the city that I see
And tell me now you'll say somehow
That you will never leave

'Cause one fine day she'll turn and say
"Oh, Charlie, don't you go!"
You'll turn around and kiss the ground
And know that you are home


Read the words my father said
When he sailed into the sea
And sing the songs of starry nights
My mother taught to me



The Castle
Try to listen what she tells you
On your magic telephone
But your heart quite isn't able
To keep beating on its own

There's a castle on a hillside
By your lovely Spanish home
You can go there in the summer
With your heart set full of gold

Didn't you know
That I have been waiting for you
And the moon and the stars
They're up there shining for you


As the sun sets to the ocean
On the shores of Mission Beach
And the rivers finish runninig
To the Wind and to the Sea

I'll be standing on the corner
Or the middle of the street
I'm just waiting 'til you walk by
And you're looking right at me

And Didn't you know
That I have been waiting for you
And the moon and the stars
Well they're up there shining for you
'Cause I told 'em to


I said I can't wait for the summer
No, I can't wait till the sun comes shining through
Oh no, I can't wait for the summer
But I'll wait a hundred more years
If I know I'm waiting for you


There's a castle on a hillside
By your lovely Spanish home
You can go there in the summer
With your heart set full of gold

But a castle just like that one
As beautiful as it may be
No it doesn't hold a candle
To the angel next to me

And Didn't you know
That I have been waiting for you
And the moon and the stars
Well they're up there shining for you
'Cause I told 'em to


I said I can't wait for the summer
No, I can't wait till the sun comes shining through
Oh no, I can't wait for the summer
Well the moon and the stars
There up there shining for you
And I'll wait a hundred more years
If I know I'm waiting for you





Revolution
you don't even understand the way that you go
you're running into trouble but you already know
you're never going back into that bottomless hole again

johnny's in the street and he's been out there all night
and bobby's lookin' tired but they're ready to fight
for the things that they believe in
but you don't ask why or when
that bottomless hole again

take it back to midnight and you've blocked out the sun
with the burning of a building and the shot of a gun
with the bullets flying higher than the words of the son, for you

and deep down in your heart you know it's started again
and maybe come tomorrow if you make it 'till then
all the blood that's on the streets will say
'oh when is it gonna end'
that bottomless hole again


take away
you're shooting at the wall
you've nowhere left to fall
when they call out your name

run away
they'll shoot you in the street
but you're standing there for me
and there is no escape
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Old 09-30-2008, 09:13 AM   #25
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I just wanted to remind people of the Dream Out Loud forum. It's a place for posting lyrics, poems, drawings, paintings, etc. Things of a creative nature. It's kind of dead currently, but seeing as how there are obviously a lot of people who have stuff to share, I figured I'd bring it to attention. Maybe some new life could be breathed into it.

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Old 09-30-2008, 07:38 PM   #26
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bono_212 View Post
I really liked this one. there was still a couple semi-cheesy rhymes, but nothing really as out there as the first song. Good job.
Thanks.

Funny because every time I write a song they get much, much better than the previous.

I'm not sure if its possible to avoid cheesy lines all the time.

Heres another one, you'll probably will see a few cheesy lines here and there, probably in the choruses, they are probably the weakest parts of my songwriting but i'll get better as I write more songs.

Quote:

No room to talk, no room to breathe
No time to pull tricks out of my sleeve
I'm on the run, i'm jumping over the gutter
I stumbled and fell over my bread and butter
I'm dodging bullets from the enemy shotgun
I feel so insecure that I wish I had one

And I don't know when I will get away
I don't want to be seen, I want to be invisible
And if I keep running I wouldn't know if my life could be liveable
I'm an innocent fugitive

No time to think, I gotta hide
I need to find the walls that can keep me inside
I never knew, what I ever did wrong
Its still unclear to me hence the point of this song
I don't want to be locked in a confined cell
It makes for a perfect living hell

And I don't know when I will get away
I don't want to be seen, I want to be invisible
And if I keep running I wouldn't know if my life could be liveable
I'm an innocent fugitive

No time to think, I better jump
So I don't trip and fall over the speed bump
If could just curl up into a ball and pretend it was a dream
Then the rest of my life would be harder than it could've been

And I don't know when I will get away
I don't want to be seen, I want to be invisible
And if I keep running I wouldn't know if my life could be liveable
I'm an innocent fugitive

And as i'm running, I try to explain
That i'm not the one that deserves the blame
They don't listen, they just fire away
And I shout, until no words come out
Thats my voice giving way to my yelling
I stumble and trip until I hit a dead end
My back against the enemy, shotgun to my head
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Old 09-30-2008, 09:05 PM   #27
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I have an idea.

I propose that we have this little "songwriters battle" thing where songwriters pit their best song against somebody elses best song, we make a new thread and we put up a poll and the Interferencers vote on which song they prefer/think is the best.

Tell me if you would like to participate, and post your favourite song that you have written.

Thoughts?
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Old 10-01-2008, 12:55 PM   #28
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(its called "Excruciating Feminine Handgun")

Jimmy, find the Jimmy of the town
shoot him down, down on the town
with the handgun of your feminine side

Can't you see the raid from the side of the dead
Rescue me
Stop the raid, raid of the rescue
With the handgun of your feminine side

On the warpath, pull the trigger
Constant flow of blood in the river
Oh Lord on the warpath, pull the trigger
With the handgun of your feminine side

Riding on the road, tearing up the town
With the handgun of your feminine side

Lead the openers of the gung-ho revolutuion
to new barriers of roadkill on the highway
Openers cannot finish if the revolution is stopped
With the handgun of your feminine side

Carry out the cries of the monsters in the closet
Controllers under the bed
With the handgun of your feminine side

Simplify the torch of everlasting life
Color the dark if nothing's there
With the handgun of your feminine side

Go on
Desert the beggars that withdraw from your prayers
Fly past the drunken priest's
Create blood on the walls
With the handgun of your feminine side

Revoke the light of day
To bedevil the demigods of the Saturn son
With the handgun of your feminine side
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Old 10-01-2008, 07:32 PM   #29
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^ song
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Old 10-01-2008, 11:17 PM   #30
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Anymore?
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